Bullet Drop tells of his epic journey to Equestria. Told in short sections.
Chapters (1)
Legoarmyman1
Joined 8th Jun, 2013 ·
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Two problems: Length and Grammar.
Every sentence begins with a capital and ends in a period, question mark, or exclamation point. Try re-reading it, or better yet, get a proofreader.
Secondly, the length. Go into more detail about things, even if it is mundane, tell us about Josh's thoughts. Expand the conversations a bit.
Remember when I said there were only two problems with this story?
rlv.zcache.com/i_lied_rage_face_meme_personalized_flyer-ra9a27dfea79140b0a916371898aa194a_vgvs0_8byvr_512.jpg
There's also the story. I know it's Pinkie Pie, but I doubt the first thing she would do is to tell Lyra about a human in Equestria. Also, why isn't anyone fazed when Josh says he watches MLP FiM, wouldn't you feel weird if some stranger said he knew everything about you, but you know absolutely nothing about this stranger, nor does anyone else?
Overall, I would recommend re-writing this, and checking the spelling over.
Boo.
When a story is about an OC by the name of the writer's username, you know it's going to be bad.
2704344 yeah, he was supposed to send it to me via e-mail for editing and grammar but that actually never happened..... I was kinda pissed when he said he posted it without giving it to me. That and I didn't want to rewrite the whole damn story for him. It's his story, not mine.
so much for love and tolerance i thought brony give good advice but no they are all nagitve? that makes no sence
well if you like the chapter 2 will come out soon and it will be better 
so if you have any ideas for it then give me a comment. this is my first fanfic so what do u suspect? 
2708609
this comment alone was better than the story
Seriously? Another lame "brony in Equestria" story and a comment deleter as well?
This is not going to be pretty. But I will welcome you to "Craptastic Stories" because I feel this one is going to go straight to the bottom really quick. No point in writing something long because you'll just delete it anyway.
2707349
Want advices ?
Never delete comments.
Then you have a proofreader and you post the story behind his back ? Why ?
As for the story it's a trainwreck plain and simple, no redeeming factors at all Inside.
upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/4/47/Thumbs_down.jpg
Ugh. This was a chore to read. Just to say what I thought from the beginning: This. Sucks.
Well, you had a horrifying run, but it's over. That was too quick... :c
2707349 make 'sence'? oh what fun is there in making 'sence'?
I agree it does suck but I will try to make better
will not delete another comment again sorry about that big mistake sorry everyone