Somepony who just wants to write
The humans have taking their place in their part of the galaxy thanks to the fact they can now live virtually forever. When they come across an Earth-Like planet, they find some equine inhabitants that are close-minded to new things. This weakness causes a war between a powerful race, and a race still finding its place among their planet.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Numerous arguments against what this story stands for, almost to the point of starting to science rage all over this beyatch, but besides a few grammar errors, this story is readable.
Always interesting to see ponies and space travel in the same story. However, I won't favorite it, not yet.
There were only a few grammatical errors (that I saw, wasn't really looking), but that can be fixed with another read through or two.
Anyways, keep it up, dude/dudette.
Story setup is good, you may want to show where the POV changes a bit more clearly.
You need an editor.
This story of yours is full of sentence fragments, overly descriptive prose and some science that makes me was to shout, "physics doesn't work that way!"
I'm trying to muddle through it but these things keep pushing me back out. I can't in good conscience give this thumbs up for those reasons. I suggest you find an editor and retool this.
Not too bad; certainly coherent enough. Needs work, but could work.
3078711 I am defiantly going to have an editor for the next chapter. And good point about the bad physics, I should put this through someone who knows what they are talking about.
Good so far, but you need an editor. Also, the Human parts are kinda hard to read, don't know why.
3080043 actually I may find some help 4 u I know lots of proofreader and editor that r willing to help