In a time without hope, without law, and without mercy, ten unlikely heroes found the courage to do what was right. A Marvel x DC x MLP/FIM crossover like never before.
Need a little more background on all this. Where did the ponies come from? How did they play into the war? What the hell is with this registration act, which so darkly reflects the evil that was the Superhuman registration act? How do the other major Marvel and DC characters play into it? WILL they play into it?
It has an interesting start, though I have no idea who Johnny B is. (Though I have my suspicions and so help me God if it turns out that was Johnny Blaze I'm reporting you to the highest authority you lunatic. ) But all in all, looks like it could be good.
The Good: It has an interesting premise and world. The fic starts off well and jumps right into the action, forcing us to hang on and hope that answers come. Its also very well written.
The Bad: This is unnecessarily dark. The language, the level of violence, the setting, all seems to indicate that therer is nothing good here, and that's a little to dark. You need someone to come in and brighten things up. Comic relief, or a hero like Captain America, a hero that is downright heroic.
3972479 The 'dark' feeling is intentional. I'm kinda straying from the whole typical 'white knight' feel of both Marvel and DC while going for a whole Nolan/Vertigo/Watchmen feel. It'll be a few more episodes before you meet everyone but I'm glad you're liking it so far.
Actually, I think you said this was a Marvel/DC combined world. That would make it either Earth-7642 (from DC's version of the multiverse) or an unknown world from Marvel's multiverse. Nice.
I suggest you check out the wikipedia articles on Multiverse (DC comics) and Multiverse (Marvel comics). The DC universe has a number for a combined Marvel/DC world, though that world was a pre-Crisis world, so it may no longer exist.
They also had a number for the Amalgam world, but that's a Marvel/DC combination of a different type.
Don't be too worried. You probably will. The fic is still a relatively recent addition to the site, after all. It hasn't even been a full two months yet. You may find more people will discover it given half the chance.
Okay, comments: I want to come right out and say that I like your writing style. Like A LOT. I found no real clear mistakes in the chapter, and I believe that that won't change upon further review and combing. The way you set up the world is a mite confusing, but it is explained at a good pace and is done right. I greatly enjoyed the dialogue and the characters, who seem well thought out and pieced together well, if not entirely sane (yes this is a good thing). In short: Freaking fantastic
Sweet Jesus, that was a good read! I love the level of emotion the characters have, were I in Howard's shoes I'd damn well feel the same! You have my attention, now let's hope nothing shiny comes along for it to play with
Hey Jack, if this isn't a spoiler for some tragic back story where a pony saves Howard's life, can you tell me how Howard got modern opinions sixty years before everyone else? And if it is just because of a pony saving Howard's life or something like that, could you tell me how the rest of his friends got their modern views?
"Johnny narrowed his gaze at the bald, drunken man by the kitchen counter, suckling on the half empty bottle of cheap bourbon like it was the sweet nipple of a two penny whore while he strutted around in his undergarments."
That is a lovely line.
Kudos on your story. I do miss some background info that would allow me to understand this world a bit better.
Umm... well I was reading this to see if I can get any ideas for my superhero well more villain story I'm working on. But ether you and I share the same thoughts or it just weird that Howard is almost like Summer from the story I'm working on. Which I would say, but it would just be a sameless plug. I don't like doing that on other people stories.
I do have a question, I know this is Marvel and DC world together, but how will you do super powers or X-Men, like Thor or Scarlett Witch? Or even villains like Darkseid and Ultron and will you be adding Discord and Tirek?
You don't need to answer these questions because it is spoilers, but I'm just wondering.
Rereading this, my initial critique based on these people having modern opinions was stupid. The 1950s wasn't that long ago; not many people would have opinions like Howard but it isn't crazy for the main characters to have opinions like that.
CONTINUE!
Need a little more background on all this. Where did the ponies come from? How did they play into the war? What the hell is with this registration act, which so darkly reflects the evil that was the Superhuman registration act? How do the other major Marvel and DC characters play into it? WILL they play into it?
It has an interesting start, though I have no idea who Johnny B is. (Though I have my suspicions and so help me God if it turns out that was Johnny Blaze I'm reporting you to the highest authority you lunatic. ) But all in all, looks like it could be good.
I'm honestly surprised this story hasn't been better received so far.
It truly is fantastic, and only gets better from here.
3970474 Oh you'll see as the story progresses. Just treat this like any alternate Marvel world
The Good: It has an interesting premise and world. The fic starts off well and jumps right into the action, forcing us to hang on and hope that answers come. Its also very well written.
The Bad: This is unnecessarily dark. The language, the level of violence, the setting, all seems to indicate that therer is nothing good here, and that's a little to dark. You need someone to come in and brighten things up. Comic relief, or a hero like Captain America, a hero that is downright heroic.
My Final Thought: Not bad, but it needs work.
3972479 The 'dark' feeling is intentional. I'm kinda straying from the whole typical 'white knight' feel of both Marvel and DC while going for a whole Nolan/Vertigo/Watchmen feel. It'll be a few more episodes before you meet everyone but I'm glad you're liking it so far.
3972384
Actually, I think you said this was a Marvel/DC combined world. That would make it either Earth-7642 (from DC's version of the multiverse) or an unknown world from Marvel's multiverse. Nice.
3972599 Yup, this is a Marvel/DC combined world. I for one didn't know there was a multiverse earth by a number.
3973839
I suggest you check out the wikipedia articles on Multiverse (DC comics) and Multiverse (Marvel comics). The DC universe has a number for a combined Marvel/DC world, though that world was a pre-Crisis world, so it may no longer exist.
They also had a number for the Amalgam world, but that's a Marvel/DC combination of a different type.
Yes I'm a complete nerd. So sue me.
3973882 I hope that I could get this story to more Marvel X DC fans though. Oh well.
3973935
Don't be too worried. You probably will. The fic is still a relatively recent addition to the site, after all. It hasn't even been a full two months yet. You may find more people will discover it given half the chance.
3973935
This fic really deserves more attention.
Have you submitted to EqD yet?
3984868 Nope, but I should and I will
Man, this is.... fantastic! I'm pleasantly surprised. So, will we see any modern heroes or it gonna be everyone's grandparents?
3985037 Well, you're gonna have to find out for yourself Don't wanna ruin it for you.
Okay, comments:
I want to come right out and say that I like your writing style.
Like A LOT.
I found no real clear mistakes in the chapter, and I believe that that won't change upon further review and combing. The way you set up the world is a mite confusing, but it is explained at a good pace and is done right. I greatly enjoyed the dialogue and the characters, who seem well thought out and pieced together well, if not entirely sane (yes this is a good thing).
In short:
Freaking fantastic
Sweet Jesus, that was a good read!
I love the level of emotion the characters have, were I in Howard's shoes I'd damn well feel the same!
You have my attention, now let's hope nothing shiny comes along for it to play with
Hey Jack, if this isn't a spoiler for some tragic back story where a pony saves Howard's life, can you tell me how Howard got modern opinions sixty years before everyone else? And if it is just because of a pony saving Howard's life or something like that, could you tell me how the rest of his friends got their modern views?
"Johnny narrowed his gaze at the bald, drunken man by the kitchen counter, suckling on the half empty bottle of cheap bourbon like it was the sweet nipple of a two penny whore while he strutted around in his undergarments."
That is a lovely line.
Kudos on your story.
I do miss some background info that would allow me to understand this world a bit better.
What is Equestria in this world?
Umm... well I was reading this to see if I can get any ideas for my superhero well more villain story I'm working on. But ether you and I share the same thoughts or it just weird that Howard is almost like Summer from the story I'm working on. Which I would say, but it would just be a sameless plug. I don't like doing that on other people stories.
I do have a question, I know this is Marvel and DC world together, but how will you do super powers or X-Men, like Thor or Scarlett Witch? Or even villains like Darkseid and Ultron and will you be adding Discord and Tirek?
You don't need to answer these questions because it is spoilers, but I'm just wondering.
Rereading this, my initial critique based on these people having modern opinions was stupid. The 1950s wasn't that long ago; not many people would have opinions like Howard but it isn't crazy for the main characters to have opinions like that.
3990696
Oh yes, I believe I shall enjoy this immensely
You've been weighed, measured and found wanting, courtesy of me and the Blunt Reviews group.
http://www.fimfiction.net/group/202157/blunt-reviews-group/thread/298330/blunt-review-the-renegades-chapter-i---jackanarchy