Spike wiped his eye from a tear as he stopped hugging Applebloom.
"Will ya be okay Spike?" She asked.
"Yeah, I'm a tough dragon. I'll make it through." Spike said, Applebloom still gave him a concerned look.
"Are ya sure?"
"Yeah, yeah." He said.
"Alright-but ya know ah'm not to far away." She said, giving him a quick hug before running to her apple stand.
After a while and as Spike had finished cleaning the table, he heard a knock on the door. He opened it to see Big Mac standing there.
"Hey Big Mac, what are you doin' here."
Big Mac just signalled him to follow him. As he turned and left, Spike did just that. He followed until they arrived at a building a music note on it, along with a sign saying 'intruders will be blown away by a bass cannon'. Big Mac entered first followed by Spike.
Inside, Spike saw a bunch of ponies, some he had already seen today. There was Lyra, Bonbon, Mayor Mare, Mr and Mrs.Cake, Dizty Doo, and Vinyl Scratch.
"So why'd you call us here Big Mac?" Bonbon asked.
"Well ah saw Spike here cryin' his eyes out after mah sister and her friends left. Ah wanted to know why he was. And as he has helped y'all one way or another, ya might wanna know to." He said as he moved away to reveal a blushing Spike.
"Why'd you say I was crying?" Spike asked Big Mac.
"Because you were." He said with a smile.
"Wait, why were you crying?" Lyra asked.
"Because after doing everything they ask me to, they give me more work." Spike said.
"Who?" Dizty asked.
"The girls! You know, the six mares who usually get into trouble." Spike said, a collective group of "ahh's" was heard from them.
"Well, we all need to do jobs. But don't worry, you also get time to spend with your friends." Mayor Mare said.
"But I don't get time to hang out with friends." Spike said.
"Sorry, what!?" Mayor Mare asked.
"Yeah, I'm always given work by Twilight or the others. I've never even hanged out with colts my age." Spike said.
"Well, at least you get paid right?" Vinyl Scratch said.
"No, actually I don't."
"Seriously?"
"Yeah."
"But, I've seen you get some bits from ponies around town for the odd jobs you do. Surely you have some bits." Mayor Mare said.
"Actually, every time I come home. Twilight takes my bits and says she's 'saving for when she won't be around'." Spike said, getting a bit angry.
" but ah've nearly always see her leave the house all the time." Big Mac said.
"Yeah, but you know something else. She says she's thinking I should start paying rent.
"But your only a kid!" Mr.Cake said.
"I know, that's what I said, but she just said 'you need to know how to be responsible' ." Spike said trying his best to mimic Twilight.
"Well, do you at least get breaks?" Mrs.Cake said.
"I try, but the only time it seems I can is when I go to sleep."
"Hey wait, didn't you spend that one day trying to help Applejack?" Bonbon said.
"Yeah, as I was in the Everfree. I thought about actually going to make some new friends. But then Those Timberwolves came after me." Spike said.
"So what happened after that?"
"They tried to get me to stop helping her all the time by faking a timberwolf, attack." Spike said.
"So, you help them and dedicate your entire time to help her. And they s
Try to stop you? And yet now they still give you work?" Vinyl asked.
"Yeah, basically." Spike said.
"What the heck?" She just said.
"Have you at least been gone on some of there adventures?" Mrs.Cake asked.
"Actually, I was left behind from the young fliers completion, Twilight and Pinkie's birthday parties. And I think some other stuff, I can't remember." Spike said.
"Really?why?" Dizty asked.
"Because Twilight was studying up late and I had to clean up the mess." Spike said.
"Well, you at least listen to music and play games right?" Vinyl asked.
"No, Twilight thinks that music will distract me from my chores."
"Really, because when I work, I listen to music. And it actually helps me a bit." Lyra said.
"Yeah, I tried to compromise but she just kept on saying no." Spike said.
"Video games?"
"I don't know any games because I never get any free time. In fact, you know that time I helped Applejack? I asked Twilight to become her servant, she was to busy in a book to care about what I said. But I learned that all I had to do was slightly move some ink and she would snap out of it."
"Why is it that the Ink was more important than, oh I don't know. A Dragon!" Lyra said.
"I don't know." Spike said.
"And wait, you saved the crystal empire didn't you!?" Mr.Cake said.
"Yep."
"Didn't ya get anything?" Big Mac said.
"No, they broke out into a song about Twilight's passed test." Spike said.
"Where's my bass cannon!?" Vinyl scratch yelled.
"Everypony, I have a preposition!" Mayor Mare said. Calming them down
"How about we trick those six that Spike has gone away, while we actually hid Him from them as he actually has fun."
"What do you mean?" Spike asked.
"Well, what I mean is. It's time for you to be a kid, will give you some bits and let you actually get some friends and have fun!" Everypony in the room seemed to agree and nodded.
"Really!? So-"
"You won't have to do any chores, or any ridiculous requests. Just to go out there, make friends and have fun." Mayor Mare said.
"But what about the Cutie Mark Crusaders?"
"Ah'll tell them about it, make 'em Pinkie Promise on it." Big Mac said.
"What will I tell Twilight?" Spike said.
"Royal business or something in Canterlot." Vinyl Scratch.
"Ok, but where will I stay?" He asked.
"You can stay with us, we have a guest room." Lyra said. Bonbon nodded.
"Alright. Oh, and Mayor Mare? Twilight might come around to make sure I'm not in the taken show.-"
"-you won't be cut out, no matter what. I'll just tell her I did." She said.
"Thank you. All of you." Spike said smiling. The others nodded.
"Well drop off the bits tomorrow." Mayor Mare said, Lyra and Bonbon nodded.
"Alright, well. I think it's time we all head home." Mrs.Cake said. Everypony nodded as they started to leave. Except Vinyl Scratch since it was her home.
Spike, Lyra and Bonbon quickly headed over to the library. Spike rushed in, grabbed a piece of paper, and quill and began to write.
Dear Twilight
I have been called to do some royal business in Canterlot. I am unsure as to when I will return.
From Spike the dragon.
As he finished, he put it on the desk and ran out. He saw Lyra and Bonbon waiting for him, he nodded as the three rushed away from the Library.
They soon arrived at the house as they opened the door. Spike walked in first followed by Lyra then Bonbon.
"Come on Spike, I'll show you to your room." Lyra said walking up the stairs, followed by Spike.
His room was the second door on the right, it seemed like a simp,e room, bed, bedside table, desk and a drawer.
"Well, this is your room." She then noticed the moon was rising.
"If you want to start tomorrow early, you'd better get into bed." Lyra said, Spike nodded in understanding as he flopped onto the bed.
"Goodnight Spike." Lyra said as she walked out. Spike didn't even get under the covers before he fell asleep. And in a long time, with a smile.
Oh, I had to instantly favorite this. I really am disappointed in how the Mane Six order Spike around and just leave him out of everything. I hope to read their reactions when they find out that he is gone and he is actually enjoying himself. Maybe they will show him actual love and care as true friends, I hope soon. Thank goodness for Big Mac!
I agree with Vinyl, get the cannon and destroy some ignorant mother buckers.
3427135 BIG MAC FOR THE WIN!
A couple of grammatical errors here and there but I like the idea.
Seems, good
consider me a follower
I really like where this is going. Please update soon.
Been waiting for the moment when everyone realizes Spike does most of the actual work when the mane six screw something up. A few grammatical errors, but hey, we all have a few, no? Nicely done.
Spike hanging out with other ponies other than the Mane 6 is pretty awesome!!!
So there are main shippings as well.
*clap* *clap* *clap* i haven't read the story yet but it is a grate idea!
at times like these I really wish the maine six would get their ass beaten and Spike gose dragon to save their asses
Well Twi & Rarity use him for labor and Dash and Pinkie make fun of him. I think only Applejack & Fluttershy ( mainly Fluttershy) treat him like a brother.
Also bring Hell to the four.
I don't mean to be a jerk but a couple? I think this writer really needs to re read his sentences. I would edit it, but I already did that for a few other people and i just takes up so much time 3427238
3450113 Ok I was trying to be nice there.
I hope that Spike himself throws the shit on the fan.
Like he realises that he is only getting used and really get pissed about it.
Can't wait to see the Mane Six's reactions when he's gone for a few days.
Hey Author, I absolutely love what you are doing with this story. I mean there are so many things just right about this story, but there are a couple of errors that could enrich the experience, which are currently harming it.
Tag Variety
You vary the end of the sentences (the tags) based on the type of sentance ("asked, said"), but this is sadly not good enough. This is where you add emotion and thought into a story. This is called Wordcraft, crafting dull informative sentences into meaningful and descriptive works of art.
Ex: "Oh shucks," Braeburn said with a hint of pride.
That is just adding detail at the end of the sentence. But as you can see, the extra detail gives you more info on what's happening.
Imagine the story is a play, you need to write out everything that happens (Garble sat down on the pile of gems at his feet), to the emotions ("I don't want to go!" the Doctor said as tears streamed down his face, as he was devastated about having to regenerate), to the expressions, ("Die you monster," he said with pure unadulterated malice on his face)
Ex: "Oh dear lord it's a fire!" she screamed.
Notice the action is not 'said', but something more descriptive.
"Hi", he said. "Demetri..." he said. WORDS he said. Just gets too repetitive and boring. Please don't do this. Use variety! If you can't think of a word, just use said with some description after.
One-liners
"Hey!" you say.
"Hi," he fires back.
"How are you?"
"Fine enough,"
This gets annoying really fast. You can have these, in fact you are using proper grammar! But at the same time, it becomes dull and repetitive. Do not be dull or repetitive. Please not be dull or repetitive.
Instead of long blocks of dialog, cut it into sections. Place detail about what is going on in between them, and make sure you move the characters around, make them twitch their foot, make them smile lightly, just make them do something. How many conversations have you been completely still doing absolutely nothing making no movement or sounds other than the ones you make. If you leave details out, it becomes ambiguous (or uncertain). I could easily assume that they are standing there as still as statues, but at the same time just as easily assume they are disco dancing. Literally reread that dialog and image them dancing (it's funny ). See, author, when you imaging the scene's and plot in your head, you should think about what they are doing, and not what they are saying. Actions speak louder than words.
Ex:
You and your long time lover were in a room. A fire burnt in the fireplace, it was dark and snowing outside, and everything was calm. You had just walked into the room, and noticing your lover, you greeted him.
"Hey!" you say.
"Hi," he fires back.
You both looked at each other with love and care in your eyes. The tension was unbelievable.
"How are you?"
You could tell from his tone that he was definately fine.
"Fine enough,"
See? The exact same dialog, but you actually know what's happening (and it's definitely not disco dancing), and in so much more detail too!
Also don't take this long and huge rant the wrong way, it's constructive criticism!
Exiting Purple Smart Rant Mode.
I really do like the story so far, keep it up!
And I hope you all have a wonderful day!
-Lionel
Question. What if Twilight goes to Canterlot and ask Celestia and Luna what kind of business Spike is doing?
Dang... I'm glad I'm not the only one that realized that. He saved the empire and they still worry about her passing a damn test that threatened everypony's life....
Celestia is a damn troll if I ever seen one.
Thank goodness some of the ponies in Ponyville have some sense...Well apparently everyone but the mane six
It's a little stupid that Twilight is more interested in the ink than Spike, but she is pretty anal about that sort of thing that I can actually imagine that being the case. I feel bad for Spike, being left out in all the adventures.
Good work so far.
3798410 Exactly.
They were concerned about a test than everyone's lives.
No sense of gratitude for Spike , just some musical number about a test.
THE BUCK?!
4028329 at least the crystal ponies like him at least.
3449638 hehehe I just hope we don't get any hitchers. wink wink, nudge nudge.
3641856
Then all tartarus breaks loose
you should have Big Mac give the Mane 6 "A Reason You Suck Speech" in a later chapter
And now the lives of the mane six are going to go down the drain.
found this one typo simp,e well you better edit it to "simple".
but, nice chapter!
... I need my beating stick!
Perfect.
4340469
your current profile picture just makes your comment perfect
doctor whooves:this equation proves mathematically that you 6 are all shittty ponies, have fun revising the formula douches
rainbow:THIS DOESN'T EVEN MAKE SENSE!!!!
twilight:no no, he's got a point
3891801
Its everyPony
glares in mane sixes general direction
That's it. I'm gettin' me mallet