"And so this is why the mongols were the exception..."
Mr. Earwood continued to drag on his world history lesson, the bell for the end of 3rd period was 10 minuets away, but for our 3 main characters, it might as well been 10 hours.
"psst, Dante!" A.J. Whispered.
He was sitting in front of him, turning around and deciding to spark up a chat about My Little Pony and what not. He was a short light skinned Mexican, short black hair and some signs of a potential super mustache.
Dante looked up from his desk, He was dark skinned with short dread locks, he was shorter then A.J. believe it or not. Dante was drawing in his journal as usual, currently drawing his pony OC flying with Rainbow Dash.
"yeah, what's up?"
"So, have you heard about that Equestria Girls movie? Looks decent." A.J. had been wanting to ask about that for a while, and when he finished his question, he had a huge sigh of relief.
"Oh yeah, I saw the trailer, it looks nice." Dante replied.
He normally doesn't talk much, but deep down inside, he was about to burst with excitement!
"What are you guys talking about?" Alex suddenly asked.
Sitting next to A.J, Alex usually keeps to himself, working on music or listening to music, but feels more sociable when around friends. Slightly long black hair, covering his left eye. He wore glasses that usually pushes back the bangs that cover his face. slightly shorter then A.J. (We are all short)
"We were talking about the new MLP movie" Answered Dante in a goofy tone.
"There's a damn movie about this shit?" Alex grew annoyed. While he did not care if he had friends who were bronies, He just never wanted to hear about it.
"I hear talking. please keep it down class, we have 5 minutes."
All 3 of them jumped with a start from the sudden voice of their teacher.
A.J. checked his watch and gave a sigh. "You know... What would happen if Alex was in Equestria? Just a little curious..." Asked A.J. He was somewhat serious about this question because he never thought of Alex being in Equestria.
"I would probably kill all the ponies." Replied Alex bluntly.
Hearing this, Dante's face grew a big grin. "I would like to see you try. You wouldn't have the guts to harm anything this cute."
Dante then pulled out his phone and on the screen was a filly applejack hugging an apple.
"Da fuck is this shit?" asked Alex harshly.
A.J. face palmed at this, causing him pain due to the ring he was wearing. "ouch... shit..."
RIIIIIIIIIIING As the bell rang, all the students sprang up from their chair and piled up at the door, slowly going through like a funnel. The 3 amigos said their good byes, represented by a "catch ya later" followed by a slapping of hands, and continued on with their school day. Alex shrugged off all that pony talk, He could care less... But, little did Alex know, that the thing he hated the most would soon be a huge earthquake in his life...
"Hurry up Twilight, We're going to be late for brunch!" Shouted Rainbow Dash from the air.
She had been flying with Twilight all morning helping her with weird flying/magic combos. Fluttershy invited them along with the other ponies to brunch at her cottage. Rainbow Dash normally wouldn't jump through hoops for this kind of thing, but she was invited and she felt like taking it easy today... If Twilight could fly strait!
"Wait up Rainbow... *pant* Magic and flying is surprisingly hard work... I don't think I can make it..." Twilight managed to get the words out of her mouth.
Magic and flying mixed together did not seem hard, but boy was she wrong!
"Do you need me to carry you?" Dash asked. She hoped that Twilight would say no but she knew the answer already.
"Yes please... GAHH!" As she said this, A sudden magic surge flowed from twilight's horn. Deep dark purple sparkles sparked off and flew everywhere. A black orb appeared in front of her horn, Rainbow was frightened and was very worried of what was happening to Twilight, but there was nothing she could do. Twilight was at the mercy of this strange magic.
Suddenly, as fast as the surge came, it disappeared just as quick! Twilight flopped to the ground, Rainbow Dash made a bee line to her, embracing her.
"Twilight! Are you okay? Oh my goodness!" Rainbow Dash was quivering with fear, she thought that she worked Twilight too hard.
"I'm fine.... wow, I feel.... relieved! that was strange."
Twilight was feeling her horn and looking all around. Everything seemed normal, although there was no way she would go without some medical attention.
Dash carried her to the hospital and contacted her friends to tell them what happened.
Oddly enough, There was nothing wrong with her. She checked out the same day and was acting like nothing happened... What was even more odd was that the magic surge caused nothing around her... At least, that she knew of. Some where in the Everfree forest, A warp hole just so happened to open up, and it conveniently managed to find a way to get to Earth. And it is somehow going to find a way to get a human to Equestria.
Alex got home feeling exhausted. Math homework, chemistry, and a film project due in 3 weeks, it was going to be a long night. He finished his math which was surprisingly easy, but he might have done it wrong... He moved on to chemistry which was impossible.
"Fuck that shit, I'm sure Dante knows how to do this." Alex grumbled to himself.
That left the film script, which was due in 3 weeks. "I have time." He thought to himself, and went over the day in his mind.
Feeling pretty confident that there was no more homework that he knew of, he got on his computer and booted up Minecraft. As the game started up, the screen started to flicker, the lights started to dim, Alex looked around his room and saw that his shelves were shaking.
"What the hell..." Suddenly, A loud thunder crack pierced his ears, dark fog rose from the floor.
Alex sprang from his chair and ran to the door, but the door instantly de-materialized when he got close to it. The fog was forming a circle around him, slowly getting closer and closer.
"Help! Anybody! Mom! Dad!" Alex was screaming, kicking at walls, anything to... some how get out of this situation.
Suddenly, The fog closed in with frighting speed! Swallowing Alex in its seemingly bottomless pit of a mouth. Alex passed out from sheer fright and the force of the fog, falling into a world of chaos and despair. Was he dead? Was he dreaming? Or was this some kind cruel joke played by some outer worldly being?
One thing was certain, he was fucked....
Was this s'posed to be funny?
I didn't even read
2834210
One doesn't have to to get an idea of how bad this fic is going to be...
2834195 Judging from the comedy, yes.
The issue is probably not about textwalling, as I can read it just fine. As the introduction text is the very first thing a reader would see before clicking the chapters, I'd suggest trimming it down and leave only very interesting tidbits - picture yourself as a total stranger stumble upon this story, what kind of things would interest them?
The first chapter reads a little confusing to me, partly because of a character also use the name A.J. (You can give some explanation first to prevent this kind of confusion) You may also consider spend some words to setting up things to draw people into caring what these characters do, such as something unusual (or appeal to their similarity with the readership) about these characters. This way, people will be more inclined to catch what happen to them next.
Good lord....
2834709 I know it sucks
2834699 The only reason that there is an A.J. Character is because that part of the story where it took place at the school was taken from An actual conversation that me and my friends had. The A.J. in the story is me, but past me...
I like it! I don't know why everyone else doesn't. it is a little bit strange how you have it worded but I really like the simplicity of the characters and the fact that the one that gets sucked into equestria is the one who doesn't want to be there.
2867230 thank you for seeing my story into an optimistic view. I never ment to make this a really serious best fan fic ever/ best story thing made since war and piece. I am not the best writer in the world, but there are worse made fics out there. besides, Writing fan fics are supposed to be for fun/ amusement purposes right?
This story is a gold mine. I love when people put non bronies into stories, rather than bronies. It's always funny to me. I think this just got down voted a lot because non Brony Alex, people get butt hurt over weird things sometimes.
2945467 I think that its because of my poor writing skills. Which is a huge reason why, the butt hurt part... probably not. But I don't really see too much of "non brony" stories so I was like might as well try.
dante and alex..... seems legit