While browsing r/mlp i found an image by johnjoseco (currently the cover image of this story). It sent my brain into an overdrive, imagining what "the last of us" would be like with the cast of "my little pony", not a cross-over per se or a sequel, the actual story of "the last of us", just with ponies.
So after quickly mapping out what characters would fit what ponies and what characters needed oc's, (No kidding: the first words of this document are "o god what am i doing"), i wrote a ~1500 word story corresponding roughly to the first 15 minutes of "the last of us". This was the first chapter of the story you are looking at right now.
Contains massive spoilers about "The last of us" (obviously).
Chapters (1)
As to your autors note: the flashes of light didn't bother me so much. But I guess they turn into flashes of light since you're replacing guns with magic. Guns minus sound is just a flash of light.
Also, poor bloom
for now thas a really good story
but wath is the story of the the orther mane 6 ?
3214996 Thanks. I already have in mind what happens to the rest of the mane six. You'll see in the next parts.
This isn't entirely written badly, however, the biggest issue I have with this is that most of it is a cookie-cutter from the game itself. Even though I know your intention is a pony conversion of TLOU, you still have the liberty to change a few things and not just to make them fit in with the Equestrian setting. If I were you, I'd try to thread in several huge distinctions from the game and if at all possible, the plot. How you can do this though I'm not the one to decide.
Other than that, it seems rather good.
As much as I love TLoU, I find it hard to like this story, primarily because it is just the plot of the game with characters and settings swapped with those relevant to MLP.
This reeks of unoriginality, which will make it hard for anyone to become invested in this story. In my opinion, you might want to change a few things to distance this from the plot of the game, whike keeping the same themes and atmosphere TLoU is known for.
have you tried purple death beam?
you.keep.writing. NOW. i love THe TloU . arGH ITS SO INTERESTHING :3
Wow. That is an excellent adaptation of "The Last of Us" into ponies. Good length, great content, excellent recasting, and wonderfully suspenseful. There were a few grammatical errors (sorry, I can't recall where exactly) but they were the only problem. One was a stray letter some where and the other was... There was one sentence that I just skipped. I think there was a word missing and another one auto-spellchecked into something it wasn't meant to be because the second half of the sentence was gibberish... But really, I've watched some of The Last of Us and you perfectly captured the suspense and dread of the scene. I mean, I knew who was going to buy it based on what ponies corresponded with which The Last of Us character and it still got under my skin. Really well done.
3264744 Thanks for the nice comment. If you can tell me exactly where the grammatical errors are, i'll correct them immediately. Perhaps i'll reread the thing myself later too, to see if i can find them myself.
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While trying to be original is important in cross over like this, it can easily back fire, if it's basically a copy like this fan fic, I well go "why don't I just play the game", but in most of the cases were writer's tried to be original I have gone "the the game did it so much better", so really, it's pretty easy to mess up every way.