This story is a sequel to Election Day
For Lyra's first "proper" trip in the TARDIS, she wanted to see one of Equestria's starships. But as the TARDIS crew lands on the ship, they get a not-so warm welcome. What's worse, a temporal distortion hurtles the starship back in time and out-of-control! With less than a day on their hooves, the crew of the starship and the crew of the TARDIS must work together to get the ship working again, or risk being stuck in the Late Cretaceous with flesh-eating dinosaurs!
Chapters (5)
i feel like this story's clover is kind of a reference to clover the clever because of how she answers quickly and effectively on what kind of dinosaur it really is. would i be right on my guess?
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hadn't thought of it, but now that you've said that.... I might just use it.
Most of the Poet's characters were recycled from another story I once wrote that I ended up not liking. Clover was the ship's science officer, with a cutie mark for plant and animal biology.
this was a nicely done story, though some parts felt a little fast and some a bit drawn out, but it's probably understandable when you are making a crossover of two completely different shows. i really am looking forward to this whole "bad wolf" thing. just going to say called it and leave it at that.
As someone who knows the story the guest characters came from, I have to say it's nice to see them again. And I see that they are just as adept at crashing every spaceship they get their hooves on as they used to be... ahem.
So, the story. As a whole, it wasn't bad at all, though it suffered from pacing problems and repetition (like in the beginning of chapter 2 where we are told that the sunlight was partially blocked because a tree branch was partially blocking the sunlight).
At first, the story appeared to be a sequence of minor inconveniences that, for the most part, were a bit too easily resolved, so I have to admit that later, as the story got a bit more intense, (Moonshine's) fate came as a surprise. On the other hand, since the characters weren't really fleshed out, it didn't leave much of an impact. You spent quite some time describing the various dinosaurs, relatively speaking, so I can't help but wish that you'd have done the same for the actual characters. As it is, they all sort of just blended together as an anonymous group of random ponies.
So yeah. And just in case this sounded too negative, I actually did enjoy reading it. I just wished there was a bit... more to it, I guess.
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Thank you for this criticism.
I decided to re-use characters from the previous work, as I decided not to go anywhere with it in the first place. I actually may consider having the crew meet up with the Doctor later on down the road, who knows. Certainly there is room for character exploration.
As for the narrative being riddled with inconveniences that are soon resolved... I've been watching mostly Classic Who recently, and many of the stories are sort of like this. The New Series tends to do this a little bit differently because an entire story is ~45 minutes long instead of the several hours of the typical Classic Who outing which would span 4 or more serials of 25 minutes apiece.
I'm glad that you liked it though.
The next story is roughly 2/3rd of the way done.
I like this. More. Now.
oh shit