The Lightning Seven: The Second Strike *Old story*

by Barracuda cyborg

Rememberance of a forgotten tale

It all started with a test run on a machine that allowed gateways to other worlds; the Lightning Seven had landed in Equestria. Usually known as a land of peace, magic and harmony, it seemed like any dream could come true. That is until those fools had landed there of course. Equestria had seen better days, but things never stay calm around there for long.

The Lightning Seven weren't an average group of mercenaries. Specializing in maintaining a morally gray perspective on life. They may have tried to save their world, but at the same time let the wheels of progress move despite of the damage it could bring. In a world full of mercenary teams, they were one of the more well known ones due to their unorthodox ways of solving issues despite what the traditional way may think the team wouldn't have it any other way.

Scalor, quite literally a fish out of water, was the cybernetic leader of the group. Despite being half machine, he had a high respect for nature that was uncommon. Machinery in their world was seen as beneath the organic rulers so having his reputation be as high as it was becomes a matter of identification of being machine or not.

His long-time friend Outlook flew by night and had been the second member to join the team. Using his military training to help in being unseen from the skies. An expert in the cities underground came a roadrunner named Razor was soon to follow, her beak usually was bigger than her bite; though when it came to knives she would carve a bear out of an ice cube and a toothpick.

The overly paranoid technician Circuit Breaker came up next, and he could feel the danger coming from a mile away. His plans were sometimes too complicated, but for the greater good for the protection of the team.

The squad grew as its needs did for sneaking, Dice Shapukatto soon joined when he heard about the teams exploits from the farthest corners of the world. Though blind, his connections to his families ancestry brought him closer to the world around him.

Finally, Slash and Kooker were recruited simultaneously. Two lizard brothers, they shared an unbreakable brotherly bond and boundless energy that was as inspiring it was useful over distances. Slash brought the power and game changers into battle while Kooker brought the insight to the team as he saw into the spirits of everyone around him.

Together they brought a changing way of ideas of a unthinking and confused world. Scalor and his team might've been a strange bunch, but like a bolt of lightning they struck down and brought a shining light of change.

Equestria was unfortunately the right place at the right time. While traditionally they had traveled their world if it fit their needs or the pay was good, the magical land of ponies decidedly didn't need any help. Which would've been fine if they'd been able to leave. Stranded far from home, they soon were forced to do whatever they could to earn money to find a way back home. Through perilous means and rather insane situations, they found a way and managed to construct a way back, but little did they know something was creeping from behind them.

Jaggor; leader of the mechanical menaces known as the Jagged Nine were one of the most text book definitions of villain any creature had seen. His ever growing genius and crippling insanity had affected many creatures, including himself within his time as a scientist. Despite all of his knowledge and ingenuity he had always blamed the L7 for his shortcomings whether they were even related to the issue or not. Eventually, he would build his own team to try maintain control over the universe the only way he knew how: ruthless conquest.

The would-be inventor and rival built mechanical beasts specifically to combat the Lightning Seven. Tenta-kill and Freeze Frame were cold machines designed to emulate control. One staying behind to think while his tendrils did all his dirty work and the other slowing time to a crawl to compensate for his slow movement, together they spelt trouble. Rampage and Destruct were nothing but muscle; the rhino and hippo bots destroyed whatever they were ordered to, obeying orders without question.

Pin-sar and Clam-borg were built for ensnaring unfortunates dumb enough to fall into a hole; though the rolling clam was rather weak and preferred to be in his indestructible shell more. Meanwhile Slicor and Blade Wing chased them down ready to stick their blades into anything and slice it up like warm butter. All in all, the attempt of winning over a single team were crushed as they were reduced to heaping piles of scrap.

As the journey had finally come to a close, the makeshift portal device activated sucking in the players and pieces back to the strange beings home world: Terra-glacies.

Once a refugee planet, it had evolved into a world far beyond most people's comprehension. Full of bustling cities, traveling bazars, unknown and rare species of interdimensional creatures, amongst other various things of the unknown. To any it was still a dumping ground for unneeded, rejects, losers; but to many it was home, a strange one. Now, the mercenaries find themselves back on their own world with seven uninvited guests. They are in the eye of a thunder storm, and it seems here lightning strikes twice in one place.

Author's Note:

The new title is all credit towards Barrobroadcaster

Comments

[SandStorms]

sending the Lighting squad to Equestria.It was truly an adventure

put a space after period

His pal Out look was the only night

Capitalize look if it is part of name

Razor was the best scout using her sharp feathers and talons she just sliced through things like warm cheese.

I would change it to:

Razor was the best scout. When she used her sharp feathers and talons, she just sliced through things like warm cheese.

or something among those lines...

Circuit Breaker was the only brains of the group making various inventions to assist the team.

I would get rid of the word "only" it isn't needed in the sentence for that usage...

Dice was the stealthiest out of the entire team though blind he is pretty good seeing the world.

I would change the wording to something like...

Dice was the stealthiest out of the entire team though he was blind, he found his way around the world as well as anypony.

At last there is Slash and Kooker, two brothers that have a bond that can never be broken.

Just an opinion... but I would of started this with "Finally" instead of "At last"... just sounds better to me....

Slash was the muscle of the whole gang yet he had a heart of gold.

Get rid of the word "whole" again it isn't really needed....

Their very first encounter was not the best since they fell near prince Blueblood and being the whiny little snob he was he summoned guards to eat them to a pulp. Slash was the only one to go berserk and started to go on an unstoppable rampage of anger. He never was the hateful type, but whenever one of his friends and family members became hurt he just lost it.

Not sure where this came from.... I'm not sure how to fix this, the wording isn't great.... Not sure where this paragraph came from.... If I knew what in the world was happening, then maybe I could fix this....

recreate the device.

What device??? Please explain this....

Eventually the gang got enough money to get the supplies for the device.

Change "Eventually" to something like "After a while" since you used it in the last paragraph, makes story smoother....

their arch enemy Lord Jaggor had shown to wreck the device.

no space in archenemy

Sorry to say but the story needs a lot of work.... Don't get me wrong if the story ran alittle smoother then it might be somthing I could get into.... That's something because I don't normally like stories with humans in them....(side note: add human tag....(side side note:I apologize if there were no humans to begin with but the beginning makes it sound like it...))

Getting bake to the point, your story is very rough.... you have given no info on things (the device, Lord Jagger, ect.) like where they come from or what they are.... its like I've sat down in a room and was given a test on something I was given no info on.... I have the test in front of me and what info is given to me on said test (test=story), and I am told to complete said test.... It cannot be done.... That was my metaphor of the problem with this story....

I'm sorry if that made no sense.... it sounded way better in my head....

From what little info I have... This story was potential!!! You have an interesting mix of characters, you have given some info about them(but best to give more info about them....) Hope this helps a little.....

I'm sorry I don't have time tonight to do other chapters but If I have time in the morning I will try to proof-read the rest....