Equestrian Aviation

by MrTyreste

When I'm flying...

When I'm flying, I feel like I can do anything. I forget about my life outside the Air Force, my single lifestyle, my days as a cashier at the local gas station. No, when I'm up here in the air, in this old F-22, I can look down at my old life and just laugh. Because up here, I'm untouchable. A couple thousand feet above the world, I'd like to see my old manager's face try and call me useless now. I'm making about half what he makes and I just started about two years ago? It feels longer than that, probably because of BMT at the Air Force Academy. Oh, I should probably concentrate on what I'm doing. I'm about 10,000 feet in the air over the capital of Colorado, it's probably best that-

"Yo, Miller, you jacking off in there or do you think you could finish testing the new Raptor sometime before you run out of fuel?" A voice comes over the radio as the pilot nearly jumps out of his seat. It was one of the people from the command center, needing him to test drive one of the newer planes that had just been manufactured.

"Uh, sir that's highly inappropriate for the radio." Colton Miller, a Lietenent of the USAF, smartly responds.

"Lietenent Miller, this is Master Sargent Jeremy Phillips, you are requested to return to base, over." A cooler, albeit older voice comes over the two-way radio. "Sorry for the vernacular before, Polanski is getting impatient." A static, but clearly distinguished group of laughter is heard over the radio as Colton only smiles.

"Understood sir, Lietenent Miller returning to base." He said as he angled the flight stick higher towards the air.

Right after a little trick... He thought to himself as he felt the F-22 Raptor begin to climb altitude. Slowly he could feel himself turning up higher and higher until he felt himself become completely vertical in the air. However, as he began to climb, a short spark erupted from the flight controls, causing the plane to fall from altitude.

"Lietenent Miller, you seem to be dropping altitude, is there a problem?" Jeremy calls over the two-way.

"I don't know, the controls just stopped working!" He cried. He tried his best not to panic. This was what he was trained for. He had pulled out of his fair share of malfunctions, but this one was different. He had been warned that the F-22 Raptor was a bit glitchy after the recent upgrades, but he had never stopped to ask how. "I don't know if I can pull out of this one, neither the console nor the flight stick are responding properly and I'm losing altitude fast. The engines are still going strong and I'm falling down at an angle. Estimated impact time in-" Before he could finish he felt the plane begin to grow seemingly tighter around him. His entire world became silent as he awaited his end at the controls of the thing he loved most. This was it, was all he could think while time seemed to slow down and his world turned to black.

---

"For the last time, Rarity, I said no!" Rainbow Dash blurted out at the fashionista pony who was trying desperately to get her friend to try on a new style of dress she had designed.

"But darling, you only get invited to a royal ball once in a lifetime!"

"Rarity, you and I both know that's not true." She raised an eyebrow, noticing Rarity completely forgetting their invitations to several high class parties in Canterlot, being bearers of the Elements and all.

"Well, er yes." Rarity said, slightly losing her composure for a second. "But this will be the first one that you yourself have been invited to, on your own merits as one of the newest members of the Wonderbolts! Oh I can simply see it now, you strutting in, wearing an absolutely gorgeous ensemble, on the arm of a dashing young-"

"Exactly, Rarity! I have to bring a date, Spitfire said it's practically expected. You and I both know that it's not happening." She said defiantly as she stomped her hoof in protest. "We're going the whole nine-yards, even renting out one of the fanciest hotels in Canterlot for the couples only! As in, same bedroom, same bed, sleeping, together!" Rainbow tried to make a suggestive gesture with her hooves, but it only ended up looking like she was trying to knock them together at an awkward angle. "Oh you know what I mean!" She sat down, looking pitiful as Rarity continued designing the dress.

"Rainbow, if you're uncomfortable with the idea of possible intercourse for the evening, why not take one of us with you instead? I'm sure I could make time in my schedule for you. I'll bet even Fluttershy would be more than happy to attend, being a fellow Pegasus and all." Rarity offered, trying to console her friend.

"It's not that I'm uncomfortable with the idea, I mean I wouldn't mine...you know?" She said awkwardly as she brushed the back of her neck with her hoof, Rarity listening intently. "But it has to be someone I trust. Whether something did happen or not, I'd want to have zero regrets after all is said and done. And no offense, but I got enough of the 'filly-fooler' stuff back in Flight School. I love you girls to death, but I don't want to dig up any hatchets that may have been buried over the years." She explained as Rarity stiffled a giggle over the awkward turn of phrase.

"I completely understand, Rainbow Dash, if you'd like I could try to find a date you could drag along. You could even screen him and get to know him before hand. The annual Royal Guard's ball is about two months away, you said? That should be plenty of-"

*BOOM*

An enormous sonic boom erupted from outside as the two mares fell backwards into the piles of fabric and figures. Looking at each other puzzled for a few moments, Rainbow Dash was the first outside to investigate the explosion. There, on the horizon, was a sonic boom even bigger than any of the ones she had produced. Unlike her Sonic Rainboom, this one looked completely on fire and was nearly three times as loud as anything she had ever done. The shockwave alone was practically lifting roofs off of houses and tree leaves from their trees.

"Look, up there!" Rarity called out as she pointed towards the event, a pair of binoculars to her eyes. Rainbow Dash grabbed part of them and held one of the lenses to her eye, beholding the sight before her. A dark blue stallion with a white mane was hurtling down towards the Everfree Forest, followed by what looked like a metal monster set on fire.

"If that thing lands on top of him, he could be smashed to pieces!" Rainbow Dash darted towards the falling pony and debris, intent on saving his life.

---

What's going on? Colton thought to himself as he felt the cool breeze flow across his face. "Am I flying? This must be one of the topless models I kept hearing about. Thought that was just an academy joke. Heh, well I guess I'll head back to the-" He stopped to look down at where the controls should have been only to find a pair of hooves where his hands once were.

"What the fuck?!" He shouted as he noticed he wasn't in a plane, and that his hands were replaced by blue forelegs and white hooves. "Am I a fucking horse?!" He kept looking himself over, horrified to find his once hardened, military body had been replaced with something out of a little girl's coloring book. "Ok, keep in together, probably just a bad dream, too much vodka at the lounge last night." He laughed as he turned around.

And was met by the hellish visage of a F-22 Raptor on the verge of combusting even further behind him.

"Yeah, this better be a dream, or this is coming out of my salary. Forget Article-15, they'll have me paying them until I make Captain." He said snarkily as he continued to fall.

"Hold on!" A tomboyish voice came from behind him as a rainbow blur pulled him out of the way and into the safety of the trees. "Wait a minute..." The cyan pegasus looked him up and down. "You've got wings, why didn't you use them?!" Before she could finish her rant, she felt the entire tree shake as the plane hit its mark, sending up a good several meters of Everfree in smoke and fire.

"Lucky it's by a river, otherwise the fire would spread and cause unnecessary damage." Colton stood up, trying to get the hang of his new four legs. Good thing those storm clouds are rolling in from the South, we won't have to worry about putting the flames out manually. Thanks for the save, miss, but I probably would have woken up from the impact." He said with a know-it-all attitude that made Rainbow want to both laugh and punch him in the face for.

"Uh, and you are?"

"Lietenent Colton Miller, pilot in the United States Air Force. May I ask who you are?" He offered a hoof to her.

"I'm Rainbow Dash. Newest member of the Wonderbolts and captain of the weather team in Ponyville."

"Ponyville? Wow, I really hit the stuff hard last night. I don't even remember what I had for breakfast the day before. Weird." He laughed. "Some dream, huh? You know for a horse you actually look pretty cute. You wouldn't mind maybe getting a drink later, would you?" He grinned as Rainbow Dash blushed slightly.

"Well, cassanova, as tempting as that sounds, you're not dreaming." She bumped his hoof slightly. "I don't know what the United States are, but I bet you'll fit in with the other Pegasi here in Equestria. That sonic flameboom was simply awesome!" She comically tried to come up with a name for the "trick" Colton had just performed.

"Wait, I thought this was Ponyville." He said confused.

"Well, Ponyville's the name of the town I live in. Equestria is the name of this country." She explained. "Well, really I'm from Clousdale, but there's a bunch of cities like Manehatten, Fillydelphia, Maretropolis, Canterlot, hey you don't look so good." She observed as the stallion began to rock back and forth.

"Oh fuck me..." He cursed as he fainted, and hit the ground hard.

"Dude, we just met." Rainbow Dash stated bluntly.

Comments

[Sabban]

A member of the United States Air Force is accidentally sent to Equestria during a flying mission, and wakes up as a stallion who has no memories of where he came from,

EVERY. FUCKING. THING I HATE.

[MrTyreste]

3026031 Why would you even click on a story you hate? What purpose could that possibly serve? Unless you're one of those ponies who sees it as their mission to downvote every story they dislike so nothing that doesn't meet their fancy never sees the light of the front page I'm drawin a blank here.

[MidnightLunaRunner]

"Oh fuck me..." He cursed as he fainted, and hit the ground hard.
"Dude, we just met." Rainbow Dash stated bluntly.

OMG!! I died laughing