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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh SHIIIIT!!!
I don't mean to nitpick, but I've noticed a few errors. I'm not going to go into specifics, but there were errors where it seemed like you were typing too fast and hit space at the wrong time, causing spelling errors; there was also the point near the end of this chapter where they were eating, and they were served meals twice. I've noticed things like this throughout the story, but never really thought to bring it up. As I don't know much about how to operate, how you revise and read over your work, I don't have any suggestions, really, except - and excuse me for saying so, but - be a bit more careful. That is, take more time to read through things.
The story is great, but the occasional outstanding error seems to stick out more because of it.It isn't a great detriment to the work as a whole, but it causes issues with immersion into the story. That's my opinion, anyway.
4823050
I thought I fixed all of those in proof reading. Do you mind telling me where you found the errors?
4824955
Alright, here we go, just for the latest chapter, which was lighter than some of the others mind you. I'm not going to go through the whole thing, only the ones that jump out in this chapter.
I'm guessing you were going for "genetics lab," right? Fast typing happens, no biggy, but that particular one stood out to me. Also:
and then shortly thereafter, without any clear indication of a significant change in time:
This was right after the argument about Fluttershy, which happened during the first dinner sequence above. This was the main thing that prompted me to say something, but otherwise the chapter was light on typographical errors. Overall you're lighter than most I read, but instead of being misspelled words your errors tend to be from what appears to be typing too quickly, making them stand out a bit more. And again, there might be other errors in this chapter; I simply skimmed back this time once I got home from work a little while ago, instead of reading carefully like the first time through.
It's interesting how Twilight can say "Ms. Pie" and not have to figure out which of them - Pinkie, Pinkamena, Diane - it is. Convenient.
So Pinkie's wearing her straightjacket and walking around. My first thought was how, but then I remembered she's got some mutations. It'd be interesting to see Twilight's thoughts on a bipedal pony and the mannerisms of one forced to eat and whatnot while in a straightjacket.
4837792 To answer your question about eating with a straight jacket; pretty much like a dog.
4827257
It's distressing to find errors after both I and a friend have proof read it. Thank you for taking the time to help me and read my story. I've fixed those problems and will be doing a full edit of the story sometime later.
4841808
Hate replying on mobile...but yeah, glad I could help.I was raised by a single English teacher, so the stuff just kinda comes naturally after all this time.some people say I'm a bit of a stickler.
Dread and Layne: "Twilight, don't do the thing."
Twilight: "K, I won't do the thing."
*Dread and Layne leaves
Twilight: "YO PINKIE, COME SEE THIS SHIT."
Layne: "GODDAMMIT, MARE!"
Oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god everypony panic, this is not a drill!
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pinkie.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw10370-abandon_thread.gif
m.popkey.co/b07db7/DymEe.gif
I repeat, this is NOT a drill!
"You'll what? Go on a rampage and murder me? Almost like...degenerate vermin kept locked in cells and fighting to the death?"
Well, if you'll excuse me I have a house I have to build.
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