~The Previous Evening~
Cloud Kicker strolled to her house with her thoughts on Raindrops and uncontained glee that she said yes to a date. It was something she had been working up the courage to do for awhile now. She was one of the few ponies from behind the Weather Team that liked her for herself, and fought to maintain her reputation from the ponies that slandered her, calling her a slut or an easy lay. Spreading lies about how she would screw anything with four legs and a pulse, it was infuriating, but made her appreciate Weather Team and the few friends she had all the more.
She had always admired Raindrops since she met her in Canterlot. Back then she offered to help her out in learning her way around Canterlot nobility because there was something about seeing her looking so downtrodden that hit a chord with her, after learning that she was working on making a better Canterlot. Seeing the fire in her eyes, and the passion in her voice, she wanted to help out even more.
Through the years helping her out, Raindrops never asked for a bit, even though Cloud Kicker funded her anyways. She was the few non-nobles who, upon knowing that she was loaded, didn’t try hitting her up for bits, or trying to dig for gold. It was in a word, refreshing.
She was shaken from her revelry when Alula came out of her room, “Hi’ya sis. I’m done with my homework.” Alula chirped.
“That’s good. Are you ready for your new school when you go back to Canterlot?” Cloud Kicker asked.
“I am, I just wish that I got the hang of this stupid transformation thing already! Stupid Alicorn hormones!” Alulu exclaimed stomping her hooves, “Nopony here in Ponyville seems to notice, but in Canterlot when they find out they call me ”Princess Erroria”, or ask if I’m really an ugly Changeling.”
“Being an Alicorn foal sucks doesn’t it?” Cloud Kicker asked hugging her sister.
“Uh-huh! Sis? I’m not an error am I? Like some giant mistake?” Alula asked.
“Of course not. They’re just jealous that they aren’t as awesome as you. I’ll admit from the stories that I heard that Grandma Chicken Kicker was surprised when she popped you out. Probably as much as Cadence’s mom when she was born along side that slobbering twat Blueblood, talk about sibling rivalry. But you are, and never will be an error. You are my pretty little sis, and my number one wingmare.” Cloud Kicker replied, just like she always did when her sister’s secret came up.
“I just hope you don’t grow old like sissy Gale did. I love you.” Alula said hugging her.
“Don’t you worry about that. With all the plants, herbs and stuff to stay young I can stay young for at least another few centuries. Heck, Granny Smith is 850 years old, and still kicking,” Cloud Kicker said hugging her, “And I love you too. No matter how old you get, or what you do, you’ll always be my favorite sister. Now how about some dinner!”
“Thank you sis. So what’re we having?” She asked.
“Hmmm …,” Cloud Kicker said placing a foreleg on her chin, “How about a veggie cheeseburger, and you can choose Prench fries, or Sweet Potato fries, and a side of apple chips.”
“I want those salty Prench fries you make. I’ve been craving them since forever!” Alula said bouncing, her temporary burst of angst pushed to the side for the promise of one of her favorite foods.
“Sure thing short stuff, just don’t let our folks know that I’m spoiling you rotten.” Cloud Kicker replied over her shoulder with a smile.
“I’m not rotten,” Alula said as she watched her sister’s deft wings maneuvering around the kitchen like an extra pair of limbs as Cloud Kicker got to the task of setting things up for dinner, “So sis, what’s gotten you in such a good mood?”
“Do you remember Raindrops?”
Placing her left foreleg over her chin, her skin rippled and shifted into that of an earth pony with a Cutie Mark of a single pink flower, “I remember her. She was friends with you over in Canterlot, the nice pony who didn’t care that I shifted at weird times?”
“Yep! I’m going on a date with her next week.” Cloud Kicker give a little self-congratulatory cheer.
“Finally. I swear, your luck with getting a special somepony is worse than sissy Steel’s was. At least Raindrops is nice.” Alula commented.
“True, now I just need to put away my little black book, and be get ready for my special night. I’ll ask Derpy if Dinky wants to hang out with you that night.”
“Alright. I love you sis.” Alula chirped.
“I love you too.” Cloud Kicker replied warmly.
As Cloud Kicker cooked she let herself think back onto her black book. It was her guilty secret, it wasn’t that she was some loose floozy but she hated being alone, and sometimes she’d meet a pony who liked her. Although they made horrible special someponies, they’d hook up, and when Cloud Kicker was feeling lonely, or as if she was less of a pony after a bad break up. It was nice to have a pony there for her that would, even for a night, make her feel as if she was worth being around rather than her family's wealth, her family’s prestige and title of nobility, or other things that she worked her life escaping from the shadow of.
That doesn’t mean that she didn’t love her family, but sometimes it was difficult to have the only thing that other ponies cared about being what they could get out of you, rather than being with you for you. Even the ponies in her black book only really were interested in being friends with benefits rather than something long term. Cloud Kicker, as she dwelled on this, put on a smile for her sister and thought about playing matchmaker. It was a little game she played once in a while, hooking up ponies in her book that looked like they’d be cute together. Even if she wasn’t the lucky pony at least she could make a friend happy.
~Today~
Raindrops watched as Scootaloo walk into the schoolhouse with a twinge of sadness for the little filly, but all things considered things turned out rather well. She wore a bittersweet smile as she went on to complete her to-do list before work. First on her list was to visit Twilight, and then onto Rarity’s. Before going to Twilight’s she procured a small cart to help carry the two hundred-odd lbs of gold she’d need to bring to Twilight’s from her rainy day fund to help pay off the bits that Scootaloo appropriated over the years.
As she entered the library she heard a male voice call out from the kitchen, “I’ll be there in a second.”
That comment was followed shortly by a pudgy dragon waddling out of the kitchen wearing a frilly pink apron with a bright purple heart embroidered in the center. Raindrops looked at him and tried placing his name, having not seen much of the little dragon other than when he was trailing after Rarity on the few times she saw Rarity get within a hundred miles of any activity that could dirty her coat.
“Hello, my name’s Raindrops, what’s yours?” She asked bending down slightly to put her on eye level to Spike.
“My name’s Spike, nice to meet you Raindrops. I’ll get Twilight for you, she’s not really a morning pony, Do you want some breakfast too?” He asked
“No thanks, I had breakfast already, but thank you for offering,” She replied, “I’m here to talk to Twilight about something we agreed upon a few days ago.”
“Alright, I was about to go get her anyways,” With that Spike waddled up the stairs to get Twilight.
It was several minutes and several amusing muffled snippets of an argument when Twilight trudged down the steps with large bags under her eyes, “Hello Raindrops. Do you mind if I get some coffee in me before we start talking?” Twilight mumbled.
“Sure, actually do you want me to come back later?”
“No! It’s ok. I should’ve been up earlier, come join me and we can talk in a bit.” Twilight gave a grumbling reply.
It was a short while later that Spike came in with a bowl of honey cinnamon oatmeal, and a steaming cup of coffee. Raindrops looked at him and asked the question that she’d been wondering since she’d seen the drake hauling working like a rented mule running errands all over the place for Twilight and more often than not Rarity.
“So are you his Mistress?” Raindrops asked innocently.
Twilight spat her coffee out, while falling over her breath coming out in coughs and indecipherable stammering of surprise. Spike on the other hand was bawling with laughter, clutching his sides as his body shook from the force of the laughs.
When Twilight recovered she yelled, “What!?”
“Well I’ll be honest I never got to properly know what the owner of a servant is. And you can’t be his master since master is a male term. So I thought you’d be his Mistress.” Raindrops said not seeing what she said wrong in the context of her question.
“Oh! I thought you meant …” Twilight started to say before trailing off.
“Ha! Oh that’s good. Even I thought you meant like in those romance novels Rarity gets all the time. Although I doubt ponies can really bend that way.” Spike said as his laugh calmed down.
“Spike! I told you, you are too young to read those stories!” Twilight exclaimed in a startled tone, “But to answer your question. No I’m not his Mistress per say, rather I’m his … well we never really talked about what I am to him, but I guess I can see how my number one assistant could be classified as a servant. Looking back that term is rather fitting.”
Spike looked shocked, “Does this mean that I’m no longer your number one assistant?”
“Of course not. Think of it as a broadening of your duties, and you’re the best baby dragon servant I could ask for.” Twilight said matronly.
“Ummm ...Princess?” Raindrops asked hearing the term baby dragon in that statement.
“Yes, what is it?”
“You said baby dragon, as in an infant. How old is he anyways?”
“Oh! No, not baby in pony terms, rather in dragon terms. As for age, he’s about eleven. Same age as the Crusaders.” Twilight clarified.
“And I have to ask this, I’m really sorry about it, but it’s my job.” Raindrops said.
“I understand, it would be a sad state of affair if our civil servants didn’t do their jobs.” Twilight said, taking a sip of what was left of her coffee as Spike went to get a refill.
“How long has Spike been working? What is his level of education? And have you been ensuring that he’s had the proper level of socialization required for his social milestones?” Raindrops asked, giving a stream of necessary questions to make sure the child was taken care of.
“He’s been working since eight, the minimum age of a worker. He’s been taught by Princess Celestia, as well as my tutors. He knows how to respect and respond to authority, but he’s more likely to do what he thinks will please a pony more than he would to socialize like I’ve been learning to do. He does spend time with Rarity, and my other friends sometimes though, but even then he hasn’t really hit his social milestones. That’s my fault I guess since I wasn’t really social and I’ve worked him at my schedule for too long. I guess I could give him some more free time, or at least a schedule slightly less bound to my own.” Twilight answered.
“Ok … um … never mind Princess.” Raindrops was going to start, but doing her job on a Princess was something that started to make her feel unsettled.
Twilight sighed, and placed a hoof on Raindrops’ reassuringly, “As I said, I understand, your duty is to look after all types of youth. And while I have the documents for Spike’s workload and duties from the Princess I commend you for doing what you think is right. So ask.”
“Well, I just need to do a quick look over to see that he has appropriate lodgings, and his body doesn’t show signs of abuse. After that my legal obligations are over and we can start talking about Scootaloo.”
“Well let’s get started then,” Twilight said, getting up her refilled coffee cup held in her magic as she led her up to Spike and her shared room.
Raindrops looked around and noticing that a dog’s nest lay beside Twilight’s bed said, “I didn’t know you kept a dog.”
“Oh! That’s where Spike sleeps.” Twilight said offhoovedly.
“What?” Raindrops’ left eye twitched slightly, “You know he’s a sentient, speaking being? Not a pet?”
Twilight blushed and waved her hoof at Spike’s general direction, “He’s always slept in one of these, I never really thought about it before, after all it’s not like he complains about it.”
Raindrops looked at Spike and asked, “Spike, do you like beds or are you comfortable contorting yourself to fit in that?”
Spike shuffled a bit and shrugged, “I haven’t slept in a bed since Twilight was fourteen. So I guess it’s been what, nine years give or take?”
Twilight at this moment was beyond embarrassed that she hadn’t thought about getting him to sleep in the spare bed in the room, or anywhere for nine years. Rather she’d kept him in the basket she got him almost a decade ago which wasn’t looking good for her right now, gave a nod of affirmation.
“But me and Twilight can talk about that later, no offense.” Spike replied.
“None taken, I’m just doing my job to ensure that everything’s alright. I guess there’s one last measure of business. Spike, do you mind if I touch you? I just need to do a quick examination of your body.” Raindrops said in a gentle but professional manner.
“Alright,” Spike responded.
She walked him over to the chair in front of Twilight’s desk, “I’m going to need you to stand up and touch your toes. I’ll look along your scales to make sure there’s no injuries. If everything checks out we’ll be done in no time.” Raindrops explained to Spike and Twilight.
As Spike bent over and touched his toes Raindrops looked at his scales and rubbed her hooves carefully over them, stretching them and squishing looking to sense if anything was off. On his back she noticed numerous thin holes in the scales as if a thin, sharp object had been imbedded in the scales along random sections of his back. With a few of them causing cracks in the corners of quite a few of the scales.
“Twilight can you come here please, I need you to look at these for a moment.” Waving her over she showed her what she was seeing, “What are these?”
Twilight looked at them and took a deep breath, her left foreleg coming to her chest and thrusting outward as she exhaled, “Spike, did you know there were holes and cracks in your scales?”
“Yeah, but it’s no big deal, I hardly feel them.” Spike said with a shrug.
“Hardly? So you do feel it, since when?” Twilight asked her voice rising a little bit.
“Every now and then when I’m cleaning up, and then when I was in that lava pool during the Dragon migration.” Spike said.
“The … lava … pool? Dragon migration?” Raindrops said, disbelievingly falling to her haunches.
“Spike … with those cracks you could’ve gotten lava into the skin under your scales, you could’ve been hurt!” Twilight said angrily, “Why didn’t you tell me this?”
“It’s no big deal. I’m not hurt, and my scales will grow back after I shed them in a few years.” Spike replied, “And yeah, I went on the Dragon migration to see if I could find my birth parents. Dragons can rest in lava pools, it feels really relaxing actually. Other than the itch it gave me on my back after a while.”
Twilight looked over at Raindrops, “Don’t worry about this, I’ll talk to Rarity personally about using Spike as a pincushion. Now what are your findings?”
“Spike needs his own room, and an actual bed rather than a dog’s nest. And you need to pay more attention to his physical well being, but seeing as he was hiding it from you … fix it, and I’ll be back in a few days to check up on him, also I was planning on going to Rarity’s and I’ll need to speak to her about this as well,” Raindrops said in a professional manner, before changing the subject. “If it’s okay with you, let’s go back downstairs and I can talk to you about Scootaloo.”
“Alright, you can speak to her first since it’s part of your job. But tell her when Spike and I get over there later we’re going to have a long talk,” Twilight said with a terse nod.
Raindrops sat with Twilight, who had recently given Spike a bag of bits, and a the day off to have a day on the town for himself. She looked at Raindrops and sighed, “I can’t believe I never noticed what effect being a pincushion had on him. I mentioned it to him before, but he said he had thick scales. Although thinking back on it, it’s only a centimeter thick at most, give or take a few millimeters by my estimate.”
“I guess I can understand that. I mean, he’s the only dragon in civilization that I know of. So there’s going to be some hit and miss areas, at least you’re willing to work on problem areas and make sure that he’s better taken care of. Now onto what brought me here,” Raindrops said.
“I guess it’s about the small get together that Pinkie planned.”
“Well, partially,” She pulled out several different sized bags of bits with different names on them from out of her cart. Altogether it was 1,510 bits for the money taken by Scootaloo as well as an extra bag next to Rarity’s bit bag that held, 8,996 bits. 10,506 bits was a 4 months wages for a Weathermare and bits that she had been saving to make additions to her house. But to make a filly’s life better was a greater cause to Raindrops, “These bits are marked to the ponies that Scootaloo took money from. Can I ask you to make sure it gets to them?”
“That’s a lot of bits.” Twilight said.
“Not when stretched over five years. She took them from table tops, on floors, and hidden in furniture. She didn’t know it was stealing since it was out in the open in the more communal areas of places she’s visited, and she used it to get food as well as repair her scooter which was the last gift she has of her family.” Raindrops replied sadly.
“Five years? You're telling me that all of Ponyville ignored a homeless filly for five years and nopony has noticed? I should tell the girls,” Twilight whispered, her body in a state of shock at the news.
“I think it should be something she says, after all this party is so that she can tell everypony. But if you think it’s wise, please try to make sure that it doesn’t go past your group, I think it would hurt Scootaloo if everypony knew about it before she was ready.”
“Don’t worry, everything will turn out fine. Is there anything else?” Twilight reassured Raindrops.
“Yes, from both to you and Cheerilee, she took pencils, scrolls, papers, and other utensils she needed for school, but I don’t know how much she took, nor how much it’d cost altogether.”
“Don’t worry about that. I was wondering about where they ran off to, but as long as they went to further a pony’s education, I’m alright with that. I’ll admit the money might go quite a ways to rectifying what she did. But this is Ponyville I’m sure when they find out that she took what was needed for survival they won’t press legal action, but they might want some other form of recompense. As for our other point of business.
"I’m still looking for ponies who’d be willing to take in Scootaloo, there’s none so far who’d be willing to take in a pegasus who can’t fly,” Twilight said with a sigh, she placed her cup down and, ruffling her wings, continued, “Anyways, there’s another matter about Scootaloo. If what she has is a disability and not just underdevelopment? Are you going to take her to the doctors to get her physical? It should help things along greatly.”
“It’s next week actually. The day after we have the little get together, I’ve got to go to Rarity’s about getting an appointment for a fitting and a pick up for a new dress. I’ll be seeing you this weekend. Later Twilight, and thank you for being forgiving of Scootaloo. I bet she’ll appreciate it.”
Twilight waved farewell as Raindrops left the Library, Now onto Rarity’s. Hopefully I can get this little snafu cleared up since it sounds so unlike the Rarity I know to purposefully endanger anypony. And hopefully I can get some good dating tips out of her before the day is done.
Raindrops entered Rarity’s shop where she heard her yell out her from out of sight, “Welcome to Carousel Boutique, where every garment is chic, unique, and magnifique! I’ll be right up!”
A clattering of material was heard from the room behind the entrance, and a quick ruffling sound before a slightly haggard looking Rarity came out, “Hello darling, it’s been simply forever since we’ve had time to talk. What can I help you with?”
“Well I came here for a few reasons, but the foremost is something that’s a little private.” Raindrops said.
Rarity gave her a discerning glance before waving Raindrops to follow her. Walking toward the kitchen she turned to look over her shoulder, “Would you like a cup of tea?”
“That’d be nice, thank you.” Raindrops replied.
After setting down on Rarity’s light, oaken table Raindrops waited as Rarity got her tea ready. As she waited she went over everything in her mind trying to set up how to go about the upcoming conversation. She was so lost in her thoughts that she was startled when she heard Rarity cough to get her attention.
“So darling, what can I do for you?” Rarity asked.
“Well a few things. First and most important is something that Twilight is going to be coming over to talk to you herself, but I thought I’d bring it up to your attention,” said Raindrops , shuffling her cup idly from hoof to hoof across the table, “I went to Twilight’s earlier to talk about something I promised to talk to her about two days ago. When I went there I saw Spike and ended up giving him an inspection,” She took a deep breath readying herself for what she was going to ask when Rarity interrupted.
“How’s my little Spikey Wikey? Is he alright?” Rarity asked, the front half of her body leaning dramatically over the table.
“Well that’s the problem. Twilight said that you... Use him as a living pin cushion?”
“True, but he says that it doesn’t bother him, and he does have thick scales. He’d tell me if something was bothering him.”
“When I looked him over, he had holes in his scales, and a few of them caused chips. He said that it was causing him discomfort every now and then. He also mentioned that when he was in the lava pit during … the dragon migration, I’ll never get used to hearing about that. He mentioned that it caused him discomfort there as well. If the holes were any deeper the lava could’ve gotten past his armor, and who knows what would’ve happened.
Now I’m not blaming you for anything, I know you wouldn’t intentionally harm anyone. But I have to ask, why would you put holes in the natural defenses of anyone, much less a child? And why you didn’t notice the damage it was causing?”
“Well … I guess I never really thought about it. It was so convenient to have something that I could hold needles in while focusing my magic on my work. I never really thought about how it was affecting him. Yes, everypony knows about his crush to me, but that he’d ignore his own health and safety. To think that I hurt my poor Spikey Wikey,” Rarity said bemoaned before adding dramatically with a swoon, “Of! All! The! Worst! Possible! Things! This is the worst!”
“Since it was accidental, in that you didn’t know that poking a dragon full of holes was dangerous, and his guardian didn’t know what it was doing, all I’m going to say is that you be more careful with him, but Twilight wanted me to pass on a message that Spike and her are going to talk with you later,” Raindrops said, taking a drink of her tea.
“Most definitely! I have four years of accidental harm to make up for! With Celestia as my witness, he shall be the happiest dragon in all of Equestria! Now I just need to figure out how to fix this before I lose his friendship forever!” Rarity exclaimed, before remembering that Raindrops came for other business. Having a different problem to focus on while letting her mind stew over solutions for the bigger problem might be just what the doctor ordered. Giving her a discerning gaze, she added, “But now you came here for other business. What can I do for you?”
“Well two things, I needs a dress for next Wednesday and I never dated anypony before so I wanted to know if you could both make me a dress as well as maybe … probably give me dating tips?” Raindrops asked.
“Well darling, let’s get your measurements, and after I fix things up with Spike I’ll get you prepared for your special somepony. All I ask is that you tell me everything about your date!” Rarity said with a predatory grin.
Hopefully things get fixed with Spike, I hate seeing a child put in danger's way. Then there’s Scootaloo, if we can’t fix her getting her to fly and nopony adopts her what will I do? I can’t abandon her, I’ve taken care of lots of ponies but I’ve never raised one before. Could I do that for her? Could I be what she needs, or do I need to find somepony better than I could ever be for her? Raindrops thought to herself as she was led to Rarity’s work room.
good chapter
Well thanks for yet another great chapter
And for your introduction of cloud kicker, i liked it ... i even laughed my *** of at her granny chicken kicker
seriously though i wonder what her cuty mark looks like
PS: There was one little thing about cloud kickers introduction that ... not really bothered me but kind of came to my attention. That is her sister being an alicorn, so far i don't see any plot necessity for her "situation". If the following chapters should proof me wrong on this assumption ... simply ignore this part of my comment , if not i really don't see the point in making her an alicorn which are supposed to be a very rare breed.
Then again these are first world problems and won't change my view on how much i like your story, keep it up
Hope scoots ends up with Raindrops
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Thank you, as for the Chicken Kicker Cutie Mark.
archive.videogamesdaily.com/media/fable_aug04b/27.jpg
Upper right hand corner is what her cutie mark looks like .
3380159
if i may ask whos alula? do you have a story with an alicorn like that?
This is a pretty neat Orphan story. Hell you even mentioned Spike's living arrangements that seem to bother Spike fans like my self Anyway, MOAR!
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Princess Erroria was originally named Alula and was Cloud Kickers sister in the Sisterhooves Social. Originally her name was Alula but it's become a fan name to call her Erroria.
A good fic that has a non-Alicorn version in it can be found here. Good fic, well worth the read.
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I hope I pulled off that part of the story (brining up how Spike's treatment) in a tasteful way. It's actually something me and my editor spent a while compromising and working to get passable. Also if you like it than you're going to love the side story showing Twilight, Spike, and Rares big talk (which I'm going to make after the DT side-story in the works.)
It worked just fine. To me though, Season 3 had the worst Spike treatment from both the writers and possibly the ponies. But that is all up to you. 3380287
Beautiful.
pretty good story so far... though i gotta say at times raindrops can be a bit, well, like a mary sue... and her overprotectiveness can be a tad annoying. I know it's kind of in character, but try to have her more easygoing i guess about it, like... she's very serious and sensitive, and at times its annoying.... still a very good fic
Legal working age of 8? That's it. Equestria is now officialy a third-world country. And Twilight's approach "you are old enough to work, but not enough to read sensual fiction" kind of smells of bigotery. Also, Spike's position is closer to a slave than a servant - he doesn't get paid and has no word in who he works for.
What would the ponies Scootaloo 'stole' the money from could want atop of returning of the money? Child of that age can't be lawfully punished. If they demand community service from her, my faith in Equestrian society in your story will die for good. Why would she work for community which left her to starve.
Call my morals rotten, but I think that Raindrops is trying to fix something that isn't broken with making Scoots confess how she got the bits to survive.
I am liking how you are writing this story, it is bringing to light a lot of things that I thought was off from the show, as who would look after kids if they were not being loved, and Spike I never once thought anything of what the pins might do to him, then again I have never seen anyone say that Rarity was sticking them directly into his scales, I have read that she was puting them just under the scales.
I am going a bit off topic but it is hard to tell if spike has smooth scales or over lapping scales.
As for cloudkicker, I really like how you write her back story every other time she is some kind of whore or easy filly, I am happy to see that you are giving her depth of character and not following the norm
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Could you please explain how she's like a mary sue, and what could I do to make her less of one? I'll try to have her be more easy going in the upcoming chapters. While being sensitive and serious is part of my head canon for her, I'll make her lighten up here in later chapters since I don't want her to be cross the line from professionalism to anal. Especially when she starts dating and gets out of her semi-workaholic mind set.
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Sorry for the length of the upcoming reply. I wanted to answer all your concerns / statements, and it ended up kinda longer than I expected.
Before I start. I want to say that I like Spike and this isn't an insult on him. Technically in the show he's an eight year old dragon who depending on what canon you follow 1) was trained by Celestia and taught to use his fire as a mail service, and in S1E1 was working for her for who knows how many years; 2) Was raised by Twilight and decided to work for her as her number one assistant (either because he knew of pony mortality at a very young age and wanted innocently to help her; or was simply raised into servitude); or 3) (my head canon) Was raised by both Twilight and Celestia. With both home schooling, and raising him to work like he's been.
I agree he's treated like a slave, but my editor argued that it was more of a Servant since he's given room and board. As well as given gems from time to time (I argue that that's the same as food, but nonetheless his basic needs are met). As for bigotry, yes. He's constantly called a baby, but given work of an adult. The writers of him really make him less of a being and even more of a second class citizen than mules.
As for 3rd world. Not quite. The story is mostly a Medieval setting with some minor early industrial era technology. With the very rare 1950's - 1980's era technology sprinkled in. But it still is ran by a Medieval system of government / fantasy setting. So there aren't really child labor laws (technically In Canon the Mane6 are 16 and successfully own their own businesses and have adult jobs. InStory they are 20, with the CMC around 9/10).
As for Scoots confession. It's something my Editor have been talking about since chapter 3. As for the community service. On one hoof, yes the adults are going to feel like crap for not noticing sooner. And A lot of the blame will fall on them. But on the other hoof, that money was stuff they needed to pay for food, bills, necessities, and made up for a lot of them money that covered what their wares didn't cover. So basically yes, Scoots needed it to survive and is being taken into consideration. But it was also needed by them to sustain themselves.
As for paying it was to prevent legal action since yes. It was extenuating circumstances. But it was still theft, and the money needed to cover loss of profit would still need to come from somewhere. Hopefully that answers everything, and you're still going to enjoy the fic.
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In the episode where Rarity is jealous of Flutters. She yells "Pincushion!", Spike comes out with his back arced and the needles are in his body. Twilight asks if it hurt, and he replies [paraphrased] that he "has thick spikes, and even if it did hurt it would be worth it." I personally think that it'd be overlapping scales giving him a type of natural armor.
Thanks, I'm glad you liked how I wrote Cloud Kicker.
3382975 Given there is a position of civil servant, I assumed that the basic social laws were in place. But of course some issues might seem more important to the govenrment than other, so I can accept the lack of work regulation.
However, I would like to point out this:
Rarity can't be considered poor regardless of definition, so let's leave her out of this for a moment. 1,510 bits are left. That's about 6/10 of Raindrops' wages. The weathermare may be paid very well, let's exaggerate it and say that the average wage is 4 times smaller. That means that Scootaloo stole 2.5 of average wages in a span of 5 years which means 0.5 every year The amount needs to be further divided by number of ponies she stole from - Pinkie, Lyra, Bon Bon and if I remember corretctly you named few others. Suddenly the sum of money she stole doesn't look so lifethreatening, does it?
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That makes sense ont he scales, and I think you brought out the protective big sister/mother in twilight when she was being questioned about her treatment of spike.
I have also seen very few go into detail of why scoots can not fly, most just say she is not able but few gave reasons, one reason I found that was rather good, though I can not remember where I read it, that scoots has the proper wing strength but her body type was more in tune with an earth pony so she had the muscle density of a strong earth pony and it made her far too heavy for her wings at the time to lift her for more than a few moments.
I am looking forward to how you write out your veiw on her condition
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I know, but still it's something my editor wants seen. While spread over a large amount, as for "Vindication", it's much less civil service, and well ... what's planned will be spoilers. But it's something my editor and I have been talking about / leading up to over time. It's a surprise, but I hope that you'll like what ends up happening.
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I can tell you that her reason for not flying is a rather unique take on things. Two chapters from now you'll find out .
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I happily look forward to it
3382975 eh its not bad, mary sue was a bit of an exageration... her overprotectiveness just rubs me off the bad way, if you put it that way... but i'll wait and see i guess, i know it's too early to speculate, but her attitude annoys me but is put together well... just imagine me as this guy in a crowd of people i3.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/623/136/395.gif
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Lol . Well I can say that her negative personality flaw is going to be balanced soon. As it is she was kinda in work mode watching Ditzy's children, then finding Scoots, and getting everything ready (in a 3 day period), but now that things are mostly calming down. I'm going to work on fleshing her out.
Thank you for pointing out that I need to flesh her out more, and I'll try to make her a little more 3 dimensional in her personality .
normally I don't care about ages in fan fics. i've seen people put the mane 6 anywhere from 16-30 and the cmc anywhere from 6-14 and this doesn't bother me but why is granny smith 850? this means she was almost old enough to see Luna banished
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Winter Wrap Up transcript
And I could've sworn I read her age in a fic as that somewhere. So it became head canon for her.
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T'is not a guy a'tall! That's Miz Girl!
Anyways, this was another really solid chapter. There's a few questions I have burning, but those are likely to be addressed in coming chapters, so I won't voice them. There's a couple things I AM curious about, though, involving your headcannons. More or less, I'd just like some light shed on some things:
1) Alula's transformation ability
2) How ages work in your headcanon. Plants, etc. being able to grant extended life caused an eyebrow-cock from me. Grannysmith being 850? C'mon, now! (although goddamn, she looks it).
3) Whether you believe Alula and Cadance would be immortal alicorns.i ask, because in my own headcanon, Twilight and Cadance will live normal lives, maybe a little longer, as they were turned into alicorns by Celestia. Cadance was born a pegasus, as far as the Crystal Heart Spell book is concerned.
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1) Alula was in canon originally a card holder for name for Cloud Kicker's sister, as well as an Earth Pony, and a Unicorn. But an animation error in one of Twilight's Flashbacks shows her an Alicorn filly. And the fanon nicknamed her Princess Erroria and the name stuck.
In head canon. Alula was born an Alicorn, and biological Alicorn's go through a phase similar to magic outbursts from other pony type's (as infants. As well as that problem with both Pegasi + Unicorn uncontrolled burst of magic). Where their hormones go out of control starting and lasting (to one degree or another) throughout Puberty.
The hormonal changes cause a magical shift that transforms them temporarily into one of the three pony types. And at older ages they are able to shape shift at will. I don't know if I have Alula's mysteriously changing and disappearing Cutie Mark as head canon for all natural Alicorns or not.
2) Cadance in Canon was shown to age normally (in the Wedding episode durring the flash back she's shown to be around the same age as Shining Armor was during the Cutie Mark Chronicles) and in the "present" has been shown to age as much as Shining has. I am ignoring the book where she was "made" into an Alicorn since that was just a cop-out and lame.
My head canon will always be that Cadance was born, but due to watered down genetics, and the intermariage of pony types throughout the centuries. As well as not being a pure blooded Alicorn like 'Tia and Luna. She didn't inherit immortality (which is an inheritable trait).
So she's going to age normally and die with her husband like Hasbro intended. Completely ignoring the Mayfly Wedding fridge horror of immortals wedding mortals. As for Twilight, she wasn't made by Celestia. Technically (horrible writing and a cop-out by Fim Writing staff, just like the Crystal Heart Book should've never seen the light of day with Cadance's backstory. Cashing in on Twilight's transformation) the Elements of Harmony made her, and Celestia as well as Lulu would've never been able to know what that spell really did.
They were taking a guess, on top of grooming Twilight into a specific path, to stack the cards on what they knew of as a Destiny changing spell. But with a thousand + years of magical knowledge probably had a guess on what it could become. The Elements of Harmony on the other hand passed into her the magic of all 3 races, and remade her after giving her the choice on picking her destiny. Which ironically had Celestia hijack that plane of existence and give Twilight the nudge "she needed" to pick "the right destiny".
Not saying it was maliciously done, but still manipulated a pony's life to fulfilling either one branch of a prophesy, or manipulated a pony's life in order to make them choose to become an Immortal Alicorn so they would never have to be lonely anymore (only three immortals (not counting Dissy) forever is mighty lonely and seriously depressing. And Erroria being a foal still makes it hard to relate to. Especially if we veiw Tia as kind. Then she's giving Alula the life of a normal pony that she was never allowed to have. What with running a nation, battling super evils, and having thousands of ponies depending on your every action for thousands of years.).
3) In my head canon. Age is dependant on two things. 1) Amount of magic you have (either innately or through a magical artifact), as well as magical / herbal assistance. Magic being the life blood and a nescessity for all of Equestria's existance. Would determine how long a pony lives (Unicorns being the most magically powerful would live the longest on average; followed by Pegasi who use up, build up, and maintain a large amount of magic to do all that they do. But not as much as Unicorns; and Earth Pony's who usually (99.99%) use their magic passively would age at a normal human's age rate.). Of course this isn't taking into account disease, those with weak magic, accidents, or other things that could lessen a pony's lifespan, nor magical artifacts that would imbibe the user with additional magical energy increasing their lifespan.
Then you have your age spells, time magic, transformation spells, shape shifting, reality warpers, dimensional travelers, and various herbs that can do anything from re-grow entire bone structures (if it can be done to a tooth I don't see why it can't be done with enough skill for everything (like in Harry Potter)) to make ones greatest desire a reality. Than I don't see why their wouldn't be potions to stop aging. So age is less of a thing nature dictates, and more of a choice one makes. With naturalist thinking one shouldn't mess with aging, and ageist who think (and have the money / resources to back it up) who think aging should be done at ones own speed rather than natures.
Then you have the Element Bearer's. They aren't going to die either since in Head Canon the Elements have infinite magical ability's and can re-write timelines / reality to accomplish their end games. So having infinite magic in them would allow the users to stay young forever. Like a retirement bonus for being the physical component to their (the EoH's) spiritual half.
I hope that answers everything and I'm sorry this was an essay length reply. I kind of entered the Twilight Zone .
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Thanks for taking the time to stamp all of that out. While there's a few parts there that I respectfully disagree with, the point of using one's own headcanon as a basis for writing means accepting others' when immersing yourself in their own creations.
I'm just happy you didn't repeat the Winter Wrap-up thing as explanation for Granny Smith's age, since I assume that was Cindy Morrow being an idiot and forgetting to take WWU into consideration when she wrote FAD. I would have yelled at you and said 'your headcanon is bad and you should feel bad'
U DODGED A BULLET THAR
3459598 in my head canon, Tia and Luna are only god alicorns, and cadence is proto hipster, and twi is a unicorn :3
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FAD should have been a case for Cindy Marrow getting put in a burlap sack and beaten. And someone needs to invent Time Travel so that Season 3 can be rewritten. I only liked ... like 3 of the episodes but most were just horrible, or not canon imo. Since they ignore previous canon set up in earlier episodes. WWU on the other hand was almost rather decent and should've been taken into consideration when writing FAD.
And I'm glad I dodged a bullet . Otherwise I'd be sad and leaking red stuff all over the place.Or my delicious, helpful organs would be a few oz. lighter.
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FAD wasn't THAT bad! The whole episode had some legitimately funny moments, nothing too cringe worthy outside of Granny Smith's horrible voice at parts, gave Bloom a moment of clarity to how much she loved her grandma, gave Ponyville a believable back story, and had DT get comeuppance from a father who shoulda spanked that brat a long time ago. I just couldn't hate it ima sucker for feels.
loveing the story keep up the good work
When is update?
When is up date?
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Lots of IRL stuff going on (Work, Holliday prep, scheduling stuff, taking care of people, illness, ect.). I got 50 - 65% of it done, and tons and tons of editing (the most edited chapter to date. Even surpassing The Three Mages in editing). Mostly working on things that has risen complaints about lately. And trying to keep the Spirit of Pinkie Pie up without resorting to flanderization. But I did get a lot of work done on it.
Knowing that Scoots was taught by Dashie to cook, I think the Muffins will end up causing chaos to the town, only to be saved by Ditsy eating it.
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All I can say is that you will be surprised, and two hits. Ragamuffin, and Fireworks.
3606698 hey you do what you goda do i know how the whole skeg goes
The... social worker aspect is a bit odd... especially the whole "checking up on Spike" thing. That and... not to come off as brusque... but I would recommend finding another word other than "servant" for Spike... assistant, brother, heck even apprentice if needed... but Servant makes it sound so... so... I dunno... forced? other than that, great chapter!
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My editor and me had a talk about that as well (Not the social worker thing, since it's one of her job titles, as well as she just happened to stumble upon him.)
But as for Spike here's my logic.
1) The moment he was hatched (which would make him Twilight's son, or Twilight his mother), and he second he could start communicating. He was taught by Tia herself how to use Dragon magic to send messages, and was used by Twilight for menial labor, cooking, chores, and other things needed to free her schedule up for study, research, and classes. Taking away all the things in her life that would take time away from those. Heck the first time we see Spike he accidentally destroys a gift meant for someone else (since he was never given more than a single book that Twilight decided to give him (and from his unenthusiastic demeanor when he mentions that in canon it was without thought into what he'd like)), then without asking if he was ok was told to dictate a letter for Twilight and send it to the Princess.
2) When in Ponyville. He's mostly working some manual labor, with his only pay being food and board. The gems don't really count since he needs those for nourishment [he eats them], or preternatural sustenance [he hoards them to feed his dragon magic / health]. So he's not really a servant since he doesn't get paid, and even though he's called a baby dragon almost constantly is doing a job of an adult.
and
3) He never complains since he knows that (until recently) everyone including his mother was going to die on him. And he thought (in my head canon) that if he spoke up he'd lose that closeness. And since he was raised in that environment he doesn't know that there is another way to show love. At least not until Twilight decided to galavant with her friends constantly leaving him all alone to do the manual labor that he's always been stuck with until Twilight decided to get a second "helper" which really throws Spike's reaction to Owlicious in a newer light.
That's why I decided to go about it the way I did. And Rarity, Faust bless her has been leading that dragon along so that her life could be equally easier for the more difficult aspects of her job. And she doesn't really have to do or say anything more than "please" if that. Spike usually throws himself at her hooves like those nice guys who shower popular girls with gifts and labor so they'd give them a glance. With the same result basically. Which of course hits Rares hard when she sees that herself as well as learns that she's been causing him physical harm on accident.
I'm going to be making a side fic on this chapter soon. That deals with Twilight's revelations, and things being patched up with her, Rares, and Spike. Although it's going to have to wait until after Bon-Con-Ception!
Poor Spike...
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Agreed on all fronts. Of course, I think Spike's mistreatment in the show is intended to come off as comedy for the intended target audience, that being little girls and from an adult's perspective it's the exact opposite.
3380287 what do you mean by 'originally'? I know it's a very very old post, but I have always seen Alula as... Well Alula. Even just typing in 'Cloud Kicker's sister' brings up Alula. I have never even seen or heard of 'Princess Erroria' except in that wiki. Which I might add in not the Fandom as a whole... or a majority... or even a minority. It's 1 site/person.
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Actually typing in Alula brings up others that use Princess Erroria. And that Wikia is honestly what I use for most MLP things [and it's more than one person , it's an entire wikipedia of the fandom]. And by originally I meant that they had that as her name originally in all of the pages that had Alula before Erroria became the Reddit mascot pretty much. Which is even more people than one site.
Anywho, doesn't really matter. She's still all types of adorable.
You kind of missed one point. It was Twilight who hatched Spike. That technically makes her Spikes parent. At the very least Spike imprinted on Twilight which explains why he's so willing to do whater Twilight askes.