I'll Show You "Apple Brown Betty"!
by Present Perfect
On the train to Rainbow Falls...
And we will make to the Games once everypony carbo-loads on my apple brown betties!
During tryouts...
Don't forget your betties!
On the way home...
How 'bout another apple brown betty for good luck? They're loaded with vitamins!
During the Equestrian Games...
Hoo-whee! That there's what an athlete looks like after eatin' a hoofful of homemade apple brown betties!
Around Ponyville...
Don't mention it, Dash. I know how much you love my apple brown betties, so I thought I'd load ya up with a few dozen!
Even in Rainbow Dash's dreams.
Apple brown betties! Grapple down letties!
She could see the smiling face of Applejack, pupils dilating and moving further apart as everything got closer, darker, insaner.
Apple...
Bapple
DAPPLE
"I can't take any more!" Rainbow screamed, waking in the dark of early morning to cold sweats and hyperventilation. "Make it stop!"
Rainbow Dash flew for Sweet Apple Acres like her tail was on fire. Years of practice breaking and entering Twilight's library would have made kicking through shutters foals' play, but Applejack had foolishly left her window open.
Rainbow hovered above the bed, sizing up her intended prey. Applejack slept soundly, snoring every so often, not a care in the world.
She woke with a jolt as Rainbow Dash screeched, "I'll show you 'apple brown betty'!"
"What in tarnation?"
Rainbow Dash made her angriest meme face ever and pushed.
"She got two solid kicks in before I could make it back out the window." Rainbow winced as the brush glanced across a sore spot below her withers. "You pretty much know the rest."
"I must say," Rarity said, elongating one of Dash's wings with her magic so she could scrub beneath it, "what in Equestria possessed you to wreak such an... err, 'vengeance' on poor Applejack?"
Dash scowled, then winced again and tucked her wing back along her side. She splashed a hoof against the surface of the tub water like a petulant foal.
"You just don't understand, Rarity." She shook her head slowly as Rarity scrubbed beneath her mane. "Applejack's voice was haunting me, day in and day out. Even in my sleep, all I could hear was 'apple brown betties'!" She shuddered. "I never want to hear those words again, as long as I live!"
Rarity clucked her tongue. "Honestly, Rainbow Dash, here I had thought I'd seen you at your worst, but you've set a whole new level for 'unladylike'! I wish I could expect better of you."
Rainbow Dash huffed, but said nothing.
There was a sudden thundering from the first floor of Rarity's boutique. Both ponies looked to the bathroom door, frowning.
"Now, whoever could that--"
Rarity was cut off as both the downstairs and bathroom doors were slammed open and a furious burst of yellow and pink stormed into the room.
"Rainbow Danger Elizabeth Professionalism Dash!" Fluttershy scowled at Rainbow like she had never scowled before. She made her angriest meme face ever and floated up over the tub until she was nose-to-nose with Dash.
"We do not, I repeat, do not make poopies on our friends!"
Dash was taken aback. Never had she seen her meekest friend so filled with fire. She might have been turned on if she weren't slightly worried for her life.
After a moment, her gaze averted from Fluttershy's. She couldn't take staring into those smoldering eyes any longer.
"It was just some fibrous nuggets," she mumbled. Nevermind that Applejack's kick had sent them flying all over Dash herself, landing her in her current and very literal mess.
"Applejack told me everything." The rage in Fluttershy's voice was just barely restrained from full-blown. "Do you think what you did was okay?"
Rainbow shook her head, still unwilling to look at Fluttershy.
"I can't hear you!"
"Mmno," Dash muttered. She could hear Fluttershy cross her arms and glare disapprovingly at her.
"Once your bath is over, you will fly to Sweet Apple Acres and apologize to Applejack! And you'd better believe I will be right there with you to make sure it is sincere! Do you understand me?"
Dash gave a positive mumble.
"All right," said Rarity, a little too cheerfully, "let's rinse!"
Dash had no time to retort before she was doused with water. Fluttershy tsk-tsked.
"I hope you learn your lesson after this little display!"
Rainbow sighed. "Yes, Fluttershy."
Fluttershy gave Rarity a knowing look. "Kids these days. You just cannot let them out of your sight for two minutes, I swear."
Rarity nodded and kept her distance. "Uh-huh."
There's always this defense: "She just kept saying it so much! I thought she wanted it!"
i137.photobucket.com/albums/q237/FuzzyFurvert/Image%20Macros/fluttershy_meme_equestriagirls_imagemacro_jimmies_smile_zpsd4bagtk0.png
I don't...
... get you.
Just when I thought I'd seen the last of that particular meme...
images.gr-assets.com/hostedimages/1455160538ra/18064117.gif
The hidden monsters... I will forget about this tomorrow.
Well, that was a thing that I read.
7693553
I don't know what this means, but I love it.
7693557
I don't either.
What, Fluttershy gets upset about RD unloading a turd on Applejack, but says nothing about all the Blue Ice that Rainbow dumps on Ponyville day in and out? I mean, we've all noticed there's no plumbing attached to Rainbow's cloud house, you do the math.
7693956
7694080
I did not know that song had a music video! :D Spiderbite are fucking awesome.
Why would you soil my user page with this? :B
I'm a little confused as to whether all the talk about brown betty put a bug in Dash's ear to try this, or if she got so pissed about AJ never shutting up about it that she was exacting some revenge. Either way works. I'm also a little mystified at Rarity's reaction. For one, I think she'd be really squeamish about helping Dash wash off poop. I couldn't tell at the end whether she was just intimidated by Fluttershy or didn't want to admit she found the scenario enticing. Her lack of squeamishness may point to the latter.
7694341
She's just done with Rainbow's shit.
I mean, she really should have seen this coming.
Applejack leaned slightly toward the bedroom door and listened hard.
Nothing.
Well, I reckon they're all asleep by now.
Her hooves trembled slightly as she carefully slid her nightstand's drawer open. Inside, there was a lock of Apple Bloom's mane, a notepad, a rather ragged quill, a few discarded bits, and a small jar. After a furtive glance back toward the door, she plucked the tiny jar out and pulled her comforter up over her head.
Her body quivered. Her heart raced. It was dark beneath the sheet, but she didn't need her eyes anymore.
Not for this.
As she unscrewed the jar's lid, the rank, delicious odor of feces rolled out and filled the small space she'd made for herself. It was a gift, this. A precious thing. An electric experience.
She'd made quite a show of kicking that shit back at Rainbow. But that's the thing about kickin' mushy stuff. Can't do it with gettin' a little in your hooves! She'd set that pegasus packing, but safe in the knowledge that she'd have a little to have fun with later on.
It just got that way with Rainbow sometimes. Applejack couldn't put a hoof on when it started, exactly. Probably just her bullshit dominant pegasus behavior. She'd see Applejack down there doing a day's honest work, and she'd just divebomb down and pee on her or something. It had gotten Applejack's mane knotted something fierce at first, but Rainbow was just so... so...
Applejack thrust her muzzle as deeply into the jar's small mouth as she could, then took an extended whiff. Deep down, her stomach roiled, but her loins clenched. Heat crept up into her neck. Her free hoof worked its way beneath her tail. Gagging, she pulled her nose away. It was disgusting. It was addictive.
Somewhere along the way, she'd just gotten all mixed up. She'd be all hot and bothered talking to Rainbow, then all of a sudden, poop from out of the sky because she'd said she had to get back to work instead of screwing around with that pegasus all afternoon. Then she'd have to go scrub it off. Stinking of shit or piss or both, she'd have to take care of one or two other pressing physical matters, as well. Got to be where she actually needed it to get off.
And in order to get off, she had to rile up Rainbow on the regular.
Damnation to sexy pegasi! Just one more sniff, Applejack thought, bringing the jar back to her nostrils. Just—
Outside, a board creaked.
Applejack's leg spasmed out blindly toward the nightstand. It rattled when the hoof smacked against its side. Growling, Applejack threw back the blanket and snatched up the jar's lid. Throwing the jar back into the drawer, she closed it with a little too much force.
"You okay in there, Applejack?" Granny's voice with thick with sleep.
"Uh, yeah. I'm okay," Applejack replied. Her hoof was pressed hard against her chest in a vain attempt to slow her wildly galloping heart. "I-I just bumped the nightstand is all."
Granny muttered something back, and moments later, Applejack her a door close. Falling back onto her pillow, she wiped her brow. That one had been too close. Applejack wiggled further into the covers and turned onto her left side. The side that faced away from her nightstand. All right, Applejack. You got a big day tomorrow. Better get some shuteye.
Willing calmness, Applejack slowed her breathing. She stretched out her muscles, relishing the release of tension. It had been a long, strange day, and she deserved a little rest. Yawning, she pulled the blanket just under her chin and waited.
Silently, the house waited, too.
Applejack's eyes popped open and flitted over to the nightstand. Okay, just one more.
7694934
Now it is my turn to ask goddammit, why
7695307 Things just need to happen sometimes. Shitty things. Shitty, romantic things.
And with that one sentence, You have officially broken my mind. I thank you good sir, and wish the best. Now off you'll excuse me, I feel a great need for a hot shower.
(Also quite ironic that I read this while sitting on the toilet...)
7695788 Best line in the story by far, amirite
Just... You know what I have no words. Just this. =><=
7694934
"dominant" is the word you want there.
7700575 You are correct. Thanks for the edit!