I poni. I poni all over the place.
Amazing work. I can definitely see her using that brilliant mind of hers to pull something like this off.
This is a pretty cleaver fic
Oh, Rarity, you dirty little mare...
After several rough, nasty general fics these last couple of days... I needed this.
Though one of these days, maybe Rarity will settle for more than her mind... I'm sure somepony would appreciate it!
Very good read Sev, and quite an interesting idea, I don't think I've read a masturbation clopfic as good as this (I've only read like two other then this and they were fairly bland compared to this) I was confused at a few parts mostly at the beginning and when rarity "swapped" partners, although it might just be my inexperience with reading masturbation clopfics. I'd also like to mention I like how she had such a deep knowledge of how her "partners" would probably act with her.
All in all I say great work here, and I look forward to even more work from you owo
This story told how you think the characters would act in bed in great detail. I loved the story and am going to follow you. Thank you, good sir, and have a nice day.
Wow, that was hot. I can't help thinking an embedded image series would have worked really well for this story. Or perhaps not, if the point was to fantasise about it along with Rarity.
Just a few typos I noticed:
"Rarity knew that, and the misconception brought a small smiles to her lips."
"Nopony was watching. Be adventures. Have fun, Rarity."
"Her natural slick was being pistoned in and out as he moved and sputtering onto the floor,"
"But she would insist, and when that medial ridge stretched pass the strong pucker of her anus,"
>>30374523037452 thanks, fixed!
This was really good.
I like the light hearted tone of the story, and how well you narrated it, yet I keep feeling a small tingle of sadness for Rarity. After all, none of this is real, this is all happening in her imagination. It kind of shows how sometimes the most creative and inventive of individuals are also the loneliest, and they find comfort and company in their own creativity.
Kudos, Sev. Your clopfic had me thinking!
Wow. I came flying in from your tumbler after you posted that expecting a good read. But damn, this was fantastic. The amount of description in this blew me away.
Thoroughly enjoyed this, you captured Rarity's character brilliantly.
Hey, don't worry too much about the thumbs down. There's a cadre of ponies around here that automatically thumbs down anything cloppy. (Or, for that matter, basically anything.) Just keep in mind that less than ten downvotes is equivalent to zero.
"My STARS Darling!"
Or, in my own words, fantastic! I loved this, instantly Fav'ed and liked, and appropriate praise given.
Nothing more I can say.
>>30392453039245 That thought is basically the bitter cherry ontop of this delicious literary cream-cake.
You've really outdone yourself here Sev.
uh this like wow god damn
Holy. Fucking. Shit.
That was awesome.
In the beginning- you wrote- Mayer Mare. The correct spelling is Mayor Mare. Other than that, good. XD
Ok that was great xD
You know you can edit your posts to add any new information in, right? Should be a little icon that only appears on your own posts.
Luna, this was so hot!I don't think I've read a Rarity fic quite like this one.
(Though, that said, a few of the spelling errors threatened to pull me out of the story, but that's okay.)
That was... That's... It's.
>>30547923054792 HOLY MOTHER OF LUNA ITS BRONYCURIOUS
She'd looked all over Canterlot for a texture as perfectly real as this one.
That quest itself must have been more than a little bit amusing, especially given Rarity's sensitivity to her image, and that Canterlot is exactly where Rarity's trying to establish her reputation. Not that there's anything evil about buying a sex toy -- just potentially embarrassing. Rarity is very funny when she fears embarrassment. And no way, no how would she have brought either of her two best friends (*) with her on that mission, so she was probably doing this alone.
Rarity's of course teasing herself with the fear of discovery in her own house, especially by her friends. I actually think that they'd be a bit surprised at Rarity's toy collection, but I don't think any of them would despise her for it or gossip about it to strangers. Though I'm sure Rainbow Dash would laugh. A lot. A whole lot. (Oh, come on, this is Rainbow Dash!) But they all basically love Rarity and wouldn't really want to hurt her feelings about something so essentially personal and harmless.
Incidentally, my version of Rarity is the most sexually experienced member of the Mane Six. Which isn't saying that much, given that the Mane Six are obviously not that focused on their sexuality most of the times. But I think she gives off that air in canon, which is probably the same thing you were picking up on, and why you focused this particular story on her. (You'd probably be surprised who I think the next most experienced one is, but then I inflicted backstory upon her which is not even hinted at in canon, and which I haven't yet revealed in my fictions).
I find it interesting that your Rarity constructs very realistic sexual fantasies -- she thinks of details such as the fact that Shining Armor is probably well taken care of by Cadance and that Twilight would be knowledgeable but inexperienced (she's the least sexually experienced member of the Mane Six in my stories). This is wholly in character because Rarity's profession demands that she juggle a whole bunch of details including personal details in order to fill her orders.
There was no chance in Equestria Twilight hadn't dug through every book on sexuality in that library. She would know tricks Rarity didn't even have names for.
Agreed. Twilight could probably also give you the etymologies of the words and the histories of the social acceptability of the practices.
And I also think she's never even been romantically kissed. But when it comes to sexual theory ...
"Mannequin" ... technically, I think they call those things "ponyquins" or "ponniquins" (sp?) in the MLP:FIM verse. But I don't know if this is official. Anyway, this is all just a Translation Convention anyway.
"Deep inside, under all the bravado, all the daring-do and aerial amaze, Rainbow wanted to be controlled."
I think Rarity's actually right on that one. I also think that if Rainbow ever did get sexually-involved with Fluttershy, it would be Fluttershy who would be dominant in the relationship. That's quite common -- inverted sexual and social dominance. Also notice that when it's just Rainbow and Fluttershy in-canon, it's usually Fluttershy who gets her way. She uses passive-aggressive dominance to warp Rainbow around one hoof. Fluttershy's also the more attractive one, and IMO the more experienced one out of that pair.
Oh, and "amazement."
Rarity had very, very good Mannequins. They were resilient, soft, strong. And they cleaned up well.
Given that this is Rarity, I wouldn't be surprised if she didn't restitch them herself. Rarity is nothing if not a perfectionist.
Btw she'd have to clean them well, or everypony who walked into the shop would know exactly what she'd been doing with them. Ponies probably have better senses of smell than do Humans.
She had even gone though the effort of creating glowing bindings for the wings the manikin didn’t have. No point in playing the game if you weren’t going to play it well, after all.
Yep. She's a perfectionist. There's a very obvious alternate career path in here, but I'm pretty sure Rarity would scorn such as "un-fabulous."
Her cunt could fog a window from five feet away right now, and she was positively delighted at the mental image of that. Maybe ten feet. Even better. She might have tried it, but she was concerned it wasn’t actually true, and she rather enjoyed the fantasy of her potency at the moment.
Heh ... Rarity has a strong realistic streak even at moments of this sort ...
Her body wasn’t of natural cut.
"Natural" doesn't seem like a good word choice here -- you probably mean "standard" or "usual" or something like that. AJ's a freaking Amazon, and the only reason why TV Tropes won't let me classify her as an Amazonian Beauty (**) is that the standard animation models used by the studio don't properly render what is proabably an amazingly powerful yet supple musculature -- they usually don't do "subtle" character form design. If you look at what Applejack does in the action episodes, she's awesome in her sheer physicality. Oh, and in canon she's probably the second most beautiful member of the Mane Six, right after Supermodel Fluttershy.
I even have Nightmare Moon regarding Applejack with admiration in Nightmares Are Tragic. Luna in canon likes her in "Luna Eclipsed," and I've speculated that Princess Luna routinely recruited some of her best soldiers from the Apple Clan back during the Time of Thrones (YOH 1-500) when she had to fight a lot to unify Equestria and defend it against monstrous attack. Little Seed, mentioned in passing in [i]All the Way Back, is one of them: he's one of the many really dear friends who Princess Luna inevitably lost to mortality over the centuries. Because of him and others like him, Luna has a soft spot for the Apples.
He would dismiss her ass out of principal.
"... through every inch of withdraw ..."
"Withdrawal" is here smoother syntax
The white pony smiled as her pulse quickened, and the afterglow began to ramp up its intensity again. Maybe ten. She was Rarity, after all. Why settle for less?
Let's hear it for fabulosity!
Your style is getting a lot better and you are showing a strong grasp of character. This is a side of Rarity which she would not display save toward a beloved, and some of the fantasies in here are ones she might be embarrassed to reveal even in that situation, yet it's fully-consistent with canon Rarity. That's not easy to do -- most Pony erotic fiction fails precisely because they get the characterization dead wrong, resulting in a story about the characters in name only . You are to be commended for getting Rarity so right!
(*) Fluttershy is far more easily embarrassed than is Rarity, and Spike ... just no. Come to think of it, Spike spends a lot of time in Canterlot -- he'd be one of the people Rarity would be trying to avoid while doing this.
(**) They didn't complain about Stormfront, but then that Pegasus is as big as an Alicorn. Applejack's built more compact, though given that she's an Earth Pony, she's probably physically stronger than is Stormfront.