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February Write Off254 stories ·36 members

Tempered by Fire

Six ponies are stationed at the firehouse at all times. Two of each type. When fires break out, all of them have a special role to play. For Breath, Capsaicin, Coal, Dinky, Rinsun, and Tate, the fire today will leave them changed forever. These six ponies must brave the heat of the fire to do their job but fire leaves nothing untouched.

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 4 )

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Dead_Account_0

Dead_Account_0 #1 · Feb 23rd, 2012 · · ·

During Tate's piece you accidentally switch to 3rd person a few times. Well I was quite enjoying it until I got to the end. You managed to simultaneously leave it with a massive cliff-hanger and throw the doctor in. This is the third time I've written this during the competitions, didn't anybody else think to do a stand-alone story, gah. Regardless though I did enjoy it. Dinky all grown-up was an interesting idea and one I commend you for. The characters were all the associable archetypes that everybody likes and you seemed to know a thing or two about fires. Cap annoyed me just because every time I heard it I thought it meant Captain, the character was okay but still. The plot was good despite the massive cliff-hanger, if you hadn't included the doctor though I felt it would've been better. You were highlighting the danger and the rough side of fire fighting rather than the glamorous heroism you seen in other stories, the doctor kind of ruined this image. The stereotypical knight in shining armour come to save everybody arrives at the end making all their efforts futile. But yes, enough ranting I have another story to check out.