The story is alright, but it suffers from a multitude of errors, horrible punctuation, and spelling/grammar problems. This needs an editor, desperately.
I said it once, and I'm saying it again: Spike needs to tell Twilight what is happening. At this point it's just like a worn pressure valve. At some point--some unforseen point--that valve is going to fail. When that happens, all hell is going to break loose.
Not to mention Applejack is the Element of Honesty. It's a pretty weak defense, but it has shown that she is a terrible liar; she has a horrible poker face and even the idea of exaggerating the truth throws her so far amuck it's ridiculous. She's going to tell Twilight and the others what happened about a dragon attacking herself and Applebloom, and of course the trail is going to lead to Spike.
And I hate to say it because I really like the guy, but Spike, you are really pathetic. You are afraid of what will happen to your pony friends, and at the same time you are afraid to actually accept your draconic roots. A real dragon--as a matter of fact, a real creature--would be able to take in his surroundings and take them in with pride and a bit of arrogance, like a real mature adult. He would take the problem by the claws and confront it head on, instead of all these methods that basically is saying "I'm too immature to control myself." No wonder he's still a hatchling. And I know it's pissing him off--it's starting to piss me off too, and it's really hard to piss me off whether it's real life or my ponysona here.
I'm almost predicting that within the next 3 chapters (if it goes to that point), Spike's going to be all along, and wanted, because he's going to do something really horrifying to him. The ponies will have nothing to do with him anymore, and obviously most dragons will want him dead, specifically Blaze, because that is nature--survival of the fittest.
Its pretty good
The story is alright, but it suffers from a multitude of errors, horrible punctuation, and spelling/grammar problems. This needs an editor, desperately.
Applejack... she don't know why the beast not eaten her. She is going to very curious, no? Detective Applejack?
Huh, how different must he look for neither the dragoness or AJ to at least have a hint of who he was?
Great chapter, looking forward to more.
Found this little hooHaa:
Threw*
so the beast and the scoler will become one
shit just got real!!!..... again!
I was worried for a second, thought this was going to get dark.
I said it once, and I'm saying it again: Spike needs to tell Twilight what is happening. At this point it's just like a worn pressure valve. At some point--some unforseen point--that valve is going to fail. When that happens, all hell is going to break loose.
Not to mention Applejack is the Element of Honesty. It's a pretty weak defense, but it has shown that she is a terrible liar; she has a horrible poker face and even the idea of exaggerating the truth throws her so far amuck it's ridiculous. She's going to tell Twilight and the others what happened about a dragon attacking herself and Applebloom, and of course the trail is going to lead to Spike.
And I hate to say it because I really like the guy, but Spike, you are really pathetic. You are afraid of what will happen to your pony friends, and at the same time you are afraid to actually accept your draconic roots. A real dragon--as a matter of fact, a real creature--would be able to take in his surroundings and take them in with pride and a bit of arrogance, like a real mature adult. He would take the problem by the claws and confront it head on, instead of all these methods that basically is saying "I'm too immature to control myself." No wonder he's still a hatchling. And I know it's pissing him off--it's starting to piss me off too, and it's really hard to piss me off whether it's real life or my ponysona here.
I'm almost predicting that within the next 3 chapters (if it goes to that point), Spike's going to be all along, and wanted, because he's going to do something really horrifying to him. The ponies will have nothing to do with him anymore, and obviously most dragons will want him dead, specifically Blaze, because that is nature--survival of the fittest.
SPIKE, GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER!!!!!