In Which Rainbow Gives Applejack a Hard Time
Twilight telekenetically tossed a book over her shoulder, but it was but one of many to meet this fate.
"No, no... not that one, no..." she said, glancing at and then tossing aside book after book as she rifled through her shelves. "Rrrgh!" she growled in frustration, "Where is it?!"
The door flew open. Twilight turned to look...
And was met with a dirty, sweaty, sticky purple cloth wrapped over her face, casting her world in sudden darkness.
"H-hey!" Twilight said in surprise, and made to remove the offending object with her magic.
"Do not remove the cape, Twilight Sparkle!" then, after a moment’s thought: “...Also, it is sticky with potion. Do not lick the cape, Twilight Sparkle!”
"Trixie?" Twilight said. "Oh right, because of the want-it-need-"
"Yes yes yes!" Trixie interrupted impatiently. "There is not much time. Trixie's... ahem... suitors... are right outside!" Trixie was running from window to window, looking nervously outside at the rapidly approaching horde.
"Oh, okay, no problem."
"Trixie fears we may be torn limb from... what now?"
"No problem," Twilight said again. "I'll just put up a shield spell," Twilight said from behind her makeshift mask, her voice somewhat muffled.
Trixie was aghast. "Around the whole building?!"
Twilight cocked her shrouded head to one side in slight confusion, "Unless you think I need to make it bigger for some reason?"
"Bigger?! How can you... the whole building... without even..." Trixie sputtered, until finally bringing herself back around with "Trixie hates you."
Twilight's horn glowed briefly underneath her new headwear. "It's done. The building should be safe for a few hours."
Trixie blinked. "But you didn't even break a sweat..." Trixie began, but then felt her fatigue begin to hit her. Her muscles burned, her legs ached. Her knees wobbled. Her horn throbbed. She didn't so much sit down on the floor as she did collapse on it.
"Trixie?" Twilight said, her vision still obscured. "I think I have something that will help me see with your... condition. I'm going to go get it, and then I need to find my book, and then I can start helping you."
Trixie didn't immediately respond, so Twilight began feeling her way towards her basement lab. Fortunately, Twilight knew her home very well, and was able to navigate by touch and sound with much trouble.
After a couple of minutes, Twilight emerged from the basement wearing an enormous pair of goggles, with pale green lenses and various knobs and gauges on the sides. They appeared to be made of brass, and must have weighed several pounds.
"I developed these after my... incident with the want-it-need-it spell. They should protect me from..." Twilight began explaining, only to see that in her absence, Trixie had gotten back up, walked over to the shelf, had pulled a book off of it, and had fallen fast asleep on the floor next to it. It was the exact book Twilight had been searching for.
Twilight levitated the book up and onto her worktable, which was positioned next to her own cauldron.
Turning back to Trixie, Twilight found herself smiling at her. Rolling her eyes a little and shaking her head good-naturedly, Twilight levitated over a pillow and blanket, which she situated comfortably for her unusual guest.
"Twilight... Sparkle... can... fix... this..." Trixie murmured as Twilight adjusted her head gently onto the pillow.
Twilight's smile broke just a little wider. "I'll do my best Trixie. I'll do my best."
. . .
Celestia, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, and Big Mac arrived on the scene of the burning four-story building.
"Can't you... you know," Dash waved her hoof at the burning building, "just... Princess this all away?"
Celestia frowned in thought. "Well, I could rip the roof off, but there would be heavy, flaming debris falling off of it. Or... I could rip those beams out of the way through the window and wall, but there's a chance that there could be a collapse, or even a backdraft..."
"No! Ain't we got a real plan?!" Applejack said, stomping her hoof for emphasis, impatience showing itself in her body language.
"Fire shield?" Celestia suggested. "I could put a shield up around you, and you could try to make your way to them through one of the other windows?"
"That's a plan! Let's go with that!" Applejack said, Rainbow and Big Mac nodding in agreement.
"Very well. I will put a fire shield up around the three of you to protect you from the heat. I will have to remain stationary to concentrate on the spell, but I should be able to levitate one of you up to one of the windows up there. Rainbow, can you carry Applejack up there?"
"Well, ordinarily I could, but I think she's been hitting the apple pies pretty hard lately, if you know what I mean..." Rainbow wanted to say, but of course this was a crisis, and so instead she said, "Yeah, I got her, Princess!" saluting smartly. Still, Rainbow cracked a rather stupid grin picturing the face Applejack would've made.
"Excellent. Once the three of you get inside, just go find them, bring them to the window, and I can levitate them down from there."
Celestia planted her hooves, closed her eyes, and tilted her horn upwards slightly. As the Princess' horn lit up, a small, fiery orange sphere began to form a couple inches above the tip of her horn. After a moment, it coalesced into a miniature sun, and three sunbeams shot out from it, striking Big Macintosh, Applejack, and Rainbow Dash, and covering each of them with a faint orange layer.
Big Mac was looking at his hoof, studying the fire shield, when he was rather suddenly and quickly picked up and rushed to the fourth floor window one room down from the Crusaders' room. "Whoa!" he said in surprise, his eyes widening as he went from ground level to four stories in the air in the blink of an eye, the window approaching quickly. He frowned, and quickly covered his eyes.
Rainbow Dash swooped down and grabbed Applejack around her midsection, lifting her into the air and flying after Big Mac.
Celestia could hear Applejack yelling at Rainbow as the two flew away. Seems Rainbow just couldn't resist a crack about her weight after all. I mean, let's face it, it's Rainbow.
Regardless, the rescue was underway!
. . .
BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!
The blows of the titans rumbled like thunder as they fought.
Giant Spike and giant Discord met each other in a grapple, claws grasped together as each fought for an advantage over the other.
Discord was taller, but Spike was heavier and had a lower center of balance. They were well matched.
"You know, Spike," Discord said, conversationally, the strain that would have been present during such exertion in any other being absent from his voice, "it's been a long time since I've enjoyed myself as much as this. Maybe we should make this, say, a weekly thing? We could meet on Thursdays, transform into monsters, battle each other..."
"ROOOOOOAAAAARRRRR!" Spike replied.
"Hmm. The conversation would not be terribly stimulating, I suppose... still..."
Spike opened his mouth. A green glow began to form in the back of his throat.
"Oh no," said Discord. "Spike..."
The glow became a fiery flicker.
"Spiiiike..." Discord said, warningly.
Spike's stared straight at Discord, his claws tightening around Discord's, holding the draconequus in place. His eyes began to glow green.
"Can't we... talk about this?" Discord tried. And then his face was bathed in green flame.
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Aww, nice to see Trixie looking for Twilight's help, even if she hates her guts.
Aww, nice to see Spike spew atomic green death into Discord's face.
Such feels.
Yes.
No.
Yes.
so celestia just got a giant discord?
Insurance in Ponyville must be hella expensive.
I admit.. I would buy a ticket to see a giant monster fight. Discord would rake in the bits.
4653682 I doubt you could even get insurance there; the whole place is probably under a blanket "Acts of God" clause or something similar. Either that or the premiums would be insanely high.
Also, Twilight has Anti-Shipping Goggles. Useful!
And Trixie finally gets to relax, safely knowing that Twilight will save her. That's actually incredibly sweet, that deep down she has that faith in her rival.
4653401
Like a birthday, but wayyyyyyy worse!
4653519
Or...
weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/slothcano.jpg
4653682
The opportunity for an "insurance salespony" fic series is lucrative and relatively unexploited, I'd wager... hmmmm...
4653769
Discord Giant Monster MMA: the only rule... is there are no rules.
4655418
Do not dash (
) my "insurance salespony" franchise! I have dreams! 
Brand new dreams that I just made up! 
And...
"No one can know. No one can ever know." 
Oh, and:
4652968
4657703
If you wrote it, I would definitely read it. And probably like and favorite it too.
Y'know, there's a whole theory about how the reason Germany is an industrial powerhouse today is because of an odd variation of the economics idea of convergence between nations. Germany, having been bombed and razed drastically during the 2nd World War, didn't have much of centuries of old infrastructure left, and so everything had to be rebuilt. Compared to Britain and France, which still have lots of 19th or 18th century architecture.
...what I'm saying is, after Ponyville rebuilds for the nth time and finally stop having disasters, they should become an economic powerhouse that dashes ahead of the likes of Manehatten and Canterlot.