Artistic enthusiast. Anime Lover. Music Lover. Cartoon & Comic Connoisseur. An artists with many talents and tastes. Poet & Wordsmith that loves to write when inspiration finds him.
Having his feelings for Rarity go unrequited for too long , Spike and his unlikely accomplice Discord conceive a plan to use magic to transform Spike into the stallion of Rarity's dreams; but Spike soon learns that love is far more complicated than he anticipated.
Page generated in 0.096 seconds
Total duration
615 users online
1,151,723 hits today, 2,782,760 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
A few grammar mistakes and spelling errors but still a good read.
thank you It is my first one and I might need to have it proof read again from someone else but thank you
You should divide this into 3 chapters, 30k words is A LOT for a one-shot chapter.
3046198 hmmm u have a point , Thanks
You guys are great
Great story keep writing, ill come back for more!
Only read the first chapter so far, but I'm giving this a like because it shows promise.
I do have a few gripes though.
First off, it seemed to me that you were often switching between past and present tense. You should choose one and stick with it, it will make it easier for the reader.
Second, way too many descriptions. I felt that all those descriptions ruined the flow of the story, it was like each description was a pause away from the story, kind of like a commercial or something similar. I think that this is one of those times that you should "show, don't tell". I wish I could tell you how to do that, but I'm no writer myself, just read enough stories to know when something seems off.
Other than that and the usual spelling/grammar errors, pretty good story.
Will read the rest tomorrow, hopefully I'll be impressed enough to give a fave.
Keep up the good work.