Hard Landings

“GOD FUCKING DAMMIT!” a feminine voice yelled, slamming a pair of goggles on the dirty steel floor. The woman was standing in a lab room, the walls made of steel and all covered in a fine layer of dust and some spots of dried blood. The woman was standing in front a terminal on a flatop counter and a yellow switching board right next to it. Both were in front of a glass window, where beyond was a pile of flesh and blue chitin. The terminal glowed eerie green and the woman read aloud, “Experiment unsuccessful? Really?! The fucking pile of blood and chitin wasn't a good enough clue, you had to rub it in my face?!” she yelled before slicing the terminal in half.

The woman slowly sheafed her katana and slid it into a loop in her black coat. She took a deep breath and ran a tanned hand through her scarlet hair. “Dammit Sasori, get a hold of yourself. You're already insane for trying to splice cazadors and dogs together, now you're slicing apart terminals who have insulted your intelligence,” she whispered to herself, almost laughing.

“Experiment unsuccessful. Would you like to try again?” asked the robot next to her. The robot looked almost looked almost like a trash can with an encased brain for a head. Its tank treads whirled as it did a spin and took its place in front of the switching board, its claws looming over the red bar that acted as a switch.

Sasori sighed, disappointed. “No, we’re...Dammit!” she yelled, slamming her fist on the counter. This was her fifth attempt and she was starting to get, what she called, murderously frustrated. Sasori slammed her head against the table in defeat. “Ow!” Despite the pain, Sasori repeated the action six more times before stopping.

Suddenly, a loud noise emitted from the testing chamber roof and an object splattered against the floor. Sasori groaned. “What the hell? Is that another goddamned super bloatfly?” Sasori asked, staring at the creature’s insectoid wings.

The creature was in fact nothing like Sasori had ever seen. It had four legs, all with holes in them and was covered in black chitin. It’s blue long hair obscured its face but didn't cover the foot-long horn on its head. Sasori groaned and moved towards a panel on the right wall, revealing it to be a door. Within minutes, Sasori is in the splicing room, looking over the injured creature and the gaping hole it made in the ceiling.

The building they were in was made to repel the effects of a nuclear apocalypse. Radiation resistant plating, concrete and various experimental metals. Each sheet of the material was supposed to able to withstand a nuclear missile. Old world over engineering at its best. Yet all these factors were proven null and void when something that looked like a insectoid Giddyup Buttercup smashed through it with a determined amount of force.

Sasori gave an impressed whistle, looking down at the blue maned...Thing. “Wow Bloatcup,” she called the creature, just thinking of the name, “you just managed to damage a building that withstood a nuke. Or would have if the Think Tank were any stupider,” she quickly added, noticing the creature twitching just a bit. Sasori’s eyebrows lifted in surprise as she saw bit of dust moving around the horse-bug’s muzzle, confirming her breathing. “And survived?” she asked with amazement. Sasori jumped in place and clapped excitedly. “Oh I’m going to love examining you!” she announced as she lowered her stance to move the creature.

The robobrain, sensing two presences in the chamber, activated the switch. “Beginning gene splicing sequence,” it said, not knowing what it had done.

Sasori heard the sound of the sliding door behind her close shut, and soon heard the locking mechanisms turn. Sasori looked down to the unconscious creature, horrified at the situation. A rod with a large,glowing ball extended from the wall in front of her and she frowned. “Well fuck,” she said flatly before a bright blue light flashed from the ball and her whole vision was filled with nothing but blue.

Sasori quickly held her arms over her face, hoping the radiation resistant duster would protect her from the rays. She then remembered that she had another thing in the room with her and groaned. Theres no telling what the splicing process could do to me. Great now I have to destroy even more useful relics! She thought bitterly before turning around and reaching into her coat for a weapon. She had a lot of weapons to choose from, Sasori smiled and pulled out a Colt M1911, still covering her eyes as she shot blindly at the source of the light.

After firing two rounds, the bullets found the ball and shattered it into a dozen pieces. Sasori sighed and put away the pistol. “Great, now I have to make a new one,” she said, begrudgedly.
Sasori looked down and saw that the strange creature had changed. Instead of the horse-like body it had moments ago, it was more akin to her own. The creature now had two arms and two legs with toes and fingers just like hers, though both were all still riddled with large holes. The one thing that had stayed the same was its carapace skin and its horn, which bothered Sasori greatly.

She lowered her stance again, slowly grabbed the horn and forced the creature’s head left and right, examining its equine face. “Now what would an insectoid like yourself be doing with a horn?” she asked it. She then held the creature by its chin, repeating the action, paying closer attention to the fangs jutting from out of its muzzle. “And these fangs... What type of mutant are you? Wait a second,” she said before dropping the strange animal’s head, staring intensely at the creature’s body.

Sasori smiled and started jumping in place, laughing hysterically. “I just made a new creature! Yes! Fuck you Think Tank! Who’s experiment actually worked?! Mine,pansies! Mine!” she gloated childishly to no one in particular.

Bloatcup shifted in its forced sleep, opening its eyes. “Ugh,” it groaned, taking in its surroundings. While looking around, it focused on Sasori and slowly shook its head. “What...are you?” it asked weakly, its voice sounding raspy and somewhat feminine. “And... Where am I?”

Sasori stopped her cheering and looked down at the insectoid equine that just spoke. Once again she raised her eyebrows in excitement. “You can speak?” she almost whispered as she moved closer. “And you’re female,” she said glancing past her creation’s navel, or at least where its navel was supposed to be. “And your female!” she shouted excitedly.

Bloatcup groaned weakly and passed out again.

“Hmm,” Sasori mused, rubbing her chin. “Hows about we get you back to the sink for some goo?” she said, giddily, grabbing a glowing object out of her coat. The small gun like object glowed brighter and brighter as Sasori pointed it up to the hole her new creation made and pulled the trigger. A weird winding sound emmited from the from the small object and a blue glow covered them both. A second later they were both in a pleasantly sterile room. The floors were completely clean and devoid of dirt. On the wall were several objects, a couple of metal cabinets, screens with incomprehensible symbols on them and what looked like a monster with metal teeth.

In other words, welcome to The Sink.

Sasori put away the device and breathed in the fresh,recycled air. “Ah, it's good to be home,” she sighed happily. She looked down at the anthropomorphic beauty at her feet. “Now,lets get started. Doc!” she shouted.

“Yeah, yeah, you know I’m here,” said a metal phone booth across the room. Doc was short for Auto-Doc, an automated device capable of doing the most complicated of procedures that would take an entire medical team hours to do. This auto doc however could remove and implant organs while keeping its user alive.

“What's that you got there?” Doc drawled. Doc was also pre-programmed to have the personality of a pre-war field medic.

Sasori lifted her experiment by its shoulders, almost presenting it to the auto-doc. “This, is my new muse,” she joked, dragging Bloatcup’s limp body to the auto-doc.

Doc sighed and slid open his door, revealing a multitude of robotic arms, each one was equipped with a scalpel and a saw. Sasori dropped Bloatcup into the machine, smiling maniacally as Doc closed his door. “I would ask what this thing is and how ya got it, but I’m just gonna slip this into a examination tank,” he sighed. Doc had given up asking questions a long time ago when his original boss and creator, Dr. Mobius, brought in a corpse with a skull full of mentats and ordered Doc to “wing it”.

With a “shroop,” Bloatcup was gone. Sasori clapped her hands and took off her coat, flinging it onto a glowing table in the center of the room. “Madam, I would appreciate if you didn't fling your clothes around the room. You know how ser Muggy gets,” said a sophisticated, stuffy voice coming from the table.

Sasori ignored the Sink’s Central Intelligence Unit and moved to the right side of the large apartment. In this small room was a jukebox, a polished steel table and a very angry toaster. Or at least it would be angry if not for the fact that Sasori had switched it’s personality off. In The Sink, most of the appliances had a personality. From the toaster to the light switches, all the appliances could speak their programming and would do so frequently, much to Sasori’s annoyance. Reason why she had most of them switched off and could work in peace.

“What's the digs?” asked the juke box, its voice dry and raspy like an old jazz player. Blind Diode Jefferson was one of the few personalities Sasori could deal with. She didn't know why, but she somehow found the old jazz player euphemisms endearing.

She smiled at the old appliance and walked right past it and into the door to its right. As endearing as he was, Sasori had no time for Diode. She had a bug to examine and was extremely excited for it.

Three tanks filled with what Sasori called “science goo” took up most of the room. Sasori had no idea what it was but she knew that it should keep organic things intact and full of oxygen for extended periods of time. Which had proven useful for holding her organs when she didn't need them.

Currently, all three of the “goo” tanks were empty. Sasori frowned and tapped her foot with impatience. The tanks were all connected to the rest of the facilities in Big Mountain through a series of high-pressure tubes, including the one in Doc. The fact that it was taking so long was beginning to annoy Sasori. After five more minutes of waiting, Bloatcup “wooshed” up into view, making Sasori jump back. “Well, its good to know I won't have to delete Doc again,” she laughed.

Sasori reached into her pocket and brought out a small rectangular tape, slapping it into her all in her pip-boy 3000. A recording sign popped up on her screen and she held the computer close to her lips as she moved about the room idly.

“Big Mountain journal, entry twenty. While attempting to splice a cazador and a dog, a weird creature dropped into the chamber. It was a quadruped equine insect, with hair and a most peculiar defect that I can only describe as a horn. Long story short future me or anyone who listens to this, I accidentally spliced myself with the insectoid. Damn that robot. Doctor Zero probably wrote the base code. Guy can't program anything to save his life, yet the moron is in a think tank. A THINK TANK!” she yelled in frustration.

Sasori took a deep breath and calmed herself. “Anyway, I haven't examined myself for any changes yet. But, the creature, whom I have taken to calling Bloatcup, morphed into a half-human hybrid! From my DNA! As far as I can tell she’s still breathing (which is an improvement to the other piles of meat I’ve created) and her body is intact. I’m going to begin analyzing her, learning every bit of her anatomy and then... I will make her my-” just before Sasori finished her dreamy sentence, Bloatcup’s eyes snapped open. For about ten seconds, both women were completely still, their stares at each other unwavering.

And then, the dam broke.

“AAAAHHH!” They both yelled at the simultaneously.

Author's Note:

Questions? Concerns? COMMENT! Also, if you disliked the chapter, please tell me why.

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Alpharius IV

Alpharius IV #1 · Aug 16th, 2013 · · ·

Hmmm, evil courier then? I don't see many of those fics. Following this story.

Brother Uriel

Brother Uriel #2 · Jun 12th, 2015 · · ·

NCR AND PROUD!... 'Ahem' sorry... It... Slipped out... But, interesting story, I did that DLCS a few weeks ago... Pretty fun I have to admit... But now I want to see this Courier meet mine... Man they'd have a blast... Maybe a few fights... But even with differences... It still be fun to see...

BIGBLACKINTOSH

BIGBLACKINTOSH #3 · Jun 12th, 2015 · · ·

6083042 Heh. Sasori (God I regret naming her that) would probably try to have intellectual conversation and would most likely try to poison him if he was boring her.