I sighed and let down the quill. It had been several years since my coronation. Up to that day, everything had been alright. Any time she ever seemed to ignore me, back then, was just a misunderstanding. I was so young and sensitive. But things are different now. It's been a full year since she has written a single word to me. Although my subjects here are kind, I haven't made any real friends yet. My dear friends from Ponyville are busy with their lives, but we are still as close as ever on the rare occasions when we do get to see each other. Being away from them has made it even harder not to have my mentor around.
How could she just abandon me like this? I know she believes in me, but does she really think I can handle doing all of this alone? I can't. I feel like the ground I was standing on fell out from under me. Even so... I guess there could still be a good reason she hasn't written. Although I'd think someone would have let me know if something were wrong… Well, Celestia, you taught me not to burn bridges without first considering the consequences. I need to calm down and think this over first.
As I reread the letter the next morning, some of the words I had written surprised even me. This all needs to be said... But maybe I don't have to put it quite so harshly - she doesn't deserve that. Or maybe I should just forget about it. It's not like she's going to read it anyhow. As I considered the options, glancing over the levitating parchment, CRASH!
"TWILIGHT!" A flash of pink magic. The scroll was gone.
"Twilight!" Spike rushed in, panting. "The - newspaper - princess - read!"
I was already on the edge of hyperventilating about the letter's disappearance, but one look at the headlines was enough: A Royal Threat! Unknown foe threatens to bring down diarchy! My words burst out all at once. "I have to go to Canterlot RIGHT NOW."
"But," he said, catching his breath, "Celestia told you to stay here - she said you had to spend your time helping your new subjects and not worry about things back home."
"It's not just that. I think I just sent a letter to her that... that I really didn't want to send!"
"Umm, why did you write it, then?"
"I don't know! I had things that I needed to say! The point is, she can't read that letter, especially now that she has another villain to deal with - she must be totally stressed out already! There might still be time, if…" We exchanged glances. Spike could read me so well by that time that he knew exactly what book to get, and to get it stat.
"Got it!"
Spike reappeared a minute later with a large, purple journal, decorated with pink and white stars. "Are you sure you want to try it now?" My new teleportation spell was ready - it had to be. There were plenty of decent teleportation spells, but I needed one that would work across long distances. I'd made it so that I could visit my friends and get back quickly enough, but there was no time for casual visits this day.
"Yes. I have to make sure she doesn't read that letter. And maybe I can help find out where this threat came from! Can you deal with my mail while I am gone?"
"Of course! I keep telling you, I wouldn't mind helping with some of it anyway, like before -"
"Just take care of it, please. I'll be back as soon as I can."
A deep breath. I had to focus. As the tingly glow surrounded me, I felt myself become momentarily weightless. It must be working! I felt something soft and cool brush against my face. And again. I shouldn't still feel weightless like this... I was in freefall, bumping into clouds. "GAAAH!" I managed to spread my wings just in time to turn a potential face-first crash into a graceful, rather princess-like landing on the castle balcony. "Ah! I did it!" I giggled a little, but the seriousness of my task quickly snapped me back to reality. The letter. I hope I'm not too late.
No sooner did I start running down a corridor than a guard stepped around the corner and CRASH! "Princess Twilight! It's been a long time - " But I didn't have time for that.
"Where is Princess Celestia?"
"Uh, I think she's in the grand hall, but -" As soon as I regained my balance, I sped past the yellow colt without so much as an apology.
I cantered toward the grand hall. Knowing Celestia, she was likely in there thinking or - I gulped at the thought - reading mail, at a time like this At least she probably would not be busy. I tried to organize my thoughts.while I ran. Hi, Celestia! Er, hello, Princess. What should I even call her now? As her student in Canterlot, I was one of the only ponies with the right to approach her without asking, not to mention the right to speak to her informally. But now, the idea of talking to her, alone in such a massive, empty space, seemed more intimidating than if there had been a crowd I could melt into if things didn't go well. What if she's really stressed about the situation? If she hasn't wanted to contact me for so long then either it must be really bad or she must really not want to talk to me. But I had to try, at least to get the letter. Maybe even to try to mend whatever went wrong between us. So you know that one letter you just got? You haven't had a chance to read it yet, right? Good! I mean, um, I forgot to, er, check my spelling! Why am I here? Well, I saw in the newspaper… I thought maybe I could help? You know, just like old times? But what if she did read it? Oh, that wasn't really for y- I mean, I didn't mean to - I, I'm so sorry… I rehearsed so many possible ways the conversation could go, each a worse scenario than the previous, as I sped to a gallop. If I passed any other acquaintances in the castle, I did not notice, too fixated on my goal to care.
The doors of the grand hall came into sight. The memory of the last time I burst through them like this, when I made a fool of myself and nearly lost everyone that mattered to me, slowed me nearly to a stop. I paused just before the massive entrance. So much has changed since then, besides just learning to be a little more tactful. Well, I thought I had learned that lesson, anyway. For a while, we were so close - she always trusted me and let me go to her anytime something was wrong - until I moved away and she… until you started acting like I fell of the face of the planet. I recalled the more recent memory from this room of my coronation. Maybe she'll be glad to see me after so long, especially if our letters just haven't been going through. Yes, deep breaths, Princess Twilight, I can handle this. If I can rule a kingdom then I can certainly face my old teacher. Of course she'll be glad to see me, right?
The doors, with a sparkle of my magic, slowly swung on their hinges, opening to a familiar scene. There was my mentor, pacing the length of the hall, deep in thought. A scroll was hovering before her. My heart sank.
"Celestia?" I said hesitantly.
"What are you doing here?" I froze in my steps at the icy words. She did not even turn to face me. Was my vision at Sombra's door coming true?
I responded timidly, "Did you get my… my letter?"
She rolled up the scroll and was very quiet for a moment. "Which one?" with a frown.
"I sent it just -"
"Why do you keep sending them at all?"
"But you said -"
She turned to face me. "Do you think I have time for this right now?"
But - ... I shivered all over. She really hadn't wanted me to write to her. She really didn't care. That, or my awful letter had been as terribly hurtful to her as I had feared. As if I were an awkward filly again, feeling out of place in her very presence, my words got scrambled in nervousness and I lowered nearly to a bow. "I - I'm so sorry! I didn't mean - to - to send th-"
Her familiar pink eyes narrowed and regal voice faltered, "How could you write such things? This level of disrespect... It doesn't matter now. You should be home, working out how to be a better leader for your subjects." She glanced at my crown with a look of regret, then back to the parchment hovering before her. "As for this," a stray tear escaped to the floor. With a flash of light, she burnt - no, disintegrated - the letter. I subconsciously backed up as she began to walk toward me. Towering over me (despite the few inches I had grown since last seeing her), her eyes pierced right through my heart. "I am very disappointed in you."
All I can remember after that is the pastel blur of her walking away. I lay in the middle of the floor, staring as if she might come back through the doors, still in shock, my tears dampening the red rug. The familiar, aching void in my heart, now vacant of any last glimmers of hope, felt as big and as empty as the room. I had lost my mentor.
It seemed that only a few minutes had passed when I lifted my head and realized the stars were already out. I was in no state to try the spell again without rest, so I walked silently up to the castle library, where I had spent countless all-nighters studying for magic tests. I chose a good book for a makeshift pillow, listlessly shook off some of the dust, and tried to get comfortable. The familiar smell of the old pages offered some comfort. It was always at times like this, when I was feeling sad, or afraid, or lost, that I would run to you. But now the one I would go to looking for safety, stability, comfort… Whatever was left of our bond was ruined.
A chill ran down my spine. I curled up and pulled my tail around me for warmth. I would leave with no good-byes as soon as the sun rose. I would go "home," where I belonged. How could I be so stupid? I never should have come back.
...What?
What the hell?! Okay, there better be a good explanation for Celestia acting like this! I demand answers! NOW!
3372039
Agreed.
chrysalis strikes again. seriously, who agrees with me?
3372039
Oh, there IS a good reason. She's still the Celestia we know and love, but there's another factor we will see soon...
3372049 Another factor for the callous attitude? The fact that she apparently condemned Twilight to be miserable? I'm curious as to what that could be. And what could possibly justify it.
Not to mention how the hell she can still be the Celestia we know and love.
Errr... not to sound mean or anything but it seemed you switched view points near the end. It went from first person to third rather abruptly. Great none the less. I was struck dumb that Celestia was being a meanie pants to Twilight... You gotta explain that.
Did you do the art yourself? That forward shot of Twilight... HHgnnn!! So beautiful!!
I like this, but a note: dialogue from different characters should be separated in their own paragraphs.
Ex:
Should be:
Otherwise the constant speaker shifts can disorient the reader
I just popped open this video and it began to play right as I was reading Twilight enter Celestia's court, the first song was so fitting
3372080 This. So much. It was really difficult reading the back and forth dialogue.
3372009
<rolls up a newspaper, and swats the alicorn on the end of the nose> No! Bad filly! Making Twilight cry! That's like... mixing a cocktail of orphan and indian tears while reclining in a leather couch upholstered with calf skin and covered with a baby seal pelt!
Yeah, might want to go through and fix all the spacing. Cause otherwise, it's just a jumbled mess.
She's a changeling. Called it.
Dammit hope you wont ruin a great emotional story by trying to turn it into an epic adventure and fail the people you attracted with the "simple" first chapter.
Lets wait and see why Celestia is an asshole.
Hmm... Nice characterization on Twilight, you capture her personality well. I also like the pictures. Did you draw those yourself?
Like a couple other people mentioned, you REALLY need to start a new paragraph each time there's a different speaker. Also remember that the characters are doing more than just talking, there's body language, differences in tone, facial expressions, etc. that are going on at the same time. Leaving them out leads to a "talking head" syndrome.
As for the content, I'm not sure the hypocrisy was intended there. Celestia taught Twilight not to burn bridges, then merrily destroys everything between her and Twilight. I'm pretty sure it's really Celestia, it started over a year ago.
The only reason I can imagine is that Celestia wants off of Twilight's pedestal. Even doing so by severing ties is problematic, especially for someone of Twilight's temperament. But that harsh attack in person is probably unrecoverable.
The short term consequences are that Celestia loses Twilight's love and friendship. Long term... Spike can probably keep Twilight from going into a self-destructive spiral of depression, and her friends could help if they know about it; but it's still a possibility. The other possibility I see is that Twilight becomes embittered towards her one-time mentor. Most likely she will simply turn a blind eye to Celestia's troubles, but soon she could start actively opposing Celestia, eventually becoming an outright enemy. And as a full fledged alicorn, and still element of magic, that is not something to sneeze at. Have you seen those Twi-goes-bad fics? Scary.
I put odds at 35% spiral of depression, 5% heathy recovery, 25% not willing to help Celestia anymore, 25% active political opponent, 10% Evil Empress of Magic.
I look forward to how you plan to handle this.
3372070
That isn't mean at all! I reread the end, but did not notice any third person perspective. Could you specify where this was?
3372080
Saved my life. I thought about doing this and then completely forgot to before submitting it. Thank you!
3372653
Precisely why I was torn about adding to it. I like the first chapter as a standalone. Many also wanted some resolution. I hope that you can still enjoy the letter alone if you do not care for the rest. I do not, however, plan to make it an epic adventure - it will be a short-ish story with the main focus remaining on Celestia and Twilight.
3372778
Thank you - yes, I drew them! Although, hah, I just realized Celestia's massive head in that second one.
Hmmm, these are interesting possibilities...
3373044
Ekk! Sorry it was my mistake. It was where Twilight thought 'I could hear the held back tears in her voice'. I thought she was talking about herself. Actually now that I'm more or less sober I can see the emotions behind this part. Man! Just how much did Twilight hurt Celestia with that letter! Especially if you consider the bond they shared. This is speculating that it is mother and daughter type. Kids never appreciate what the parent does it may seem bad, sometimes it is bad, but it's necessary! Twilight might not have seen it but she had been dependent on Celestia quite a bit.
Err... This again reenforces that I should not read past 1 in the morning.
3373044
Good to know, seen it more then once how a good short story was turned into a "long" one and lost most of its appeal because the author tried to satisfy his readers, and it ending with him/her doing the opposite.
Good luck.
I liked the letter, and I'm very intrigued by this new turn of events... I'm glad you decided to give this story some extra content, and I look forward to this resolution.
that's about right, considering tia has always used and treated Twilight and her friends as a tools and attack dogs
3372778 The sad thing is...it appears that this Celestia doesn't seem to care about Twilight's love and friendship anymore. Though I would love to see her reaction if she ever visited Twilight's kingdom and was for some reason surprise that Twilight either kept her distance or was openly hostile to her. But if Twilight does start to actively oppose her, I would love to see Celestia's reaction when Twilight finally calls her out.
Twilight should totally respond to this situation by destroying some of Canterlot's support struts, causing who knows how much of the castle and city to fall off the mountain and smash into the ground below.
3374173
Yes, she should murder thousands of innocents over a hurt response to a letter.
3374301
Why yes, she should. I'm glad that you agree. After all, directly assaulting innocent people is simply the right and proper way to handle disputes with someone completely different. I mean, after all, we wouldn't want Twilight to handle her conflicts in a normal and healthy fashion right? No, we want her to fly into a rage and cause epic conflicts using alicorn magic! That's the real money maker.
Wait, so I'm just making a huge guess here, author, feel free to delete this comment if it is correct, but is the threat to Canterlot Twilight? Oh, and I'm going to guess that the reason Celestia is so mad is that Twilight came there right after she sent the letter that hurt her...and made her heart harden to never trust a pony again. I'll now cover that in black just to be safe! ...Wait, how do you do that? ...Shoot!
3524319
Not even close, but a very interesting thought!
I'm hoping to finish the next chapter tonight.
3524850
Oh well, I tried didn't I? But at least I know that I can see the next part soon!