1 small flaw with the predator and 2 observations that I hope are in the next chapters 1. Predators don't kill the sick unless they attack them. A example of this is in avp 1 where weyland yutani was dying from (was it heart or lung cancer) anyway he just passed weyland until weyland attacked scar. Rainbow did Attack the predator so I cant decide whether she should of been killed or not.
2. Some Humans in the comics join the predators if they prove them self. If this happens to rainbow I doubt due to it being so soon
3. When Aliens impregnate someone the eggs adapt to the host and when a xenomorph is born (chest buster and eventually drone or warrior) They will look and possibly act like the host. For example if a pred alien has 4 mandibles and can impregnate through his mouth. A predalien is also extremely stronger then a regular alien and has dreadlocks like a predator. A runner is the result of a impregnated dog, and so on.
Okay im done stating facts about the avp universe for this chapter.
They kept running towards the exit with Breaker, who was surrounded by a pink aura, in tow his breathing was steady but constricted as though he was forced to breathe and was trying to resist the urge Twilight also noticed a lump in his throat and it was moving.
you could have chopped that up into at least three sentences.
"the kept running towards the exit with breaker, who was being held up by twilight's magical aura. his breathing was steady, but constricted, as though he was being forced to breathe. twilight, in a passing glance, noticed a lump in his throat that was slowly moving downwards."
i really don't want to finish reading this, because i hate grammatical mistakes like that. and believe me, this chapter a lot.
This story was great. Can't wait to see what happens!
3186405 So up until now what has been your favorite part.
can't wait to read more
3207502 What is your favorite moment so far?
3207812 Since u asked my fave part of the story is when the predator is trying to stop the ship from falling~shyZilla
MY FAVE PART WAS WHEN THE ALIEN USES IT'S TAIL ON PONIES~ SLENDY
Slendy thats not really a part~ shyZilla
3365578 It may become a part though zilla.
1 small flaw with the predator and 2 observations that I hope are in the next chapters
1. Predators don't kill the sick unless they attack them. A example of this is in avp 1 where weyland yutani was dying from (was it heart or lung cancer) anyway he just passed weyland until weyland attacked scar. Rainbow did Attack the predator so I cant decide whether she should of been killed or not.
2. Some Humans in the comics join the predators if they prove them self. If this happens to rainbow I doubt due to it being so soon
3. When Aliens impregnate someone the eggs adapt to the host and when a xenomorph is born (chest buster and eventually drone or warrior) They will look and possibly act like the host. For example if a pred alien has 4 mandibles and can impregnate through his mouth. A predalien is also extremely stronger then a regular alien and has dreadlocks like a predator. A runner is the result of a impregnated dog, and so on.
Okay im done stating facts about the avp universe for this chapter.
run on sentences. they are evil.
instead of:
you could have chopped that up into at least three sentences.
"the kept running towards the exit with breaker, who was being held up by twilight's magical aura. his breathing was steady, but constricted, as though he was being forced to breathe. twilight, in a passing glance, noticed a lump in his throat that was slowly moving downwards."
i really don't want to finish reading this, because i hate grammatical mistakes like that. and believe me, this chapter a lot.
Your doing great!
I love it when the Predator allies with other creatures (That was the best part of AVP)
THE PREDALIEN IS BORN AGAIN!!!
OMG Predaliens?!