• Member Since 9th Oct, 2013
  • offline last seen Jul 12th, 2023

BlurredTheLines


T

I'm writing this as part of EqD's Nightmare Night fanfic writing contest. I wanted to take part in National Pony Writing Month, but due to the Artists Training Grounds, and irl stuff, that didn't happen, so this'll do (I suppose). My first fanfic, and I'm writing about horror, where has my life gone so wrong? But enough of hearing me ramble, onto the story.

A day like any other in Ponyville, peaceful and calm. Pinkie invites her friends to have a party over at Sugarcube Corner. The merriment soon turns into horror as shorty after the party starts, the group finds themselves in a strange place, the careful planning of a cunning individual. Leaving is simple, the group must overcome a set of challenges, each tailor-made against their character. The consequence for failure: Death. With the odds stacked against them, they must fight for their lives. Who could know these ponies so well to do something like this? No one knows...

Chapters (7)
Comments ( 8 )

Personally, I think you are doing great with the story, keep on writing.

Seems like a good idea for a story. I will definitly be returning.
One thing you should do though is the new line for each speaker. I have seen it a lot in this chapter where multiple speakers are in the same paragraph and it can really offput a reader as it looks ugly and they can easily accidently miss a peice of speech.

3327642 all right, that's something I'll be looking into in the future

revised the first chapter, let me know what you think
EDIT: and chapter two has received the same treatment

I really like how this story is going, and I am excited to see later chapters.

And that's it. Story's done. Tomorrow (or is that later today) I will be doing final revisions before submitting it to the Nightmare Night contest. If there's anything you feel I should change, or add, or remove, please let me know.

Whew, that's the revising done, now with 20% more consistency. Wow, a bit surprised at what all slipped under the cracks when I was first writing this.

EDIT: revised AGAIN. Wow, I'm glad I gave it another look before turning it in. Surprised at how much stuff got passed my attention. :/

I don't like triple-posting, but...

Decided to pop back into Fimfiction for a bit, because I'd decided to write another story, and I notice this story got an influx of views recently. After seeing this, I decided to revise chapter three, since I'd considered it the most poorly written. Wonder what about season four's premier that caused so many views? Who knows? And with that comes my next point: Why does Test of Laughter have so many views? Seriously, it makes up about two-fifths of the story's total views. What did I do right? Horror is not my forte and I have little-to-no experience in writing it. That being said, however, I would like to improve it so that it's at least "good" to some degree. if you could give me some feedback on why that chapter is so popular compared to the others, I would very much appreciate it, as I would love to better myself as a writer.

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