Have you wondered if their could ever be a third Alicorn? The sun, moon and what other princess? The story of Princess Everfree continues!
Have you wondered if their could ever be a third Alicorn? The sun, moon and what other princess? The story of Princess Everfree continues!
2773049
Ok. Thanks.
-Alicorn OC
-Sister Of Celestia and Luna
-Did a good job with it
i173.photobucket.com/albums/w54/goldilocks_05/rainbow_dash_seal_of_approval_by_lemonyhooves-d3d8vey.png
Of course there's a third alicorn!
We have Cadence, and now Princess Twilight Sparkle!
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I know Alicorn Oc's are kinda frowned upon slightly but I just went for it. Thank yous!
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I meant before that ever happened...
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It was a joke, don't worry.
Both those things (cadence, and twilight's coronation) infuriate me. Cadence, not as much.
2773136
Yeah...
Well, I ignored the alicorn OC, and the description error their. For the most part, I liked this, but I must point out a few things. The constant use of commas are unnecessary, and when doing a narration, it is unwise to use exclamation marks. It tends to make the reader feel like they're reading a Billy Mays commercial. You tell most of the story instead of show it, and the characters are hard to believe. Still, it was done much better than most with very few flaws other than the ones I showed up above.
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Thankss
Fix the grammar and capitalization errors and this'll be great.
2782646
I might make a sequel, if I'm up to it..
Still loving it.
Interesting premise. Continue
Hehehe... Well I had to basically write this chapter because Skylar was in a creativity slump... I admit I'm not a very good writer... Or even a good writer... I prefer editing. So! Don't blame her if you think- hey wait a minute, am I doing that thing when writers always think their work is terrible when it isn't?- this chapter was terrible. Blame me. If you think it was good blame her. I'm a strange being.
2812589 ...seriously? I thought what we wrote was terrible... But thanky very much.
(This is why I'm not a writer, I start to get rather... Negative...)
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Silly, you're good, you basically wrote that whole chapter yourself with little to nothing from me. Just listen to the comments.
And let the comments ring from across the mountains and valleys, today we rejoice in holy matrimony. Hauula!
2813171 ummmm... What?
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And there it is friends the ugly truth, we have ascended from the dung from man. It is by Talos that I guide you, for I LOVE you!
Brace the powerful tacos. Watch and LEARN from me friends. LEARN!
2815286 okay... Just the bells part seemed kinda... Unnerving...
Mmmmmm. Very good chapter indeed.
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Thank You!