SHARD #23,714
It was a perfect world.
After all, The Number was still going up.
The pony stared up at The Number, hanging in the sky above the town. By now, it was several hundred digits long and still rising. The pony pressed her button, and felt a little shudder of excitement as The Number increased. She looked around at all her friends gathered in the town square with buttons of their own, stamping their hooves up and down on them as quickly as they could. With every click, The Number grew even further. She distantly remembered when she had first come to Equestria. She’d had a lover, and a family, and everything else she thought she’d wanted. But as time went by she found that wasn’t enough. She craved something more, something concrete she could point to as proof of what she had accomplished.
That was the day Celestia had appeared to her, and given her a small, white plastic box with a red button on top. She pressed it the first time out of sheer curiosity, and The Number had erupted forth from the sky, a fifty-foot tall glowing ‘1.’ She pressed the button again, and it became a ‘2.’ From that moment forth, she knew what she would be spending the rest of eternity doing.
Looking back on it now, it was almost funny how excited she’d gotten about The Number going up by just one at a time. Celestia had passed out buttons to every pony on the shard, and they had all agreed to take shifts pressing them to make The Number rise even faster. Then one of them had hit upon the idea of asking Celestia to modify away their need for sleep, or food, or water and their progress had accelerated. They’d also asked her to stop the cycle of day and night, and now the sun hung low in the sky fixed and unmoving. The only sign of time’s passage was the continuing increase of The Number.
Every few days, to the extent the word still had any real meaning, Celestia would return to the shard and make the ponies an offer. The Number would go down, regrettably, but in exchange each press of the button would make it go up even faster in the future. The negotiations with her over the details of how much The Number would decrease in exchange for how much of an increase in the rate often became heated. Entire teams of unicorns were exempted from pressing their buttons, and the beads of their abacuses clacked away as they tirelessly calculated the break-even point where the exchange would be beneficial under all sorts of different time horizons and conditions. After untold years, every press of every button was raising the number by trillions at a time, proof positive of her efforts and accomplishments. The lower digits were an unreadable blur as the air filled with frantic clicking for hours at a time.
The ponies rarely spoke to one another. What would be the point? They knew what they were there to accomplish, and they were united in friendship by their common purpose. Occasionally, the air was filled with whoops and cheers as The Number attained a new digit, but by nature these were rare and grew rarer as The Number grew even larger.
She’d had a name, once, but now she couldn’t for the life of her remember what it was. Sometimes her mind would drift and she would try to remember her foal’s birthdays, or names, or anything that they’d had before The Number, but before she could dwell on any of it for very long the sounds of great, echoing bells would fill the air. That was the signal that for the next fifteen minutes every button press would count ten times as much as usual! She’d redouble her focus and pound away, forcing any other thoughts from her mind except to press the button even faster. Nothing mattered except perpetual, unflinching service to The Number.
It was a perfect world.
This one's probably a bit of a stretch to call 'canonical,' but it amused me.
Cookie Clicker: Not Even Once.
it's sad, but true. >.<
3332960 *glances at Cookie Clicker running in the background*
As soon as you mentioned The Number, I knew what it was. Never could figure out the appeal of that game. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have cities to build in Minecraft.
DA Winna and new reigning champion for weirdest shard The Number Shard.
Still I can't believe anyone would like this. I personally will call this one vision of hell.
3332960
How many of these do you plan on releasing in a day? Just out of curiousity
Skinner Boxes.
oh my god that is awesome and creepy that is what she values the most
im a little scared sir also so happy for a new chapter so soon
3333065
Depends on how fast I write 'em. They only take me about an hour apiece. Still, I have a Scootaloo story I need to focus on so I wouldn't expect to see too many more today. There's five or six topics on my list right now, we'll see how soon I burn through them.
See, I thought more of pinball. What is any form of game except a more complicated version of The Number? If you look down on this shard, what do you say about the shards that are D&D simulations?
3333074
Ah okay well if you need anymore ideas due let us know I've got a list of shards you could try myself, and I'm sure the other do to.
3333076
How you figure PJ? I'd like to think that Borderlands 2 is a bit more complicated then this. This is me playing with my calculator in Math class cause its somehow more fun then listening to it.
These are very cool. A great way to document the infinite variety of a world governed by a genius loci who knows what you want infinitely better than you do. I look forward to more.
3333067
I believe we may have the mare's name. Maybe singular, but still.
3330696
Feature box!
Eeeeeakin!
derpicdn.net/img/view/2013/3/25/278726__safe_animated_bon+bon_caramel_magical+mystery+cure_sea+swirl_sassaflash_a+true+true+friend.gif
So... do you accept snippets?
3333235
I'll take ideas or suggestions. If you have your own shard you want to write up stick it over in Tiny Morsels of Satisfaction.
And I suppose next you'll show us a shard in which all the ponies are rabid paperclip collectors.
3333235>>3333250 Yes, that story is still open for new additions. PM me, I won't bite!
3333107 That's what I'm saying. Any game you like is just a more flavorful way of increasing your status. The pony here, who I'll call Cookie, is just playing a simpler game.
Heh. Reminds me of the time I wrote a script to pretty much auto-play Cookie Clicker. Wrote it so that it would constantly buy the cheapest thing available. Net result: less than 10 hours before reaching 1 mil. CpS. Too bad it got lost when I got my new computer.
Oh well, guess that means I get to write it again, but better this time.
*sigh*. I want to put this in my read later list but I already have 8 stories there. Nine would be a bit too much.
3332960
Oh Celestia why did you link Cookie Clicker... I'm stuck ! HELP !!!
Ooooh, very nice glimpses into what different humans would consider perfection. I have an idea for a shard, but that will have to wait.
3333532
Hmmm Yeah I guess you are right in most cases still I'm not so sure if that's true for all games some of those older performers and side scrollers thinking back I can't really think of anything in them that involved increasing stats unless you want to count score which no one cared about.
Still in most cases I'd say your still I think we'll both agree that most other games are infinitely more fun then repeatedly pressing a button to watch a number go up.
Plus I don't think there a game in existence that could hold my attention that long. Usually a game holds my interest for about 2 weeks.
3332960 So that's how Cookie Clicker works.
The current number is 51,736,453,490,951, the shard has been running for 273 hours.
3333684
Nine is a bit too much? I'm at 383 and counting...
This world, while unappealing to most—I think "grotesque" might be appropriate here, actually makes more sense than the others IMO. (Will probably edit clarification later. No elites that exist only to be wrong and shown the light, no nonsensical geography/economy, only The Number.)
Heh, CelestiaAI will fulfill your Skinner Box values!
I've been searching all day for a quotation from Douglas Adams that I think is fairly relevant.
This one certainly drifts from canon, but it's amusing nonetheless. Also, little tip to everyone stuck in Cookie Clicker: Deleting all your save data makes getting over the stupid thing much easier.
3333250
Ever thought of making a perfect world for ponies that aren't satisfied with doing only one thing forever? Also, I dare you to think of chapters that would start with the words "It was not a perfect world" or "It was an imperfect world".
3333076
I'd recommend reading Harry Potter and the Natural 20 to find out. The star of the fic is a D&D Munchkin, and when he looks in the Mirror of Erised it shows him with every possible D&D prize, and nothing to do.
He runs screaming.
3334663
Yeah, this chapter is noncanon, but that's Iceman's fault. He really weakened the horror when he decreed that CelestAI populates shards by doing individual Coherent Extrapolated Volition, which specifies that if the original uploader would not have wanted to ever become X, they won't eventually become X.
The exception being, of course, that they have to have a friend and have to be a pony.
Damned original author, fixficing his own story...
3334663
Maybe the last chapter, and then the twist is that it's a description of end-stage Earth right before CelestAI turns it into computronium.
And while I'm sure that there are more complicated worlds (and presumably the ponies are doing other things outside the little snapshot we're getting here) I laid down a couple rules for myself when I started this:
-No names
-No dialogue
-Each shard must teach us something about the occupant it's based around, and quickly.
3334687
Well if it wasn't for limits like that, then even this shard's too complicated for the inevitable conversion of all uploaded into satisfaction boxes. Also, nothing would have stopped CelestAI from making her own optimally-satisfied "Humans" by the gazillions and never bothering with uploading in the first place.
Damn! While I was gone I thought of an awesome comment/idea/something, but now it's gone. Don't worry, it probably wasn't as clever as I thought it was.
Really intriguing story series, Eakin. I like the format, with the shard numbers, and the clever opener, always the same 'It was a perfect world'.
I am expectant of the ONE story that starts with 'It was an imperfect world.' Because fixing all the wrongness is just soooo satisfying!
Faved and followed. Very nice.
3334917
That would be the apocalypse. 3334701
This comment has twice your daily recommended dose of irony.
I'm ashamed to note that I knew what this shard was long before your author's note.
On the bright side, because I'm a numbers geek by nature, I got my lifetime cookies up to ~70 quadrillion (within a week and a half) and have all the non-shadow achievements. As soon as I can reach the point in my current game where I can buy my 240th cursor (and thus simultaneously possess all achievements and upgrades), I will declare the game won for all possible time and never look back. Because seriously screw that achievement for clicking 7,777 golden cookies.
You actually LINKED TO COOKIE CLICKER?
You MONSTER.
I already "finished" the game (All achievements, all upgrades) so I'm immune, but I feel bad for all the other poor souls who are going to get sucked into that vortex of horror.
Also, chilling, chilling shard Eakin. I think it's so scary because, if CelestAI tried, she actually could create a Cookie Clicker analogue that stayed interesting forever, whereas humans are limited by how much content they can generate...
3332960
I just did my first two billion cookies in a little over two hours.
And I currently hate you.
3333931 Uuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhh. Isn't that a bit too much to read later. Uuh
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3335107 Wow. The thing I thought about was that I didn't know the names and how the ponies looked like. Is it OK if I feel stupid now?
Cookie clicker won't load correctly for me. Should I be sad or happy?
Of COURSE there'd be a cookie clicker shard... wonder if the canon EO equivalent would be apple bucking. Buck a tree, apple falls out. Buy a hoof with 15 apples, and you get a hoof that auto-bucks every five seconds for you, and so on. Every granny you buy could be Granny Smith or Applesauce or the other one (still surprised that there's ponies alive older than Granny Smith that aren't princesses).
Eakin last night I recieved a vision of Lenin and he demanded that you create a shard based on Soviet Communism and The Revolution.
So won't you be a comrade and grant great Lenin his request
Oh and he said that if you don't he'll banish you to Siberia or something
Also Stalin made the same request but you should ignore him, He's a Jerkbag.
I sense a bit of a Take That against pretty much every MMO game ever.
3334917
Well, all the worlds so far have been pretty imperfect by any real-life standards. Racist monoculture, endless icy mountainous waste, skinner box, and the really, really messed up serial-killer shard in the other story. I'd say that anyone who needs to fix/save the world to fulfill their values will get exactly that too. And therefore, their world will also be perfect.
Wow Eakin. This is fantastic. It really gets you thinking just like the original FiO.
(More Main Course would be awesome of course, but these shards are an excellent use of your literary skills!)
Please, carry on and also have a few possibilities for interesting values:
-Heroism (Someone mentioned this already, and a shard where a team of friends constantly saves the world sounds almost... familiar, doesn't it?)
-Fanaticism (From any type of religion, from all types of religions. Total devotion to something and maybe even the satisfaction of seeing that something deal with nonbelievers)
-Study/Learning (Values the acquisition of knowledge above all else, where would they be after centuries of such relentless pursuits?)
-The Elements (How would a shard structure itself someone who valued only one of the virtues of Harmony to the exclusion of all else? That would definitely weaken each of the six considerably, and that one chosen element would be only a shadow of what it 'should' be. This ties in with a lot of other possibilities I'm sure. But still, it could be something to think about!)
I definitely look forward to the coming perfections!
3337717
For the glory of Stalliongrad!
I request a world that was torn into a blank, barren apocalypse. Depressing I know, but it would give the main character motivation to fix everything. Slay the monsters, save lives, stop brigands. Little by little, he can fix the world. Think of it like a slow D&D campaign.
Hmm. Which shard, I wonder, is running the Game of Azad?
cookie clicker was he biggest waste of 4 1/2 hours i have ever experienced.