She really thought of me as just a child all this time? thought Spike as the river of tears flowing from his eyes started to grow thinner. She didn't even consider being with me! "I've chasing after my own tail now for months," he said silently. "And for what? Nothing!" he shouted the last words to the lake that was in front of him. "I'm so pathetic..." he mumbled softly to himself.
******
"How could they have disgraced us in such a way!" exclaimed the first diamond dog, the leader, his eyes carefully following two ponies as they galloped through the forest.
"Yeah!" added another. "Nobody messes with us!"
"Master was so angry!" said the third.
"We will kill them slowly," said the leader. "Show them our superiority. They will be sorry they ever stepped paw into our tunnels!"
******
Twilight and Applejack galloped side by side into a large clearing. Twilight was beginning to run out of breath as the orange pony pulled ahead. "Apple...Jack...slow...down!" she panted. Applejack let the unicorn catch up and they both slowed to a trot.
"Wow, so Spike's nineteen years old?" asked Applejack.
"Yup," replied Twilight flatly.
"And to think, I always thought that he wasn't much older than Applebloom!"
"But Applejack, he's been so hard-working and helpful to all of us! Remember when he helped you out when you were making preparations for the Apple Family Reunion? And how he's always being Rarity around the boutique? And the time he saved The Crystal Empire?"
Applejack blinked. "I guess you're right. But he really didn't seem nineteen when he was trying to help me out at anything he could after I saved him from the timberwolves."
"Actually, I never really understood why he kept, uh..."
"Screwing up all the time?"
"Yeah. I mean, he does hours of chores everyday back at the library."
"Really? I mean, I knew he did chores, but hours?"
"Uh-huh. He does the cleaning, the dusting, the sweeping, the cooking-"
"Hold on a sec. He can cook?"
"Of course!"
"But the pie that he baked for Rarity that day was kinda...horrible."
"Yeah, she told me. I don't understand why he couldn't do anything right during that time. But he definitely does all the cooking at home. You think I can make a jewel cake? I can hardly fix a sandwich! At least, that's what he told me one time."
"What happened?"
"I uh, was trying to make a cake for him and, uh..."
"Yeah?"
"Remember that day I told you I needed a new stove?"
Applejack paused, then burst out laughing. "Y'tried to make a cake and y'burnt down the stove?" she asked, after a few seconds, still chuckling.
"Heh, heh..." The two ponies continued on their path, looking for any signs of the purple dragon.
"Hey Twilight," said Applejack after a few moments of silence. "How come Spike never told us his age before?"
"I don't know. It just never really came up."
"But how is that possible? Y'all have been here for about a year!"
"Well, I guess everyone assumed that he was just around nine years old like Rarity said. And I don't think he really noticed. I think that he actually liked being treated like a child sometimes."
"But then how come he noticed it today?"
"He didn't. Rarity told him outright how old she thought he was, remember?"
"Well yeah but he was the one who brought it up. And the whole time during the party, his expression seemed sort of...annoyed. Like something had ticked him off." Twilight was stumped. She had never stopped to think of why Spike would have noticed such a thing now and not in the past months. She had been to engrossed in thinking about how she didn't notice that the others had been treating him as a child. Well, sure, there were a couple of times she didn't understand their actions, like the time they had gone camping before the whole Owliscious episode, but she had simply dismissed that as friendly behaviour.
"I don't know, Applejack. You'll have to ask him yourself."
"Well then, let's keep lookin'.
******
Rarity trotted along the path with Fluttershy close behind.
"Can you believe it?" asked Fluttershy. "Spike is nearly the same age as us!"
"Oh, he probably hates me now."
"Well, you did maybe, sort of, um, break his heart. I mean he's liked you ever since you met."
"I know, darling. All this time, I thought it was just a little crush. I never really thought of him like...that. I always thought he was far too young for me."
"So what about now?"
"Hm?"
"I mean, now that you know that you two could, um, be together, would you...?"
Rarity stopped dead in her tracks and gave Fluttershy a blank look.
"Oh, I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to offend you or anything, I just-"
"No, no! I'm not offended. I just haven't really thought of that yet, I guess. I never really tried to look at him in that way but now..."
"Yes?"
Rarity began to ponder over the idea. Did she like Spike? Could she return the feelings that he'd had for her all this time? "I-I don't know."
The next few minutes passed in silence, save for the occasional snapping of a twig or rustling of a leaf. "Alright Fluttershy," she said as they neared the lake. "You go look near those big trees over there, and I'll continue straight to the lake."
"Okay, Rarity," she replied, heading in the direction of the swamp-like trees. Rarity continued down her path.
How could I have been so naive? she asked herself. Fluttershy was right, I've probably broken Spike's heart. She was overcome with guilt as she reached the water. Did he truly love me? She was looking around when she heard sobbing coming from the other side of the lake. She galloped around the small body of water and pushed aside a large leaf to see what she had been looking for, but not in the way she wanted to. Spike was on the ground sobbing uncontrollably. His scales were caked with dirt, and she could see the cuts and bruises on his legs. And whether it was her intention to be or not, she knew she was responsible. "Spike?" She approached him slowly.
"Go away..." He faced away from on the ground, and didn't turn around.
"Spike, it's me, Rarity." She walked around him so she could see his face. There were marks from dried up tears on his cheeks.
"I know...leave." he closed his eyes and buried his face in his hands. Rarity couldn't bear to see him like this.
"Spike, please I just want to-"
"GO AWAY!" he shouted, leaping to his feet. Rarity recoiled at the sudden outburst. Spike stood there realising what he had just done, and immediately apologized.
"I'm sorry Rarity," he began, taking a seat on a nearby log. "But I just...need to be alone...And besides you've made it clear how you feel about me." He looked away as another tear trickled down his face. "Please leave." Rarity could hear the pain in his voice. She needed to help him. Suddenly, a thought occurred to her. I could... Her thought trailed off as she visibly hesitated. But she was overcome by her own generosity and, whether she wanted to or not (and she really wasn't sure), she knew what she was going to do. In one swift move, she used her hoof to raise the baby dragon's face and leaned in to press her lips softly to his. Spike was shocked by the sudden gesture, but soon all logic left his mind and he gave into desire. The world melted away around him as he closed his eyes and leaned into the kiss. He had wanted this for so long...
Rarity felt his arm drape around her neck, pulling her in closer. Spike turned his back and sat up he pressed his tongue against Rarity's lips. She opened her mouth and let him in. He moved his tongue around the curves of her teeth and tongue, savoring her sweet, cinnamon-like taste. As the seconds passed, so did the air in his lungs and, much to his dismay, they both pulled away to breathe. Spike was in a daze, still not entirely sure of what had just happened. Rarity looked away, afraid to meet the drake's eyes.
"I...l-love you, Rarity," stammered Spike, still not thinking clearly.
"I know," she whispered quietly.
******
"Alright," said Applejack. "He couldn't have gotten much farther than this, so let's scope out the area."
"I thought I saw something move by those rocks over there! I'll look over there, and you go on ahead and look near those shrubs!"
"You sure you'll be alright, Sugarcube?"
"I'll be fine AJ. Let's hurry!" Twilight galloped off to the left to a large, rock covered plain, three boulders obscuring her view. Now, if I could just get over these- Her thought was interrupted by a low growl. "What was that?" She began to move backwards cautiously. "Spike?"
"Twilight!" Applejack called out in alarm. Twilight whipped her head around to see Applejack sprawled out on the grass at the other side of the plane, with four tall creatures towering over her. Suddenly, a large figure pounced on Twilight, knocking her to the ground. She gasped as she turned to face her attacker.
"Remember me?" The diamond dog grinned. "You're friends with that annoying white pony, right?" he asked. "I'm going to love seeing the look on her face when she sees you and the farmer pony dead at her feet." He snapped his fingers and two more dogs appeared behind him. Twilight tried to get back on her hooves, but the largest diamond dog pounced on her once again. "You ponies may have bested us once, but not this time!"
"Twilight!" Applejack struggled to release herself from the dogs' grip, and finally managed to break free. Just as she began galloping towards her, another dog grabbed her hoof and she fell to the floor. The unicorn watched helplessly watched as Applejack hit the ground with a big Thud! Just then, Twilight felt something cold and sharp move across her hind leg. She twisted her head to see that the diamond dog who was on top of her had extended his claws and was tracing a line across her leg with his paw.
"I'm going to enjoy this." he said, just before violently piercing her limb. And Twilight screamed.
******
"What was that?" asked Rarity, turning to face Spike.
"That sounded like...Twilight!" he cried, snapping back to reality. He jumped to his feet and pointed towards the path where the noise had come from. "It came from there. Come on!"
******
Fluttershy walked along the side of the lake, looking for any signs of purple scales. We probably hurt his feelings so much... She hopped over a large root. He doesn't deserve it at all. She continued along the edge of the lake for a while, until she began to hear rustling noises. And to think we've been treating him as a child ever since we met him! But what will happen between him and Rarity now that... Her thought trailed off as she came to a large leaf. She looked underneath to see Rarity with...Spike! She found Spike! Wait, what are they doing? Fluttershy paused to see that their faces were really close to each others. It almost looks as if they are-"Oh, my!" she said quietly, realising what was happening. She quickly looked away, a deep blush forming on her face. I can't believe...I just saw that... She slumped against the ground, feeling guilty for almost having interrupted. But at the same time, there was another faint feeling at the bottom of her heart. A feeling she didn't encounter too often. A feeling of sadness... Fluttershy was taken aback by her own emotions. Why would I feel sad that-Her thoughts were interrupted by a shrill scream coming from the distance.
"Twilight!" she heard Spike say. She looked over to see both the dragon and the unicorn running towards the noise and she quickly followed suite.
Is this a repost of Blue to red?
So did you rewrite this?
how many chapters were rewritten? anyway, I am seriously needing to reread all chapters now
3068665>>3068682 I deleted Blue to Red, split it into two parts (I will update the other later) and heavily modified both. The majority of the chapter is rewritten or new material. That's why I decided to upload it as a new chapter. (I deleted 'Blue to Red' a day ago, and I posted 'Pain and Pleasure' just now. So yeah, I worked on it a lot.)
3068739 That makes sense.
3068755 Glad you understand.
3068768 No problem.
What the hell is the Crystal Lake Empire?
3068830 Whoops! Heh, heh...
Okay, all fixed up!
3068739 OK this new version is better.
ooooh , soo flutter has a crush with spike too ? o: she and rarity are gonna be the only ones?
Now Fluttershy has feelings for Spike. But now he got the kiss from Rarity, and now he will focused on her always, and never consider there might be another pony loving him. But right now it is time to save Twiilght.
3083279 Buck yeah it's time. Becuase I just finished chapter six. And this one, my friend, is going to be no short of epic. Terrifying, but epic. The chapter will be up after I wake up, so in maybe ten or eleven hours (the formatting and everything, plus the lengthy process of uploading a chapter to fanfiction.net [yes, the story is there too] is the cause of those one or two extra hours, otherwise it would be nine).
But right now, it's time for a moustache. Because I said so.
Epic moustache
3085411 Wait, never mind. I'm just gonna go ahead and upload Chapter 6 right now.
Well, I think I'll call it quits at this chapter.
First of all, you've got a couple of typos that I noticed without really paying attention. This isn't the reason that I'm stopping here, but I figured I'd report them so that you can fix them.
Last chapter:
This chapter:
One thing that I don't like (and this is purely personal thing) is the Sparity. I just don't like that pairing, I don't find it believable. Although it's unclear as to whether Rarity kissed him because she liked him or as some twisted sense of generosity (which I don't believe she would actually do, but that's neither here nor there).
Another thing that I didn't like was the way that all of a sudden, he got pissed at being treated like a kid. Yes, I do realize that in real life, children will suddenly decide that they do not wish to be referred to as such, but for some reason, it just didn't ring true to me.
However the main thing that turned me off this fic is that Spike was far too much of a Gary Stu for my tastes. It took him less than a month to become more proficient at teleportation than Twilight (which is slightly believable, due to the fact that the breath that he uses to send letters might be usable to teleport living beings). However, he managed to learn healing magic—which Twilight professes to having taken years for her to learn—in less than a month. And this is not a month of magical training, this is a month where he was doing "royal business" and studying on the side, at least presumably. Twilight is a magical prodigy of the level of which Celestia hasn't seen in years. And Spike somehow surpasses that? Yeah, sorry, I'm not buying it.
I dislike when Spike is disparaged or ignored in fanfiction, but I don't think he is some super-badass awesome dragon. At least not at this point in his life. I can see him becoming one in a couple of thousand of years. Hell, he can even become pretty badass over the next decade or so. But it takes time and effort and study. (And no, part-time for a month is not enough time).
3068830 The land ruled by Jason Voorhees, of course!
3122316
im sorry but your comment disturbed me. What you said about Spike made no sense. First off, Spike attitude change could have came from multiple places. The author never said this continues off the main story. Also, he's nineteen and looked older. Plus he has been gone for a month and learned alot. Wouldn't it be wise to consider maybe this change happened while he was gone, but the author hasn't revealed it yet? THat sounds pretty sound to me.
Also, Gary Sue? Really? Just because he learned something fast, doesn't mean he can do everything. The only thing you can really fight at this point is the healing and that is just ONE thing. Last i checked, Gary Sue's have lots.
Please tell me this is a joke. Im pretty sure most of the writers of fandom Spike are making him a badass. In canon, Dragons are described as dangerous and magical creatures. Spike went off and learned much about his heritage and learned he had powers like these. He studied and applied them. He got good because he was already good with his fire. You cant argue the healing with Twilight either. Since when have you really seen her heal anything in the show? For all we know, she might be as bad at healing as her cooking.
: Hey!
If you came to this story to complain about how Spike is created and not finish it, you have no room to complain. Next time please finish and give your analysis on it.
Also i do agree on you with Sparity. Hate that pair. However, how this story is playing out for this chapter, like the actions of Rarity afterwards and the feelings of Fluttershy, I'm assuming that the Sparity here wont last long.
4530084
Let me start off with saying that I left that comment 40 weeks ago, and I'm not going back and rereading the fic just so I can properly respond to you.
True, however unless the author outright specifies otherwise, I (and I believe most other people) assume that it does continue more or less directly from canon. Another point in my favor is that if it truly was that simple, I'm fairly sure the author would've corrected me.
Actually, the sole fact that he appears to be better at learning magic than Twilight—the element of magic, and supposedly one of best and strongest mages alive—is more than enough to qualify him as a Gary Stu. Being better than the main character at what the main character is best at is one of the defining traits of a Stu.
No, it isn't. Most of the fanfiction that I read tends towards ignoring him. To be fair, the ones that are actively disparaging towards him are relatively rare. I tend not to read the wish-fulfillment super-strong badass Spike fics.
Sure, adult dragons are. Spike is at most teenage.
I can't? I can't fucking argue that something that Twilight took years to learn (at least judging from my earlier comment) should have taken Spike who was studying it part-time much longer?
So, what you're saying is that she could be fucking amazing at healing? Remember that she's never canonically shown that she is a bad cook. It has only been inferred from the fact that Spike is great at cooking.
Actually, if I find a piece of fiction unpalatable enough that I can't manage to finish it (or at least don't feel like it), then it's perfectly valid to offer feedback on why I find it so unpalatable. Is it possible that some of my criticisms may be invalidated by the later chapters? Yes. However there are several counterpoints to that. One is that the more you read, the better you get at predicting events. It is definitely possible that you can be mistaken, but it does mean that you aren't completely pulling information out of your ass. The other point, a far more important one, is that even if you are completely wrong about what direction the fic is heading in, leaving feedback provides the author with valuable information about how their writing is being interpreted (at least by some). They might choose not to change anything based on the feedback, but it's better to know than not.
Also, if the author had thought that something they wrote later would invalidate my complaints, don't you believe that they would have replied to my comment in some way?