“Oh geez, it’s here. I can’t believe it’s here already,” Spike said, pacing around his room.
“What’s here, Spike?” Twilight asked him. “You were fidgeting at dinner again. I’m guessing this has something to do with Cotton and Steadclaw?”
“Yes—something thou dost not want to talk about in front of her, considering she is not present once again,” Luna added.
“I have a sneaking suspicion he’s overreacting about something,” Celestia said with a smirk.
“Hush, you,” Spike retorted, Twilight and Luna both suppressing laughter. “Steadclaw asked Cotton out on a date this afternoon, and she said yes.”
“Ah, ‘twas fast,” Luna said. “Uh, We mean, ‘twas rather fast—‘tis still somewhat early in the relationship, is it not?”
“Not really,” Celestia replied. “Well, yes, the relationship is still just beginning, but asking a new special somepony out on an official date isn’t unusual. This is really more Cadance’s territory, but I see no harm in it. As I said, I think Spike’s overreacting.”
“And like I said, hush,” Spike replied, glaring at Celestia. “I don’t have any issue with them going on a date.”
“Then why’re you being so neurotic?” Twilight asked.
Spike couldn’t help grinning. “Again, rich, coming from you.” When Twilight pouted, he continued, “It’s just that… with them taking that step forward, I’m debating whether or not to have the ‘Birds and the Bees’ talk with Cotton.”
Luna cocked a brow. “What doth birds and bees have to do with a date?”
Celestia chuckled. “It’s a colloquialism, Lulu. It was coined a little under two centuries ago.”
“It means to talk with your children about safe… intimate contact,” Twilight answered her with a light blush. Twilight looked up at Spike. “I can’t believe you haven’t had that talk with her already. She’s sixteen years old, what were you thinking?”
“Thou feeleth the need to speak with Cotton about sexual intercourse before her first date?” Luna beamed as she looked up at Spike. “How wonderful! This age hath become so prudish about oscillating the unmentionables!”
“What?” Twilight yelped, blushing.
“Thou knowest—putting condensed milk on the waffle!” Luna responded.
Celestia put a hoof to her mouth. “I think I’m going to need to skip breakfast tomorrow.” Raising a brow, she added, “Where in Equestria did you hear an innuendo like that?”
“We heard it from Cadenza. Why?” Luna replied.
Twilight groaned. “I’m going to have a long talk with my sister-in-law.”
“You know, this really isn’t helping, girls,” Spike interjected. “Should I have the talk with her or not?”
“Indeed! As We’ve heard the common folk say, ‘Better safe than sorry.’ Though knowing thee, thou wilt be waiting at the door to prevent any… intimate courses of action,” Luna said, glancing at Twilight.
“For the first date? You bet your flank I will,” Spike said. “But you’re right. I think I’ll have the talk with her tomorrow after she gets home from school. Hopefully she doesn’t bring friends over.”
“Oooooh! May We assist with the intercourse?” Luna asked.
“No, I’m sure I can handle the intercourse myself… I mean! The talk! With Cotton!” Spike blushed, then mumbled, “You’re going to be the death of me.”
“Very well,” Luna huffed, “though We possess numerous tomes on pleasing races and genders of all kinds, should she wish to borrow them.”
“I’ll keep those books firmly in mind,” Spike responded. He blinked, then blushed. “Why do I keep opening my big mouth?” he mumbled to himself.
“So that’s where my books went, you stole them!” Celestia cried.
Luna snorted. “We did not steal thy books like a common thief.” She sniffed, then added quietly, “We simply borrowed them for an extended period of time.”
“IT’S BEEN OVER ONE THOUSAND YEARS!”
Twilight shook her head. “The late fees will kill you.”
Ж
“Oh my gosh, Daisy. I still can’t believe it—my first real date!” Cotton beamed as the two of them walked down the hall towards the cafeteria. “And it’s only been, like, three days! I didn’t think he’d ask so soon!”
“Honestly, I’m not that surprised,” Daisy responded with a smile. “I’ll bet he’s had a thing for you since the first time he laid eyes on you. He just needed a chance to finally say something.”
“You think so?” Cotton replied. “I mean, the stuff he said about my scars…” She flipped her mane forward to cover her right side. “I guess it would make sense…”
Harmony Wishes and Flarechaser came up alongside Cotton and Daisy from behind.
“What would make sense?”
“If you’re talkin’ about trig, I could use a hoof if you actually understand that junk.”
“Pfft, I wish. I’m asking my Aunt Twilight for help on that,” Cotton said.
“Nah, we were chatting about Steadclaw asking her out,” Daisy replied. “I think Cotton’s a little jittery about it—didn’t think he’d go for it so quick.”
“Are you kidding? Girl, Featherhead’s had his eyes on you from day one,” Flarechaser laughed.
“That’s what I said,” Daisy added.
“Besides, he just asked you to dinner and a movie,” Harmony said. “Nothing fancy. He’s probably kinda jittery about it himself. Doesn’t wanna screw it up.”
“True,” Cotton responded. “He did seem a bit… uncertain when he asked me. But he didn’t even look at me all through History this morning. You don’t think he’s gonna change his mind, do you?”
“Like Tartarus he’d change his mind,” Flarechaser said. “He’s just nervous. He asked out the prettiest filly in school, and she said yes.”
Cotton blushed. “You’re only saying that ‘cause you’re doing the Griffon Culture assignment.”
“Well, if you wanna look at it from that perspective, am I wrong?” Flarechaser asked, grinning.
“All of us heard what he said that afternoon,” Harmony added. “Come on, get that out of your face.” She lit up her horn and moved Cotton’s long mane back to reveal her scarred cheek, just in time for them to enter the cafeteria and see Steadclaw at a table on the far side of the room. Even from the distance, the four of them could all see his face flush as he looked up and laid eyes on Cotton.
“C’mon, let’s get something to eat and go join him; I’m starved,” Daisy said. “Maybe we’ll get a clue into what he’s really thinking.”
“Then again, do you really wanna know?” Flarechaser said.
“What’re you talking about?” Cotton asked.
“Maybe he wants to make a move,” Flarechaser said with a wink.
Cotton cocked a brow. “Huh?”
“Oh come on, girl! You know—a move.” Flarechaser waggled her eyebrows, and Cotton’s entire face went crimson.
“On the first date? I doubt it,” Harmony said.
“I bet you a hundred bits Cotton’s dad’s gonna be waiting for them when she gets home,” Daisy added. “He’ll make sure Steadclaw doesn’t try anything funny. Maybe he’ll let ‘em kiss. On the cheek.” She giggled.
“Well, they’ll have plenty of time for some action during the movie,” Flarechaser said with a grin. “I’ve got the perfect—”
“Girls, can we stop talking about this?” Cotton interrupted them. “We’re not going out until tomorrow.” She turned to Daisy. “Besides, my dad’s already seen us kiss.”
“And he was cool with it?” Harmony asked.
“Yes.” Cotton groaned. “Girls, I really don’t wanna have all these thoughts going through my head right now. Can we just go sit down?”
Flarechaser smirked. “You gonna sit next to him?”
Cotton nodded. “Yeah, why?”
“Maybe he’ll run his talons down your—”
“FLARE!”
Ж
Out in the school’s courtyard, all the students prepared to leave. Daisy, Harmony Wishes, and Flarechaser all watched Cotton as she flapped her wings and hovered in the air for a moment.
“I’ll see you girls on Monday! Have a good weekend!” Cotton called to them. Then she turned to Steadclaw, still on the ground with a flushed complexion. “And I’ll see you tomorrow,” Cotton said with a smile. Steadclaw nodded with his own smile, holding two talons up to his forehead in a salute. Cotton giggled. “Geez, you’re as bad as the hall guards. And you haven’t even eaten my cookies yet.” When Flarechaser put a hoof to her muzzle to suppress a snort, Cotton’s eyes bulged and she immediately flew off towards the castle at top speed.
Ж
I really need to think before I speak. Cotton shook her head as she opened the front door into the main hall. “I’m home!” she called out. Then she glared at the guards. “If any of you salute, so help me, you won’t get another—dessert from me as long as I live!”
“Woah, calm down, sweetie!” Spike trundled around the corner. “Don’t you think that’s some cruel and unusual punishment for these fine gentlecolts? What’s ruffled your feathers?”
Cotton let out a deep sigh, then a light chuckle. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it.” All the guards let out sighs of relief. “I just… accidentally said something embarrassing today, and a salute was involved.”
One of the guards spoke up. “Uh oh. Was it in front of your griffon friend?”
“Uh… yeah.” Cotton’s face flushed.
“Did you use a… euphemism?” another guard asked.
Cotton’s face reddened further. “Y-yes.”
“Yeesh,” a third guard said. “And they’re going on a date tomorrow, too.”
“Awkwarrrrrrrrrd,” came the fourth guard’s voice.
“Colts! You’re not helping!” Spike growled.
All the guards stomped their spears on the floor before simultaneously barking, “Sorry, Sir!”
“I’m not the one you should be apologizing to,” Spike said, crossing his arms.
The guards all turned to Cotton and said, “Sorry, Miss Cotton!”
Cotton sighed. “At ease, gentlecolts. Apology accepted.” After a moment, a small smile crossed her muzzle. “Actually, now that I think about it, it was kinda funny.”
Spike smiled. “I’m glad to see you can recover from embarrassment so quickly, sweetie. If you wouldn’t mind, could you come to my chamber for a minute? I’d like to talk to you about something.”
“Sure, Dad. Just a sec.” A sly smirk crossed Cotton’s muzzle. Addressing the guards, Cotton said, “Oh gentlecolts, I’m thinking about doing some baking tonight. How many of you would like to eat my cookies?”
All four guards’ hooves began rising before each of their faces turned red in turn. Spike’s jaw dropped. “Cotton! Get your flank up to my chamber right now!”
“Yes, Dad,” Cotton giggled, galloping up the stairs.
When she was out of sight, Spike narrowed his eyes at the guards. “Lesson learned? Next time any of you overhear Cotton talking with her boyfriend, you might want to keep your muzzles shut,” he said.
“Lesson learned, Sir!” the guards all said.
As he started up the stairs, Spike added an addendum. “Unless they’re talking about… rolling in the hay. Then you are to inform me immediately. Now—” He swiped two talons across his mouth in a zipping motion.
“Yes, Sir!” the guards chorused as Spike ascended the stairs.
Ж
As he walked down the hallway, Spike thought to himself, Hmm… having the guards tell me when Cotton is thinking about taking the next step? Urgh, maybe I am being neurotic. Well, first things first. He walked through the open door to his chamber and closed it behind him. Walking closer to his desk, he found Cotton staring at a small, oak table he had set up, her eyes bulging and her jaw slack. Upon the table sat two puppets, a banana, and a foil packet.
Cotton slowly turned her head up to her father, a look of horror dawning on her face, and asked, “Daaaaaad? W-what are those for?”
Spike began, “Uhhh… well, you see, Cotton, when two ponies—or a pony and a griffon—love each other very much…”
This is the best innuendo.
Awww, I wanted to hear spike give the sex ed lesson. I'm sure that it would be great!
I can't help but wonder who gave the same talk to Spike... was it Twilight, or Celestia? One would be much more agonisingly detailed than the other, but having the supreme maternal figure telling one about rumpy pumpy wouldn't exactly be without pain...
The only way that end scene can end without Spike and cotton both becoming completely mortified.
Cotton: Dad, stop! Aunt Cadence gave me this talk three years ago!
Spike: Oh thank Faust! ...why didn't she-
Spike turns his head and belches out a scroll.
Spike promptly facepalms, making Cotton giggle.
Also going to give you a follow because I know you're a nice person who doesn't hate on people who show genuine concern and care towards others. As well as for this story.
7620199
7620203
I don't know all of the context behind your interchange with Mesa, so I won't pass a judgement, but if you were getting down-thumbs for showing concern, that's pretty crummy. No hate coming from me, now or later. Thanks for showing your interest and jumping on board!
Please do me a favor, though—don't let a negative interchange from elsewhere cause a debate over here. I'm sorry if your interchange had a poor result, but I'd just like to see reactions to and feedback for the story in the comment section here. Thanks.
Why, WHY YOU GOTTA PUT THAT?! I'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO EAT WAFFLES WITH LECHERA THE SAME EVER AGAIN!!!
7620335 Oh yes of course. I just...needed someone to talk to. Sorry about that. It won't happen again. Because I won't bother with her. If she wants to ignore help then I say let her take the pills.
Nope. From now on if I comment on your work it'll involve the stories and nothing more. I'll try to behave myself, but I warn you - I can be naughty. XD
Damn it, Spike.
I don't think Spike knows an iota about griffon biology.
7620354 Blame 7620495! That one was his idea.
7620357 I can handle... nauuuughty.
derpicdn.net/img/2012/10/24/131320/full.png
7620448 Hey, it had to happen at some point.
7620451 Culture? Yes. Biology? Ehhh, not so much. However, griffons do have the body of a lion—the eagle part is the upper half—so the premise is still similar. It's not like we're dealing with a cloaca here.
7620517 I was hinting at a more child-friendly kind of naughty but if you wanna dive into porn that's fine. I won't judge. Not unless your name was Mandpony in which case I would have mocked your hairstyle. Mandopony needs a shave. Jesus christ he does.
He makes good music but darn it he needs a damn haircut.
Also I love this story. Screw everyone else, my comment is more important because I love this story. Top kek, rofl rofl, yadda yadda yadda. I'm tired so goodnight my good sir/dear madam.
If Spike got the talk from Twilight you'd have a whole lot more lecture 'tools' on site. A whole lt more...
forteen hours later... and that's why Rarity & I couldn't have kids of our own, She grossed us out of romance,Thanks a lot Auntie TWILIGHT! clinical overload as birth control?
7620542 Ha I knew what you meant. Do you not know about Freaky Fred from Courage the Cowardly Dog?
i.ytimg.com/vi/0PlBqTwHr9I/maxresdefault.jpg
Nah, porn/clop ain't my thing. And amusingly enough, I actually did just get a haircut.
Good to hear you're lovin' it! Get a good rest.
When Spike 's giving the bird and the bees to his daughter
To quote "Anon's Pie Adventure" Twilight, "I think you just made me mentally lactose-intolerant!"
7620517 Oh no! It's that barber-stalker from Courage the Cowardly Dog.
7620580 I do know about Freaky Fred. I also know that he's not that freaky. Now if it were my cousin, THAT is freaky. She gives mice and rats wigs and haircuts, she sleeps in a rubber dingy because she's afraid the polar ice caps will melt overnight and flood her house.
7621391 It's a story, dude. About a dragon adopting a little pony as his daughter. It is written for fun, not as a serious topic about dragons adopting ponies. Any debate about it in the comments should stop immediately before cloppers ar born, and grilled cheese sandwiches are thrown out of the window.
7621592
Well, be careful, Unique. Some stories here on Fimfic have some serious undertones in them, and actually are meant to garner these kinds of reactions from the readers.
There was a discussion about bullying way back when the chapter 7621391 commented in was first released—a pretty legitimate one that the original author and myself were both involved in—but like Tatsurou said, there shouldn't have been opposing sides. Both main reactions about realism and responsibility were completely legitimate, and really shouldn't have contradicted each other. He was simply pointing that out, likely in an attempt to prevent any further debate amongst newer readers, which I appreciate. The debate wasn't about the overall concept of the story, it was about one aspect of the story that brought about a larger discussion. It happens sometimes.
Be careful about making (what sounded like) sarcastic remarks to other readers—they have every right to make comments like that. Opinions do matter—we can simply choose to ignore them if we don't have anything constructive to say in return.
I don't want hate flowing around here—this is a story about the love of a father.
7621819 ...
Oh my god this was so funny!
Oh man, eating a mare's cookies! Love it!
"No. She touches his fl- "
"KMCA!"
I'm sorry but Flarechaser is still the most pornographic pony name ever.
Nice chapter, dasher. Is there really anything else to say?
Oh, and the fact that the talk even occurs confirmes that gryffons and ponies can produce offspring. Unless one can carry venerical deceases harmfull to the other and a barirer can make stuff easy...
7623893
All names that belong to new characters that were introduced in chapter 10 were Crystal Moose's idea. I came in after that.
7624020
Thanks! Oh, and also...
Given all the fanon pictures I've seen on DeviantArt of a Rainbow Dash/Gilda child named Rainbow Feather (from more than one artist), I don't think it's too difficult for people to think a pony-griffon hybrid is possible. Since Cotton and Steadclaw are actually of opposite gender, it'd potentially be even moreso. Potentially
7620070 so very much the best.
Ugh, I'm going through trig myself. It's evil.
7624576
I absolutely hated trigonometry when I took it in high school. 'Evil' doesn't even begin to describe how I felt about it then. My math teacher was a freakin' MENSA member, so he treated his students like they were, too. Proofs were the bane of my existence.
Big props to Shahrazad for helping me put that problem-solving process together. I had started with something else, but he helped me look at it from the right angle.
7624322 Now you're talking common interpertation.
Hybrids aren't known to be fertile. Or to respond to a gender. Having a fic continuation of Cotton and Steadclaw's child could be a pretty intresting one by picking up the better quirks to the mix...
7624667 I'm doing it as a part of a manufacturing math class as I try to get a manufacturing certificate, so it's probably not as bad as your class was. But I'm still so confused.
7621592
Going to chime in here, as I am the original author of this fic, before Level Dasher took over for me.
Actually, the story was written as a way of me dealing with the, what at the time we were told was a fact, that my wife and I were never going to be able have children. It was a very serious story for myself, and a lot of the emotions of what being a dad would be like. It was a piece I started to write as a method of mourning.
Since then, my wife and I did manage to have our miracle baby, the need for writing this story waned in my own personal life. It was originally going to have a VERY different ending, with Spike moving along after Cotton's death, which was what I was going through at the time, the feelings of loss. It was, despite being a 'happy story about a dragon adopting a pony', an extremely sad story for me to write. Take even the name, A Daughter and Her Dragon, was named very specifically, referencing the trope A Boy and His X.
This entire story was about mourning, celebrating the joy of life, and moving on when it inevitably ends. I've been pretty open about this when I was originally writing this.
And most of my serious stories explore real world themes, I am quite the fan of using colourful ponies to make people… or even just myself… think about things.
What Level Dasher does with the story from now on is his own prerogative, and I fully support him in this. When I quit writing, I knew I could trust him with what was my baby.
My need to write this story waned after the birth of my daughter. I no longer needed to mourn over this issue, though I have written some other fics that have not been published here to mourn other losses.
7625737 My apologies. I didn't know that the story carried a deeper personal meaning such as that. I consider it a privilege to have been told this by you, sir. And you're not the only one who likes to use ponies to play out things. The difference though is I try to be comical, while you've done it with seriousness.
The next chapters I read will feel a lot stronger now I have this in mind.
If I can ask a question though - why did you pick Spike in particular as the adopting father? Do you just like Spike in general, or did you simply like the idea of Spike being a father figure? No offense taken if you don't feel like answering.
7625760
Part of it was due to a hold over from an older story, which involved Spike as an adult in a relationship with Pinkie Pie, which also included themes of infertility. The story became a bit of a mess and ended up getting cancelled. Spike was mostly a hold over from that story, though you notice in this one I just used Rarity as the pairing (even if it happened pre-story) because most people accept that without much argument, and I didn't have to write Sparity (which I am not a fan of) because it is 70 years in the future.
Not sure how LD will be handling it, but the later parts of my story were going to have a lot of deaths. Once again, it was a story about mourning and moving on, and Spike's dragon longevity allowed me to use him as an avatar of sorts. No other males in the show seem to have any prospects of very long lives (with the exception of Star Swirl, who I think is still around somewhere lost in time... but that theory is for another day!)
7625832 Oh not Starswirl. He's my least favorite character. Idiot causes more trouble than good. Worse than me. But thank you for telling me about the reason for the character choice. That's really interesting and awesome, dude. Can I follow you?
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Yeah, no problem there. I don't do much writing at all anymore, the writing bug has kind of unbitten me.
7626664 Heh. Same here. I prefer animation and art to writing fanfics. Not that I won't give it another try now and then in case I can feel bothered. XD
7626664 Also I only realized your avatar was the Yellow Diamond from Steven Universe. Good show that it from what I've seen. How many episodes now is it?
7625737
I thank you for your blessings, Moose, and based on what I've managed to do so far (gauging from people's reactions), Cotton's in good hands, but I also want readers to know that I'm working off your old outline (however vague it may be) and am fairly frequently looking for your input so I can stay as close to the script as possible. Even the core stuff that wasn't on the outline but ended up in the story stemmed from our brainstorming sessions, so you're still a big part of this. That's why you've got 'Co-Author' status, not just 'Former Author.'
Lunas lewdness knows No bounds!
I haven't commented at all this far reading the story cus I've been enjoying it so much so I have a few general hints to say and then in particular about this chapter.
This story is great not only because of the witty dialogue and amazing storyline, but just the realism in the conversations is awesome. Where a normal fanfic would end a chat between characters you find a way to make it seem less cut-off-ish. I love this story so far and I can't wait to keep reading.
Also this chapter had me laughing my butt off at the innuendos. I literally couldn't breath at "condensed milk into waffles". You sir are a genius! P.S. You do the princesses personalities amazingly
This is going to end poorly.
Phrasing!
i remember that talk or attempt from my parents now mind you this was back in 1975 or about .
i told them stuff they never knew.
people older people 80+ i am surprised they ever had kids with the shit that they ware tough.
you would not believe the crap there parents told them.
They’re having “the Talk”? I thought they would just hand her a book that explained it. That’s what my parents did.
Course, that wouldn’t be as funny. Unless she brought it to school like I did.
9346281
In any story, it is absolutely mandatory for there to be an awkward conversation. No exceptions.
You know, I never really had the talk. I raised animals from the time I could speak and was in charge of breeding when I got old enough. And I knew that so many days later there would be babies. From my perspective it's weird how uncomfortable parents can be about it. Eh, but either way. Nice story.
My mom breathed a sigh of relief when she heard sex education class. Oh lord, Don have to give the talk.
I can understand the 'condensed milk' part of that euphemism, but who the fuck ever thought of a waffle!?! Perhaps 'cheese sauce on a sandwich' or 'mayo on a taco', but a waffle? That makes no sense to me.
9585034
Well, it is the second most important meal of the day.