I'm not natively speaking english and make mistakes myself, but mate, please get an editor, seriously.
(no downvote, but hoping the best that someone capable will take care of this)

Intersting ideas but delivery needs work. You jumped around alot with very little details but seems like a good story in the making. Just needs some editing and details.

eh kid get an editor your story has great ideas but you need to edit your words or get an editor im going to follow your story good luck

Thanks for all the encouraging comments. I know I sound really dumb saying this but were do I get a editor?… I've only known about this site for a week now and I don't know everything about it. If anyone will be a editor for me that would be great!

Well that was fast...