A Letter, A Mother, and An Awkward Dinner
Chapter 4: A Letter, A Mother, and An Awkward Dinner
“I’ll see you tomorrow! I think everything should be finished in the afternoon.” Flam waved, as he left Berry Punch’s workshop.
“Flam!” Flam’s head snapped towards the familiar voice. He saw Lyra running down the path towards him. She was being followed by Bon-Bon, who was doing all she could to keep up with the musician. “I've got to talk to you right now!”
Berry stepped out of the workshop, drawn by the yelling. “What is going on?”
“I have no clue, but it doesn’t look good.” Flam called to Lyra, “You alright?”
“No!” Lyra skidded to a stop just in front of him. She took a moment to catch her breath.
“It’s about you and me.”
Berry gave Flam an icy glare. “Lyra, if he did anything to hurt you, just say the word, and I’ll pound him into the dirt.”
Flam raised his hooves in defense. “I’ve done nothing of the sort! I swear!”
Lyra nodded in agreement, preventing Flam from receiving any physical abuse. “He’s not the problem, Berry, it’s my mother.” Lyra levitated a letter from her saddlebags, and turned it over to Flam’s magical grasp.
Berry calmed herself down. “I should have known better. He’s been nothing but nice to me and Piña.” She looked at Flam apologetically. “Sorry about that, Flam, I was just trying to take care of a friend.”
Flam did not take his eyes from the letter, as he told her, “No harm done, so don’t worry about it.” His eyes grew wide as he read on. When he finished the first page, he looked up at Lyra. “You have got to be kidding me.”
Lyra shook her head. “Keep going, it gets better.”
Flam’s eyes rapidly skimmed the next two pages. With each line, the look of disbelief on his face intensified.
Bon-Bon giggled, as Flam’s mouth fell open, “Now you see why Lyra’s upset.”
Lyra rubbed her hooves over each other in worry. “She’s coming to Ponyville in a week. She wants to meet you; evidently she thinks we’ve been an item for months.”
“Where in Equestria did she get these wild ideas?” Flam thought back over the last few days, and came up with only one explanation. “Golden Crust has to be the start of this. He must have eavesdropped when we were picking up the pizza.”
“He’s Upper Crust’s brother, so that would fit. If he told Upper about what he heard, I’m sure that nag wanted to rub it in Mother’s face.” Lyra looked crestfallen. “She’ll never believe me that we aren’t going out.”
“The thought of going out with me is that bad, huh?” Flam asked, only being half-serious. Lyra’s shocked expression at his words made him feel somewhat better.
“No! That’s not it at all. It’s just she’s already planning on coming here to meet you. She’ll make my life miserable if she finds out I’m not going out with somepony.”
Flam shrugged. “I’ve got a simple solution. Let’s meet her expectations.”
Bon-Bon stared at him. “What?”
“If Lyra and I being a couple is what her mother is expecting, let’s give it to her.” He bowed to Lyra in grand style. “I would be delighted to have a lady like you as a marefriend. If you would be willing to live with the fact that the beginning of our relationship would be a bit odd, we could take things slow and see how things turn out.”
Lyra stared at him for a moment, before asking, “You’re serious, aren’t you?”
Flam stood back up. “Of course, I would not make light of something like this.”
Her golden eyes regarded his thoughtfully. “She thinks you’re an con pony. She’s going to be an ursa major to you, I’m sure of it.”
He tilted his hat back, and rubbed his head. “I would hate to see you face your mother alone. Even if we just put up a front for her for a couple of days, I am more than willing to help you through this.”
“I’m not that good an actress, so let’s make it the real thing.” Lyra surprised him, as she hugged him around the neck. “I don’t want to turn you into a real con pony just to avoid trouble with Mother.”
He gave a short laugh and hugged her back. “You flatter me.”
Bon-Bon shook her head. “You two are so weird.”
Lyra reached up and adjusted Flam’s hat to an angle she liked. “How are we going to pull off looking like we’ve been going out for months?”
“We don’t.” He started to reach up to adjust his hat back to its original position, when Lyra’s hoof stopped him. “You can’t stand it can you?”
“Leave it; I like it at that angle. It brings out your inner bad colt.” She smiled, and released his hoof.
“Sorry to shatter your image of me, but this ex-con artist says that we tell the truth.” He froze, as Lyra’s put her hoof to his nose in a strikingly quick motion.
“You were a traveling salespony, not a con artist. There were no tricks involved with the deals you made and nothing illegal done.” She gently pressed down; tilting his head towards the ground and making him meet her eyes. “I don’t want you calling yourself that again. Alright?”
His green eyes flared with a lively spark. “Only because you asked so nicely, I promise.” He put his hoof on her nose, returning her gesture. “I would like you to having dinner with me a couple of times before your mother arrives. That way we can have at least a couple of dates to talk with your mother about.” The pair stood there and giggled at each other, both not moving their hooves from their respective noses.
*****
Lyra leaned in and told Flam, over the sound of the arriving train, “You can still back out. I wouldn’t hold it against you.”
“And leave you on this platform to face the mare that you have described as your mother? I don’t think so.” He looked over at her with a reassuring smile. “What kind of coltfriend would I be if I did that?”
Lyra levelly told him, “A smart one.”
Ponies started to step off the train. The flurry of bodies, mane and coat colors, and moving luggage made it almost impossible to single out a pony in the crowd. It took a couple of minutes for the platform to clear enough to for them to spot Lyra’s mother.
“Is that her?” Flam nodded towards a unicorn mare who resembled Lyra.
Lyra took a shaky breath before replying, “That’s her.”
“I see where you got your coat and mane colors.”
“She does have wonderful coloring, but I’m glad I got my father’s eyes.”
Flam suggested, “Let’s go meet her. At least we should act as if we’re looking forward to seeing her.”
“When faced with an opposing force, a defensive stance offers invincibility while an offense stance offers both the chance of victory and of defeat,” Lyra quoted.
“I didn’t realize you studied Shined Shoe’s strategies.” He withdrew his foreleg from around her shoulders. “We’re not going into battle you know.” He started towards the mare, and Lyra reluctantly followed.
“We might as well be.” She tried to look happy, as she welcomed the white coated mare, “Hello Mother!”
The mare turned, and Flam all but stopped in mid stride. The mare’s eyes were slate gray and held as much warmth as the stone they resembled. Her expression did not help his confidence. She seemed to be weighing him as though she was planning to sell him by the pound.
She greeted Lyra, “Hello, dear, I’m glad to see you.” She gestured to the two small bags that she had brought with her. “I hope that these will not be too much of a problem.”
The hair’s on the back of Flam’s neck stood up. She was using a tone much like Flim did when he was starting a bad deal. He did his best not to let his smile fade, as he offered, “I would be more than happy to carry those for you.”
The mare’s gray eyes turned his way again. “And you are?”
Even in the face of her disapproving tone, Flam took off his hat and offered a hoof. “Flam, the stallion lucky enough to call your daughter his marefriend, pleased to meet you.”
A ghost of a smile appeared on her lips. “At least you appear to have some manners.”
Lyra made a disapproving noise at her mother’s treatment of Flam, but held her tongue.
The mare took his hoof and gave it a cursory shake. “Silver Strings.” She levitated her bags to him without another word.
He took them from her with a slight nod. “I’ve heard your name before; I remember hearing it associated with the Canterlot orchestra.”
Sliver seemed slightly pleased by Flam’s comment. “I still play with them occasionally, when one of the other harpists cannot attend a function.” She waved for the two younger ponies to start moving off the platform. “It’s been a couple of years since I last accompanied them. You must follow the music world in Canterlot then, to know my name.”
“I do to an extent, but my dad does with great enthusiasm.” Flam placed the bags on his back. “Are you familiar with Ponyville at all?” He started to guide the group into town.
“I don’t recall ever being in this rustic little town.” Her words held an aloofness that would have done any Canterlot blueblood proud. “I have never been to a place that did not at least have an inn to stay at.”
Lyra tried to be civil, and offered, “We could show you around the town, if you would like.”
“No thanks dear, I just want to rest and talk a bit before dinner this evening. I’ve been working all week, and the train trip was not the most relaxing thing.” Silver tossed her mint green mane back from her face. “Are you sure that my staying at Sweetie Drop’s will not prove a problem?”
Lyra smiled as warmly as she could. “Of course not Mother, Bon-Bon assured me you were welcome to stay.”
“Then where will you stay tonight, if I take your bed?” Silver looked at Lyra
“Bon-Bon said I could take hers. She’s planning to stay with Beat tonight,” Lyra explained.
“So you won’t be staying with Flam then? That’s good to know.” Silver’s relieved tone made it plain that such an arrangement would have met with her vehement disapproval.
Flam flushed at the implications of Silver’s words. “It she had wanted to stay at my place, I would have offered her my bed and slept on the couch.”
Silver took pleasure in the fact that she had made him uncomfortable. “How generous of you, I would expect no less of my daughter’s coltfriend.”
He countered Silver’s acidic tone, by stating with earnestness, “After all that Lyra has done for me, it’s the least I can do in return.”
“There’s the shop.” Lyra pointed to Bon-Bon’s and took the point position for the group. “Bon-Bon’s been looking forward to meeting you.”
Flam almost snorted at the outright lie, but managed to keep himself in check. He opened the door to the shop for the two mares and gestured for them to enter. With impeccable manners, he told them, “Ladies first.”
Silver entered the shop first. Flam noticed her cutting her eyes at him for a brief moment as she walked past him, as if she were inspecting him once again. I hope I don’t have something in my teeth. That would be my luck.
As Lyra passed through the door, she smiled encouragingly at him. “Bon-Bon, we’re here!”
Bon-Bon stuck her head out of the kitchen door. “I’ll be right there. I’ve got to break this peanut brittle apart while it’s still warm.”
“Why don’t you go help her, Lyra. Flam can help me with my bags and we’ll be right back.” Silver waved Lyra on. “Go on, help your friend.”
Lyra gave Flam a quick, cautioning look, and then went to help Bon-Bon.
“Shall we?” Silver smiled and waited for Flam to lead.
“Follow me.” Flam led her up the stairs and into Lyra’s room. As he placed Silver’s bags on the dresser, Silver levitated Lyra’s lyre to her.
She took a couple of moments to softly strum the strings, turn the tuning pegs, and then she began playing a soft, haunting tune. “I can tell that Lyra has talked with you about me.”
“Certainly, she speaks of you often.” Flam turned towards her and diplomatically stated.
“But not overly fondly when she does, if I had to guess.” She gave Flam a knowing smile, upon seeing him tense at her statement. “She and I have not been on the best of terms for quite a while. Even with the relationship between Lyra and me being rough right now, I still try to look out for her. I had to come check on her after I got a gleefully written letter from an old friend of mine telling me that my daughter is involved with a con pony.” Royal and vibrant chords filled the room from her playing, as she regarded him with barely concealed hostility.
Flam chose to keep silent. He wanted to see where she wanted to go with the conversation before saying much of anything.
“You’re guarded around me, but your politeness is not feigned, that much I can tell.” Abruptly she stopped her playing, and returned the lyre to its stand. “I won’t hide it, I’m here to lay eyes on you and determine what kind of stallion you are. The letter did not paint you in a warm light.”
Flam did not flinch from her harsh gaze. “Lyra has not spoken well of you either, but I made the decision to reserve judgment till I met you myself.”
Silver’s eyebrow rose. She admired his skillful and bold verbal parry. “I take it you wish me to do the same?”
Flam nodded. “I would appreciate it, for both myself and for Lyra.”
Silver allowed a genuine smile to show. “Then we shall agree to take this opportunity to learn about each other, before making our final judgments.” She raised her nose just a little, and a touch of the high Canterlot tone returned to her voice. “There is one other thing that I have been able to see about you.”
Flam invited her to continue, by asking, “That would be?”
“You care for my Lyra, but I can’t tell how much.” Silver’s eyes remained hard, but the intensity of her scrutiny had lessened. “After seeing her with that brute, Blueblood, I have come to appreciate that more with her suitors.” She turned and left the room, leaving Flam standing where he was. He did not immediately follow. He took a few quiet moments and contemplated what the next gambit on her part would be.
*****
The dinner was low key and relaxed, just as planned. The Grazing Meadow’s outdoor café atmosphere and wide variety of entrée choices had the perfect blend of Ponyville and Canterlot that the evening called for.
Their server, Horte Cuisine, added his own little bit of Canterlot flare, with his formal vest, cuffs, and impeccable service. Lyra noticed Cuisine had an uncharacteristic bit of a smile showing when he delivered their drinks, and commented, “You seem happy tonight Cusinie. What’s got you in such a rosy mood?”
Cuisine gave her a rare, uninhibited smile. “We’ve gotten a little unexpected help. She’s been helping us for the last few days, and has proven to be invaluable.”
Lyra grinned at him. “You like her that much?”
Cuisine did not comment and slid back behind his professional demeanor. “Your meals will be ready shortly.”
Silver glanced at her daughter. “Don’t tease the stallion, Lyra. You never know what he could do to your food.”
Lyra laughed at her mother’s concern. “Not Cuisine, he’s far too professional for that. Besides, he’s a fan of our little group and he and I are friends.”
“How is that going, by the way?” Silver asked, before taking a sip of her wine.
“Very well, Bon-Bon’s gotten good enough that she’s not that nervous before a show now.” Lyra stirred her sweet tea idly. “Blues may be leaving us. He and Noteworthy are teaming up to do more jazz gigs. It hasn’t been brought up, but I can tell that’s where things are heading.”
Silver looked over to Flam. “Perhaps you could join them? Do you play an instrument?”
Flam noticed the measuring look had returned to Silver’s eyes. He thought to himself, So, the opening move is made. “No, wouldn’t know what to do with a drum, much less anything more complex.”
Silver noted, “You’re a little too scrawny to be an opera singer too. Therefore, by your own admission, you would have nothing to offer my daughter in her professional life. I certainly hope that doesn’t apply to every aspect of your involvement with my daughter.”
Lyra’s mouth fell open at her mother’s rudeness. “He sings quite well!”
While Lyra defended him, Flam laughed at Silver’s comment. “True. I would not fit the bill of an instrumentalist very well at all, and I certainly couldn’t sing well enough for what she needs.”
Silver smoothly segued into the question she truly wanted answered. “What do you do for a living? Seeing as you are not musically inclined.”
Flam had prepared for this line of questioning, and easily answered. “I’m a business owner, mechanic, and designer of fruit and produce harvesting and processing equipment.”
“What kind of business owner,” Silver asked, regarding him in a slightly better light.
“I own one fifth of Wine Vinegar’s Farming Equipment Incorporated.” Flam said, with a note of pride.
Lyra slowly turned to him in amazement. “You didn’t tell me that.”
Flam winked at her. “It never came up in conversation.”
Silver sat back, and smiled a full, pleased smile. “You must be the son of Wine and Apple Vinegar. Your brother is some hot water with your father, according to the current gossip. Wine was none too pleased when Flim returned to Canterlot without you. From what I’ve heard, it’s caused a little shake up in the company as well.”
Flam took the news stoically. “I hate to hear that. About the company, I mean. My brother deserves whatever he gets and then some.”
“Why in Equestria did your parents name you Flam?” Lyra asked out of uncontained curiosity.
Flam sighed. “Flam and I were a bit of a surprise, in that we were twins. Dad and mom have strange senses of humor, so inspired by the unexpected delivery of two colts; they named us Flam Scam and Flim Skim.”
Silver laughed. The laugh put Flam more at ease, until she asked, “So, with all that wealth, what turned you into a con pony?”
Cuisine, who was just about to place Silver’s meal before her, froze. He slowly looked over to Flam and asked, “Should I come back later?”
Flam dismissed Cuisine’s concern with a wave of his hoof. “Certainly not, keep right on my good stallion. I would hate for our meals to get cold. Mine is a long, odd, and sad tale, but I’m no con pony.”
Cuisine nodded and continued serving their meals.
Flam explained the whole con pony misunderstanding to Silver. As he told her about his and Flam’s business deals, the fiasco with the Apples, his ending up on Beat’s couch, and the start of his new career, Silver ate quietly.
She only asked a couple of questions during his telling. At the end of his story, she looked at him and shook her head in disbelief. “You should write a book. It would sell like hotcakes.”
“They would put in the fiction section, if I did. Nopony would believe it.”
“So you two have only been going out for a week and a half, and you already feel for her?” Silver’s voice held more than a little disbelief.
“Lyra has not judged me, helped me feel welcome in this new town, and has given me a healthier perspective on who I am. We’ve only been on a hooffull of dates, and known each other for a very short time, but I think there might be something between us.” He nodded in deference to Lyra. “I hope I’m not speaking for you when I shouldn’t be.”
“You’re not at all,” Lyra assured.
Silver signaled to Cuisine. “Monsieur, I’d like the rest of this wine, if the bottle is still available.”
Cuisine nodded politely, and went to retrieve the bottle.
Flam took a risk, and asked, “Where is your husband, if you don’t mind me asking?”
Silver gave him a weary smile. “He’s playing as a guest soloist with an orchestra in Fillydelphia. He keeps promising me that this time will be the last.” She thanked Cuisine, as he refilled her glass and placed the bottle on the table. Silver swirled her wine slowly, her mind’s eye seeing her husband. “He loves playing for an audience too much to completely stop. I think this is the seventh ‘last time’ so far. I guess I can’t complain too much, I still teach basic lyre courses.”
“My dad is like that too. He’s supposed to be partially retired but he still manages to sneak back into the workroom every so often.” Flam looked in the direction of Canterlot, as he thought of his father. “I guess once something is such a part of your life for so long, you never can never really leave it behind.”
Silver nodded knowingly. “Like you and tinkering with farm machines.”
“I wasn’t thinking that, but I can’t argue.” Flam smiled, as he came to a realization. “I think I lost sight of what was important to me when I was on the road.”
Lyra keenly pointed out, “You found it again by hitting the road too.”
Flam winced at the memory of falling from the Super Squeezy, but his grin returned quickly. “It certainly sped things along, I’ll give it that.” He put his hoof on top of Lyra’s, where it had been resting on the table. “I might have found my joy for tinkering with machines again eventually, but I would never have met you if I hadn’t fallen from the Super Squeezy.” He kissed Lyra’s nose, not caring her mother was right across the table.
That is certainly something that Blueblood would never have said to Lyra, Silver thought, as she sipped her wine.
*****
Lyra knocked on the shop’s door, warning Bon-Bon they had returned.
“Go on dear. Open it. You live here too.” Silver urged.
“Mother, think about it. Bon-Bon and Beat could be here.” Lyra slightly blushed, as she relived a scene in her mind. “I made the mistake of opening the door a little too quickly one time.”
“Don’t keep us in suspense. What happened?” Flam asked.
“I found out Bon-Bon and Beat are both more flexible and imaginative than I ever gave them credit for.” Lyra opened the door, leaving Flam and Silver to create their mental pictures of the scene she had beheld.
Lyra opened the door and led them into the house. “Bon-Bon? Beat? You guys home?”
Bon-Bon came out of her room, and welcomed them back. Relieved that everypony seemed in a good mood, she asked, “Did you enjoy your meal?”
“It was delicious and the dinner conversation very enlightening. There is a lot more going on than the letter indicated.” She smiled almost savagely. “I cannot wait to write to my dear friend Upper Crust. She will most certainly want to know the gritty details about who Lyra is dating.”
“Mother, don’t stoop to her level. You’re better than that.”
“I just want to make sure that your name is not sullied. Some of the accusations in the letter were quite outrageous.” She looked towards Flam. “There is this stallion’s reputation to consider as well. He does not deserve the demonization that he received.”
Bon-Bon could not believe what she was hearing. “Are you alright? I thought you were going to have Flam’s ears before you guys left.”
Silver wanly smiled. “I was thinking along those lines at the time. Now that I know Flam better, I don’t see such an event transpiring.” She looked in his direction. “Lyra chose her coltfriend well.”
Flam bowed towards in thanks for the compliment.
Lyra smiled at Silver’s approving expression. She realized there was a pony absent from their gathering. “Where’s Beat?”
Bon-Bon sighed. “He’s come down with some kind of crud. I offered to stay and help him, but he didn’t want me to get sick too. To be honest, as sick as he is right now, I was glad he sent me home. Listening to a pony retch is not fun. I doubt there was much I could do for him other than keep him company while he suffered.”
Silver was disappointed. “That’s horrible. I was so looking forward to seeing him after all this time.” She yawned, and shook her head. “I’m afraid the wine is getting to me.”
Lyra offered, “You go on to bed, I’ll sleep on the couch.”
“That’s sweet of you, but you’re not sleeping on a couch on my account.” Silver insisted.
The pair bantered back and forth until Bon-Bon suggested, “Why don’t one of you go with Flam? We could flip a bit to see who stays here.”
Silver gave Bon-Bon a scandalized smile. “Dear, I’ve had a little wine, I’ll admit. However, I’m not near tipsy enough to try to steal my daughter’s coltfriend.”
Bon-Bon laughed as Lyra face hoofed herself. “Mother, I really don’t need that image in my head.”
Trying not to laugh, Flam offered, “I have a spare bed. Either of you are more than welcome to stay tonight.”
Silver started up the stairs. “Lyra, go with him. I would hate to think of the gossip that would go around if somepony were to see me going home with him alone.” Before waiting for a response, she disappeared up the stairs.
Bon-Bon looked over at Lyra and Flam, not believing the transformation in Silver. “Did you two drug her food or something? She’s not the same mare she was earlier.”
“She and I had a discussion earlier, and I told her my story over dinner tonight. I think it greatly improved her outlook. No drugs were involved.”
Lyra smiled. “Turns out that Mother likes the idea that I’m dating a polite, rich stallion.”
Bon-Bon looked at Flam, confused by Lyra’s explanation. “What is she talking about?”
Flam took off his hat, and rubbed the back of his head. “Well…”
*****
Flam shut the door behind them, and turned the key in the lock. “That went better than I thought it would.”
“You kissed me in front of my mother.”
Flam could not tell if he needed to unlock the door and make a run for it or not. “Yes, I did.” He nervously swallowed, before reminding her, “It was just on the nose though.”
“It just caught me off guard. It was a rather bold move from the pony that was telling me that we should take things slowly.”
He looked towards the floor. “It just seemed right.
“You didn’t let mother goad you into a fight.” She hugged him. “It was actually one of the best evenings I’ve spent with her in a long time.”
He hugged her back. “I’ve had more practice avoiding conflicts with dad’s partners than I care to think about. I can’t say for sure, but I think she even might approve of us.”
“I think she likes your personality. Finding out you’re an independently wealthy stallion didn’t hurt her opinion either.” She looked up at him with a smirk. “Just when were you going to clue me in on that little fact? Did you think I could be some sort of gold digger?”
“I never even thought about it being important, to tell you the truth. As for you being a gold digger, the idea doesn’t fit you at all.” He flamboyantly took off his hat, brushed his mane back, and struck a pose. “I never doubted you were interested in me for my handsome looks.”
She poked him in the chest. “You’re full of youself.”
A flash of self-doubt shown in his eyes, he asked her, “Am I really scrawny?”
Lyra laughed. “No, you’re a little on the skinny side, but you’re certainly not scrawny.”
“It’s all the magic I use.” He looked himself over. “I burn off all the calories I eat using my magic to giving power to machines, pulling things apart, or putting things back together.”
“You’re in great shape. Don’t let Mother’s barb get to you. She was looking for a fight. You were the better pony, and didn’t give her one.” Lyra started to yawn, and Flam followed suite.
“It’s late and we both need to get to bed.”
Lyra nodded sleepily. “Point me towards your spare bed.”
“I’ll take the spare. You can have mine.” Flam walked into his office and drafting room and pulled a bedroll from the closet.
Lyra followed him, curious to see what kind of bed he had bought since she had helped move him in. When she realized what he was planning. “You don’t even have a couch to sleep on?!”
Flam began to unroll his bedroll. “I haven’t gotten around to buying one yet. Don’t worry, I slept on the ground all the time not too long ago. I’m used to it.”
Lyra lightly stomped a hoof. “I am not sleeping in your bed.”
“Why not, the sheets are clean,” he asked, bewildered.
“Give me the bed roll. You had to put up with my mother; I’m not going to ask anymore of you tonight. I’m not taking your bed.”
Flam remembered a line from his tabletop playing days in college. “You cannot take what I freely offer.”
She put her hoof to his nose. “Don’t go getting philosophical on me.”
He returned the gesture, by putting his hoof on her nose. “What kind of stallion would allow his marefriend to sleep on the floor?”
“Technically we’ll both be sleeping on the floor, since your bed is a futon,” she pointed out.
“Then there’s not a problem with you taking the bed.”
She started to giggle. “We must look ridiculous, with our hooves on each other’s noses.”
“It’s endearing and uniquely you. Just like the way you sit.” He lowered his hoof. “Don’t try to distract me either. Your mother would have my ears if I let you sleep on the floor.”
Lyra finally conceded. “Alright, but when you wake up with your muscles in knots, remember that I offered.” She went into his room, and softly shut the door.
As he curled up on the bedroll, the events of the day played through his mind. He smiled, as he came to a decision. I’ve got a letter of my own to write.
Stats
Page generated in 0.026 seconds
Total duration
993 users online
1,274,933 hits today, 2,073,628 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Shined Shoe. I see what you did there.
You could do with running this by an editor before posting if possible. There's a lot of little grammar and spelling mistakes slipping in which is a shame!
Hmmm, seemed just a tad to quickly on them actually becoming a couple but the rest of it makes up for that
3097598>>3097459 Thank you both for the feedback. I went back through, and stomped out a bunch of little errors. I also toned down their relationship at this point. I bounced back and forth as to how far they would be in their relationship, and I agree with you. It would be a little too soon for a deep connection..
Thanks! I think these changes have really helped the story.
FYI you referred to the brothers via the same name a few times.
the little hoof on nose thing is TOO CUTE!