Proud Skies has lost everything that is important to him. Everything that he has ever worked for and achieved... Revenge will be glorious. He is going to get back at the Princesses, he will make them pay for what they did to him.
They will all pay.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic © Hasbro Inc.
The character of Proud Skies and everyone else from The RoBaS universe © OminousBrony & Wintergreen Diaries
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Derived from The Risks of Braving A Storm by Wintergreen Diaries
EDIT:
18/10/13 - Removed Romance Tag - Romance will be apart of it, but it isn't a focus.
24/10/13 - Fixed up Cerul Wintergreen Diaries' name.
26/12/13 - Removed unnecessary parts from description.
Chapters (2)
I will blame both Cerulean and Trevor for not telling me anything about this.
3361096 ...SURPRISE!
1: Quillo do VERY Good.
2: I didn't see any mistakes right now.
3: GLORIOUS!
3361096 So I'm out of range?
...
Excellent.
denver.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw172_130563068123.png
3361305
Oh no. You still have a Ninja armed with a Sniper Rifle that shoots poisoned shuriken heading your way. You are just getting off easy.
3361350 *ahem*
Why would the ninja need a sniper? Seems inefficient.
3361366
I didn't want you dying too quickly. The Sniper Rifle will make it take longer.
3361457 Fair enough, I just fear that the Sniper might give away the Ninja's position. Then again, being assassinated by a Ninja assassin is badass enough, the means matter none.
Looks like I have something new to read~~
-Missy
Okay, I wasn't going to point them all out, but seeing as you asked...
Well, I'm not feeling any sympathy for him as of yet. All of this has been done by his own hoof.
Needs to be Storm.
If that's Proud's thoughts, then it should be italicized.
Change this to
It'll flow better.
Same again
Not sure on this one, but
Think that would sound better as
Other than those... interesting to see this from his POV. I challenge you to make me feel something for him, other than the need to shoot him.
Good luck.
3367675 Thank you for pointing them out
, but this quote:
Is not a thought... and this:
Isn't supposed to be emotional yet, he believes it's everyone else's fault... So maybe I should add abandoned to the list... That should work. It's sort of a mix between first person and third person that will carry through the story. It's more of an experiment in writing.
Anyway, I intend to carry on his need to be shot for a good while. Believe me, he will do more very horrible things to the people around him before I make him an agreeable character. I want the change to be gradual; it can't be instantaneous because I feel that he wouldn't develop as a character in a short space of time.
Rest assured, he will get what's coming to him... Mark my words...
There was a new chapter here... what happened?
3670966 A slip of the finger.
Sorry, three days too early, it still had notes (spoilers) in it!
3675480 Fair enough. I still want to shoot him though.