All of the ponies in the market were busy buying food and other essential items for their foals. Everything was peaceful until they saw Pinkie Pie running past them carrying Scootaloo.
“Pinkie what's the hurry?” yelled Berry Punch from far back in the market. She was curious as to what happened.
Pinkie turned her head back for a moment and said, “Sorry. Can’t talk right now, Berry. Scootaloo might be hurt…. got to,” Pinkie was out of breath, but continued to talk, “to… I need to get her back to the library!”
With that Pinkie spad off to the golden oak tree, leaving the ponies in the market, some confused and some felt sorry for what ever happened to that little filly.
Pinkie Pie stopped at the door to the library. Instead of opening it like she normally would, she kicked it open.
When she got in she saw her friends gathered around the table, just staring at her. Fluttershy was scared, Twilight was just confused, Rarity was just looking at the her hooves, and Applejack gave her a stern look.
Fluttershy got out of her scared sight as she saw the filly on Pinkie’s back. The Pegasus gasped and pushed her friends out of the way.
“Oh my! What happened?” Fluttershy asked, a little curious as well as scared as to why Scootaloo was in such a state. She had a bit of blood on her right hoof while her face had some bruises. “What kinda monster did this, Pinkie?”
Twilight walked over to her pink friend “Where did you find her, Pinkie?” she asked, levitating a quill and paper over to her desk. She smiled. “Okay, Pinkie. Please tell me everything, so I can send a letter to the princess describing what happened.”
Pinkie rubbed the back of her head. “Okay. First off, I found her in the clubhouse at Sweet Apple Acres and to top that, I saw Diamond Tiara with a knife next to poor poor Scootsy’s neck! I-I-I think Diamond Tiara wanted to kill her. But why I don’t know,” Pinkie Pie said as she pulled some candy out of her mane.
The others gasped at the news that Pinkie had just told them. They started talking amongst themselves, all but Twilight, since she was still writing a paper to Celestia.
Twilight scratched her head with the quill she started adding in more stuff she wanted to find out; where Scootaloo’s parents were and maybe Celestia had the answer, she hoped.
After she finished it she called for Spike, who arrived downstairs within minutes.
Of course, he complained at first, but when he saw how badly Scootaloo might be injured he saluted Twilight and with his dragon breath sent the paper. When the flames vanished, to conclude he sent it, he started crying because he was afraid Scootaloo might not make it or worst but, Twilight reassured him that Fluttershy was a great doctor. No matter how much pain Scootaloo was is in she would survive.
Spike gave Twilight a hug and the two sat down, observing Fluttershy tending to the injured filly.
Twilight then decided to use her magic to fix the door that Pinkie Pie broke due to her being in a hurry. The magic erupted from her horn and a purple aura enveloped the doors pieces and they started coming to gather in the purple light and the door got fixed like nothing had happened.
“Piece of cake,” Twilight said to no one in particular and decided to sit back down, though she regretted it, for what came next surprised her.
A cyan pegasus came face first into the library, breaking the door down.
At this point Twilight was getting angry. She literally just fixed it once again mere seconds ago.
Twilight fixed it again with her magic and turned to Rainbow Dash. She walked up to her and yelled in her ear, “RAINBOW DASH, HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF KNOCKING?!
Rainbow started shaking like a dog removing all the books and dirt from her body. She then scratched the back of her head. “Hehe. Sorry, Twilight I was in too much of a hurry.”
Rainbow walked over to Scootaloo. Fluttershy had just finished bandaging her up.
Rainbow Dash pat the filly on the head “Oh, little sis, this… this is all my fault. I don't deserve to be called a sister.” Tears were now falling out of her eyes. Rainbow felt so bad. She felt like she failed. “M-Maybe I'm not so awesome…” Rainbow Dash lowered her head in defeat. The only thing she wanted right now was for Scootaloo to be safe.
Pinkie Pie felt a pain in her chest. She was all so afraid of what might happen to Scootaloo if it turned out she truly was an orphan.
“Oh no! What if she’s taken away from her friends, or maybe worst? What if—?” Pinkie stopped. She truly couldn't think of anything else. She looked at Scootaloo in eye. “If this truly is the case, I know what I must do.”
Pinkie walked over to the couch and waited for Scootaloo to awake.
Fluttershy continued wiping off any blood the little filly had. After finishing with the filly, she grabbed a cup of water and started gargling it down, but Fluttershy was still concerned over her friend; Rainbow Dash was still in a rather sad mood. Fluttershy decided to just sit next to the filly until she wakes up.
Twilight heard what sounded like the about to be broken— “Oh no you don’t! Not this time,” Twilight used her magic to open the door, and Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle came running in with worried expressions on their faces.
“Where's Scootaloo?” both fillies asked in unison. Sweetie Belle and Applebloom had found out about their friend by Rainbow Dash, when she took Diamond Tiara into jail.
Twilight started to get worried. She didn't want to tell them what happened or they might be afraid or scared for Scootaloo. “Um, first off, how did you two find out about this?” Twilight asked curiously.
Sweetie Belle coughed a little and said, “Rainbow Dash told us after she took Diamond Tiara to jail. We were kinda on our way to Sugarcube Corner. That’s how she found us. Dash seemed worried. Please, Twilight, tell us what happened?” Sweetie Belle started to get all teary eyed.
It hurt Twilight to see Sweetie Belle like this so she took a deep breath. “Okay I’ll tell you; you deserve to know,” she glared at Rainbow. Deep inside Twilight didn't want them to know about any of this, but they were bound to find out at one point.
Thirty minutes passed as Twilight explained to the two Cutie Mark Crusaders of what happened.
“B-But that makes no sense! Why would Diamond do this to Scootaloo? We know she’s a bully but…. she went too far,” Sweetie belle said on the verge of tears again.
Twilight brought both Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle into a small friendly hug.
Twilight smiled and said, “Don’t worry, girls. as soon as Scootaloo wakes up, we’ll know the truth.
Twilight backed away from the hug and walked back to where she’d been reading her books and pulled out her pocket watch. It said 4;00 pm. “Huh. She's been knocked out for about an hour. I hope she wakes up soon,” Twilight said starting to get worried.
Scootaloo fluttered her eyes open, then squinted. It stunned her to see a bright light in her eyes.
Scootaloo started to get up, but fell back down due to her injuries. She looked to the left and saw Rainbow Dash sleeping there next to her on the couch. “W-Where am I?” Scootaloo asked out loud. This got everypony’s attention.
Rainbow Dash’s ears twitched. After she heard her little sister’s voice she brought her hoofs over to Scootaloo, and brought her into a loving embrace. Soon the entire group joined the hug.
It felt strange for Scootaloo to be loved by her friends like this. She started to tear up a little bit “T-This has to be a dream,” Scootaloo closed her eyes. “W-When I wake up, I-Il be in the clubhouse and this is all a dream. Deep inside she didn't believe any of this was real.
Pinkie bounced over to the crying filly. Ohh! Ohh! A game! I wanna play! I wanna play!" Pinkie just kept bouncing up with the same happy smile on her pink face. Pinkie put her hooves over her eyes. “Ten, nine, eight…” Pinkie stopped, realizing Scootaloo actually did think all this was a dream. Pinkie brought Scootaloo into a warm hug “Aw, it’s okay, little one. This isn't a dream. You're really here with your friends. By the way where are your parents?
Scootaloo felt as if her heart had been broken into two pieces. “Where are your parents just traveled down her mind. More tears were trying to break out of her like a flood.
“Come on, Scootaloo! You can do this! Don’t cry. It would make you look so uncool,” Scootaloo said to herself getting a strange look from Twilight. Scootaloo realized it was over. She was going to have to tell them sooner or later. “I’m an orphan,” Scootaloo said, burying her head into her hooves. The secret was out.
Everypony and dragon gasped.
“Scootaloo, there’s no need to worry. we’re your friends tell us please, I mean whatever it is, I'm sure we can help you with it. So you’re an orphan? Could… could you tell us what happened to your parents? Twilight finished quietly.
The tears stopped coming and Scootaloo looked at her friend’s with her purple eyes. “If I tell you, do you promise to not hate me?” Scootaloo asked still unsure of the praticamente she’d gotten in.
Rainbow draped a wing over Scootaloo. “Squirt, we could never hate you, no matter how bad or worst things you might have done, your my little sister and I love you as one,” Rainbow Dash said, and ruffled the little filly’s purple mane and put a hoof on the fillly’s back and started rubbing her to make her feel comfortable. Pinkie joined in as well they were both smiling at the little orange Pegasus.
Scootaloo smiled, for the first time in her life she felt loved and for once she wasn't running for her life to find food, water, or even a pony who would accept her.
Taking a deep breath Scootaloo said, “Okay, it all began….
She never deserved being attacked.
4393866 true that
4393868 Though...can you arrest ponies?
4393885 yeah you can ive seen it done in other stories before
Will diamond tiara be featured in future chapters?
4393903 i will have a chapter for the court order and what will happen to her soon can't let her go free without paying some type of punishment
Pinkie pie approved is better then twilight approved
Awwe shit. Twi is pisted. And now some epic shnit.
4393938 all will be reviled in the next chapter
4393964 that it is
4394175 ok and cool
4393885 Considering what Diamond Tiara did, even if arresting isn't usually something ponies do I'm sure her crimes make her an exception.
4394308 I wonder if she managed to hit her. (Maybe I skipped that)
I'm glad to see this updated, though there were several technical mistakes. It was rushed, there was some incorrect punctuation, and most of the ponies seemed out of character. And then there was Rainbow Dash. Apparently Rainbow Dash took Tiara to jail and told the other two Crusaders what happened, but you never mentioned her leaving and she was still there when Applebloom and Sweetie Belle came in. And this isn't the first chapter I've seen these kinds of mistakes, either. So I was pretty much like the whole chapter. Sorry if it comes off as harsh but I am really bad at sugarcoating things and I don't want to lie. But the least I can tell you is that the idea is good, and if the execution were better it would make a magnificent story.
4395649 but it all ready got featured earlier made a blog about it but ok
4395655 Well, excuse me then. I'm just pointing out a few things I found, but I'll shut up if you want me to.
4395664 i will see if i can edit what ever is needed tho
4395670 Alright then.
4395670 Hey, Matt, if one of your readers says that there's a lot of things wrong with this latest chapter here, 9/10 times they're right, so don't be so quick to brush them off. Talk to them and get specific examples for each issue they bring up and do your best to fix the mistakes. In this case, this guy is right. For example, look here:
There's an extra space between the word "ponies" and "that", "foals" should have a period after it, the next word should be capitalized, "passed" should be "past", and as for the end of the sentence, you don't need to say all those descriptive words (orange pegasus filly), just say Scootaloo's name. AND that's just from the first, well, first two sentences.
4395649 Don't ever sugarcoat things; tell them how you see it. Also, the next time you comment on someone's story, saying that there are lots of issues, it's generally polite to actually point out specific mistakes in quotes, and then offer the correct alternative.
If you do not tell the author what's wrong with his/her story, how will they ever learn how to get better? They never will, and they'll just keep making the same mistakes over and over.
4395942 Technically I did tell him what was wrong. I didn't have time to specify it. To do so, I would essentially have to rewrite the whole story, because the problem is mostly in rushed pacing and OOC characters. Unfortunately, homework does not wait for everyone and I already need to make time for a different editing project and a story of my own. Tomorrow's test isn't helping matters. So however much I would like to help point out specific mistakes, I really cannot. I did the best I could and that's that. And I'm a girl, not a guy.
4395942 thanks that helps me alot
4396055 Uhh... I never called you a guy
4396148 You said "In this case, this guy is right" on your reply to Matt11's reply to my comment. So I take that to mean you were referring to me.
4396070 No, you didn't read my message right.
Here's what you have (which is wrong):
And here's how it should look like:
4396170 oh i will fix it again
4396154 Ah. I prefer to think the word guy used in this case is gender neutral, because the mane six have called each other that before.
4396183 Ah, sorry. I get rather defensive about gender sometimes, even though sometimes (read: most times) I misunderstand the other person's meaning. So, sorry.
4396055
getting them to be in character is like the hardest thing for me I must admit its so freekin hard to do that
4398965 I know what you mean. Just try to remember their character and how they act and speak and find a way that makes them do what you want them to do but in their unique way.
4399342 k I shall try
Alright... It's late and I just have a quick question for whomever could answer me... Sorry if it happens to piss anyone off or something...
At this part I thought it should be more of a Pinkie behavior thing... I think it should be more like this:
But of course that's just me thinking with a mentally diffused brain at the moment... So I was just wondering if anyone could possibly answer me? Of course I wish nothing bad. I was just hoping to see if anyone would agree with this... I think? I'm not sure... I'll just go attempt to sleep now. Sorry for bugging you guys.
4402549 I fixed it
poor scootsy :'(