Everypony Knows About the Wet Dream

by Late_To_The_Party

Revealing the Truth

“I apologize, darling, but you’ll have to speak up. What did the Princess do?” Rarity asked, tilting her head to better hear Twilight.

“She...” Twilight trailed off into a mumble.

“One more time?”

“She...” Twilight closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “She kissed me.”

“She what?” Rarity’s jaw only missed the floor due to the structural limitations of the joint itself.

“With tongue.”

“With...”

“There was lots of tongue.”

“I...”

“I didn’t know anypony had that much tongue.”

Rarity’s mouth worked soundlessly.

“It makes sense, I guess. I mean, she is bigger than anypony else so it's logical to expect that her tongue would be bigger too, right? I just never expected to experience that fact for myself, certainly not firsthoof like that where our tongues were actually touching and oh my gosh there were hundreds of ponies watching and taking pictures and I just sort of blacked out after that and I’m not really sure how I got back to Ponyville and was it just a dream—” Twilight opened her eyes again, really seeing Rarity for the first time. “—and Rarity when did you get here?” Her eyes widened in horror as she realized everything she’d just said, and that there was someone there to hear it.

“Well, darling, I came by to see if you were okay, but I can see that’s rather complicated at the moment.”

“What did I say?” Twilight whispered.

“You told me that Princess Celestia kissed you,” Rarity said.

Twilight gasped. “Don’t tell anyone!”

Rarity smiled consolingly. “Darling, it’s too late for that.”

“What do you mean?”

“You said it yourself, Twilight. There were hundreds of ponies taking pictures. By tomorrow at the latest all of Equestria will know. It wouldn’t matter if I were to tell anyone. However, I promise that nothing you say will leave this room. So tell me, Twilight,” Rarity said, her own worries forgotten momentarily in favor of what she believed to be much juicier gossip. “Did you enjoy it?”

“What? Did I—”

“Yes, darling, it’s a simple enough question. You had a kiss, did you enjoy it?”

“Well I— it was— I— I don’t know!” Twilight moaned and smacked her face onto her bed. “Mph mm mph mph mm mphmm?”

“I beg your pardon?”

Twilight lifted her face away from her blankets and tried again. “Why did this have to happen?”

“You’d have to tell me, darling. What was the press conference about that could lead to two princesses making out in front of hundreds of ponies?”

Twilight flinched at Rarity’s bold expression of what happened. She sighed and climbed out of bed to face her friend. “It was to address the rumors that Princess Celestia and I were... together... and that you and Princess Luna were... together. And then that we were all four... together... at the same time.”

Rarity gasped. “That’s my dream!”

Twilight’s eyes widened and she turned away from Rarity with a gasp of her own. After a second she realized what that meant was left facing Rarity and she tucked her tail between her legs.

“Darling, what’s wrong? Why did you just tuck your tail down?” Rarity asked.

“Why are you looking at my tail?” Twilight screeched, whipping around to face Rarity again.

“What? I—” Rarity reached out a calming hoof, but Twilight scrambled backwards up onto her bed and out of reach.

“We’re friends isn’t that enough?”

“Of course it is! Who said it wasn’t?”

“You did! Just now!”

“What? I did no such thing!”

“Yes you did! You just said ‘that’s my dream’ so you must have been wanting something like that for a long time!” Twilight’s face contorted in disgust. “At the slumber parties,” she whispered. “You didn’t...do anything...did you?”

"Good heavens, no! Of course not! Even if I did have such desires, I would never act on them! Losing a friend’s trust is the fastest way to lose a friend."

Twilight flinched and looked around frantically. After a couple seconds she relaxed and sat down. Rarity opened her mouth to ask what was wrong when her question was answered. A sudden explosion of movement threw Twilight and her blankets from her bed.

"Foreeveer!" Pinkie Pie yelled from the spot on the bed where Twilight had been a second earlier. Twilight, meanwhile, was groaning in surprise and pain—and maybe a little annoyance—from the floor of the lower level of her bedroom.

"Sorry for the wait," Pinkie said. "I had to find a good spot." She looked down at Twilight who was struggling to stand while rubbing a sore wing. Pinkie put her forehooves on her hips and looked at Rarity disapprovingly. "Did you forget something?"

Rarity hesitated before answering. "Not that I can think of," she said, cringing.

"You said you'd invite me next time," she said with a hint of a whine in her voice.

"Invite you? I'm afraid you've lost me, darling."

Pinkie gestured to Rarity, then to Twilight, who was still rubbing her wing, then to the bed she was sitting on.

Rarity stared blankly, not understanding what Pinkie was referring to. Then she remembered what Twilight had told her. Pinkie Pie thought that Rarity’s dream really happened. And she thought that Rarity had promised to invite her next time.

"You think I’m here to...with Twilight? And you want to...with us?"

"Well, duh!" Pinkie said as though it was the most obvious thing in the world. "I mean, here you are in Twilight's bedroom, and she's obviously getting ready for you; just look at the way she's rubbing herself!" Twilight dropped her hoof away from her wing, screamed, and ran out of the room.. "You told me you'd invite me the next time you were about to have super-amazing fun, and what's more super-amazingly fun than this?" Pinkie looked around. "Hey, where'd Twilight go? We were just about ready to start."

---

Rarity tried to convince Pinkie Pie that it had all been a dream, but in the end she had to just remind her that she would invite Pinkie the next time she was going to have ‘super-amazing fun’ and that wasn’t going to happen yet. After Pinkie left, Rarity left the room in search of Twilight.

“Twilight?” she called from the stairs. There was no answer, not that she really expected one with the way Twilight had left.

Rarity got to the ground floor to discover the main room of the library was empty except for Spike. She took a moment to be grateful for his—she didn’t want to say incompetence, because that wasn’t a very nice way to phrase it even though it was true—lack of skill in some areas. With the way Spike stood in front of the basement door, he was obviously guarding it. Rarity walked over to him and batted her eyelashes in the way that usually worked to get him to do whatever she wanted. Not that she really needed to bat her eyelashes, but it couldn’t hurt to be thorough.

“Spikey-wikey, have you seen Twilight anywhere?” She pouted for good measure. “I was trying to help her feel better but she ran off.”

“Um...” Spike shifted his weight nervously and glanced at the door behind him. “No. I mean yes! I mean, she went outside! Yeah, that’s it, she left! I don’t know when she’ll be back.”

“Oh, well, that’s too bad. I guess I’ll have to go outside to look for her.” Rarity took a few carefully exaggerated steps toward the door and looked back at Spike, who was staring at her with his mouth hanging ever-so-slightly open. “Would you be a dear and get me some water before I go? I am so very thirsty.”

Spike gasped and snapped to attention. “Of course, milady! Right away!” He ran into the kitchen. Rarity could hear something crash while she slipped into the basement and shut the door behind her. It was very dark in the basement, but she could hear breathing, and not just her own.

“Twilight?”

The other breathing stopped.

“Twilight, I know you’re down here. I just want to talk to you. Don’t worry, Pinkie Pie’s gone. I think she actually still believes we’re going to...but she’s gone now.”

“She is?” Twilight whispered from somewhere in the darkness below Rarity.

“Of course, darling. I wouldn’t lie to you.”

A hesitation. “I know.”

“Then believe me when I say that it was just a dream. Not my dream, like Rainbow’s dream of joining the Wonderbolts, but a dream, like that time Spike dreamed he was a dog and was chasing Winona around Sweet Apple Acres.”

Twilight turned on some lights in the basement and Rarity could see she was sitting on the floor at the base of the stairs. Rarity quickly went down the stairs to sit next to her. Twilight turned her head to face away from Rarity, but she didn’t move.

“Are you alright? It sounds like you had a big day yesterday.”

“I...I don’t know.” A teardrop hit the floor.

Rarity laid a hoof on Twilight’s withers. “Oh, darling, what’s wrong?”

Twilight choked back a sob. “I don’t know!”

“Shh, it’s okay.” Rarity tried to pull Twilight into a hug, but Twilight pushed her away.

“No! Don’t touch me!”

Rarity pulled back with a gasp. “Twilight?”

“All you ponies want is my body! You, Pinkie Pie, even...”

“Celestia?”

Twilight nodded.

“It’s not true, Twilight. Don’t take this the wrong way, but I have no physical interest in you at all!”

Twilight sniffled and turned to face Rarity. Had Rarity looked as Twilight did at that moment, she wouldn’t have shown her face to anyone, but Twilight was far less concerned about her own appearance, so Rarity didn’t mention the bloodshot, puffy eyes or the snot leaking out of her nose. Or the snot bubble which occasionally appeared while Twilight breathed. “Really?” she asked hopefully.

“Really.”

It took every ounce of self-restraint Rarity had not to scream when Twilight hugged her, burying her face into her chest. Rarity could feel Twilight’s nasal mucus smearing onto her coat. She delicately pushed Twilight’s head back.

“And you know Pinkie Pie doesn’t feel that way about you, she just wants everyone to have fun. To paraphrase what she said, ‘what’s more fun than that?’ She wasn’t upset when I explained that you weren’t interested, but she would be upset if she knew that you’re so unhappy.”

“But, Celestia...”

“It seems to me Princess Celestia was only trying to stop all the questions. If you reacted anything like you are now, those reporters wouldn’t think you’d been in a relationship with Celestia for years.”

Twilight turned away again with a strangled cry.

“Darling, what’s wrong now?”

“I don’t know!” Twilight yelled.

“Do you want to be in a relationship with Celestia?”

Twilight sniffled again. “I don’t know. Maybe?”

“Oh, dear. Then that kiss...”

Twilight started crying again and hugged Rarity, who whimpered slightly at the realization that Twilight’s snot bubbles were touching her mane. She reminded herself to be strong, that her friend needed her. She gritted her teeth and tried to soothe her friend. “Shh...” She stroked Twilight’s back, careful to avoid her wings and all the awkwardness that would cause. “If it makes you feel any better, I feel the same way.” Twilight stiffened. “Not about Celestia, of course.”

“Then who?” Twilight’s voice was muffled, and Rarity forced herself to focus on the conversation rather than the unspeakably ghastly things which were happening to her hair.

“Princess Luna. Lately I just can’t seem to stop thinking about her.”

Twilight loosened her grip on Rarity and leaned away so they could see each others’ faces. Rarity was horrified to discover that Twilight’s face was completely clean.

“What do you think we should do?”

Rarity smiled. “I think you should tell Celestia the truth.”

“What about you? Will you tell Luna?”

“Of course, darling,” Rarity lied smoothly. “Of course I will.”

With Twilight reassured, not to mention realizing that the whole mess was about a dream, Rarity went upstairs. Everyone else would have to learn the truth, but—

Rarity froze just short of the basement door. Everyone else. Her parents, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Applejack, Fluttershy...they all thought she had...that she was... Rarity took a steadying breath. There would be time enough to deal with that later; there was a much more pressing matter to handle first. Rarity walked calmly to the library door, ignoring Spike’s confused stare. She opened the door, stepped outside, and closed the door behind her. She took a deep breath, and screamed all the way back home to her shower.

---

Princess Luna sat in her room, having just raised the moon for the night. Somepony had delivered a couple articles to her room for her to read when she got a chance. The first one she had already read. It was not surprising to her that another rumor of Twilight and Celestia was going around. What surprised her was the rumor that Luna herself was with Rarity. Of course the fashionista was nice enough, and she always seemed to appreciate the night, and the gems which made up her cutie mark almost seemed to resemble stars in the night sky, not that Luna had ever noticed, but who would ever think they were involved with each other? The only possible evidence of that would be if they had seen her visiting the Boutique a few days earlier. That was hardly evidence. They might just as easily say that she was involved with Twilight Sparkle, since she had visited the library first. Thinking back on the article, that was exactly what they had said she had done. As well as her sister. She grimaced and moved to the next article, concerned about what else she might find.

No Royal Romance? Maybe Not Yet...

Hundreds of reporters, including this one, were shocked yesterday when a press conference at Canterlot Castle turned into a Celestia-Sparkle saliva swap. The address started out normally enough with Princess Celestia speaking to the crowd to dismiss allegations of any illicit relationship between herself and Princess Twilight Sparkle, who was present to take questions regarding her time as Princess Celestia’s student. As questions became more blunt, Princess Celestia became increasingly agitated, obviously as protective of Princess Twilight Sparkle as she has been in years past.

When Princess Sparkle was asked if she and Princess Celestia were only friends now, Princess Celestia had finally had enough, saying, “I think there is only one way to finally put these rumors to rest, once and for all. Twilight?” before leaning in for a kiss more intense than can be described here. Suffice to say more than a few ponies were looking away in embarrassment.

Princess Sparkle’s reaction can only be described as ‘stunned,’ and she didn’t say another word during the press conference. Princess Celestia ended the day with the following: “Can you all see her face right now? That is the face of a pony who has just kissed me for the first time. There was no romantic relationship of any kind between us in the past. Anything I may or may not have felt about Twilight is my business and mine alone—you can clearly see I never acted on such feelings at any time if indeed they existed.”

In this reporter’s opinion, judging by that interview and especially that kiss, “...indeed they existed.”

Princess Luna groaned and smacked both forehooves to her face.

“Ow.”

Comments

[SonataDTacoQueen]

Twilight loosened her grip on Rarity and leaned away so they could see each others’ faces. Rarity was horrified to discover that Twilight’s face was completely clean.

I absolutely could not stop laughing at that.

Also, is it safe to assume that there will be another chapter up tomorrow?

[Late_To_The_Party]

2708963 I'm glad, I thought it was pretty funny. Yes; there will be another chapter up tomorrow.

[Sparkler]

So, Celestia. I take it that this is one of the days you care.

[arancaytar]

Twilight flinched and looked around frantically. After a couple seconds she relaxed and sat down.

"I didn't expect some kind of Pinkie Inquisition..."

[shademaster24601]

No Pony expects the Pinkie Inquisition! Our chief weapon is surprise. Surprise and cupcakes. Cupcakes and surprise. Our two weapons are surprise and cupcakes and spontaneous songs. Our three weapons, surprise, cupcakes and spontaneous songs and a blatant disregard for the fourth-wall. Our four weapons!...wait no. Amongst our weapons...amongst our weapons are such elements as surpri...I'll come in again.

[CommisarSilver]

That's an interesting way of disproving a rumor. Wonder if it was a spur of the moment thing, twilight deserved some forewarning at least.