We all face hardships in life; some more so than others. Nopony knows this better than those returning from what was the end of The Wars of Sorrow. Fifteen brutal years of fighting have finally borne fruits of peace as harmony is once more restored to the world.
For a certain stallion however, his hardships have only just begun. Forced into servitude by a cruel dragon known solely as Malsvir, Big Macintosh is thrown into a world of pain, sorrow, regret, and above all: murder.
As he sinks ever deeper into the dark pit of evil and torment, a lover and her friend race against the clock to discover what has happened to the stallion they once knew, even as all of Equestria is resilient on bringing him to justice.
Will he be able to be saved? Or will the truth be too much for her, or Equestria, to believe?
All rights for the picture goes to it's respective owner.
The 'Other' tag makes up for the rest of the cast that I can't list the conventional way.
This story has, in 1,550 words, created more drama, questions, and story so far than a lot of stories I've read before. I am very eager to see where this goes and how it develops. The use of italicizing the story did help emphasize the dark nature of itself, whether that was intentional or not. Hope to see more soon.
More plz
You...brilliant bastard. Got me all worked up about the guy seeing his family and then it turns out it's not even Big Mac. You diabolically clever bastard. This is great. I'm glad to see you decided to continue with the story and I'm more than excited to see where it ends up in the future. Had me tearing up with Fluttershy's "We won't be seeing my husband today" bit.
3312022 Why thank you good sir for your compliments and comments thus far. I hope to hear from you more in the future
I don' think you can understand how happy I am to see this story continued. This adds so much to the potential drama for the rest of the upcoming work. This "Mantra of Suffering" and "Lessons of Pain and Endurance" being introduced by Big Mac's captor can add a lot to a Stockholm Syndrome-esque narrative, and I, for one, am excited to delve deeper into this rabbit hole that is the breaking of Big Macintosh. The questions this raises such as "can a soul this damaged be reparable, and if so, how" will be fun to explore and think about. But above all else I hold my breath in anticipation of the chapter where he is reintroduced to his wife. Has she moved on? Will she even recognize him? Good GOD am I excited. Carry on good sir/madam. God speed to your next chapter, for I await it enthusiastically :D :D :D
5847425 My dear friend, thank you so very much for your continuing enthusiasm and support! You help drive me to complete this story, so thank you. I am very glad to hear of your anticipation for what is to come; I will do my best to keep the suspension high, surprises coming, and meet the expectations you have set for me in this endeavor!
5854541 Oh you're very much welcome, mate. I enjoy stories with some semblance of thought and emotional depth to them. And believe me, if there's anything I believe is sub-par in the narrative based on what you've presented thus far, I'll be the first to let you know in a thoughtful and concise manner. If there's anything I can do to help speed up the release date of each new chapter be sure to message me to let me know. Whether that's proofreading, idea suggesting, or just plain moral support or nagging I got you covered.
5855327 Thank ya kindly for looking out for me and the quality of my writing
Also, your offers are appreciated immensely! If any of those scenarios fall upon me, I will most certainly contact you
My friend, I feel very confident and safe in passing this story onto you. You have embraced in such a way that I know that you will give it as much thought and imagination as I would have, and I'm both glad and thankful that you took it up from me. Carry on, my good man- I eagerly await what you have next in store.
I'm back, and here to ramble/rant over your newest, adoption. Very strong and very much dark. I recall reading this story and will say, not as am insult, I surprised to see it being handled by you Gentlecolt. Your body of work ranges from the romantic to the passionate but I will say honestly that you take to blood like fish to water. The three scenes/flashbacks were filled with shocking imagery and very effective and gritty they were. Unique and superbly violent in a sense that can see these dreams vividly, the only suggestion I would have is maybe extend them, give more depth. Describe the pressure it takes to pull a trigger, the sensation of a corded rope soon to be used as noose or the repeated chomps needed to rip open another ponies' throat. Adding such viceral details would not only server to disgust/sate your reader's bloodlust but also convince us of the trauma Big Mac is feeling from such visions, the worst dreams are the ones that feel so real and giving us more time or sensations would help us feel the 'reality' or these dreams and how disturbing they are to Mac. Also I hop you and hooded have discussed the direction this story will take as I have seen adopted stories before that meander and die without either a stong new guiding hand or a guidline provided by the creator. I trust in you ability as writer but just wonder how much of the task you have taken on is within you vision. I can only wait until next time, Darthsylar12, sighning out until brighter days.
5953062 Yeah, I told That Hooded Fella that pretty much all of my experience lay in romantic and erotic stories but I took it up nonetheless. I will take your suggestion completely to heart; I'm not very experienced in the art of writing anything really dark or edgy, but I completely understand why I would want to add more detail to the story. In all my other fics I've tried to make my readers feel whatever it was Fluttershy or Big Macintosh was feeling (love, sadness, hopelessness, etc) because I know people love what they can become emotionally invested in; so if I an create a sense of disgust in a reader they're more likely to become involved in the story.
I went back to reread what was written so far for the story and I am still amazed at the quality and vision you have for the tale.
6850113 I swear to you that I'm not dead yet...
6853359 You're quite alright, patience is a virtue; you do your thing and the reader will eagerly be awaiting
Approved for The Goodfic Bin
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This story has a gripping start, but the haphazard nature of just using the 'other' tag was admittedly a bit off-putting and misleading. It's meant for canon characters, MLP, irl people, or other franchise characters that lack tags. Not the whole cast you can't fit due to the tag limit. This made me think a character who lacked a tag would be a foe or part of the central focus. That doesn't appear to be the case.
I'd certainly like to see this finished one day. It has something going for it.