Well, what do you know? Apparently they didn't start to study the deepest geological records on this planet and the evolution theory its pretty new for them. They must be a younger civilization than I thought. Hm... that would explain the castles for sure... at least we were talking about something I actually know! Yes!
It was a fun evening for me as we spent the rest of the time before dinner just talking about eras long time past. Young Twilight was fascinated by the idea of dinosaurs. It seemed that my son also had a fine evening for what I heard. What's with boys and beating each other with sticks anyway? Oh well, at least seems that all the young ones had a good time, but for all the pleasures and relaxing atmosphere this castle has, I think I'll truly start my vacation tomorrow. Ah, those volcanoes at the southern hemisphere looked like they were active from orbit and even with that they were filled with lifeforms. I wonder who-
"Everything alright, Gaia?" asked Celestia... Celestia? Oh! It seems that we are in the dining room again!
"Oh, sorry. My mind was elsewhere. What were you saying?" I politely asked her as I took a seat next to her. Oh dear, sometimes I'm worse than my son, I swear...
"We were just getting a bit worried about you. Twilight told us that you went silent after talking with some guards while walking here and you didn't seem to react to anything" Celestia explained to me. I love the politeness of this one. I wish I had a daughter like her... Well, there's an interesting thought... Oh, right! Don't get too distracted again!
"Ah well, I was just thinking about actually starting my vacation and where to go. Its a whole new world after all" I told them with a small smile while looking around the food served to us. Ah, this smells strong and salty. What is it? ...Cheese? From what animal is this made...? Goats? I need to know how they make this wonderful thing.
"Don't you like it here? I didn't do something wrong, right?" asked a sad Twilight while putting a very adorable pout on her face. Aww, I could just hug her right now!
"Don't worry, young Twilight. I've been having a great time here, but I want to experience all what I can from the wildest places on your world. I can't experience them from the comfort of a luxurious bed, right? I want to feel the breeze and blades of grass on my fur again... or the rocks of a mountain..." I told them while picking some of that delightful 'cheese' "...or just swimming down to the ocean floor. You know... those things"
"While it would be amusing to watch, I don't think a big mare like yourself should be doing such activities. Its most unbecoming of royalty" said Luna from her corner, getting a nasty look from my son. Did something happen after the play battle I was told about?
"Well its my time, so I will spend it as I see fit" I told her while munching on the crunchy slice of... Wait, the cheese wasn't... Oh dear... Don't look guilty now...
"Auntie, I think everypony needs to enjoy what they like most and you can't apply the same rules to somepony as... special as Gaia" told Cadance with a smile on her face. Luna didn't seem to agree with her though...
"Mother can do as she pleases. She is an adult capable of making sensible decisions by herself... usually" my son said while trying to look all innocent. That cheeky boy. One uprooted forest and no one lets you live it up. It's not like I didn't make grow one later...
"You should agree with me. You should know that-" Luna started to explain, but she lost me when the bouncy Pinkie tried to catch my attention. Suffice to say, she managed to do so.
"Psst... Not a princess Gaia..." She said as I giggled. This one... really...
"What, pink pinky Pinkie?" I told her. Ha! She giggled! Who is the silly mare now?
... both of us?
"Want to see something funny?"
"Of course. What is it?"
"Watch this" she said while pulling something blue from her mane... wait... is that?
"Party away!" she yelled as she fired her small cannon, projecting confetti and what looked like cake batter on everyone. I couldn't help but laugh loudly at that.
"Pinkie! Honestly, would it kill you to be serious just once?" asked Twilight while everyone was silent. Well everyone except me.
"But Gaia was starting to make frowny faces and this was supposed to be a dinner for her!" she explained to her purple friend, while Celestia started to giggle.
"That is true. We were turning this meal into something more suitable for the throne room" she said while cleaning herself with a calm smile "We should enjoy ourselves, rest and tomorrow we will see what happens"
"But Celly-"
"Luna, please"
"Urgh, fine!"
Oh, that pout is killing me! By the stars, how can these ponies be so cute?
"HA!" said Prometheus, enjoying a small victory... before I threw him a ball of cheese that stuck on his horn. Score!
"Be a good boy and don't disrespect the ones who magnanimously offered their house and food" I told him sternly with a small smirk on my face. Not that he could see me from the cheese stuck on his horn anyway.
"Yes, mother. It will not happen again" That's right. I hope so. For your own good, young one.
...Is Luna making faces at him? And now silently mocking him? Yes she is!
"That goes for you as well, girl! Would you mind to have some manners? Its most uncouth to mock others so openly. At least try to hide it!" I told her. HA! That face! And on both of them! Where is a camera when you need it? Oh, here is one. ...and... Click!
"Thanks, young Pinkie" I told her while giving her the camera.
"I'll give you a copy. Or twenty" she happily said.
"I want a big one too"
"Give me that camera!" both Prometheus and Luna yelled as they jumped towards the pink fluffy pony. It was a futile effort.
"You have to catch me first!" she replied while giggling and somehow quickly pronking away.
"Run, run like the wind!" I cheered her as they all got lost in the hallways.
I bet the pink one wins.
After the dinner shenanigans everyone called it a day and went to their bedchambers, but not all with a restful sleep in mind.
Celestia looked out of her window, getting a nice view of the first lights blooming in Canterlot as Luna's moon slowly took its place in the sky. She sat on the floor while sighing, drinking in the views of the city to relax herself after the long day.
"Celestia... Is everything alright?" asked the voice of the youngest princess. Celestia turned around, seeing her former student entering her bedroom. "I'm sorry, you weren't replying to my calls and since you gave me permission to enter even if-"
"Don't worry, Twilight Sparkle. It's alright, and I'm fine. Its just that it seems that Gaia is going to complicate things for us sooner than I thought"
"How so?" asked Twilight while sitting next to Celestia.
"While she doesn't see herself as a princess, everypony in the world is very... traditional about an alicorn and its status within society. Taking that into account we must assume that there will be... let's say a little bit of chaos where she goes, even with the best of her intentions"
"I understand" replied Twilight before musing silently. "Maybe we should give her a tour, then?" Twilight said with a wide smile, making Celestia smile too.
"Sounds like you have an idea. What did you have in mind?"
"We can schedule a grand tour to show her the natural wonders of the world, with some space of course. For what I see Gaia has her own ideas already and we must act thinking that she has a route of her own. We can mix both, and even discover some places that we've never been before! Isn't that exciting?"
"It sounds wonderful, Twilight. I'm glad to have you as a fellow princess" Celestia said before nuzzling Twilight in a motherly fashion.
"Just trying my best. The ponies that will be on the expedition will need to take shots for possible illnesses that we can get during it. We don't want anypony to catch the griffon variant of the feather flu, right?" asked Twilight as she took notes just after pulling out a scroll and an inked quill from somewhere.
"That's a good point, Twilight. Is Gaia immunized to our viruses and bacteria?" asked Celestia out loud, making Twilight drop her quill.
"Oh gosh, that is so true! We must make a full medical exam to have a baseline and check that she's alright before leaving... not that I don't trust Prince Prometheus' technology but..."
"I think I feel the same. I'll sleep better knowing that my own physician makes a check-up on everypony before leaving"
"You are not coming?"
"Ah, I think Luna will enjoy more to know more about the world. She never traveled outside Equestria after her banishment and I think it will do her great good to... dirty her hooves a bit and be with the populace" Celestia said with a mysterious smile on her face.
"Oh, that's true! We can strengthen our friendship with this trip! Oh, I should invite Pinkie Pie too, since she seems to be friends with Gaia already. Maybe Cadance and Shining? Oh, there are so many ponies I want to come but..." Twilight said before stopping suddenly in mid-rant "How will we travel around? I didn't think of that!"
"Relax, my little pony. I'm sure you can use one of the airships that we use in diplomatic travels. Now breathe, just like Cadance told you" Celestia said and Twilight did so, her stress level getting again into acceptable levels.
"You're right, I didn't think about that. Maybe..."
"Maybe you should finish this first checklist and then go to bed and work on it tomorrow" suggested Celestia. Twilight tried to retort but a yawn escaped her before even muttering a word.
"I guess I'm more tired than I thought. Between managing my little planet and trying to make our guests comfortable I forgot my own comfort. Good night, Celestia" said Twilight before nuzzling her former teacher.
"Sweet dreams, my little pony" replied the princess while nuzzling the small princess back.
Celestia looked back to the city, now the night well settled and the light of the moon shining upon the land. She wore a small and relaxed smile on her face.
"Maybe it will be easier than I thought. Bless the little things in life, I suppose..."
She was going to sleep herself when she saw some shadows running around the gardens. With her curiosity sparked, she pulled out some binoculars she used for the opera and focused on the shadowy figures. She laughed to herself silly when she spotted two tired alicorns almost dragging themselves while following a peppy pink pony that was still as fresh as if it was morning.
This story updated?
Yes!
There are grammar mistakes in nearly every sentence for this chapter.
Love this.
7617838 I'm sorry to hear that. I do my best, but if you want you can send me a PM with the correct way of writing the ones you see that are bad written? That way I can fix them.
7617829 I apologize for my tardiness, but I've been a bit tired to write these past months. Luckily I got a tan from working under the sun all the summer!
ITS ALIVE AND ITS GOOD.
Still the same quality as ever, haha.
What's this? A grand expedition beyond Equestira?
7617861 just be happy its a SUN tan not them TANNING your hide.
Always bet on Pinkie.
7617907 That was the original idea in fact! A first contact, meeting with the cast and then the voyage! I'll try to keep it as canon as I can, with my own spins thrown in it probably and winging it for a good part of it (Its never explored any kind of natural wonders, except maybe the Rainbow Falls?) but I hope you all enjoy the ride that its about to start... just after a quick medical checkup of course
7617910 It isn't a full body than though, so I hate to think how I'll look next time I go to the beach . Remember people: watch for the sun while working wearing t-shirts.
I keep expecting that they will eventually push Gaia too hard and then all hell will just break loose. The story seems to keep hinting at it.
There are a few typos here and there. Do you want me to help edit your work? I'm glad to help you out if you want.
Gaia: 1 Prometheus: 0
7618068
Psh. She's his mom. I'm pretty sure her score is higher than her age.
7618171 I meant for that chapter
Oh, look. The irritation is back.
I know I'm harping on him, but I honestly can't figure out why I dislike him in all but the opening chapter. It's not like I'm a fanatic Luna fan and hate the thought of an OC with romantic interest in her, it's just that he irritates me to the point I take a little less joy in reading the fic as a whole.
So, now that I've gotten here, I'll say one thing that's been bugging me. A lot.
Your dialogue isn't punctuated properly. Almost half of it.
So, the problem I've noticed is that your not adding commas to dialogue where they're needed. Basically, you never end a dialogue that has "he/she/I/character/ said with a comma. For instance, the first quote I used above should be like this:
It's been bugging me the entire time I've been reading the story, and at first I thought it was just a mistake but I've noticed this happen in every single chapter so far and, hate to be the grammar nazi here, but that's grammatically incorrect.
Aside from that, overall I've found this enjoyable (outside of Prometheus for reasons I still can't quantify) and Gaia is surprisingly adorable and potentially terrifying. That being said, there are certain things that she hasn't done that honestly have surprised me.
For instance, she mentioned she's a warden of her world and expected someone like her to be on this world. Who hasn't shown up. At all. At first I was thinking Discord might fit this rule if you went for the eons old avatar of Chaos who witnessed the rise and fall of everything, but Discord appears to be quite a bit younger than her and just doesn't fit the role. So, I'm left wondering why she's not more curious that this world's warden hasn't shown up to at least say hello. I know she thought Celestia might be this world's warden early on, but Celestia explained her role and, while somewhat similar, isn't a mirror to Gaia's own. So, in short I was expecting at least a little curiosity here or an explanation on Gaia's part-maybe this world's warden is just slumbering and didn't notice her arrival. Something to explain this away.
Secondly, there's the fact that ponies look so damn close to her. She's all about evolution and is from an utterly foreign world to Equestria with starfish aliens. I would think she'd be a bit more curious about this, but so far little has actually been done or even hinted at.
Third, and this one is related to Celestia moreso than Gaia. Earlier, Gaia playfully mocks/explains the movement of the sun in a typical solar system and more or less dismisses Celestia, who is left shaken for reasons I honestly don't know. Was Celestia shaken and thought she wasn't actually raising the sun? If that's the case, how the hell would Celestia not notice the sun rising on its own in over a thousand years of life. Was she just shocked at the thought of a system that doesn't work like Equestria's?
Honestly, this last one was confusing, mostly for Celestia's part. Gaia I just got the feeling is so used to being right about things that, even when in an utterly foreign setting with things she's never seen before (all magic), she still casually dismisses things she deems as impossible.
Overall, still enjoying this thoroughly, but this fic has some issues.
Nice chapter, good work.
7618210 First of all, I'm sad to hear that you dislike Prometheus so much, but I guess I can't cater to everyone, and that's alright. I just hope it doesn't sour the rest of the story for you.
About the grammar issue with the commas... I just didn't know it, and no one told me before. I'm not native and never ever in my English class the teachers told me about something like this, probably because the level of English that we're being taught here in Spain is pretty low, and most of what I know I learnt it by myself. I'll do it the right way for the next chapter onwards (and fix the previous ones when I have the time). Thank you for your input, it really helps a lot to learn what I do wrong.
The Warden issue its simple: Gaia doesn't really care if the planet has one or not, more than a curiosity and just a matter of politeness since she's a visitor. I've been trying to be a bit dodgy with it but the planet itself isn't as old as Gaia thinks, and if I don't change it when the time comes, it will be all explained. Its just not relevant for the story at this point.
About the evolution issue, its a bit of 'Gaia doesn't really care' and the novelty of the ponies themselves. She has now a species she can identify herself with, and its just enough for her. She doesn't have enough info about the life on the planet to make any assumptions either so, being as carefree as she is, she's just waiting the right moment to think about it. Why stress over something she doesn't really know? Its not relevant for her right now, and so does for the story.
About Celestia being shaken by Gaia's revelations about gravity... it was just that. For Celestia, that lived on a fixed, geocentric system, the thought of a whole world falling towards a gargantuan star that is the sun at absurd speeds BUT that said world didn't fall because it was moving so fast that it managed an orbit was... terrifying at many many levels. From a world that didn't move and was all orderly and controlled to one that spun on itself and moved around a star at speeds that usually are not meant to be thought about... all of it by itself? That's pretty rough. Its a matter of Chaos VS Order, and Equestria is shown to be a skewed harmony that heavily leans on a VERY orderly world, with all nature being controlled by ponies (as far as we know)
And that's all. I'm glad that you liked the story besides a character and that it tickled you so that you wanted to make such a large comment. I love when people come with theories, and discuss them if I can. Plus, thanks again for the grammar tip. I honestly didn't know that the commas at the end of phrases on dialogues was a thing. And thank you for your time, and I hope you keep enjoying the story as it goes
7618027 I would love to have anyone to check my work for mistakes. I usually write here and I edit "by eye" as it were, but I suppose that it will be better to do the writing on Google Docs or something? I'm not used to show my raw works to anyone, just a couple of friends maybe
7618271 I do Google Docs. I been helping out someone else with editing. I would gladly help just pm your email to me. I we'll send you my email to you in a moment.
7618267 Thanks for the reply. I wish I could explain why Prometheus annoys me so, but sadly I cannot. Fortunately, the rest of the story is quite enjoyable as it is, and I'm happy to be along for the ride.
That being said, on the dialogue punctuation, it can be a little tricky, and the use of commas only applies with he/she said and when the dialogue itself doesn't end with an exclamation or question mark.
An example:
This is perfectly fine as it is and doesn't require a comma.
This, on the other hand, requires a comma.
Just thought I'd throw a few more examples out there.
Anyway, can't wait for the next chapter-really loving this story so far.
I am enjoying this story and am looking forward to more.
I'm pretty darn happy with this update. Let's see what wonders the rest of Equestria's world has to offer.
7617838 Well that's fine and all, but if it bothers you that much then be his editor or something.
You can run, but you can never catch the elusive Pinkie Pie!
That being said, I can't wait to see how the trip will be like.
So is Twilight going to be taking her planet with her? Kind of awkward to lug around a shoe box everywhere.
I'm also kind of surprised that everyone just shrugged off how Gaia mentions going to the bottom of the ocean so casually.
Is Prometheus going with them? If so... How will he keep up with his mother? In fact how will everyone else keep up with Gaia?
Will they be able to keep up with Gaia?
...I wonder how much of a curb stomp it would be if Gaia went Mama Bear on something actually hurting Prometheus.
Will the changelings make a reappearance?
I have so many questions... and you make me wait for the next chapter.
7619232 That's not necessarily the only reaction. For instance, she is so far above general assault and given her personality she's liable to scold them or reason with them or just be motherly and try and find out why they're doing this. I mean, given her capabilities (which I hadn't fully known at the time of my previous comment) then she could easily pin Final form Tirek down and spank him-granted I think she'd be surprised a being of his power even existed, but she could deal with him.
Hell, if Chrysalis had actually captured her and tried to get her on her side and Gaia eventually got what Chrysalis' intentions were, I can almost picture her just going along for the ride and reasoning things out with Chrysalis and cutting off the conflict without any violence. (Granted, if they were like the Changelings of my setting who are more akin to parasites than predators on sapient species, I think she'd be vaguely disturbed/fascinated, but I digress)
For someone of her power, there's more than just violence to deal with a rampaging "youngster", and that's what I'm more interested in than her just squishing whatever villain is bothering her.
That being said, if encountered a hostile being even remotely in her league that she couldn't talk down, well all life on Equestria is gone unless she immediately takes the conflict into space.
7619260
The squishing was figurative, not literal, but I think it pretty much reflects how much of a realistic threat anything ponyland has ever seen could possibly ever be to her. It's why this story keeps making me feel a bit apprehensive about the possibility of the characters actually annoying her into action - with the level of power involved, she could flatten the better part of the country without really exerting herself, nevermind realizing or caring about the sheer damage she's doing. Destroying entire stretches of landscape is all in a day's work for what you need to do to achieve the actual objective of that game. I keep wanting to shout at them to for God's sake tread softly already around the physical goddess.
7617829 I second that. YES!!
I had already lost hope. Thank you so much
WOO! Go useful skills attainment!
Also you seem to write better when tired.
i live for the promethius luna moments
but i still cant tell if they are acting like brother and sister or awkward teens... oh well! time will tell.
I love your stories, keep on writing these awesome chapters
Good to see this is still going. But honestly, you aren't pairing Luna and Prometheus up, are you? She basically latched onto him when she saw he was fluffy, which makes it seem forced as hell. Not to mention juat up and grabbing a foreign alicorn like that seems rather out of character for Luna, not to mention why Prometheus has raised no objections to it.
Oh I didn't notice, but, yes! An update! Now you're off my "F**king Update it Already" list!
7690026 who is strangling you?
7690489
The people who can't handle my DISMAYing skills in puns.
random guy: WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
7693441 what an punny yolk just eggcelent
Sir, you have somehow obtained my monthly shipment of 'YUS'.
Have mercy and leave some for me
7694535 Oh no! Its too unBEARable I cant SEAL with it! The punnery is ICE COLD
everyone: WWWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!
8112008 Mr InkWell... remember the last time you done that and Hywther updates it a few weeks after that and didn't he mentioned he is busy with learning about something? In time, this shall be updated.
8154011 Believe it or not, I am hoping that this story would be resurrected again. I don't like when I have to declare a story I like dead. But who knows, if we're lucky, we might be in for another miracle.
Honestly i would love to see some serious stuff like luna and prometheus actually working out a relationship and maybe how the two worlds share and work together. But as background stuff with the focus still being on Gaia. Most stories would focus on the serious stuff and it would be a nice subversion
My
Cadance
remove
While in the fandom Luna usually addresses Celestia as Tia, the nickname used canonically is Celly
Cadance
think
Cadance
^^^^
Cadence / Cadance is non issue.
I personally preffer Cadence.
Some small typos:
- is pretty new
- it's
She probably will