Dan & Pinkie VS
Chapter 12- Anime and A Bad Hair Day!
It was finally spring season in Japan, and with it came the blossoming of the Sakura trees. An event celebrated everywhere in Japan, but for two best friends in the Mashinima district, this year’s blossoming of Sakura would be anything but traditional.
“God! I can’t believe I got dragged into this stupid bull****!” said the shortest one of the friends. He was a bearded high school student, wearing the traditional high school uniform, except his was white instead of black or dark blue. “This is all your fault, Matto!” His firely personality and short temper was reflected on his scalp were his orange red hair was showing an advance case of balding despite him being 17.
“I didn’t want you to come either, Pato!” Matto, short for Masshu, replied annoyed to his red haired friend Pato, short for Patorikku.
Matto looked the opposite of his friend. He was taller and wore all black; black hoodie, black cargo pants, black shoes and black cap with a skull in it.
“It was Merika-chan who wanted you to come along!” at the mention of his girlfriend, Matto’s annoyance fade away, replaced by a silly grin.
“God, kill me now! I don’t want to spend my free day watching you two ogling each other.” The red head almost gagged at the mental imagery.
“You are just jealous of me!” Matto said full of himself. And who wouldn’t? Merika-chan was the cutest girl in school; and the hottest too. No other girl in school could compare with the American girl’s J-cups.
Pato just groaned and continued walking besides Matto, he was already preparing himself for what would surely be a LONG day.
Unbeknownst to both high-schoolers, a set of eyes was watching them get closer and closer to the entrance of the Sakura Tree Park. Once the two of them were a few meters away, the hidden stalker made its move.
“Move away, dumbass!” Pato yelled as he pushed Matto out of harm’s way away. He had noticed a strange movement from the corner of his eye and let his survival instincts overtake him.
“Dude! What the F…?!” The boy in the floor began but his words were stuck in his throat when he noticed the thing that was impaled where he was standing a second ago. It was a massive spear imbedded in the ground which opened cracks all over the street. “What.The. Fuuuu…?!”
A second later a figure wearing a hat came walking out of the park’s entrance carrying a tied-up girl over his shoulder like a potato sack.
“Matto-Kun! Pato-San! Please help me!” Cried out the very buxom blond American girl in English, still the high-schoolers didn’t need to be fluent in English to understand what she said.
“Stop you bastard! Who the hell are you and what do you want with MY girl!” yelled out Matto in anger and indignation.
The hat wearing creep turned his head back toward the teens and gave them a smile that would make small children cry. “Don’t worry, Boy! I shall return her once I’m done with her!”
“What the **** does that mean? You bastard!!”
The kidnapper ignored the black-clad teen’s outburst and turned his head to the side and talk to seemingly thin air. “Let us go, Hachūrui!”
Then, out of thin air, a black and green-clad ninja appeared. With a nod, the ninja put its hand on the hat creep’s shoulder and vanished away with a high-speed technique.
“Did you see that s***!?” Pato asked with his eyes widen. “That ninja was ******* INVISIBLE!” he continue with excitement in his voice, like a kid opening a present on Xmas.
“Forget about that! We need to rescue Merika-chan from that Hat Creep!” Matto declared with fire in his eyes. He was going to get back his girl no matter what.
“Yeah, That was totally R***-culture right there!”
“Come on dude! Let’s go!” Matto said while dragging his friend the arm.
“Shouldn’t we call the police or something?” The red head asked out loud, why would high-schoolers have to deal with a kidnapping when that was supposed to be the Law’s job?
“There’s no time!”
“Ok, fine!” Pato said reluctantly, “But I’m only coming just to kick someone’s ass and maybe meet that invisible ninja!”
Will Masshu and Patorikku be able to find Masshu’s girlfriend in time? Who are these mysterious opponents and what are their intentions? Find out next time in the next episode of Sūpā• Besuto• Furenzu.”
Then the credits rolled. Showing all the people who worked on the show, but a name that caught the most attention was that of the writer who instead of using a real name, it went with the alias XeroM 52.
-
“Woooh! That was awesome!” Pinkie yelled out excitedly jumping up and down on her seat.
Next to her was Elise who was much less excited than her pink haired friend, but was in a good mood nonetheless. “Gotta admit! I wasn’t sure at first with all the swearing and misogynistic undertones, but this show kinda grows in you.”
“And that was just the beginning of the second season! I can’t wait for more!” Pinkie really loved this show. Despite that she just recently discovered it.
While navigating through the internet, she just happened to catch an episode and liked it so much she had to go out and buy the entire 5 seasons on DVD to watch it with her friends.
Since each season consisted of 12 episodes each, she decided to have a marathon with Elise to watch the whole first season at her friend’s house. Of course with the original Japanese dub and subtitles on. Elise didn’t mind since she was very fluent in Japanese…and almost any other language there is.
After 4 consecutive hours, they reached the beginning of the second season.
“Masshu is so cool! And I’m glad he finally became a couple with Merika-Chan in the first season finale!” She was so happy for him, he really deserved it after all the troubles and fight he had to go through just to win her love.
“Don’t forget Wūrii! Despite been the antagonist the very first 5 episodes, he came back at the end to help in the end!” Elise liked Wūrii, thought he may seem like a punk and a big brute, under the tough exterior was a heart of gold shrouded in a tragic past.
“Though I still don’t know what secrets are behind Riamu-Senpai, I hope he has a more prominent role this second season!” though Riamu had a very minor role, Pinkie really though his character had much potential. “Riamu-senpai is so kawaii!”
“Yeah, and Pato is …umm…” Elise didn’t know exactly what to say about the red head, he was his least favorite character despite him being the second main character in the show.
“HE’S THE BEST!” declared Pinkie with enthusiasm to spare. “I don’t know what it is about him that makes me like him so much!”
Elise rolled her eyes at her friend; she had a slight clue about why Pinkette liked that character so much. “Is it because he reminds you so much of Dan, doesn’t he?” Elise wasn’t surprised one bit when Pinkie’s cheeks turned red at her insinuation.
“N..n..no! It isn’t like that!”
“Pinkie” Elise said before sighing loudly, “We have talk about this before, if you like him so much, why don’t you confess to him already?”
Pinkie remained quiet for a few seconds while she thought of an answer. “I-I want to keep things slow…” she finally answered, “I don’t want to rush things and ruin what we already have, you know. I don’t want things to become awkward between us.”
Elise blinked a few times while processing Pinkie’s explanation. Pinkie, the exuberant and always smiling party planner, feeling unconfident was a very rare and weird sight indeed.
“I understand that, but if you keep things slow for too long, you might lose the chance to tell him what you feel.” With the kind of lifestyle Dan has, one of these days he might end up killing himself and the only way of identifying him being with his dental records.
Silly, Elise. She didn’t know that Dan didn’t have dental records after he defeated his dentist and stopped him from taking over the world.
“Hey, Elise! Why don’t we jump into the next episode?”Pinkie said obviously trying to change the subject. But Elise didn’t press the issue any further. Then from the Pinkette’s stomach came a loud sound. “I think I need to refresh myself, before the next episode.” And with that she stood up and walked to the bathroom down the hallway.
“Yes, you go do that.” Elise said slightly amused. Now all those sweets her friend ate were coming to get back at her. “I better get more snacks; she’s going to come back hungry for more.”
As Elise was ready to sit down again alongside more bags of chips and candy, Chris came through the front door looking bummed-out.
“Hard day at work?” she asked at her husband who went directly to the couch and opened a bag of chips.
“I was fired today,” he told her with a clear sense of defeat, “alongside 5 other people, budget cuts and all that.” Then he took a handful of chips and ate them like it was nothing.
“Oh, honey, I’m so sorry to hear that!” Elise approached her depressed looking husband and sat next to him.
“Don’t worry; I’m kind of glad, actually” Chris said looking at the positive side of things, “telemarketing is a very thankless job anyway!” Those long hours sitting behind a desk just calling and calling, and calling. It was better this way.
“I’m sure soon enough you’ll find a job that will make you happy!” Elise reassured Chris by massaging his back.
“Thanks Elise.”
Of course, this tender and quiet moment couldn’t last, because the very next second, Dan came barging in screaming bloody murder.
“LOOK AT WHAT HE DID TO ME! I’M A MONSTER!!!”
After a whole 5 minutes of constant screaming, Dan calmed himself enough to explain the situation, while Elise fought back her giggles and not laugh at Dan’s face.
“I’m telling you! I didn’t do anything to him, that barber did this to me for NO reason!” came the indignant voice of Dan. He lets his guard down for one second and now he looked like a freak that makes babies cry.
“I’m sure if you think hard enough you can come up with something.” Muttered Chris knowing full well how Dan never acknowledges how his actions may affect the people around him and how can it come back to bite him in the butt.
“Dan, you don’t look THAT bad!” Elise reassured the angry little man while keeping her neutral façade, while on the inside she was keeping the laughter at bay.
“Grrr! You don’t understand HOW bad this is!” the rudely pointed his finger to Elise, ”that barber ruined my plans for a date!”
“I’m sure that…wait! A DATE?!” Elise asked surprised, did Dan was finally going to ask Pinkie on a date? That was such great news!
“Yes, a date! You act like I’m incapable of getting one!” Dan said while crossing his arms annoyed, ”What have you been telling her, Chris?” He shot a glare at Chris who just raised his hands to put a barrier between him and Dan’s ire.
“I was just surprised!” admitted Elise, “I’m happy that you are finally going to ask Pinkie on a date! I’m sure she won’t mind what kind of haircut you got!” Pinkie was going to be so happy that she would ignore anything else. Heck she might even cut her own hair just to make Dan feel better about himself.
“What are talking about?” Dan replied with utter confusion, “I’m not going to take out Pinkie! Are you crazy or something?”
“What?” Chris and Elise both asked at the same time. If it wasn’t Pinkie, who then? Dan really didn’t know any other women. Or women that didn’t ran away from him at his mere sight.
“I got a date with this girl Becky I met at Ninja Dave’s shop.” Dan told them feeling very full of himself, “and she totally fell for the ‘Dan Method.”
Elise was going to ask what the ‘Dan Method’ was but she stopped herself a second later. She was better off not knowing.
“And I was going to take her to the movies! ‘A Fist Full of Brains’ a zombie spaghetti western, and that’s a cinema sub-genre that both of us like. In fact I found out we had a lot of things in common”
“Pinkie likes that kind of movies too.” Elise pointed out. Pinkie had a lot of things in common with Dan too. ”Why didn’t you invite her?”
“Why do you keep bringing her up? We’re talking about me not her!” Really, how rude could you get? Here he was telling them his problems and Elise wanted nothing more than change the topic.
“Because you should’ve asked Pinkie out first!”
“And why would I do that? I mean, seriously, she is like… a female Chris to me!” Dan laughed while pointing at Chris with his thumb. Chris just kept quiet and didn’t say anything. He didn’t know who to feel about that statement. “You’re acting like I have feelings for her or something.”
“You don’t?” Elise asked in bewilderment. After all the things they have done together, all the time she saved his sorry butt, he didn’t felt something for her? Not even a little? She even brought him back from death, for god’s sake.
“No! Don’t be ridiculous” he finished off by laughing as if even the mere thought of it was a joke.
Elise was about to rebut to that, but the sound of something hitting the ground stopped her from that. It must have been something small, perhaps a frame from the hallw…
SHOOT! She completely forgot about her! Elise rapidly stood up and walked into the hallway where she found Pinkie putting back a small picture frame in its place.
“Pinkie?” Elise asked tentatively as she slowly approached her friend, “Are you…?”
“I’m fine!” Pinkie responded before Elise could finish her question, “I’m sorry about the frame!”
“Don’t worry, about that, Pinkie.” Elise knew by pure body language alone that Pinkie was very tense and holding herself back from crying. That and the small crack in her voice helped too. “Are you…?”
“Sorry Elise…I…forgot I had something today…maybe…we…could…meet again some other time.” Pinkie said with great difficulty, she couldn’t keep the façade anymore, she was about to break any second now. “Goodbye!”
And with that she ran towards the door and never looking back.
“Pinkie!” Elise tried to stop her but Pinkie was faster than she thought, because she was already inside her car with the engine on.
Before Pinkie steeped on the gas pedal full force to leave as fast as she could, Elise saw the tears already spilling out like a broke dam.
After Pinkie was long gone, Elise remained at the front door with a feeling sad for her best friend.
“What was that all about?” asked a very confused Dan once he saw Elise enter the house. He didn’t really see anything just a blur that passed behind him.
“That was Pinkie!” Elise said sending a very clear glare at Dan. Next to him Chris put his hand over his mouth as he gasped for air. Pinkie was there the whole time and she heard Dan said all those things?
“Pinkie?” Dan repeated back with a slight tone of surprise that reduced Elise’s anger a few notches. If he really felt sorry for what he said and apologized maybe she could spare him. “She left without even said goodbye? Just how much more rude can she get. Am I right?”
In a blink of an eye Elise went from one side on side of the living room to the next and held up Dan by the collar of his shirt with one arm.
“Hey what the heck, Elise!” Dan cried out in surprise while he try to get out of her grip.
“You inconsiderate bastard!” she snarled at him, making both men in the room gasp in surprise. Elise never cursed like that, ever. “I should make everyone a favor and put you down on the deepest, darkest hole in the ground where nobody else would ever found you!”
“Elise, please calm down!” begged Chris who had never seen his wife this angry in his entire life. “There’s no need to kill him. Besides, no matter how upset Pinkie is right now, she would be even more upset if she finds out one of her friends murdered another.” Chris knew Elise was upset on behalf of Pinkie, so if she believed her action may upset Pinkie further that would be enough to calm his wife down.
Elise began taking very long and deep breath while she thought about Chris’ words. It took her a solid minute to finally let go of Dan, who fell right on his butt. “Oww!”
Then Elise turned around and walked towards the TV where the DVD player was at. She pushed the eject button a little harder than necessary and took out a disk to put it back inside a case. After she was done she walked in front of her husband and said, “I’ll be back in a moment. Make sure he leaves the house by then or I will not be held responsible for my actions.” And with that she began her walk towards Pinkie’s house.
As soon as Elise was out of hearing range, Dan recovered is ability to speak.
“What just happened?”
“I think I just saved your life!”
Poor Pinkie
Typical Dan. No worries, we all know what happens next with his date.
Sadly, that in itself is another typical case, though that applies to the world of dating/relationships.
Pinkie dont cry
Isn't Elise dead? or am I just missing something?
All these damn reference's to those guy's.
3297464
u missed the part where the author pretty much just minded fucked us for fun
Keep them, they are part of what makes this fic.
sad
Darkus: Keep them!
What he said.
Keep them it adds to the fun of reading this fic!
3297464 read previous chaps. he made it non canon
3297473
Matto? Patto? Sounds really familiar.
3297698
U know who they are
*Cracks knucks*
It's time to destroy. Look forward to tomorrow...
... I wonder...
*evil grin*
Just a suggestion...
Ever heard of the Yogscast and their main mascot who also happens to be the owner of one of the largest dirt manufacturers in the world and whose slogan is "Big money, Big women, Big fun," Super awesome guy Sips?
Yes... he is a jerk.
Yeah... I have a problem. Don't do that. It's way too silly. Seriously.
3297367
Yes. Poor her.
3297442
Dan really displays the logo of his shirt in this chapter.
3297459
Too late for that.
3297498
I know...
That intro is the hypest shit though I am a bit confused. Did you put Woolie and Liam in there too? Also, poor poor Pinkie but I expect Pinkamena to pop up and show Dan the error of his ways.
3297473
I love those guys.
3297698
Those wierd japanese names all sound very alike.
3297890
Sorry, I don't follow those guys...So i have no idea who they are.
3297798
MoreX: Oh God! Why is he still angry? we didn't do anything to incite his anger this time!
XeroM: Your face makes him angry.
MoreX: This is it! Tomorrow we are going to die!
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Now that that's out of the way. I'm glad that you are going to update despite some recent events and the tight schedule you probably have. I can't wait for tomorrow!
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MoreX: Uh? XeroM? Who said that just now?
XeroM: I have no idea.
3297946
Woolie and Liam, are Wurii and Riamu-sempai. Thoght I didn't write scenes with them, they have appeared in the 'anime'. Woolie was the main antagonist for the first couple of episodes but turn a leaf at the end of season one. And Liam is a minor role that will probably have a more prominent role later on.
But the question is: would I keep writing two best friends the anime into this fic? Probably not...that intro was just for fun, I don't have formal plans for it to appear again.
Lack of meds certainly make interesting chapters.
Did they already watch the episode where Wūrii chooses to hang out with his friend Mahvel instead of two sexy ladies?
3297953
You should add in Woolly.
Aw man, I didn't get the Two Best Friends reference until I checked out that Deviantart page.
And then, once I did, I screamed "MERIKA!!!"
Oh god I love Matt and Pat. MURICA IS THE BEST!!!
That's it! Party at Dan's house tonight! Oh did I say party? I meant ANGRY MOB!!! Who wants in!?
Let be....let it be
Good portion of drama and tears.
A nice way to spice up a comedy.
(and I love when people suffer)
Character act like they shoud (in my point of view).
This chapta was good!
Im really happy to see the story back up to foucusing more on pinkie and dan!
Anime, you say?
3298178
MoreX: Hey! I resent that!
XeroM: Yes! The test already said that we have no problem at all.
3298584
That was next episode.
3298637
'MERIKA!!!
3298878
I love those guys too.
3298910
That's probably a bad idea, Mr. Mumbles is going to be there...and nobody messes with her owner.
3299253
In all romantic comedies, there must be misunderstandings and some heartbreaks...just look at School Rumble.
3299396
Yeah......Like I said in some comments, the whole road trip arc, wasn't suppoused to exist at all. I just wrote it so I could write ch 10 and mess around with you guys. I really went the extra mile for just a prank.
3299491
Cool! But my favorite anime of all time still is this:
3299810 What's that about?
Poor Pinkie
Scary Elisa
Not a bad chapter.
Good luck best wishes.
3300134
There is this guy name Harima Kenji who is in love with Tenma Tsukamoto, but Tenma is in love with Ouji Karasuma. Shenanigans ensue.
(it's better than it sounds)
3300490 Meh. Doesn't interest me.
Don't get me wrong, I love romance, but this seems like your plain old school romance show.
I prefer something like Eureka Seven or Heaven's Lost Property or Bleach. And Deadman Wonderland too.
3300499
I'm not really a fan of high school romances either. But SR is different.
Though I admit it isn't for everyone, you should give the 3 first episodes a watch then decided for yourself.
I watched it thanks to a youtube comment, I have never regretted that desicion.
3300541 Maybe. Eh, I'll put it in my watch later list.
Awww poor Pinkie.
Though I would watch the shit out of a Two Best Friends anime. Well, as long as Zubaz shows up at some point.
The end of the first season is the beginning of Double Dragon? Next will be stealth with Mato hiding under coats like a cardboard box.
There is something love that when you talk about it with others, it won't go in your favor. I know those feels.
Elise acts as though Dan knew that Pinkie liked her or somesuch. Or saw/heard how she was feeling on her way out the door/at all. Or like Dan was the one who continued trying to bring Pinkie into the conversation.
Geez. Not that Dan chose the best words, but how the hell was he supposed to know?
3298051
So the two best friends anime is going under a pile of coats?...
3302077
And THAT, my friend, that entire roller coaster of emotions is the WHOLE reason why I wrote the entire Road Trip arc.
Don't worry, next chapters are back to basics.
I think this is the first I've ever heard/read the word, "Bastard" in anything "Dan vs." related, that even counts for fanfics as well
3302504
That's why Dan and Chris are so surprised, in their world there is no cursing unless it is censored in some for or manner.
Oh god, the opening to this chapter makes me wonder how well a Two Best Friends anime would work. (Answer: Would work pretty damn well.)
P.S. Pato is my favorite too, Pinkie. And keep your characters in, man.
On another note, poor Pinkie... though it was kinda to be expected with someone like Dan. Elise was basically trying to ship him (how ironic! ).
3304630
It's to expected...but don't worry Chapter 12 is back to basics!
3303741>>3303778
Yes, theri Zibatsu must rise to the heavens!
As for Elise...she cares deeply for Pinkie, being her only friend. In the show she doesn't really interact with anyone besides Chris and Dan, mostly because of her work. So here now that Pinkie became a part of her life she would try to keep her "safe" and help her anyway she can.
Ans since Pinkie has shown an interest for Dan, she believes that by paired them up, she could make Pinkie happy and make Dan change his ways.
3304703
I can understand that, but at the same time, nobody can exactly force a person to have feelings for another. Especially Dan. Elise may have gotten Pinkie's hope up too much while full well knowing how rarely caring for others Dan can be. I mean, we've only ever seen him try and get with two female characters throughout the series (or at least as far as I've seen). Kinda the same reason why I hate seeing people whine about being "friendzoned". Love's a bitch (excuse my language), but maybe this is just my opinion.
But enough of my griping, great chapter.
poor Pinkie
I just want to jump in the story and give her a big hug.
*tries to jump into story* Ow! Computer screens hurt....Dang...not in it yet.