Joined May 2012

The sexiest man you've ever met.


Stories (13)

  • Just Being Pinkie Pie
    During the most violent storms, Pinkie runs outside and sits on the tallest hill in Ponyville. Everyone says she's "just being Pinkie". But she knows that by showing love for the storms, she shows love for the pony who makes them.

    3,429 words · 4,751 views · 539 likes · 7 dislikes
  • Spring is Dumb
    Rainbow Dash definitely didn't do anything wrong. Rarity is the one who's wrong. Rainbow Dash is absolutely, totally, a hundred percent sure of it. But then why did she just buy a wagon load of apology bouquets?
    9,255 words · 4,978 views · 848 likes · 22 dislikes
  • Where Have the Stars Gone?
    What does it mean to be immortal? Celestia's memory is very old. It is twisted and confused. She wakes one night to find that she can no longer tell her memories and her dreams apart. She no longer knows what was real and what was only dreamed.
    2,871 words · 3,196 views · 474 likes · 11 dislikes
  • Rarity's Mare of the Evening
    Applejack discovers that Rarity has been seeing an escort.
    4,148 words · 9,183 views · 740 likes · 29 dislikes
  • Acquiesce
    15,053 words · 5,033 views · 326 likes · 12 dislikes
  • You Want Me
    22,175 words · 3,639 views · 516 likes · 24 dislikes
  • Ponies and Throwing Knives
    11,609 words · 4,433 views · 346 likes · 16 dislikes
  • Twisting Between the Sheets
    24,811 words · 6,474 views · 513 likes · 31 dislikes
  • Scrambled Eggs and Mashed Potatoes
    15,963 words · 3,345 views · 434 likes · 26 dislikes
  • Disgraced
    8,117 words · 3,480 views · 241 likes · 13 dislikes

Blog Posts (76)


Applejack steps out of her barn to discover that her home is gone, and the entirety of Sweet Apple Acres has been transformed into a beach. Meanwhile, Rainbow Dash is opening up a juice bar on her front lawn, Pinkie Pie's dancing the hula, and Big McIntosh is getting his groove on. And she soon realizes that her troubles have only just begun.

First Published
17th Jul 2013
Last Modified
17th Jul 2013

Comments ( 55 )

#1 · 61w, 2d ago · 2 · ·

I think the real key to randomness is in fact chaos, not truly being random. That is to say, unpredictability, not non-predictability. There is a certain order to chaos, its own twisted kind of order, whereas truly random things are just that.

I think this story strayed too far into being random.

#2 · 61w, 1d ago · · ·

My head is spinning :applejackconfused:

Awesome story though :rainbowlaugh:

#3 · 61w, 1d ago · 1 · ·


#4 · 61w, 1d ago · · ·


Probably. I wouldn't try to argue otherwise. I went into this knowing I wasn't writing an actual story, just quick and easy gags for a few quick and easy laughs. I'm hesitant to even call it real comedy. In fact, I'd consider this to be in the very low realms of the humor totem pole.

That said, I think there's a place for this type of fic, a very small and out of the way sort of place, but it has its niche, and it's not an inherently terrible idea. If all you want is a little pointless nonsense to sate your appetite between a couple real stories, here's your fic.

#5 · 61w, 1d ago · 4 · ·


#6 · 61w, 1d ago · · ·

I'm glad all this randomness actually had a reason for it - hence the magical artifact - I read far too many ridiculous stories containing story elements that never get explained in the end. That said, good random story

#7 · 61w, 1d ago · · ·

Dafuq did i just read....:rainbowderp:

#8 · 61w, 1d ago · · ·

I don't know what I just read, but it made me chuckle, so...I guess that works?

#9 · 61w, 20h ago · 1 · ·


Don't ask me. I just wrote the thing.


I didn't include the artifact at first, but I figured I needed some kind of small explanation so I didn't make people too angry.


That's about as much as I could hope for. Mission accomplished!


You sir/ma'm, have an unusual sense of humor.

#10 · 61w, 14h ago · · ·

>>2898665 that, I do :pinkiehappy:

#11 · 60w, 6d ago · 1 · ·





*Opens mouth to speak*




*Closes mouth*

*Presses like and moves on*

#12 · 60w, 2d ago · · ·

Very nice story. It actually took me quite a long time to figure out how any of this was possible. Normally you can guess, but this was unique.

#13 · 60w, 31m ago · · ·

Oh god. I laughed more than I should have.

Which was a lot. :rainbowlaugh: :rainbowlaugh: :rainbowlaugh: :rainbowlaugh: :rainbowlaugh: :rainbowlaugh:

#14 · 59w, 7h ago · 2 · ·


Shhh, just let it happen.


Thank you.


Wow, 6 full Rainbow Dash emoticons worth. That is a lot.

#15 · 57w, 6d ago · · ·

And...  Yeah just gonna go with the flow on this one.  


*Presses like, moves on.*

Yay :rainbowkiss::heart::pinkiehappy: though.

#16 · 57w, 5d ago · · ·

Well, that was certainly a thing that happened. Or possibly several things. Conveyed via the medium of words on a screen. That's really all I can say to it.

#17 · 57w, 5d ago · · ·

Jeez.  Major overkill for a practical joke...

If I was in AJ's place, I'd be so pissed shit would be flying EVERYWHERE.

#18 · 57w, 5d ago · · ·


Yeah, it's good to occasionally have a story that basically says "EVERYTHING'S SO DAMN WACKY!" and it's funny, but don't do it frequently.

And I'm glad you used Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie as the pranksters.  Not only is it canon, it reminds me of Pink and Blue from "Charlie The Unicorn".  Warping reality itself for a few cheap laughs at some poor schmuck's expense!

#19 · 57w, 5d ago · · ·

Short and sweet. :pinkiesmile: Awesome ending too, the work that must have gone into that baffles me; but meh, it's Pinkie Pie :derpytongue2:

#20 · 57w, 4d ago · 1 · ·

I haven't read the story yet but after reading the synopsis I want a story where the mane 6 gets transported to a small island where they have to build a house and learn to survive, you know, Robinson Cruseo style.

#21 · 57w, 4d ago · · ·

I laughed.

#22 · 57w, 4d ago · · ·

Seriously, this was amazing! I haven't really read any fics in awhile, so I'm not really sure what made me read this one. But I'm glad I did.

#23 · 57w, 4d ago · · ·


#24 · 57w, 4d ago · 1 · ·


Try reading "Mother of Invention". It's only Applejack but it's definitely full of the struggle of survival.

#25 · 57w, 4d ago · 2 · ·

I'm realy confused:derpyderp2:

#26 · 57w, 4d ago · · ·

You know what?

I blame Discord.

#27 · 57w, 4d ago · · ·

I used to be confused.

But somehow I understood it later on.


#28 · 57w, 4d ago · · ·

......This song seems so appropriate right now.

#29 · 57w, 4d ago · · ·

“My apples haven’t been bucked for weeks, and they’re doing just fine.”

Lost it at that.

Love the whole story.  Well done on it.

~Skeeter The Lurker

#30 · 57w, 4d ago · · ·

>>3032317 Glad I'm not the only one who was reminded of that fic when reading this. :ajsmug:

#31 · 57w, 3d ago · 1 · ·

Possibly the most impressive thing about all this is that it WASN'T a dream at the end.

#32 · 57w, 3d ago · · ·

:moustache:The Rainbow Dash art was too cute! MLP needs a beach episode! And those two really stepped their pranking up a notch!

#33 · 57w, 3d ago · · 1 ·

Hawiian steryotypes

But its okay because dash and pinkie got pakalolo instead of batu

#34 · 57w, 2d ago · 2 · ·


I definitely didn't include the PinkieDash just because they're adorable together. It definitely had an actual purpose in the story...


This is a clever reply to your clever comment.

Everyone look at us! Look at how clever we are!


Throwing your feces at people is never a reasonable response, no matter how angry you are.


Heh, I forgot about Charlie the Unicorn. This is a bit like that, now that I think about it.


No amount of work is too much work when it comes to a prank. The more ridiculously convoluted the better.



Me too. Glad you enjoyed it.




Discord blames you.


Have you tried reading it while hanging upside down? That worked for me.


You'll have to explain it to me sometime.


I didn't even know Pinkie Pie had her own apple orchard.


How do you know? How do you know this isn't all the dream of a turtle in outer space?


Seriously, how is there not a beach episode yet?


I'll have you know I very carefully researched Hawaiian culture before writing this.

And then I just wrote whatever I wanted anyway.

#35 · 57w, 2d ago · 1 · ·


I don't think that's quite what she meant.

~Skeeter The Lurker

#36 · 57w, 1d ago · · ·

>>3047215 It was just a figure of speech man.  An expression.  I like a good prank even at my expense but some take it too far.

#37 · 57w, 1d ago · · ·


But... But... You're the author!

You're suppose to understand!


#38 · 57w, 1d ago · · ·

Too bad it was temporary. Sweet Apple Resort would have been one heck of a business venture for the Apple family :pinkiehappy:

#39 · 57w, 1d ago · · ·

>>3047215 Who cares man. All you have to do is make it seem like you're not an ignorant mainlander and you're awesome in my book.

Some just take it another step farther. Then end up on weed.

#40 · 57w, 1d ago · 1 · ·

Most elaborate prank for something silly EVER. :rainbowlaugh:

#41 · 57w, 21h ago · · ·

I read this and w i am wondering what the heck just happened. I can form no opinion on this random comedy (though i did like it).

#42 · 56w, 6d ago · · ·


He's messing with your mind. Like what he did in this fic.  

#43 · 56w, 4d ago · 1 · ·


Especially with all the dancing going on. Definitely sounds like my kind of place to be.


Pfft, that was nothing. I totally threw my sister threw a window once, and that took way more work than anything here.


Well, maybe this random comedy can't form an opinion on you. Ever think of that?

But it likes you too. :heart:

#44 · 56w, 4d ago · · ·

Rainbow thinks she's won, but I saw through her clever ploy! She switched the drink with cherry lemonade while nopony was looking! It's the only explanation! :derpytongue2:

#45 · 53w, 4d ago · · ·

I liked the rhythm of the whole thing, and specially just how straight AJ played the whole thing. All in all, a decent absurdist comedy. In fact, the style reminds me somewhat of Murakami.

#46 · 52w, 6d ago · · ·

:facehoof:Just ignore it until it makes sense...

#47 · 48w, 6d ago · · ·

:facehoof: no no no just no.

#48 · 48w, 6d ago · · ·


yes yes just yes

#49 · 40w, 3d ago · · ·

very interesting and very odd. I liked it but was really confused pretty much the entire time. kept thinking it was gonna be her in a dream or coma. im surprised pinkie didn't make the joke on RD to be that she got her to kiss her.

#50 · 34w, 4d ago · · ·

I was like:twilightoops:then:duck:and:facehoof:

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