• Member Since 19th Jul, 2013
  • offline last seen May 10th, 2017

Dress72


T

Mathew, or rather White Wind, has returned home, after going to Equestria. The memories he has made have been forced to the back of his mind as the life he originaly left, becomes his again. But what happens when he returns to Equestria, and with his son none the less? Will he be able to live with the one he thought didn't care about him? Will he be able to satisfy his son with the new life? Many questions are raised, even more to come about. The answers, might not be as clear as hoped.

Sequel to "The New Beginning" (read first for background (Important for understanding a few things)
Please up-vote if you liked the story, and/or also comment on it to let me know what you think.

Chapters (20)
Comments ( 94 )

Who takes a six-year-old skydiving?!? And on a challenging high-altitude drop involving oxygen tanks at that? At least Matt a pro but still a little risky for a birthday treat.

3103417
Mathew does obviously. Why is the better question. Answer, because reasons that might get explained later.
Also if you read the story that this is a sequel to, you will find that he actually contemplated leaving his son forever. Guilt may or may not have a factor in it.

3103488
I will admit I haven't read the first one. Seems odd BUT it has to set up the story so it's not a big thing (I'm guilty of worst things to move the plot along in fics I've written before). It's an interesting start, not many "Human Returns to Equestria" around and bringing his offspring along is a great premise for a sequel. This should be a fun one, thumbs up.

3103514
Yah, I would suggest you read the full first story first, or at the very least, from chapter 10, or chapter 8 is better, as i reference a few things from that story.

Pony creator cover art? Blew :rainbowwild:

Also they look like thief humping each other

3103952
Your opinion. If you think it looks that way, then that is your problem, not mine.
I use Pony Creator because I suck at drawing, and I don't know anyone who would draw for me, actually, to be honest, I don't know anyone who can draw... I'm pretty anti-social, so I don't know that many people.

3104007 pony creator just looks crappy though, I'd rather have no image than that.

If you want good cover arts, search through Devianart, there's some good art work there.

Not gonna upvote/downvote, but I just wanted to comment that "ending" and "beginning" have been overused to death, and then some.

3104202
I know... just couldn't think of a better name... will most likely change it when I think of one though.

3104130
Still your problem, not mine.

Hum... no. This is much too rushed for me to be invested in it, being six does not mean forget you almost died in seconds, nor being okay with suddenly being a pony. In the same order of idea, putting many years of life behind oneself's is not that easy or quick. I feel nothing when I read emotions being glossed over like that.

Also, there is a fine line to draw in behaviors. I'm afraid that your character comes across as very much a terrible person for his tornado stunt. He created a tornado, out of nowhere, which was something a whole flock of pegasi had trouble doing together (see Hurricane Fluttershy for reference), putting wild life and anyony in the forest in danger, for the sake of saying "I'm here, bye."? Heck, he gets called out on it and he's "duh, Sit Celestia"? Nope. Nope. Nope.

Do not want. I really suggest working on his personality more, unless him being a total jackass was intentional.

3108770
You need to read the first story if you haven't already, and it sounds like you haven't. It's also not like Jake is okay with being a pony, he just doesn't mind as much because he has wings. and many things will be illuminated upon later in the story, so don't discount it quite yet. W.W. also, doesn't have much patience for authority... Again, you kind of need to read the first story to understand his personality a bit more.

P.S. He is kind of only a jackass to Celestia, but it is also just to mess with her. he tends to be nice to everypony else.

Omg im hooked on this story!!! I always laugh when white wind or matthew teases the princess!! How often do you update? Im dieing for you to continue!!

3117103
I try to update every day... Almost did last story, but right now I'm helping my mom move. I might be able to update late tomorrow (28th). For this story, I might update every other day.

3117143 ok thanks! Ill look forward to it! You've inspired me to make a fanfic on a dif account (so there is no self promotion) youre really great at writing and i just helped my mom move so i know how it is

Looking forward to the next chapter! I really love this fanfic and you made it so awesome!

3109254 I did read the first story and I thought that Celestia's behavior was incredibly out of character, which unfortunately carries over in this story. Not to mention that apparently being thrown in a prison cell is a cakewalk and should barely affect anyone at all. In fact, they should be able to make threats to their jailers and what's not... Yeah... :raritydespair:

Now then, you completely ignored the points I was making.

" It's also not like Jake is okay with being a pony, he just doesn't mind as much because he has wings. "

You are aware that this means exactly what I meant. He should be miles away from thinking about the oh so great advantages of having wings. He should be tearfully asking his dad why he doesn't have fingers anymore, why he can't stand and why he has a tail. Scratch that, he shouldn't recognize his dad at all. I'll give that to you, he screamed in terror at first. It should have lasted more than three seconds though.

Also, your character is not a jackass just to Celestia. Where, in the text, is it shown that White Wind had considered who or what might be injured or killed when he created that tornado? "the entirety of a few kilometers worth of forest was also drawn into the vortex". Seriously. How the heck did he think that was a good idea? You clearly decided that no one at all was affected and that Celestia is apparently overreacting to someone causing a natural disaster to say "hey, I'm back, but now I gotta go back to my son immediately because it's much more important." If he couldn't leave his son alone for more than a few minutes, he shouldn't have tried to summon the rulers of the lands! How is he NOT a jackass?! I don't care if he lacks respect for authority, he reacted just like Lightning Dust did when told she had almost killed five of the Mane Six in Wonderbolt Academy.

3123538
I actually think that I had addressed that he was worried about the creatures of the forest,

. I also used it as an opportunity to save all the animals, who got pulled into the inner vortex while the larger objects where in the outer one, and placed them on the mountain side.

. Also, I plan on addressing why the son feels the way he does more in chapter six, and why he did, wasn't affected as much as he should have been. In fact, it was part of the plan to address all that in the first place by occasionally switching viewpoint, and recapping the previous chapters from the other's PoV.
Also, how Celestia behaves is completely up to the writer, and while most view her with infinite patience, i chose a different route.

3124018 Alright, gotta admit, that line about the animals flew over my head. Point to you. I still think it was irresponsible to do it in the first place though, as, unless the protagonist is immune to accidents, it could have resulted in deaths, for the sake of calling people and then leaving immediately afterward...

As for the son, well, it's good that you have a plan, great, even.

Finally, Celestia's behavior might be completely up to the writer, as are all characters appearing in a fic, but since she has a canon personality, you cannot deny that she is not acting in-character.

3124269
I will say that yes, he was acting incredibly irresponsibly. It's not so much that he is immune to accidents either, but when it comes to stuff with wind, he is: A) incredibly lucky, and B) immune to negative effects.
As for Celestia, I don't know what more to say, other than you taking offence to it is your problem. Aside from Celestia almost hating W.W. at this point, but still willing to listen to him slightly, I have defended it, and once again, it is your problem from this point forward.

Omg i love this!! Cant wait for the next few chapters!

I like how your making jake or red wings PoV!

3205387
He actually won't rage from being asked about his wife, he will answer the questions asked about her, but will get depressed. It actually hints as to what he will rage about in chapter 5, and he almost does go on a rampage.
But yah, White Wind, being at least slightly aware of being able to control the wind, and can create massive tornados, unlike his son, havoc would be wrecked were he to go berserk.

3209955
I never truly give away what will happen, i only give hints and foreshadow stuff. Foreshadow: Chapter 5: White Wing almost goes on a rampage after hearing that his son was stopped from leaving. Chapter 5: Rainbow Dash confesses her love to W.W. Chapter 9: Luna becomes Red Wing's mentor. Hints: Possible conflicts between Luna and Rainbow Dash, Red Wing and Rainbow Dash, White Wind and Luna, and/or White Wind and the Canterlot Royals. Again, I never give away what will happen, but i can give you hints based off of clues in the story on what may happen.

Comment posted by Dress72 deleted Sep 16th, 2013

3214393
:pinkiecrazy: insanity is fun :pinkiecrazy:
Most likely the last one. I will continue the this story for up to Twilight becoming a Alicorn; maybe, probably will stop before that to be able to incorporate it into something else later. Then when I write my extravagant 3 arc story, W.W. and R.W. will appear repeatedly with every other OC I create.

I'll be honest, I feel guilty of not noticing this sooner. Oh well, at least I notice now. I'll start reading it. Just figured you would be more likely to read this on your latest chapter.

3108770 did you even read the first?

3104007 well I know one person, I'm sure she would be glad to help if she wasn't always busy. Just quote me for info.

There, done reading all ten current chapters :D

Personally I would slow down the story a bit. It's good like I thought it would be but your progression is a bit to quick. Slow it down like the first and it would be much better.

The reason I double my post: laziness :O

3231365
Meow :rainbowwild:... Probably should... just wanted the first 10 chapters over and done with, to be honest. Thanks for the input, and will slow it down a bit. and it is slower than my original goal for the chapters (6-10, was originally going to end with Jake already going on an adventure with CMC.), also I was trying to switch every 5 chapters, so that had an effect as well. next Red Wing POV switch I will probably do, is after the wedding. which will take somewhere around 3-6 chapters to get to, then another 2-4 to finish. not sure how many it will take but there is my rough estimate.
3231080

>> Dress72 well I know one person, I'm sure she would be glad to help if she wasn't always busy. Just quote me for info.

3231875 I defiantly like the pov switch and I think it makes the story more entertaining.

Now for that info, this is the same person who drew my profile pic. She is usually busy but is a great artist. If you ask nicely she may make you the picture. http://viperviolist.deviantart.com

Oh yeah, she knows me by another name :P so referencing my username here won't help much.

Comment posted by Dress72 deleted Sep 20th, 2013
Comment posted by Dress72 deleted Sep 20th, 2013

Can't wait to see what he whispered. Make it gruesome <3

3243525
I will do my best... not very good at writing gory stuff though. What i have right now is basically stuff that would induce a shit ton of pain.

3243548 ill rate it on my 1-10 scale afterward. But I hope it's good. Let's see what your crazed mind can perform >:D

Yaaaaaay -insert fluttershy emoti- (phones suck at times) no more forceing.

Love it. That promise could hinder there progress especially now that some ponies are trying to mug him. Oh well, let's see what the loving wind has to say...

Interesting. Not quite the twist I was expecting but, it's just as good as what I thought would happen.

3267141
Oh? Please, tell me what you thought was going to happen. I am curious.

3269404 the thought left me :/ if i remember ill post it.

3270099
i didn't give them weapons because they weren't actually trying to hurt him.

Omg i cant wait for the next chapter!!

I believe it is time for a few red wing pov chapters. :D

3282263
almost... still need him to actually wake up, and do some fun stuff.

3282578 ahhhhhhhh, id love to see what red wing did on those 60 something days. Oh well, I can wait for white wing to wake up first.

Yesss it is here another chapter !!!:pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:

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