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This is the Only Chapter

Once upon a time, you went to Equestria. You are named "Adolf Hitler," and everyone hates you. You destroyed the entire Earth and escaped to Equestria. Now, you need a place to live. You see a nice cottage. It has a light on. You walk towards it.

You knock on the door. Yellow Pone answers.

"Hi, I'm Fluttershy. Would you like some dinner?"

"Yes. Do you have ze chicken nuggets?"

Fluttershy slaps you.

"I would never eat a chicken! Just who the Hell are you, anyway?"

"I am the Fuhrer! Hiel Hitler!"

Fluttershy gasps and runs into the back room. She returns with an M1911*.

"Vhat are you going to do vith zat? Are you going to shoot me?"

Fluttershy aims the gun somehow and says, "You are going to die. I will finish you off once and for all. SEE YOU IN HELL, MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!!!!!!!!1!!! (All of those exclamation marks are for emphasis)

Fluttershy shoots the gun before she realizes the bullet will go through you and kill Purple Pone, who is behind you. Purple Pone dies.

You both wake up in Hell. Fire is everywhere. All your clothes are dirty and filthy and on fire**. Purple Pone is in the corner crying.

Vhat is your name, Purple Pone?"

"My name is Twilight Sparkle. I was going to be President of the United States, but you had to stand in front of me while Fluttershy went insane! Now I'll never be President!"

"But Ze United States is dead. I killed zem all!"

Twilight stabs you in the eye with her horn. Because you are in Hell, you don't die. But you explode because you are Hitler and deserve to explode. Twilight stabs you in the neck with her horn, and you explode again. But, you always reform afterwards.

"Zat von't vork. Ve are immortal here."

"I don't care! I love it***!"

Twilight stabs you again, this time in the dick. It hurts like Hell, and you explode twice.

"So you can explode twice. I'll have to tell Spike. If I ever get out, that is," Twilight said while stabbing your body fifty times.

Satan comes over.

"Hitler, my man! How you doing?"

You know Satan because you're Hitler. You made a deal with him so that every assassination attempt on you fails.

"I've been better. I vas shot by Yellow Pone, and I'm here, in Hell. Zis is vorse than ze time ze TARDIS crashed into my office."

Satan said, "So, you didn't just shoot youself in the head?"

"Nien! Vhy vould I do zat?"

"Just wondering."

Twilight said, "Mr Satan, may I go back to the Living World? I don't belong here, and I was going to be President."

Satan said, "Wait, you're a politician? GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY DOMAIN! WE DON'T ACCEPT YOUR KIND HERE!"

And Twilight went to the Living World, because politicians are worse than Hitler.

Author's Note:

*In case you were wondering, that's the same M1911 from Twilight Sparkle Destroys a Hospital.
**I made a Yogscast reference. Am I popular yet? No? Aww...
***Can I be popular now? No? Aww...

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