The Land of Song and Dance

by Aestroch

Chapter 5: Meet the Monster

I slept on the floor that night.

I would have had it no other way.

Of course, Fluttershy had insisted that I sleep on her bed, but I would have none of that. It had barely been large enough for me in the first place, even without Fluttershy in it with me and I was not going to be caught spooning with my charge. Next she had demanded that I sleep on the couch. Angel swiftly nipped that course of action in the bud when he claimed the couch for his own, despite the rather large house that Fluttershy had set up for him in her bedroom.

At least the carpet had been more comfortable than the castle’s flagstones. It may have helped that I hadn’t slept in my armour this time.

To put things into perspective, when I slept in my armour, I tended to curl up into the fetal position because sleeping in my armour means that I am in a potentially threatening place and must protect myself from interlopers. Under normal, peaceful circumstances, I slept on my back in my leather padding.

So when I awoke with four points of pressure on my abdomen, it would then be obvious that my first reaction was to curl up into the fetal position. It just so happened that in my pre-wakening state, I had grabbed whatever was on top of me and pulled it into a bear hug.

The result, of course, was me spooning with a Pony on the floor.

Luckily, this Pony was not my charge.

Unluckily, this Pony just so happened to be the blue Pegasus Pony from yesterday.

My ascent into wakefulness was expedited by flailing hooves, flapping wings, cursing, and a face full of multi-coloured hair. I struggled to recall the Pony’s name, as I was sure that Fluttershy and Twilight had mentioned it last night. I thought it was Applejack.

Then I got another face full of hair and realized that this was probably Rainbow Dash.

I decided to keep my grip on her. I also decided to be the first to extend the olive branch of peace.

“Good morning, Rainbow Sprint.” Wait, that’s not the right word.

Rainbow Dash stopped struggling. “How do you almost know my name?” She asked, almost whispering in fear.

“I, uh, have an approximate knowledge of many things. I guess. What were you doing standing on my stomach?”

Rainbow Dash started flailing again. “I was watching you, you monster!”

“Uh huh. Why?”

“Because I don’t trust you.”

“Alright then. At least you’re not attacking me on sight anymore.”

I got more hair on my face. “Fluttershy told me not to. She trusts you. So does Twilight and the Princess, but I know you.”

“Oh really? Do tell, because obviously being smacked by me constitutes full knowledge about me as a person.”

“You’re no person. You’re just a monster, a spy, sent here to help destroy Equestria. Starting with us Element Bearers. Fluttershy couldn’t resist taking you in, and now you’ll break us apart and dethrone the Princesses and enslave us all!”

“Yes, because one Warden is going to overthrow an empire for the people he disowned who are literally nonexistent here.”

“That’s the idea. Now let me go!”

“Why?”

“So that I can kick you and leave!”

What is with this place and unconditional honesty? “Mm no. I’m just going to lay here and cuddle you until you feel less like hitting me.”

“I’ll break out before that happens.”

“Mmhmm.”

ΨΨΨ

It had been an hour at least. Rainbow Dash had yet to cease struggling, though she had ceased swearing somewhere near the half hour mark, and I had yet to let her go. Fluttershy had yet to walk in on the scene. For that, I was marginally grateful, because who knows how she’d react to me snuggling someone else when I’d outright refused to sleep near her the night before.

I decided to get up and begin preparing for the day. To make sure that Rainbow Dash couldn’t get away, I kept her tucked underneath my left arm, forelegs pinned against her barrel, while I went about my business. I went to the stream and drank a bit of water, I set my armour in the sun to dry from my latest bath, and I found Fluttershy’s kitchen.

Rainbow Dash ceased struggling about then, but continued her defiance of me by thwarting my every attempt to grab something by jerking violently whenever I tried to grab something, causing me to either miss, or knock it over.

Finally, I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose with my free hand.

“Hey Rainbow Dash?”

“What?”

“Do you feel less like kicking me yet?”

“No.”

“Wonderful, because I was just about to walk into town. You see, I haven’t seen Fluttershy all morning, and since I’ve been around most of the cottage already, I assume that I’ll find her in town.”

“Hrrmph.”

“You wouldn’t know where I could find her at this time of day, would you?”

“…No.” Finally! A lie from one of these ponies! A glaringly obvious one, but a lie nonetheless.

“Ah, well. That’s too bad. I guess I’ll just have to wander town looking for her. I’m sure I won’t be too poorly received, after all I saved the town from a pack of Timberwolves yesterday, and I’m sure someone’s decided to make the announcement that I’ll be around for a while.”

“Fine.”

“And I’m sure to make a splash when I’m seen carrying you around. I can hear them now. ‘Oh, look at that handsome fellow, so kind helping that poor Pegasus Pony get somewhere without exerting herself to get there!’ Why, if rumors really started spreading, I’m sure that everyone will think that you’re part of Fluttershy’s herd now!”

“No! I don’t want to be lumped in with you! I can- wait, Fluttershy has a herd?”

“Not yet.”

“Huh. Are you part of her herd?”

“Technically.”

“Gross.”

“Twilight felt about the same.”

“Ugh.”

“Still feel like hitting me?”

“Yes.”

“To town, then.”

“Waitwaitwait hold on!”

“What?”

“Fluttershy’s at her spa day with Rarity!”

“…Okay. And?”

“She should be back home any minute!”

“Ah. Let me get my armour on, then.”

“Are you going to let me go?”

“No. I’m going to tie you up.”

And so I did. I got some rope from Fluttershy’s storage shed and tied Rainbow Dash’s wings and forelegs down.

Once I had my armour on, I tucked Rainbow Dash underneath my arm and untied her. She still seemed less than pleased with me.

Finally, Fluttershy trotted through the door.

“I’m home Alan! Did you and Rainbow get… along…?” Fluttershy took one look at the Pegasus Pony under my arm as she finished the sentence and let a frown fall across her face. “Rainbow, what did you do?”

Rainbow Dash began sputtering indignantly. “Wh- I- Fluttershy! What did I do? I didn’t do anything!”

“It’s true. Though, not for lack of trying, mind you.”

“Hey, this is completely your fault.”

“Probably.”

“Yes it is you big- Excuse me, what?”

“Why won’t I let you go?”

“Uh… Because you suck?”

“Mm. Do you still feel like kicking me?”

“Yes.”

“Rainbow Dash!” Fluttershy looked scandalized.

“That’s why. Now, when did you first get this craving to hit me?”

“When you started holding me hostage!”

“You were holding her hostage?”

“Basically. I was asleep, though, so you can hardly blame me.”

“Um, hold on. If you wouldn’t mind, Alan, can you tell me what happened?”

“Sure.”

“What?! What about me?”

“Well, you’re obviously biased and too angry to remember properly in the first place.”

“Why you little-“

“Anyway, so I was asleep on my back, when I feel Rainbow Dash, here,” I jostled my captive pony a bit. “Standing on my stomach. Now, I’m mostly asleep at this point, and my first reaction to being on my back with something standing on me is to curl up. It just so happened that Rainbow Dash was caught in the curl. So I basically ended up cuddling her like some form of unwilling teddy bear.”

“I see. Why haven’t you let her go, then?”

“Well, while I was holding her down, she said that she wanted to kick me. So I told her that I wasn’t going to let her go until she felt less like hitting me. And, as you’ve just heard, she still wants to kick me.”

“Well, why haven’t you asked her not to hit you?”

“I, uh… That’s a good question. Probably because she would say no.”

“Rainbow Dash?”

“What?”

“Can you please not hit Alan?”

“…Fine.”

That surprised me a bit, until I realized that Rainbow Dash was probably just being contrary.

“There, now can you please let Rainbow Dash go, Alan?”

“Sure.”

And so I did. True to her word, Rainbow Dash didn’t hit me once I’d let her go. Instead, she flew right up into my face and squinted into my eyes.

“I still don’t trust you.”

“Noted. Now off with you.”

“Why?”

“Because I need to discuss matters of the herd with Fluttershy. Shoo.” I waved her away with my hands and she floated out the door, muttering darkly.

I turned to Fluttershy, who was scuffing her hoof against the floorboards. She seemed more relaxed than yesterday, and her coat looked shinier. I wasn’t sure what this ‘spa’ thing was, but it seemed to have done Fluttershy some good.

“Now Fluttershy, am I correct in guessing that you don’t have a buck already?”

Fluttershy started and blushed. “W-well I-I s-suppose n-not. I-if I know what you’re asking, I mean.”

“Right, let’s go find one, then.”

“I- What?”

“You don’t have a buck yet, and you can’t have a herd without a buck. So let’s go find us a suitable buck for you.”

“Oh, w-well, shouldn’t I tell you what kind-?”

“No need, I know what I’m looking for: Big, strong, good teeth, calm temperament.”

“W-well, that does sound nice…”

“To town, then. Let’s find you the perfect mate!”

“Just, um, one thing?”

“Yes, Fluttershy?”

“Um, they’re called stallions.” Fluttershy hid behind her mane. “Buck has an, um… a different meaning to Ponies.”

“Right, right, I’ll try to remember that. You know where these bu- sorry, stallions, gather. Lead the way.”

“Oh, if you say so.”

ΨΨΨ

As a sign of my good faith in the Ponies, I decided to leave my helmet, pauldrons, and right shield at Fluttershy’s home, buried and hidden in the yard. I may have trusted the Ponies in town, but if one decided to skulk around the cottage, I doubted their ability to resist taking my armour.

Fluttershy led me to town and, just as I had suspected, Ponies halted their activities in favour of staring at me, eyes wide and mouths gaping. At least they hadn’t been panicking. My new charge had decided that in addition to scouting out the local bucks, she was also to give me a tour of the town. In fact, she seemed to be heavily favouring the tour over the bucks.

Finally, as we were approaching what appeared to be a house made out of sugary breads and frosting, I had to stop Fluttershy’s tour.

“Fluttershy.”

“Yes?”

“Where are the bu- right, sorry- stallions in the town?”

“Um, well, we’ve passed by a few of them…”

I stared down at Fluttershy, who wouldn’t meet my gaze. “You are aware that I have no idea how to tell the difference between males and females of your race, right?”

“I, um… Oh.” Fluttershy fidgeted nervously. “I, uh, guess that makes sense. I’m sorry.”

I sighed. “Don’t be, I probably should have brought it up earlier.”

“Um, no, I should have thought of that. Um… Should I, um, describe stallions for you?”

“Not in detail, I think. Just give me some basic pointers on how to tell them apart from females.”

“Oh, well, some of them are bigger and um… Have less flashy colouring… A lot of them have deeper voices… Oh, and they have longer and angular snouts.”

“Okay… So basically the best way to tell if a Pony is male or female is to look at their muzzle.”

“Um, I guess.”

“Right. So…” I looked around the street that we were currently standing. I looked at a few of the gawking Ponies. “There… Doesn’t seem to be any stallions here.”

“Well, no, I suppose not.”

“Why?”

“Um, Ponyville has a bit of a high gender ratio… The mayor said that there are about 10 mares to every stallion here last time she took a census.”

“That’s… Huh. And you said that herds are a dead practice?”

“Well, not every town is like this. And, um, a lot of mares find stallions from out of town and move out to be with them. Others are, um… Fillyfoolers.”

“What?”

“Please don’t be mad at them! It’s not wrong or anything, it’s just how some ponies are!”

“I- Okay? What’s a fillyfooler?”

“Oh. Um, it’s a mare that likes, well, other mares.”

“Ah. That’s… That’s not natural.”

“Don’t be mean! They’re perfectly normal Ponies!”

“No, I mean really, not natural. I don’t think I’ve ever heard of any animal that prefers its own gender.”

“Well, Ponies aren’t animals.”

“Fluttershy, everything is an animal. I’m an animal, you’re an animal. Well, no, I take that back. Not everything is an animal. Plants and rocks aren’t animals.”

“How can you say something like that?”

“Think about it. Animals eat food, excrete waste, breathe, and have beating hearts. Plants don’t have any organs to speak of, and rocks are, well, rocks.”

“I… I guess I can see where you could get that idea, if you look at it scientifically, but… Ponies don’t like being called animals. Animals eat each other and live in caves and trees and don’t care about others.”

“I think you’re making a distinction between animals and beasts.”

“No, I’m telling you the difference between animals and people!”

“Ah, people. ‘People’ is a funny word. I see what you’re trying to prove now.”

“I- Oh, good. I don’t like arguing, but… Ponies aren’t animals. I take care of animals; I know how the wild turns them savage. I don’t like to think that Ponies could be that way.”

“Uh huh. Well, now that we’ve successfully avoided a fight in the middle of town, would you mind showing me to the stallions?”

“Um, I guess.”

As Fluttershy continued showing me around town, I kept a lookout for stallions. I managed to spot a few, but they were all with a mare, or were a sub-par example of masculinity, or both. As for the locations around town, there was the sugar-coated building, Sugarcube Corner, the spa, a library in a tree, the Carousel Boutique and the city hall.

We had to stop at the city hall because the mayor of Ponyville had come out to meet us. Apparently, a large monster wandering through town without causing havoc was important enough for the city officials to take notice.

“Ah, hello Fluttershy, it’s a pleasure to see you again. I see you’ve brought a friend with you today.” The mayor’s voice was quite jovial and friendly, though it sounded a bit forced. Being near a new type of ‘monster’ was probably rather nerve-wracking.

“Oh, um, hello Mayor Mare. I was just, um, showing Alan around town.”

“I see. Twilight told me about a new creature that you had found. I hadn’t expected it to be so…” The mayor looked me up and down. “Well, big. Ah, where are my manners. Welcome to Ponyville Mister… Alan was it?” The mayor held out a hoof.

I stooped down and bumped my fist to Mayor Mare’s hoof. “Yes, Alan Dehis. A pleasure to meet you, Ms. Mayor.”

“I assure you, the pleasure is all mine. Now, Alan, Twilight has told me that you are going to be staying near Ponyville for some time?”

“Yes, I intend to live with Fluttershy and her herd.”

“Fluttershy has a herd?”

“Not yet.”

“…I see. I also talked with Applejack and her younger sister Applebloom. Both had accounts of your, well, violent nature.”

“I assume you mean that Applejack told you about how we first met.”

The mayor shifted a little bit. “Well, yes. I admit that it worries me that you would outright attack Ponies with no provocation. However, Applebloom told me that you also helped rid the town of those Timberwolves. I am a little bit confused as to why you would attack Ponies, and then help them.”

“Well, you see, Rainbow Dash had taken it upon herself to feed misconceptions of my character to her friends. So when she and the rest of them came to Fluttershy’s cottage to check on her, Rainbow Dash and Applejack decided that I was a threat and attacked me despite my attempts to have a peaceful conversation. As for the Timberwolves, I protect things. It’s what I do. When I found out that the wolves were ransacking Ponyville, I couldn’t help myself.”

“Well, that clears some things up. I have to ask, what did you do with the Timberwolves?”

“Well, after I killed them, I burned them out in a field.”

“You… You killed and burned them?”

“Yes I did.”

“Why?”

“They were a threat, so I ended them. I made sure to give them their proper dues as worthy opponents.”

“You- You killed them.”

“Yes. At least I didn’t eat them this time.”

“This time? Eat them?”

“Yeah, I ran into a pack of them in the forest yesterday, and I was hungry. I thought that they were actual wolves, but I was hallucinating that they were made of plants.”

“So you- Egh- Eat meat?”

“Preferably, yes.”

“That’s- I am seriously beginning to consider you a threat to my Ponies at this point, Mister Alan Dehis.”

“Well, Rainbow Dash, Applejack and Twilight are all still alive, aren’t they? Besides, you Ponies are intelligent enough to form a government. It’d be wrong to eat such an advanced species.”

“I see… And why, exactly, are those three still alive?”

“Because they’re Fluttershy’s friends, and it was a mostly honest mistake.”

“Hmm. Fluttershy, you know Alan Dehis better than any of us besides himself. What do you think?”

“Um, well…” Fluttershy scuffed her hoof on the ground. It must have been a nervous habit. “I think that he’s nice and, um, gentle. With Ponies I mean. And, um, he said that he’d look after me and my family for as long as he could.”

“So he’s volunteered to be your bodyguard then.”

“Warden. There’s a big difference.” I cut in. “I’ll tell you the technical details later, if you want.”

“I see. Well, while I still have my misgivings, I suppose I can let you continue to live near Ponyville. I’ll have to draw up some papers for you, proof of citizenship, peace treaty, herd registrations, all that. I do hope that you behave yourself, Alan Dehis.”

“Oh, I plan to. I’d rather not be at war with the only other intelligent species I’ve found so far.”

“Yes, that sounds like a sound policy. Good day Alan Dehis, Fluttershy.”

And then the Mayor turned around and trotted briskly into city hall.

“That went well. So what’s next on the tour, Fluttershy?”

“Um… The marketplace, I guess, if that’s okay with you.”

“Lead on.”

As Fluttershy led me through a few more streets, Ponies continued to stare at us as we passed, but they didn’t drop what they were doing. Apparently word spread fast through this town, and I was known as a curiosity, not a threat.

When we reached the marketplace, I was able to look out over a churning sea of colour and fur. The square was packed with ponies, and only a few bothered to watch me intently. The rest passed me by with interest, but kept themselves focused on the task at hand: Bartering.

Money and goods changed hooves, bargains were struck, and shopping lists were checked off.

I’d have to learn how the local currency worked.

Great.

That’s when I saw him.

A large, muscular stallion, easily big enough to reach my midriff and stout enough to pull a cart loaded with apples to his stand.

I waded through the crowd of Ponies, carefully shunting individuals aside with my shield. Fluttershy followed in my wake, apologizing profusely to everyone.

When I reached the apple vendor, I was greeted by a silent glare from the stallion. Before I could greet him, however, a small yellow ball of fur bounced up onto the stall counter and waved its hoof vigorously at me.

“Howdy Mr. Alan Dehis!”

“Ah, hello Applebloom. I hadn’t noticed you back there.”

“Ah know, Ah’m too short to work the stall proper. That’s why we have Big Macintosh, here!”

Big Macintosh, eh? “Really? Is that all that Big Macintosh does?”

“Well, naw. He does a lot of the apple buckin’ and fancy math stuff on the farm.”

“Apple bucking, huh? I don’t think I’ve heard that term before.” I giggled internally. Silly Ponies, apples don’t have bucks and does.

“It’s an Apple Family specialty! Ya buck a tree an’ all the ripe apples fall off an’ into baskets, ready for transport!”

“And Big Macintosh does a lot of the bucking, eh?”

“And the cart pullin’, and the heavy liftin’ and all sorts a’ stuff!”

I gave Big Macintosh an appraising look. He was still glaring at me, but it seemed to have softened to more of an untrusting watchfulness. He rolled is sprig of wheat in his mouth and shifted the harness on his shoulders. I could see the massive muscles rippling under his red fur.

“Hey Big Mac, have ya heard the rumours o’ that nasty- Applebloom, get away from that thing!”

An orange mare with light yellow hair and some kind of hat ran up and interposed herself between me and the apple stall. I recognized the voice as the one that was berating Applebloom yesterday, and the fur as the ‘Applejack’ that had helped Rainbow Dash attack me.

“Hello Applejack. Good to see you again. Me? Oh, I’m just dandy, thank you for asking; just a few bruises here and there.”

Applejack just growled at me. Fluttershy came up to my side and pressed herself against my leg.

“Oh, um, hello Applejack. You, um, you’ve met Alan, already.”

“Durn right Ah have. Nasty brute attacked Rainbow Dash an’ held ya hostage.”

“Um… No he didn’t.”

“Then how do y’all explain how he fought?”

“Self-defense?”

“Yeah right. He was tryin’ ta keep us away from ya.”

“Um, no he wasn’t. Rainbow Dash was just being impulsive.”

“If she was being impulsive, then why’d he attack her?”

I had to cut in at this point. “If you’ll remember, she attacked me first. You followed her lead.”

“Ah had ta protect ma friends!”

“You wouldn’t have had to protect your friends if you’d have let me talk before trying to kill me.”

“Kill ya? Listen here, buster, Ponies don’t kill. We were jus’ gonna beat ya up an’ chase ya back inta the Everfree where ya belong!”

“But, um, he’s not from the Everfree.”

“Doesn’t matter. He’s a monster, an’ monsters belong in the Everfree!”

“He’s not a monster! He’s just different!”

“Yeah! An’ he helped the town with the Timberwolves yesterday, ‘member?”

“Quiet Applebloom. Yer in enough trouble as it is fer talkin’ to this thing.”

“I have a name, you know.”

“Ah don’t care. Yer jus’ a monster that eats Ponies an’ Ah ain’t gonna be fooled.”

“I don’t eat Ponies. Just because I eat meat doesn’t mean that I’m some sort of barbarian that’ll just kill and eat anything with a heart.”

“Applejack, Griffons eat meat too, but they aren’t monsters, are they?”

“Yeah! An’ Winona can eat meat, but we still let her live with us!”

“That’s different. Winona’s not a monster, an’ the Griffons’re smart enough not ta try an’ attack Equestria. This thing went an’ attacked Rainbow Dash an’ held Fluttershy hostage!”

“But he didn’t hold me hostage! I just passed out because he was covered in blood.”

“Aha! See?”

“Applejack, it was Timberwolf blood. I’d swiped some off onto my hoof and… I hadn’t realized what it was yet. It was… Overwhelming. Alan was nice enough to put me on my couch before Rainbow attacked him.”

“An’ he fought back, so Rainbow Dash went to get us.”

“Actually, as I remember it, I just ducked and rolled around and slammed the door in her face. I didn’t hit her once. She came to get you guys after she realized that she couldn’t open the door with me leaning against it.”

“Are ya calling Rainbow Dash a liar?”

“No. There’s a difference between telling a lie and telling an untruth. You know when something’s a lie, but you don’t always know if something’s not true.”

Applejack started looking unsure, and her eyes started shifting around.

“But then… when ya attacked us…”

“You attacked me first, despite my attempts to talk peacefully.” I pinched the bridge of my nose. “And I kept you alive throughout the fight. You’re lucky that I had realized that you were Fluttershy’s friends already.”

Applejack scoffed. “Kept us alive. Yeah right.”

“Yeah. I killed a pack of Timberwolves, if you’ll remember, with no problem.”

“Ponies aren’t animals like Timberwolves.”

“No, but Timberwolves are hunters. I doubt that one Pony would survive being attacked by five Timberwolves at once.”

“Well, maybe not, but that just proves that yer dangerous and can’t be trusted!”

“Really? Because your ‘Princess Celestia’ seems to trust me enough to give me permission to watch over Fluttershy and her herd.”

“Celestia would never- Fluttershy has a herd?”

“Not yet.”

“Huh. Celestia would never trust a bloodthirsty monster!”

“Probably not. Which is why she trusts me. I’m neither blood thirsty, nor am I a monster. And, here’s an example a bit closer to home, Ponyville’s mayor trusts me enough that she’s drawing up citizenship papers and has given me permission to live nearby.”

“An’ Ah trust him!”

“Yes, and Applebloom trusts me, too.”

“That don’t- Gah, fine! You may have tricked all the others, but Ah’m watchin’ ya.”

“Noted. Now, as for the reason I’m here, I’d like to talk to Mister Big Macintosh, here.”

“Why? He’s the biggest piece of meat ya can find in Ponyville?”

I chuckled. “Something like that. You see, as Fluttershy’s Warden, I’m obligated to find her the perfect mate. And it just so happens that Big Macintosh, here, is the finest example of a stallion in town.”

Two faces went red, one face went redder, and one face turned to the side in confusion.

“Well, what do pieces o’ meat have to do with Fluttershy’s special somepony?”

“Uh- Uh- We’ll tell ya when yer older, Applebloom.”

“Eeyup. Way older.” Big Macintosh spoke for the first time since I had laid eyes on him. He had the slow, thoughtful drawl of someone who plans and considers before acting, and only said what was necessary.

Perfect.

“That’s nice an’ all, Mister, but ya can’t jus’ tell Mac and ‘Shy ta shack up. That’s rude an’ awful an’ Ah won’t stand fer it.”

“Oh, I’m well aware. That’s why I want to give Big Macintosh and Fluttershy some time together to get to know one another. After all, just because he’s got the pedigree of toughness and hard work, he might just be a complete asshole.”

Applebloom looked confused again. “What do donkeys an’ their holes have ta do with Fluttershy’s special somepony and dating?”

“We’ll tell ya when yer older, sugar cube. An’ Ah’ll have ya know that Big Mac is a perfect gentlecolt.”

“Well, how am I to know that?”

“Ah don’t know. Why don’t ya just set ‘em up on a date an’ ask ‘Shy afterwards?”

“An excellent idea. Where and when?”

“Well, ‘Shy likes that Bitallian place on the corner. Friday at seven.”

“Sounds like a plan. I look forward to hearing how it goes. Well, if that’s all, I suppose we should get a move on.”

“Good riddance.”

Applebloom waved her hoof at me from behind Applejack. “G’bye Mister Alan Dehis!”

I waved back at Applebloom. “Good bye, Applebloom, and please, call me Alan.”

As I sidled away through the market, I could hear Big Macintosh clear his throat.

“Applejack… Did you jus’ set me up on a date with Ms. Fluttershy?”

“Ah… Aw ponyfeathers, Ah did, didn’t Ah? Played right inta that monster’s claws…”

I chuckled as we drew away, and as we reached the end of the square, Fluttershy looked up at me.

“Did- Did you just set me up on a date with Big Macintosh?”

“I suppose I did.”

“Big Macintosh, the hunkiest stallion in town?”

“Probably.”

“I- I- Oh, this is going to end horribly!”

“No it’s not. Just be yourself and be nice and all that. I haven’t actually been on the relationship side of things in about two decades, so I don’t know if my advice is sound.”

“I- Be myself. Right. Remember Iron Will’s words. When on a date, don’t capitulate, facilitate!”

“That’s the spirit! I think. So what’s Bitallian food?”

“Oh, um, it’s pasta and pizza and lots of garlic. I, um, it’s a bit of a guilty pleasure of mine. Hoofa de Beppo’s garlic bread is just… fantastic.” Fluttershy let out a wistful sigh.

“Okay then. What day is today?”

“Oh, um, it’s Wednesday. Oh, I only have two days to prepare! Oh, I’ll need to make sure my fur is clean and my feathers are preened, and my mane, what am I going to do with my mane? What will I wear? Is it casual, or should I wear a gown, oh, I wouldn’t want to overdress…”

I let Fluttershy babble to herself while we took a long route out of town and back to her cottage. I wouldn’t be able to give her any meaningful advice; I didn’t know the customs of this place, after all.

Besides that, I had learned that Hasbria used the same weekdays as the Corukh. I figured that they probably also used the same 24 hours per day system of time-keeping.

One thing I had noticed was that on our way out of town, a lot of mares were glaring at Fluttershy and I. They were probably just jealous.

After all, as I recalled, Big Macintosh was the most eligible stallion in town, and Fluttershy had just snatched him up at the whim of some newcomer.

I wondered how many would ask to join the herd when they learned that Big Macintosh had agreed to become Fluttershy’s Alpha buck.

Comments

[Fugly Duckling]

lol