One Last Letter

What if Celestia hadn't sent those letters to Twilight, reigniting her love for her friends and the bonds they shared? Let's find out.

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 8 )

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Silvertie

Silvertie #1 · Feb 15th, 2012 · · ·

A decent "what if" story, if a little short.

Easy things first: Double check the spelling, and those words which are spelled right, but used wrong. (Your instead of you're is a key example.)

Second, the intro was fine. It's the ending which is a bit rough. While I wasn't expecting Twilight and Spike to turn it all around at the last moment or anything, it was quite abrupt. (A case of "rocks fall, everypony dies" - very definite, and not subtle or graceful at all)
That said, I don't really know how you'd make it less abrupt, short of waffling on and dancing around the issue a little.

In summary; a neat little one-shot, but it needs a bit of polishing and maybe some fleshing out.

Wayofthepen

Wayofthepen #2 · Feb 15th, 2012 · · ·

Saw this title, read description, and played the song while reading. Pretty good, but I agree with Silver Tie.

awkwardGardener

awkwardGardener #3 · Feb 15th, 2012 · · ·

Nice job over all, but your spelling and grammar need work. Also, why did you stay up until 3am writing a fanfic?

maximus25

maximus25 #4 · Feb 15th, 2012 · · ·

223123

I just couldn't figure out how to end it. I drew much inspiration from the song, but putting Spike there complicated it. I couldn't decide on him just leaving, moving on in the chaos, or what I did. I feel I made the wrong choice...

223356

Because I was listening to an AMAZING song and couldn't sleep. Inspiration comes at the weirdest times.

Dracmatais

Dracmatais #5 · Feb 15th, 2012 · · ·

Would it be possible to get a link to the song? I remember listening to it a while back but I can't find it now.

The story was pretty good. Not spectacular by any means but decent. 3/5. I think that the best thing that could have been done to improve this was to possibly expand at least a little on spikes fate at the end so it doesn't end quite so abruptly.

maximus25