The One Where They All Turn Thirty

by Spike120812

Not As Bad As You Think

Not As Bad As You Think

“Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday dear, Sweetie Belle. Happy birthday to you! WHOO HOO!”

Loud cries of joy and the clopping of hooves, and a set of clapping claws, echoed in Sugar Cube Corner as party canons set off all around the bakery. The place was decked from the floor to the ceiling with all things party. Streamers lined the walls, balloons hung everywhere, presents were stacked, and hard cider, punch, and various sweets and drinks lined the tables. Pinkie really outdid herself with this party. To top it all off, everypony showed up, from the birthday mare’s family, Princess Twilight Sparkle, her loyal grown dragon assistant, the other bearers of the Elements of Harmony, and her best friends, Apple Bloom, and Scootaloo.

It was the perfect setup for the perfect party, except for the one thing that kept it from being the perfect party. That one imperfection took the form of the birthday mare looking like she was going to explode out of a mix of anger, sadness, and some other third emotion that brought out the worst in some ponies on this particular birthday.

Sweetie Belle sat at the front of a long table with a large white and purple iced vanilla cake in front of her. On top of the cake stood thirty individual candles, each one mocking her with their light ember. Around her, many balloons read such things as ‘Happy 30’, ‘30 Years Old’, and other short thirty-related messages.

A few more moments of silence passed, and Sweetie Belle still held her otherworldly gaze on the thirty-candled cake.

Finally, the sister of the birthday mare, Rarity, stepped forward and broke the tension. “Sweetie Belle, darling,” she encouraged with her usual silky voice, “go on and blow out your candles. Make a wish. You are the birthday mare.”

“A wish, huh?” Sweetie snarked. “Okay.” She took another hard and menacing glance at the cake in front of her. As delicious as it seemed, it didn’t have a chance against the rage Sweetie Belle had at the moment. “I wish, I wasn’t going to die alone, in a light-up Hearth’s Warming sweater, talking to a menagerie of parrots!” The full-grown pale-white unicorn rose up on her hind legs, and brought her forelimbs down hard on the cake, smooshing the candles out and splatting frosting around the table, some even getting into her long pink and light-purple curly mane.

The resulting sight was a very broken cake, and a crowd of silent ponies and a dragon. The tension felt in the air could’ve been cut with safety scissors.

“Well, that’s one way to make a wish,” the one dragon in the room half-joked.

“Spike, not now, please,” Rarity pleaded with the dragon before returning her attention to her sister. “Sweetie Belle, I know you’re a little upset about this particular birthday, other mares can get that way too, but was that really necessary?”

“Yeah, Sweetie, what gives?” Apple Bloom voiced out.

“So, you’re the first out of the three of us to turn thirty, big whoop. We’ll be right there with you in a few months,” Scootaloo comforted as she wrapped an orange feathered wing around her unicorn friend.

“Yeah, except that you’ll be turning thirty with your special someponies right by your side, and you won’t have the paparazzi hounding you for photos or tabloid magazines writing your fake retirement headline,” Sweetie remarked with a few twitches in her eyes, making everypony else in the room except Scootaloo and Apple Bloom take a step back.

“Awww, c’mon, Sweetie Bell. Ah’m sure it’s not as bad as you—” Apple Bloom’s efforts of comfort were cut off by the floating headline of a magazine held in Sweetie Belle’s magic glow.

Written in bold and loud ink, the headline read, “Equestria’s Pony of Music, Sweetie Belle, Turns 30!”

“So the headline says ya turn thirty, big deal,” Apple Bloom commented after reading the headline.

“Read the story,” Sweetie Belle droned back.

Scootaloo and the other guests of the party inched closer to Apple Bloom to hear her as she read aloud.

“Pop-Star, Sweetie Belle, has adorned us with her vocal abilities, catchy songs, beautiful ballads, concert extravaganzas, even a few feature films in her career that has spawned a jaw-dropping fourteen years, believe it or not.

The young teen-pop star we saw fourteen years ago blew Equestria away, and has continued to do so for years, but this writer questions as to whether this now thirty year old mare can continue her musical domination. I don’t know, she looks like she’s getting tired, and this bad stallion can see.

As the music scene continues to grow with fresh new faces, younger faces to be more specific, I honestly can’t see poor Sweetie Belle staying on top for very long. Oh well, fourteen years is still quite a run. But for now, let’s all help this mare celebrate her thirtieth. Happy Birthday, Sweetie Belle, from Pony Hilton.”

The room was dead silent again, save for the nervous coughs from a few of the guests in the room.

“Big deal. That’s just one pony’s opinion. You shouldn’t let that—”

“Oh, there’s more,” Sweetie interrupted Scootaloo as she levitated a few more headlines to all of her friends’ faces.

“Sweetie Belle, Thirty And Single”

“Pop Star, Sweetie Belle, Retirement At Thirty?”

“Another Year Single For Sweetie Belle”

“Is She Done?”

“She’s Outta The Game!”

“Still No Ring For Thirty Year Old Pop Star”

“Should She Quit?”

“So Much For Being Young”

“Sweetie Belle Spends Thirtieth Single”

Each headline that the guests read took their toll on the mare that they were about. Sweetie Belle slumped onto the table head-first, wishing just one of those candles on her mashed up cake wasn’t there. She felt like curling up into a ball and just laying down on the floor for the next twenty years.

It was a tender pink hoof on her shoulder that brought Sweetie Belle’s attention to the big-haired mare above her, her mother, Pearl.

“Now, Sweetie Belle, honey, don’t go believing all these nasty things. You are a beautiful, strong, independent mare who isn’t going to let some phony bologna headlines get you down on you birthday.”

Sweetie Belle turned to her other side to her where her father, Magnum, swung a white forelimb about her side and messed with her mane with a brown hoof. “And no matter how old you get, you’ll still be daddy’s little cheesecake.” Speaking of cake, Magnum looked onto the table to the mashed dessert with one question in mind. “You gonna eat that?”

A small smack at his forelimb quickly made Magnum abandon any thoughts of dessert.

“And you’ll still be my little sister, ooh-ooh,” Rarity squealed happily as she too joined in the family embrace.

“YAY! HUGS!” the hostess of the party cheered as she zipped to Sweetie Belle in a pink blur. “C’mon everypony, HUGS!”

The remaining guests of the party took Pinkie’s invite and joined in the massive group hug, even Rainbow Dash joined in, but made sure to stay on the very outside of the group embrace.

The embrace broke after a few moments and left a much happier looking Sweetie Belle. She could count on this group of friends and family to help her through this weird age gate.

“Thanks, guys. That means a lot.” Sweetie Belle then started to grab hold of all the abandoned magazine headlines in her magic and balled them into a large clump of paper. She hated those stupid headlines. Then again who wouldn’t hate the lie-infested print. She recalled one headline that nearly killed her father.

“Sweetie Belle, Pregnant With Hunter Hay’s Lovechild!”

Oh, the explanation it took to get Magnum to calm down that day. She wanted nothing more than to just get rid of those stupid magazines. Crumble them, set them aflame, anything. Suddenly, she jerked her head up, a light bulb going off in her head. A small devilish smile creeping up on her face as an idea planted itself in her head.

She turned over to her group of friends and eyed the dragon in the group. “Hey, Spike! Up for a little target practice?”

Spike stepped forward with his own devilish smile and took a stance. “Ready when you are, Sweetie Belle!”

The ball of wadded-up magazines held in Sweetie Belle’s magic glowed a fierce light blue as the party guests counted down.

“Three... Two... One... GO!”

Sweetie flung the paper ball into the air, and Spike sucked in a breath and, after a few seconds, let loose a ball of scorching green flames. The ball of fire met the wadded ball of magazines and set it aflame in a fiery display. Green embers fell from the air and gently faded out as the party guests cheered.

Sweetie watched the cheering crowd and the falling ashes. It was like a load on her chest was lifted... well, at least one load was lifted. Something else, even after all the support she knew she’d have, still rested on her mind like a parasite.

It wasn’t until an orange wing wrapped around her in a friendly hug. Scootaloo and Apple Bloom were standing beside her, both glad to see her smiling a bit.

“Feeling better?” Scootaloo asked Sweetie Belle.

“Yeah, thanks guys.”

Apple Bloom didn’t fully buy into Sweetie Belle’s answer. She could tell she felt a little better, but she knew there was more than meets the eye. “Somethin’ else’s botherin’ you, isn’t there?”

She was caught. Sweetie didn’t bother to deny it. After all, Apple Bloom was related to the Element of Honesty. As if she could get by her. “Well...” she paused as she looked at the ground, noticing the ashy remains of one of the headlines. It wasn’t fully burned and could still be read out through the singed edges.

“Sweetie Belle, Thirty And Single”

That one hurt a bit, not the fact that she was, but the fact that nearly everypony else in the room wasn’t. “I’m thirty, and I’m the only single pony here,” Sweetie confessed. “Scootaloo, you and Featherweight are already engaged, and Apple Bloom’s been married to Pip for two years now! I bet the others had somepony when they all turned thirty.”

“Not all of ‘em,” Apple Bloom responded. “Mah sister was single when she hit thirty. Right, Applejack!” she called to her sister and her friends.

Applejack and the others came over to where the former Cutie Mark Crusaders were standing. “What, Apple Bloom?”

“You were single when you hit thirty, right?”

“Eeyup,” Applejack answered proudly, “and it didn’t bug me one bit.”

“Ohhhhh, I know where this is going.”

Everypony turned their glance to the fashionista that approached her sister. “You’re a little worried about never finding that special somepony, aren’t you?” Rarity inquired.

Sweetie replied with a small nervous rub of her neck.

“Oh, Sweetie Belle,” Pearl started, “don’t let that get’cha down. So, you’ve hit a dry spell. You’ll find somepony soon enough.”

“Easy for you to say, mom. You and dad were married before either of you hit thirty,” Sweetie Belle pointed out. “Not only that, but you don’t have ponies thinking you’re on the road to being a hasbeen just because you turned thirty.”

“Hey!”

This time it was Rainbow Dash that everypony had their eyes on.

“Just because you’re thirty, doesn’t mean you’re finished. Just look at me. Everypony thought I’d quit or retire from the Wonderbolts when I hit thirty. They kept saying that it was a young pegasus's game... Well, guess what?” Rainbow jetted across the bakery, leaving her signature rainbow trail behind her in fantastic shapes. “I’m still flyin’!” Rainbow Dash beamed with visible pride. All those naysayers she dealt with didn’t have much left to say when Dash kept at it with the Wonderbolts, and still managed to outshine them all.

“See, Sweetie Belle? So you’re single and have some doubters. Turning thirty still isn’t the end of the world. It’s just some silly little number.” Rarity waved a nonchalant hoof in the air dismissively to emphasize her point, only to be met with a few narrowed eyebrows and disbelieving faces.

“Really?” Applejack asked flatly. “Is that how you felt when you turned thirty, Rarity?”

“Certainly. I handled my thirtieth with grace,” Rarity countered.

“You handled it with crying, and a lot of tissues,” Rainbow Dash spoke up, trying to stifle a laugh at the memory.

“Yeah, sis. I was there, remember?”

“I don’t know what you girls are talking about,” Rarity said indignantly.

“Rarity, you were a little overdramatic that day,” Twilight voiced.

“I seriously don’t know what you all are talking about,” Rarity responded nervously.

“I’ve never seen anypony cry that much.” Flutterhy’s voice barely came through as she recounted what she saw.

“I’ve never seen that many tissues,” Magnum said through the crowd.

“So, I cried a bit,” Rarity hesitantly admitted, “I was nervous and scared, but I wasn’t overdramatic.”

“Rarity, honey, you kinda were,” Pearl argued lightly.

“I was not!” Rarity argued back with a flip of her mane.

“Rarity,” the fashionista turned around to see Spike, “you kinda were.”

She stood for a few seconds in silence, trying to word her next sentence correctly. “Okay, so maybe I was I little... over the top with turning thirty,” Rarity finally admitted.

Everypony in the room rolled their eyes at Rarity’s weak confession.

“Oh sure, once Spike says it, you’ll admit it,” Rainbow Dash taunted.

“Leave him alone, Rainbow Dash!” Rarity retorted as she ran up to the tall dragon’s muscular lime-green chest. “I just respect his opinion, is all.”

“I bet you respect a lot more than his opinion, if ya know what I mean,” Rainbow tried to joke as she nudged Applejack, only to get a hard glare from her.

“Regardless,” Rarity continued, “I may have overdone the dramatics when I turned thirty, but I did get something very special out of the whole mess.” Her eyes met Spike’s emerald irises as she snuggled her dragon closely.

Multiple small giggles and “Awwwww’s” sounded in the bakery. The story of Rarity’s thirtieth was one well known to most of the party guests, but two mares had absolutely no idea what everypony else was talking about.

“What happened when Rarity turned thirty?” Scootaloo finally asked. All the ponies and the dragon in the room turned to Scootaloo and Apple Bloom with wide eyes.

“What?” Apple Bloom asked the room of wide eyes.

“Ohhhhhh, right! You two couldn’t come to Canterlot for Rarity’s birthday,” Pinkie remembered. Apple Bloom nodded her head in confirmation, making the party pony grin an anatomically impossible wide grin. “Then you two are in for one doozy of a story!”

Comments

[abronie]

Two chapters at once. I like you.

[Jake The Army Guy]

This chapter alone has me hooked. You've built a really believable future for the group. Since I am an unabashed shipper, I am desperate to find out who they all ended up with. I truly hope there is no Inter-Mane Six ships, but meh, this is well-written, funny, and witty, so I'll deal. Will read the next chapter later, but for now, have an upvote, a fave, and a mustache!

[Derpyx0]

I can't say anything more then what 2967676 said. *Claps*