“I’m gonna do it. Today.”
A knight facing down a raging dragon couldn’t have managed the level of grim conviction in that single statement. The speaker’s expression mirrored his dour tone, the slits in his eyes boring into the face of his bat-winged companion. By contrast, his friend seemed to be caught somewhere between amusement and exasperation.
“Oh, today, huh? Just like all those other ‘todays.’ Face it, Shroud, there’s no way you can ever go through with it. You remember the last time you had a chance?”
The hard expression on Nightshroud’s face flickered as he recalled. He had jumped straight into her path, held up a hoof to stop her, and opened his mouth to declare his love to the world. Up to that point it had all gone exactly as planned, but then everything fell apart. All of the consequences of what he was about to do caught up with him in a flash. The surprise in her eyes changed quickly to confusion. As the silence stretched on, she gave him a look one might give a foal who’d said a bad word. She had just walked around him and left him staring at the place her eyes had been.
“T-this time’s gonna be different. I know what I did wrong last time. I just need to get it all out before she looks at me like that again. Simple.”
Blackwell rolled his eyes. “What you did wrong last time? What did you do right last time? You’re damn lucky you didn’t rattle off some ridiculous speech or you would’ve lost your job for sure.”
Nightshroud stoically held his head high. “Some things are more important than the job.”
“Not this job. This work is an honor most other ponies would kill for! Protecting royalty is one of the most important tasks in the nation, bar none.” Blackwell smiled mischievously at Nightshroud. “Besides, there’s plenty of hot tail around that can’t kick you through a wall. I heard Hover’s going into heat again soon.”
Nightshroud returned his friend’s smile. “What, you want me to become a slut like you?”
“Ha! Don’t knock it ‘til you’ve tried it, little guy. You’re never gonna get any with an attitude like that.”
Nightshroud tut-tutted, waving a hoof in the other’s face. “Quality over quantity, Blacks. Sometimes I think you’d give it up to your sister if she was in heat.”
Blackwell grinned wolfishly, “You know me too well, Shroud.”
Nightshroud scrunched up his nose in disgust. “Now you’re just being creepy. Come on, we have to get to our post.”
The bat-winged pegasi replaced their violet helms and shut their locker doors. With prep finished, they stepped out of the barracks and onto the castle grounds. The moon hung low over the darkened horizon, ready to blanket another land in its soothing glow. A blazing star stood on the verge of bathing Equestria in its light, cloaking the lesser stars with its brilliance. The two friends took flight, soaring over the glittering towers and colorful steeples of Canterlot Castle. They reached the rendezvous with the night shift, alighting on an ebony tower where a deep blue alicorn stood. Nodding wordlessly to the two guards already in attendance, they took up their positions flanking the princess. The four pegasi watched solemnly as an azure glow grew around the tower. The moon slowly sank beneath the horizon as if beckoned into a soft embrace.
At the same time, a golden glow enveloped an ivory tower on the other side of the castle. Just as the moon had gently given up its seat of power, the sun rose gracefully to continue its endless vigil. Their daily duties complete for now, the two sisters began their descent from the towers to a private dining room. The two groups came together in a long hallway. Celestia and Luna nodded officiously to the four guardsponies who made up the night shift. Thus dismissed, they saluted and returned to their barracks.
Celestia breathed a quiet sigh as she turned to her younger sister. “Good morning Lulu. I hope there were fewer madponies in Night Court than there were the last few nights.”
Luna rubbed her eyes in exhaustion and frustration. “I know not the mechanism by which you keep your patience throughout the Courts, sister. If I hear one more dream request from some jumped-up noble, I’m going to drown myself in our morning oatmeal.”
Celestia gave her sister a look of morbid interest. “Dream requests? You’ve gotten more of those? I would think the last few ponies would have served as a suitable example.”
Luna shook her head. “I doubt they would have told anypony about the dreams they really received. Actually, it was Blueblood who had a request last night.”
Celestia’s expression of grim curiosity changed to one of full-on disgust. She knew who was usually the object of such requests, and the thought of Prince Blueblood asking such a thing was truly frightening. “He didn’t.”
“Oh, do not worry, Tia, he wouldn’t dare. Apparently the newest Daring Do book came out and the author saw fit to give her a… love interest. He was most displeased. He spent a rather worrying amount of time and care putting together the ‘perfect dream’ and decided to regale me with the entire thing during Night Court.” Luna gave an involuntary shudder as she recalled his ‘rescue’ of Daring from the Pit of Living Vines.
Celestia rolled her eyes. “Ugh. It’s amazing to me how he manages to be such a snob when he has so little class. I will forever regret teaching him magic. Do you remember what he did when the griffin ambassador was staying in the castle? I thought she was going to tear…”
The princesses continued to catch up, ignoring the guards trotting behind them. Blackwell had been giving one of the Solar Guards a thoughtful look for a while now. He was sure he hadn’t seen this guard before. He smiled imperceptibly. Time for a little fun.
Catching the new guard’s attention, Blackwell made a slow and obvious glance at the retreating alicorns, then back at the guard. Not quite getting his meaning, the newbie cocked an inquisitive eyebrow at Blackwell. Waiting a moment for full effect, Blackwell took another short glance at the ethereal tails waving in front of them, looked straight at the guard, and winked. The guard’s eyes widened as he stared back, aghast. His eyes snapped forward as the sisters chatted obliviously on. He began to blush furiously and nearly strayed into his fellow Solar Guard’s path before getting a sharp prod from his hoof and an angry look. Still blushing, he fell back into step, alternating between stealing small peeks at Celestia and looking away in shame.
All of this was lost on Nightshroud, who was listening to Luna giggling at Celestia’s rather animated recounting of Blueblood dangling off the west battlements by a talon. “And – haha – And then she looked him dead in the eye and she said, ‘Let’s see how well you can levitate yourself.’ I only managed to convince her not to drop him by telling her he was a colt in a stallion’s body and didn’t know what he was doing! He had to play along so she wouldn’t throw him off the battlements.”
“Oh, I remember that day! So that was why he wore a bib to dinner. He’s never been so quiet and well-mannered in his life. We really should have Redfeather visit more often.”
They sat down, still talking as the servants populated the table with a large breakfast. They began discussing the political matters of the day as a silent battle broke out behind Luna. Blackwell was nodding his head toward Luna in a ‘go on’ gesture to his friend. Nightshroud shook his head firmly and tapped his ankle; ‘It’s not the right time.’ Blackwell made sure Celestia was busy pouring caramel on her chocolate chip pancakes, and returned a rather rude gesture associated with eunuchs. Nightshroud decided to ignore the gesture and drew a circle in the air with his hoof, indicating that the deed would be done later.
On the other side of the table, a similar muted argument was in full swing. Apparently, the elder guard had realized what the younger one was fidgeting about. After glaring pointedly at him for a while, the elder decided to just ignore him. He would understand soon enough. Celestia had a tried and true method for dealing with this sort of abuse of trust. He just prayed she didn’t notice while he was on shif-
“Flash Sentry, is something wrong?” Celestia had turned around and was looking at the younger guard. The ghost of a smile played across her otherwise impassive face.
“N-no your highness, nothing’s wrong. Just- um- first-day jitters.”
Celestia allowed herself a look of slight disappointment. “I set a high standard for my Guard, Flash. I hope these ‘jitters’ won’t affect the execution of your duties.”
“Of course not, Princess.” Flash visibly steadied himself under the white alicorn’s cold but gentle gaze.
“Excellent,” Celestia crooned, smiling warmly. The Solar Princess turned back to her sister, her smile transforming into a devious smirk. Luna knew all too well what this meant for the poor guard. The elder Solar Guard had caught the edge of that smirk, and groaned inwardly. This was gonna be a long day…
“Well I suppose we should be getting about our business. I am rather tired after the night I’ve had.” Luna finished off what was left of her dinner and stood up. “You really should go easy on everypony today, sister.” Luna gave her a very pointed, if amused, look.
“Dear Luna, you of all ponies know how others will behave if given the chance.” Celestia stood as well, shaking out her mane a little unnecessarily. “Some ponies don’t deserve leniency.” Celestia’s smile had regressed to a more motherly persuasion, but the twinkle in her eye betrayed her. She turned, beckoning her guards to follow and trotting back down the hallway toward the throne room. As she left, Blackwell stared after her.
Yep, he thought as he watched her hips swaying entirely too much to be accidental, those two are in for it today. He almost felt bad for the newbie… Almost.
Giggling quietly to herself, Luna beckoned Blackwell and Nightshroud to follow her as she trotted slowly toward her quarters. After a minute, she calmed down and put on a stern frown. “Sergeant, you really shouldn’t enable such behavior from our sister. It is most unseemly.”
Blackwell stood tall and kept his face serious. “I don’t know what you mean, your highness. I have conducted myself with my usual dignity and grace all morning.”
“Hmm, yes, we suppose you have behaved as gracefully as you normally do, but that’s no excuse for disobeying our instructions. We do not want a repeat of what happened when Fancy Pants was a guest at the castle. Are we clear?”
“Yes, Princess, I understand. It won’t happen again.”
Luna glanced over her shoulder at the solemn-faced guard. “See that it does not.”
They arrived at a set of ornate double doors. Originally deep blue with silver accenting, light violet waves danced across their surface like ripples as protective enchantments receded and resurfaced against each other. The enchantments faded as Princess Luna traced her glowing horn down the doorjamb. Nightshroud decided to seize his chance. He stood in the middle of the hallway as Princess Luna threw open the doors to her bedroom. Drawing in a slow breath, he steeled himself to say what he needed to say. He opened his mouth to begin… just as the doors closed in his face. “We bid thee good day, gentlestallions.”
Nightshroud just stared at the doorjamb, his mouth hanging open. Blackwell watched from his post to one side of the door. “You know, I thought it would be kinda funny to watch you utterly fail at talking to her again, but that was just sad.” Blackwell trotted over to him and threw a hoof over his shoulder. “Come on, take up your position. We’ll meet up at Tankard’s tonight. I’m buyin’.”
Nightshroud glared at the door, his right eye twitching. Seeming to come to a decision, a grim smile crossed his face. Still staring down the door, he shoved his friend’s hoof off of his shoulder. “I’m holding you to that, Blacks.” With that, Nightshroud took a shaky breath, stepped forward, and shoved open Luna’s bedroom door. Stepping quickly through, he turned back toward his fellow guard and closed the door in his stunned face.
Blackwell stared at the closed doors, the color draining from his face. “He’s gonna die,” he whispered, half horrified and half awed. Cautiously, almost reverently, he placed an ear to the door and waited for the fireworks to start.
On the other side of the door, Nightshroud suddenly found himself very alone with the mare of his dreams. He also found himself very alone with a powerful demigoddess whose bedtime rituals he’d just interrupted. He respectfully removed his helm and held it in his hooves as he turned around to face the Princess of the Night.
Luna had just finished putting most of her royal regalia away when Nightshroud came barging in. She stood facing him now, a look of suspicion and confusion on her face. “Are we under attack, guardspony?”
“N-no your highness. I… I just have something I need to say.”
“We see. Let us start you off then: ‘Princess Luna, you should not blast me through the door for the following reasons.’”
“Princess, there is no good reason for you not to blast me through the door right now except that I must say what I came to! I… I have… you see…” He was faltering again. Why was this part so hard to say!? Princess Luna’s horn began to glow ominously. Seeing that his possibly last chance was quickly escaping him, he finally found his voice. “PrincessLunaI’vefalleninlovewithyou!”
A loud clang was heard from the other side of the door as Blackwell facehoofed, but neither pony inside the room seemed to hear it. Luna was processing just how to react. Nightshroud couldn’t decide whether he was shaking from giddiness or fear, but both seemed relevant right now.
“You’ve fallen in love with me,” Luna said slowly and deliberately, “so you decided to burst into my room unannounced when I was about to go to sleep.” Nightshroud wished she would decide between anger and disbelief so he could figure out how bad he was supposed to feel. “What are you afflicted with!?”
Nightshroud took a breath to steady himself. It didn’t work, but it was worth a shot. “Princess, I know how this must look to you, but I’ve thought a lot about this. I know you can freeze me or teleport me to the sun or just plain fire me, but there is nothing more important to me right now than you understanding how I feel. I’m asking you to just… just hear my side of things and if you want to turn me into a toad afterward, you have every right to do so.”
The glow from Luna’s horn stopped getting brighter. “You have one minute.”
“This… has been coming for a long time. At first, I convinced myself it was just a simple crush and I decided to bear through it. I thought I would just get over it eventually, but it only got tougher. Every time I was assigned to guard you, I found myself listening intently to everything you said. I started looking forward to escorting you to the breakfasts you would have with Celestia because, even though I knew you weren’t speaking to me, I felt like I was getting to know you.” As he continued to explain, his memories of each decision that led to this point bolstered his feeling that there was no other way for this to end. Luna didn’t seem to be any happier about the situation, but at least she was listening.
“I found myself wanting to know more about you. At one point… I decided that this wasn’t healthy for me, so I decided to try distracting myself with other mares, but I couldn’t stop thinking about you. After that, I just accepted the fact that I wanted to be with you.” Nightshroud had been staring over her shoulder for a while, too afraid to look her in the eye. Now, though, he looked her full in the face. He was surprised by her thoughtful expression, but he couldn’t stop now that he was so close to getting everything off of his chest.
“Believe me, I know how it must feel for you to learn this about somepony who… who you trusted, especially under these circumstances. I wanted to stop you outside of your room, but I hesitated a bit too long.” Nightshroud knew he was rambling. His minute was probably already up. “Look, I know I don’t deserve you and that I’ve been pathetic about this whole thing. I know that you have every right to throw me out on my flank, but I couldn’t go on just stewing on this. I want to be with you and that’s all there is to it.”
Luna just stared at him. He tried to read her expression but beyond seeming deep in thought, she wasn’t displaying any emotion. “Yes… you have been pathetic about this,” Luna said quietly, more to herself than to him. “You’ve said a great deal about why I should throw you out. Do you think I have any reason to accept your advances?”
Nightshroud opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. He had good points… right? “Uhh… give me a minute on that.”
A smirk began to creep across Luna’s face. “No noble blood? No fortune? No distinguishing achievements?”
Nightshroud’s ears drooped. “No, Princess, not really.”
“Nightshroud, look at me,” Luna said, smiling full-on and giving him a teasing look, “am I wearing my crown right now?”
“Um… no…”
“Am I, in fact, wearing any of my regalia?”
“No.”
“Am I proclaiming myself using the royal ‘we’?”
Nightshroud gave her a look of complete confusion. “No, though I honestly hadn’t noticed that part.”
“Then why do you still insist on calling me ‘Princess’? My name is Luna. While I’m off-duty, call me by my name.”
“Yes Pr- Luna.” Nightshroud responded, suddenly looking uneasy. Something seemed wrong. Why wasn’t she shouting at him? “You seem less angry than I expected you to be. Aren’t you going to turn me into a toad or something?”
Luna giggled. “Nightshroud, you underestimate yourself far too drastically. If titles and money meant anything to me, I’d have ten dates a week. You could have been smoother about it, but humility is a surprisingly difficult thing to find these days. Besides,” Luna crooned, lowering her voice, “I found your dream about the moonlit café quite romantic.”
Nightshroud puffed out his chest at the complement. “Yes, I did quite enjoy that dream. Did you like th-“ Suddenly, what she said caught up with the rest of his brain. His eyes shrunk to tiny slits and he blushed deeply. “Uh… you didn’t happen to watch all of my dreams, did you?”
A smug grin was plastered all over Luna’s face. “Ohh, maybe not all of your dreams, though I do tend to keep a closer watch over those I trust with my protection.”
“I see. I should apol-“
“Stop right there, Nightshroud. Believe me when I say that compared to some ponies’ dreams about me, yours are tame.” A smoky smile split her features. “Don’t worry, we’ll have plenty of time to fix that. While we’re at it, we should fix whatever possessed you to burst into my room and slam the door behind you. I’ve had somepony else try that approach before. It was a rather unpleasant experience.”
Nightshroud grinned sheepishly. “Right, that was a pretty boneheaded move.” Nightshroud scratched the back of his neck awkwardly. “So, um, do you want to-“
Luna held up a hoof to stop him. “Later. I’ve had a long night, and I need my sleep. Also, you’re still on duty, guardspony.”
“R-right. We’ll… discuss this more later?”
“Indeed we shall.” Luna nodded toward the door, turning and dragging her hooves wearily toward her bed. As Nightshroud turned to go, he was halted by Luna’s voice. “One more thing, Nightshroud. For both of our sakes, do not take any dating advice from Sergeant Blackwell.” She shuddered under her covers. “Just trust me on this.”
“Yes, Princess,” Nightshroud said happily. He stepped out of Luna’s bedroom and closed the door softly behind him. He let out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding and turned to Blackwell with a massive grin on his face.
Blackwell was staring back at the closed double doors. “What does she have against me?”
Nightshroud shrugged, still grinning. “I dunno. What have you dreamed about her?”
Blackwell put a hoof to his chin in thought. After a few moments, he nodded sagely. “I suppose that’s fair.” He scowled at Nightshroud, who was still grinning from ear to ear. “You’re going to be insufferable about this, aren’t you?”
Nightshroud threw a hoof over Blackwell’s shoulder. “Blacks, you know me too well.” Nightshroud’s grin gradually broke into giggles, then into laughter. The laughter was infectious. Soon, Blackwell was laughing just as hard.
“I’m trying to SLEEP IN HERE!” A voice like thunder nearly rattled the two guards straight out of their armor. They quickly retook their posts and came to attention, staring straight ahead. As hard as he tried, Nightshroud couldn’t keep a smile from crossing his face.
Today was a good day.
Cute story
.....
This story has only one major flaw, but perhaps it was a mistake.
It is marked as 'completed.' The smooth writing style and adorable story suggest that this is a mistake.
Needless to say, I loved it.
...one-shot...that's a joke, right? You're good-naturedly ribbing me, aren't you? If that was a one-shot as opposed to a beautifully-woven tale with great characters and a decent plot, then I'm the Queen of England. No, I refuse to accept that. I hereby do away with your perception of reality and replace with my own, one in which you have expanded this into a story with no fewer than 10 or so chapters. Now go do it.
Also, have a fave and like.
It's over? Just like that? I mean in terms of the art of storytelling you did good about starting off as late as you could and cutting off as early as you could but part of me wishes it was more than a one-shot. This one is cute, cleverly written, has three dimensional characters THAT ARE RELATE-ABLE, and the main character is one that you like as a main character. The main character, to me, was the most relate-able one in the story.His flaws are perfect enough to counteract his good points amazingly and his friend is the complete opposite, almost like the devil on his shoulder.
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Alright, so the initial reaction to this story seems to be 'ONE-SHOT? EH?'
I have to admit, I could go places with this story. My only real gripe would be that I have a tendency to go dark and dramatic with stories when they go on a bit long for me. Even as I'm thinking about what to write next, I can see writer-me grinning evilly at me over his steepled fingers. I want this story to be fun and light-hearted, so I'll do what I can to keep his bony fingers away from the keyboard. It would just be laziness on my part to keep this as a one-shot.
Sooo, more chapters confirmed, I suppose. I'm busy with college and another story I'm writing, but a break is coming up, so hopefully I'll put in some work on both within the next month or so.
3382529
Why thank you good sir.
3382529
Yes! Look forward to reading it. Thank you very much!
3382529
If you want any help on expanding this story...I'd love to offer my assistance!
i also want to offer my help, for this story needs a mustache
That sounds fun! I'll help too if you want!
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Anyone who wants to help with this story, go ahead and PM me with what you'd like to do. I can't work on it much right now due to exams, but I have some free time this upcoming weekend.
This review is brought to you on behalf of the group: Authors Helping Authors
Name of Story: Lunar Gravity
Grammar score out of 10 (10)
Pros
1. Your sense of humor shines through very well. The combination of Blackwell acting as the joker and Nightshroud as the strait man is perfect.
2. Your inclusion of Flash Sentry was unexpected, simple, and funny. He was there, he served his purpose, and he was gone.
3. The play between Celestia and Luna read just as sisters would talk to each other.
Cons (list three cons)
1. The only thing that I can find to even nit-pick about is that Luna seemed to switch from threating to accepting a little too quickly. However, with her having seen his dreams she might be more flattered that he took the chance to profess his love than I realize. As I said, I am really having to stretch to even find anything to comment on negatively.
2. I’ve got nothing.
3. Even your grammar is perfect.
Notes:
I really cannot see a way you can improve this. The only thing I would suggest is that you add a chapter or two more to this wonderful story.
Enjoy your review! Please help me out by looking at my story: Luna’s Nightmare Night Challenge.
Hilarious and very well written.
Welcome to my favorites.
This fic amuses me so.
continue the story
3477365
Rest assured, it's in the works.
3382529
I wonder what dreams he was having....
3521953 We may never know...
3521958
But we can always dream...
3522004
Sshhh don't let Luna hear you...
3522010
Oh really...
fc01.deviantart.net/fs71/i/2011/100/1/e/luna_trollface_by_spaerk-d3dp4k7.png
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Oh. Uhm... Hi, Princess! So how have you been? Good? Good... I know how this looks, but I only wrote this fic to... um... why is your horn glowing?
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images1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120908225442/mlp/images/thumb/9/9d/Luna_Magic_S2E4.png/480px-Luna_Magic_S2E4.png
"...And that's how foals are made."
"But how does that explain the weird black streak on the ground?"
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media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/a6/d8/3b/a6d83b878780a443dc405fc24747941d.jpg
3522164
I want to reply with something clever, but all I can think about is how when someone replies to a comment I made on one of my stories, it sends me two notifications. It makes my OCD act up. *twitch*
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Really... *proceeds to cackle fiendishly and rub hooves together*
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Hydra.... wut are you doin
Hydra
Stahp
3522286
Don't you mean 'stop'?
3522299
Correction, it sends me two notifications on-site and an e-mail. Oh Celestia, now I have both tabs open.
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fc09.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2012/330/1/c/princess_trollestia_by_daddius-d5mb1j3.jpg
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Now I closed the tab with my email, but my email is linked to my phone! GAH! Modern technology, why you do this?
fc05.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2012/067/f/d/crazy_twilight_by_ackdari-d4s16e7.png
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[youtube=www.youtube.com/watch?v=JK6zxE1GJqQ]
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This video makes everything better.
denver.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/rsz/609_large.jpg
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Ah technology. Allowing me to annoy people since... well about an hour ago it would seem.
Here is your return review on behalf of the group: Authors Helping Authors
Name of the story: Lunar Gravity
Grammar score: 10/10
The grammar was great and the dialogue very well punctuated. There was nothing that drew me out of the story's flow as I read.
Pros:
The dialogue was very engaging and although the idea behind the story is old the jokes were fresh and the execution sharp and enjoyable.
The dynamic between the royal sisters was excellent and showed their depth and experience. It was far better than the stuff I usually get in stories about them. The relationship between those two is one of my favorites to read when it is well done and the usual comedy involving the princesses often gets too silly to be interesting anymore.
Cons:
I feel like Luna's depth as a character turned more shallow when Nightshroud confronted her about his feelings. Although we learn that she has already been aware of him, I imagine she would have been more stern and calculating in her acceptance of him.
Regarding Nightshade's dialogue with Luna: I thought some of his responses to her comments were a bit too clever or well-thought-out. I think he would be a bit more dumbfounded that she would even consider him. Even just adding a little more body language to their whole conversation would probably clear that up for me.
Notes:
Again, I love finding authors who can write Celestia and Luna well. The story had me smiling the whole way through and I definitely look forward to more.
Also, I personally liked the bash on Flash Sentry and hope you will continue to give him trouble if you expand the story. He deserves a good couple of emotional bruises... just a suggestion ;)
I actually really enjoyed this! I couldn't help smiling and giggling. It was full of fluff, and this is actually my first exposure to Luna fluff, and I have to say that I FRIGGIN LOVE IT! Can't wait to read more!
I love it so far, moar! I request moar!