Gay Ponies, euphemisms and awkward conversations
Meanwhile, in the imaginary version of Equestria from a few months ago inside Princess Luna’s head, Applejack is angry. “Ah’m telling y’all. Ah. Did not. Seduce. Mah brother!” she roared at Luna.
“Applejack. I know you did. Now just let me prove it to you then we can go home,” Luna said reassuringly.
Applejack glared at her for a few seconds before conceding. “Alright then Luna, go ahead and try t’ prove me wrong,” her voice implied that she was defeated.
“Thank you. Now let’s get going.” Luna turned to perform a little bit more magic but was interrupted by Celestia.
“Hang on a minute,” Celestia said, waving hoof at her sister. “I'm really confused.”
“By what?!” Luna was fed up now and wanted to get a move on.
“So, we are in an imaginary world, which is in fact a real world, but is still inside your imagination. But this world isn’t real, it’s a memory… of time, which you recreated in your head, but you needed us to… access the right timelines, in order to make this world real, which it isn’t, and to show us what we need.”
“Precisely!”
Celestia stared blankly at her younger sister.
Luna sighed. “Oh Celery. You are just getting bogged down in the details and timey-wimey stuff. Think of it this way…” Luna pondered for a second a way of dumbing it down even further, “This... is… complicated…” Luna scratched her head, both because she was deep in thought and because her mane was itchy. “Okay, we are going to watch Big Mac and Applejack from a few months ago and there is nothing more to it. Is that any better?” she asked Celestia.
“Why couldn’t you have just said that in the beginning?”
“The details made it sound more interesting than just watching some Ponies.”
Celestia tilted her head back and forth in agreement. “Okay then, as you were.” She waved a hoof at Luna, who instantly began to do some magic.
“Okay Ponies! We are going to jump forward a day or two. We only came here as a starting point, the Ponies in question needed to be in easy places and close to each other and this worked. So no more dawdling, let’s get going.” Luna sparked up her horn and the world they were in fast forwarded 3 days in total, and were suddenly in Big Mac’s room, just as he woke up. “Oh yeah, we will be following Big Mac around mostly, since it explains a lot more. Now let’s watch,” Luna whispered eagerly as the past Big Mac started to stir from sleep.
– A –
Big Mac was waking up after a good night’s sleep, dreading another day of hard work. He shut his eyes again, hoping he could get some more sleep before he was actually needed, but this was unsuccessful thanks to a large crash coming from Apple Bloom’s room behind his head, accompanied with a small voice saying, “oops”. This noise shocked him awake and he grudgingly got up, he thought he should check on her. He fell out of bed with a thud and struggled to his hooves with a weary grunt. He yawned loud as he stretched his various limbs before walking out of his room. He walked the short distance to Apple Bloom’s room, swaying tiredly with every yawning step. He pushed her door open and saw the mess that was caused by a bookcase crushing a wicker laundry hamper, books and pink bows were flung all over the floor, but more importantly Apple Bloom was nowhere to be seen. Big Mac stood in the door way for a second, surveying the scene, trying to catch a glimpse of the small filly. He was suddenly worried for he thought she could have got trapped under the bookcase, so he swiftly went and lifted it up, his tired body not affecting his strength at all. But as the bookcase was shifted and there was no Apple Bloom, Big Mac became incredibly confused, there was nowhere else she could be hiding. Not even the underside of the bed hid her, and the window was also locked shut. He turned to walk out again, thinking that she must have just gone downstairs for breakfast, but a creaking from the rafters drew his attention. He looked up.
“What the B-!” he stopped before he swore in front of his sister, for she was stood on the rafters, wearing some old flight goggles that Rainbow Dash had left there once, with a set of what looked like homemade glider wings strapped to her back.
“Hey Big Mac! D’ya have a nice sleep?” Apple Bloom spoke with childish glee.
“Apple Bloom! What are ya doing?!”
What? Do you mean that?” She pointed her hoof at the mess on the floor, nearly losing her balance and falling off. “Yeah, sorry if Ah woke ya. But Ah had to climb up her to test mah wings!” she said proudly.
“Yer… wings?”
“Ye-huh! Ah made ‘em mahself! D’ya like ‘em?” she smiled hopefully.
“YOU made ‘em?” Big Mac doubted her, they seemed far to advanced for such a young filly, far too complex for even Twilight Sparkle, he thought.
“Yep! Open the window and Ah’ll show yer.”
“No,” he said sternly. “Ah don’t want ya hurtin’ yourself.”
“Ah won’t hurt mahself, Ah promise. Besides, Ah did all the calculations, mah trajectory from her t’ the window an’ outside will set me into a nice smooth glide.”
Big Mac looked around, on a little black board were some complex calculations involving wind resistance, gravity, acceleration due to free fall and other science-y things. Big Mac approved of the calculations as they looked far too complicated to be wrong. He shot her a thoughtful glance.
“C’mon Big Mac, please!” Apple Bloom put on the sad eyes which no one could resist and so Big Mac had to open the window for her. Apple Bloom beamed with excitement as she was about to test her invention. She lowered the goggles over her eyes and prepared to jump, raising her flank to get maximum drive. Big Mac took a step back and prepared to watch something amazing. Apple Bloom pushed her body forward and ju-
“Excuse me!” Applejack roared at Luna. “HOW is this relevant?”
“Hm?” Luna was so engrossed by watching Apple Bloom fly she barely noticed Applejack. But, grudgingly, she paused it as Apple Bloom made it out of the window. “What?”
“Apple Bloom flying. It’s not relevant at all!”
“But… it’s so cute!” Luna pleaded, she loved Apple Bloom, she found her to be one of the cutest little Ponies around. But with a glare from Applejack, Luna sighed. “Fine.” Luna lit her horn and fast forwarded a little bit.
rkle.” Big Mac started trotting out of the farm and towards Ponyville to visit a certain Unicor
“Sorry,” Luna apologised, “Too far.” Luna lit her horn and went back a few minutes. “That should do it.”
ac placed the brown thing around his neck and left the farmhouse, wondering out loud why in Equestria he wore that thing when it just weighed him down. He was interrupted by Apple Bloom landing next to him.
“That was so cool!” Apple Bloom beamed as she bound around Big Mac. He was about to speak to her but she was already running off shouting about going to show the other Crusaders. Big Mac chuckled warmly as he continued his walk to today’s apple orchard.
Applejack was already there waiting for Big Mac. “Hey sis, ya ready?”
Applejack didn’t reply.
“Err… AJ?” He walked up to her and gently nudged her shoulder, causing her to jump violently.
“Oh, it’s just you.”
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah, Ah’m fine. I'm just a bit…” she stopped mid-sentence.
“AJ?” Big Mac prodded her again, and again she jumped.
“Oh, sorry Big Mac.”
“Are you sure you’re okay?” Big Mac was concerned, Applejack was usually so much more eager to get started. “D’ya think ya should stay home? I can handle a day on mah own.”
“Nah, Ah’ll be fine.” She waved her hoof in a confident way, waving off any concern. “C’mon brother, let’s get to work!”
Big Mac trotted onto the orchards, talking to Applejack as he did, only to realise she was still standing in the same spot as before. Big Mac walked back over to her, the same curious expression staying with him as he approached. He was now right against her, looking her over to see if anything was wrong with her. He stopped and stared right into her eyes, which remained completely vacant, even when his face was perilously close to hers. He decided that she was in no state to work, so he work his way under her so she was over his back and he carried her into the farmhouse, where he dropped her off in the living room. She was completely lacking in any mental capabilities so she fell to the floor, the only movement was her blinking her eyes and her chest moving up and down as she breathed.
Big Mac watched her for a second, just to make sure she was actually breathing. He furrowed his brow, deep in thought. “Hmph. Ah think Ah better go see Twilight Sparkle.” Big Mac started trotting out of the farm and towards Ponyville to visit a certain Unicorn.
– A –
Big Mac walked into the Library and looked around for the purple Unicorn. He walked through to her study, where he saw her, lounged on a beanbag reading a book with her new reading glasses on, they were a simple square black frame glasses. Big Mac’s heart jumped as he saw her and a smile instantly sprang to his face, with a strange familiar feeling in his stomach.
“Hey Twilight.” He tried to wipe the smile off his face but couldn’t.
“Oh,” Twilight jumped and span round on the beanbag. “Hi Big Mac. I didn’t hear you come in.” She smiled politely, but then she remembered her glasses and quickly took them off, blushing afterwards as if she was ashamed off them. “What can I do for you?”
“Ah need some advice Twi.”
Twilight stood up and walked quickly over to Big Mac, her face becoming more serious. “What’s wrong?” her voice became very worried.
“It’s Applejack,” Big Mac sighed.
“Oh my Celestia. What’s wrong with Applejack?”
“I don’t know.”
“Huh?” Twilight lost the concern from her voice.
“She’s acting… weird.”
“How is she?”
“She seems… distracted.”
“That doesn’t sound too much of a problem.”
“Can you come and check on her? Ya know me, Ah couldn’t tell what’s wrong if the problem walked up to me and slap me round the face.”
“Okay, I’ll come and see her. Wouldn’t hurt just to have a look.”
“Thanks Twilight. Ah appreciate it.”
“No problem whatsoever. I mean, what kind of friend would I be if I didn’t help when asked?” Twilight bookmarked her page in the book and started to walk out the Library, Big Mac watched her walk away for a second, transfixed on her flank. But he quickly shook his attention back and followed her out of the library.
Back at Sweet Apple Acres, Applejack had managed to sit up, but still wore the same vacant expression.
“Hello?” Twilight called through the open front door. She walked inside cautiously with Big Mac following closely.
“She was in the living room, when Ah left her.”
Twilight nodded and walked into the living room. She saw Applejack sitting up in the centre of the room. “Hey Applejack, how are you?” she asked softly, gently placing her hoof onto Applejack’s.
Applejack jumped slightly as she felt Twilight’s hoof on her and made a very short, very quiet intake of breath.
Twilight smiled, she knew exactly what was up with her. She removed her hoof and delicately placed it instead on her cheek, all the while with the knowing smile on her face. Applejack made the same response as before, confirming Twilight’s theory. Twilight giggled and she stood up again, walking back to Big Mac. She stopped in front of him, her mind working furiously to think of how to do this subtly to the colt who wouldn’t know subtlety if it came up and shaved itself in his flank.
“What’s up Twi?”
“Err…” Twilight started blushing. “When was the last time Applejack… y’know?”
Big Mac stared at her, his silence spoke volumes.
“Ah…” Twilight still tried to go for subtlety. “You know… when she last…” Twilight winced with the effort of coming up with euphemism, “… had… sex,” she said with a sigh of defeat.
Big Mac was taken aback by this. “Well you don’t beat around the bush do you?” he said with slight disgust.
Twilight was lost in thought for a brief second, thinking how that might have worked, but she quickly came back. “Sorry but we would have been here forever if I didn’t try to beat the bush. But anyway, do you know?”
“Of course not!” Big Mac was slightly insulted. “We wouldn’t dream o’ talking about that sort o’ thing!” (Celestia laughed at the irony).
“Well I'm sorry for asking. But I was just wondering, because I know what’s wrong with her.”
“Really? You do?” Big Mac asked hopefully.
Twilight facehoofed. “How do you not know where I'm going with this?” Big Mac shook his head. “Eurgh. She has some… needs to be filled.” She quickly added after remembering Big Mac, “She needs a colt to…” Twilight couldn’t believe she had to be so blunt with somepony, “to have sex with her.”
Big Mac blushed, he hadn’t known awkwardness like this. “Ah… see…” he stared at Twilight for a second. “But what am Ah supposed to do about that?”
“I’ve seen plenty of colts around town. I'm sure many would be more than happy to oblige,” Twilight said with a sly smile.
“So what do Ah do?”
“Go ask some Ponies if they want to sleep with your sister!” she shouted angrily, but she faltered as she reached the end of the sentence.
“I think that’s enough of today. Big Mac did not much else that day. And I’d rather not see what Applejack does again.”Luna shuddered with the thought while Applejack chuckled at the memory. Luna lit her horn and everything fast forwarded a few more days.
– A –
alked into Ponyville, he thought he should probably follow Twilight’s advice and go find a colt for his sister. Applejack had managed to regain some concentration and had even managed to buck some apple trees, although it totalled about a quarter of what she could do in three hours spread over two days. Big Mac’s first stop, McHoofery’s Pub, the most popular drinking hole in all of Ponyville and some other nearby settlements, it may have only been midday but there were still a number of patrons inside.
Big Mac ventured in, he was met by the usual friendly cheer of Irish McHoofery, the landlord, Big Mac knew him quite well, partly due to him providing him with high quality cider but mostly due to Big Mac being a frequent visitor.
“Helloo Big Macintosh, I haven’t seen ye here in a while.”
“Hi Irish, it’s been too long.”
“Aye, it has hasn’t it? But anywhoo, what can I get fer ye?”
“Nothing right now Irish, I'm just lookin’ for somepony.”
“Ookay Mac, if ye change yer mind, you know where I am.”
“Thanks Irish.” Irish went back to serving the other thirsty Ponies at the bar.
Big Mac saw a potential colt, he didn’t just want to ask anypony, he wanted to make sure that the colt was the right choice. The colt in question was a particularly slender one, could have been mistaken for a mare at a glance, but it definitely was a colt. He was black in colour, completely black, from mane to hoof, even his eyes were black.
Big Mac awkwardly took the stool next to the colt. “Err… hi there,” his voice was very erratic, breaking as he spoke with the nerves.
“Oh hello sailor,” said the colt in a very camp voice.
Big Mac gave him a curious look before speaking again. “Err… what’s your name?”
“I'm Pink Dancer. And you’re Big Macintosh. I’ve seen you in here before, and you looked like you could have used some company.” Pink slid closer to Big Mac.
“Listen… Ah know this might be strange coming from a stranger and all.”
“Oh you’re no stranger to me Big,” he said with a chuckle.
“Err… right. But anyway, Ah was wonderin’… if you could do ma favour.”
“What did you have in mind?” Pink said suggestively.
“Well… err…” Big Mac uttered as he tried to think of a subtle way to put it.
Another colt, green in colour, walked beside Pink and sat down, throwing his mane back as he did. “Hey you. Who’s your new friend?” he said excitedly.
“Hi. You don’t know? This is Big Mac.”
“Oh I bet he is,” the green colt winked at the oblivious Big Mac.
“Um… hi.” Big Mac held out a hoof, the green colt shook it daintily.
“Hi Big Mac, I'm Cream Puff.”
“Big Mac was asking for a favour,” Pink informed Cream.
“OO was he now? I wonder what it could be...” Both Cream and Pink shared an immature and licentious giggle.
“Well… ya see… Ah was wondering… if y’all wanted t’…” Big Mac trailed off at the end of his sentence, all he could notice was the strange way in which the two colts were looking at him as Cream rubbed a hoof over Pink’s flank. Big Mac was transfixed, his mind doing back flips as he tried to process the situation. Eventually he managed to break his gaze and quickly turned it to his other side. “Err… are you two… err…” he said without looking.
“What?”
“Ya know…”
“Oh! You mean this?”
Big Mac turned round, and regretted it, he saw the two of them kissing passionately. It displeased him, it wasn’t that he didn’t like gay colts, but he didn’t like them doing it in his face.
“Err… Ah guess yes.”
“So, what was that favour you wanted?” Pink asked as he pulled away from Cream. “Maybe we could… help,” he said with a wink.
“Err… no, that’s okay.” Big Mac got up to leave.
“Are you sure? I'm sure we would love to help you out. Isn’t that right Cream?”
“Oh yes. I’d love to help.”
“Sorry fellas, but this problem calls fer a straight colt,” Big Mac started backing away slowly.
“Going converting I see. Well, maybe we can pretend for a night?” Pink shot a mischievous look at Cream who returned it at an equal strength.
“No thanks.” Big Mac could feel sweat starting to trickle down his forehead as he was growing more nervous. He turned and quickened his pace.
“If you ever change your mind, you know where to find us,” the two colts said together with an effeminate laugh.
Big Mac walked away quickly, trying to hide his awkwardness but failing miserably, pointed out by the fact by the two colts agreeing strongly with each other that Big Mac was “deep in the closet”, they went on to say how they would like Big Mac to be “deep in their closets” and decided to leave shortly after.
Big Mac walked around the side of the bar, where there were a number of tables and quite a few Ponies enjoying a drink. He continued his search for a suitable colt for his sister, just thinking about his task made him feel incredibly uneasy. He looked around the place, there were a few mares in one corner chatting amongst themselves, a few colts dotted around the place but none of whom Big Mac found acceptable. There was one colt, however, that caught his eye. He was dark brown, with a white mane hidden under a wide hat. Big Mac approached him, but stopped as another colt beat him to it and sat down enthusiastically beside the first, and kissed him on the lips briefly before the two colts smiled, they were a good looking couple, they seemed to genuinely care for each other, unlike Pink and Cream. Big Mac stood confused for a second, looking at these two colts, he wasn’t sure what to think. Big Mac turned around to look at the other colts, his confusion only grew as he saw each one paired up with one another, none of the others were kissing but they were holding hoofs, stroking each others faces, or even just looking at each other with longing eyes. As he looked further he also noticed that there were no pairings of mixed gender. “Have Ah been comin’ to a gay bar all this time?” he asked himself in a hushed voice, fortunately nopony overheard him. Big Mac started to back away again, he was heading back to the bar. He stopped at one end, making sure he was out of sight to Pink and Cream, and called Irish over.
“Hey, Irish.”
“Yes Big Mac?” he said in his friendly Irish accent.
“Has this… always been… a gay bar?”
“What? No! No. Whatever be giving ye that idea?”
“It’s just that… are there any straight Ponies in this ‘ere place?”
Irish looked around, a strange revelation hitting him. “I don’t think so chap. I’ve never noticed before but there are a lot of colt-cuddlers in here.” Irish looked off as he recollected his thoughts. “I tell ye what. I'm not ever sure if I’ve ever had a straight colt come in here. Is this a hotspot for gay Ponies then?” he asked himself, trying to think of ways to use this to his advantage.
Big Mac sighed happily, the knowledge that his favourite pub not being a gay bar was incredibly relieving. “See ya Irish,” Big Mac said in a defeated voice, he wasn’t quite sure where else to find somepony for his sister, he was certain that McHoofery’s would have been the place.
“Bye Big Mac. Hope t’ sees ye again soon!” Irish shouted after him excitedly.
Big Mac waved and left. His next stop would be the market, he guessed. Although he wasn’t sure at all who would be there.
– A –
“So Big Macintosh was trying to find somepony fer me?” Applejack said with great admiration for her brother. “Ah never would have thought he would even consider helping me out in that way.”
“You’d better believe it!” Luna said. “He talked to everypony to see if they would or not. He was getting quite worried towards the end.”
“Really?” Applejack spoke in an airy voice.
“It’s a real shame he didn’t succeed.” Luna sighed. “But anyway, let’s fast forward to this evening.” Luna lit her horn and accelerated a few hours.
– A –
Big Mac walked into the Library, he felt incredibly down beat, he had been walking around for hours and still he hadn’t found anypony for his sister. He really wanted to see a friendly face.
“Twilight?” he called through the Library, his voice very tired and upset.
Twilight appeared from her study, her face red for some reason. “Hey Big Mac. Any luck?”
Big Mac sighed and shook his head.
“Really? What a shame.”
“Ah really tried as well.” Big Mac walked further into the Library and fell onto a beanbag chair. “Ah went everywhere. McHoofery’s, Sugar Cube Corner, the Market, everywhere! And still Ah find nopony!”
“Really? Not a single colt?”
“Well… no, Ah found lots. Let’s see…” Big Mac thought hard about who he spoke to. “There was… Pink Dancer and Cream Puff. Jovial Hooves. Meadow Frolic. Whimsical. Fudge Packer. Flank Bandit. And even Blatant Homosexual, of all Ponies I wouldn’t have expected him!”
“Expected him as what?”
“Gay. They are all gay!”
“Really? Blatant is gay?” Twilight was very surprised
“Eee-yup. He even came ont’ me.”
“Wow. He always seemed so… confident… at… things…” Twilight blushed.
“Is there a single straight colt in Ponyville besides me?” Big Mac became annoyed.
Twilight was lost in thought for a second, a sudden realisation struck her. “You know… I don’t think there is. This would explain the high ratio of mares to colts in Ponyville…”
“It’s annoying isn’t it?”
“It shouldn’t be for you. You get the pick of the mares!”
Finally, some subtlety that Big Mac understood, his mood instantly improved. “That’s a good way o’ lookin’ at it.”
Twilight giggled, and stepped closer to Big Mac. “I don’t suppose there’s any mare… in here… that takes your fancy?” Twilight cocked an eyebrow, she was now beside Big Mac, her face right against his.
“Err…” was all Big Mac could say as he saw the beautiful purple eyes suggesting something desirable. Twilight rolled him over onto his back and sat over him. She slowly slid down his body and started to caress his p-
“Okay. This is just getting weird!” Luna quickly paused the scene. “Would anypony mind if I skip the sex scene?” Luna asked, although she was going to ignore any answers and do it anyway. She looked at the other Ponies standing behind her, they were sharing awkward glances indicating that they would mind. Luna expected this of the two Earth Ponies, but her sister as well?!
“Seriously Celery? SERIOUSLY?!”
Celestia smiled as she tried to hide a laugh.
Luna sighed an angry sigh. “I can’t believe you lot,” she scoffed as she lit her horn and skipped to the next morning.
– A –
t was the next morning in the Library. Big Mac woke up on the bean bag chair with Twilight lying next to him with a hoof on his chest. He smiled and shifted into a more comfortable position.
Twilight stirred a little and woke up. “Hey Big Mac,” she said with added emphasis on the word big, making Big Mac smile even greater. (Whereas the observing Big Mac winced as he remembered his own sister doing something similar with his name.)
“Mornin’ Twilight,” Big Mac said with added emphasis on the word Twi, making Twilight giggle at him.
“Did ya enjoy last night?” Twilight said happily as she nestled herself closer to Big Mac. “ ‘cos I sure did!”
“Ah sure did. Ah needed that.” He pulled Twilight closer to him. “What time is it?”
“About half six. Why?”
“Damn it. Ah need t’ go an’ get buckin’ some apple trees,” he said wearily as he tried to stand up, but Twilight kept him down.
“Do you really need to go now?”
“Ah do, Applejack will kill me if Ah’m late.”
“A few more minutes couldn’t hurt, could it?”
Big Mac saw her scruffy yet appealing mane and the look in her eyes. “Ah don’t see why not.”
Luna and the other observing Ponies watched, remarking at how strange it looked when Luna sped up the next few minutes to end in 10 seconds flat. It wasn’t very pretty, to say the least.
“Ah’ll se ya later Twilight!” Big Mac shouted over his shoulder as he left the Library.
“See… you… later…” Twilight said through gasps of air as she lay on the bean bag trying to recover. Big Mac picked up the pace as he headed back to Sweet Apple Acres.
To his surprise, Applejack was already up, bucking the apple trees. She had regained a significant amount of motivation somehow.
“HEY! Applejack!” Big Mac shouted as he galloped the last bit up to the orchards and stopped beside Applejack. “Ah see you’ve got yer groove back.”
“Ah sure have!” Applejack said happily. She walked over to Big Mac and gave him a sisterly kiss on the cheek. “Did ya have fun out last night?” she said in a knowing fashion.
It took a short while for him to reply, Applejack’s kiss was perfectly innocent but it was so very uncharacteristic of her and he became incredibly confused. “Err… yeah, Ah had a good night. Ah saw Twilight.”
“Oh Ah bet ya did,” she said with a wink.
Big Mac was surprised to see Applejack talking like that, usually they avoided this topic of conversation with a passion.
“So what did ya do with Twilight last night? Or should Ah ask, what did you do to her?”
If Big Mac had been drinking a drink at that moment he would have spat it out. “What?!”
“Alright then, if ya don’t wanna talk about it Ah ain’t gonna force ya. Ah bet yer had enough of forcing for a while haven’t ya?” Applejack said with a suggestive smile.
Big Mac froze, he was sure this was some kind of euphemism but his mind didn’t seem to get it, which he was incredibly grateful for. “Err… should we get some buckin’ done then?” he said trying to get the conversation off that topic.
“Ah thought yer’d never ask!” she said as walked up next to him, brushing her flank against his before moving passed and into the orchard.
Big Mac froze again, his mind doing back flips as he tried to process the situation. That was weird, he thought.
The two Ponies went off to buck some apple trees.
Stats
Page generated in 0.037 seconds
Total duration
1,009 users online
2,138,942 hits today, 2,156,967 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
y'know, I'm just going to apolgise now. I'm sorry
I'm only trying to be funny, but if enough people hate this then I shall remove it... somehow...
209307
like in my comment above, I apologise if I offended you. I never thought of that kind of stuff when writing it and my proof reader also didnt think of that.
And yeah, I agree with the memory thing, it was a bit weak...
209307 I'm gonna have to buy skyrim to understand Fus Ro da! aren't I
209348
I'm glad there's at least one person likes this!
But I have no longer how long this will take, it took me a month to write those two chapters and I'm doing other stuff at the same time so... yeah...
209290
The issue isn't even the incest. If it were that, I'd just pass the fic by and leave well enough alone.
The problem is that in this fic, you have characterized Applejack, the Element of Honesty, as:
#1. An incestuous, seductress whore.
#2. A liar. The Element of Honesty, a liar.
#3. A terrorizer of foals and/or a child molester, I can't tell which.
So you see, the real reason why I hate your work with an unholy passion is that you are demonizing my favorite pony in the worst imaginable ways, and by doing so are directly contradicting canon.
Feel bad.
Feel very bad.
209379
I see where you're coming from and I again apologise. And well done, now I feel bad.
I agree somewhat with 209379 though in a slightly less... "Harsh" manner. As an American from the mid-west who has visited the south and such, I can say right now that incest really isn't that offensive: most people nowadays don't really care all that much, and some people specifically like it. There's actually nothing particularly "offensive" in the story as far as the meaning of the word goes, it's just... not right. The characterization really is off, you may as well have used OC ponies. I won't say much about the grammar, though there certainly is a lot to say, but that's just not the most glaring issue in this fic. The canon doesn't seem to apply here and the progression is a little on the weak side, but that could be chocked up to the fact that it took so long to write. I don't think you should "Feel bad" about writing it, practice is practice and everything helps to improve your writing, but it definitely needs to be touched up quite a bit before fans of the show will really hold it to the kinds of standards of quality that they want to see in their favorite characters, even if they're in awkward and non-canon-like situations.
209418
Thanks for making clearer the problems with this. I might remove this and sort of start over and repost it later, but still somehow keep the general idea. But I will wait and let other opinions come through before I do that!
Bosh to all those negative opinions.
It might not be highbrow literature, but there's nothing wrong with a joke now and again.
I find it amusing.
I'd like to ... see where this goes.
209557
Thanks. And dont worry, I'm working on some much better quality stuff at the moment as well anyway!
Darn, yeh, just don't do the rewrite until I get the chance to read it first. It's hilarious and I'm having kinky fun reading it, so keep up the good work. I love Luna best. you're even making me like poor dumb Big Mac. When's the next chapter? when, when, when? Oh, and stop smoking it's bad for ponies especially after Twi get you pregnant with the horn magic thing she does!
I couldn't care how the characters act or what the subject matter is, I just want to fucking read.
People stop whining and just read the damn story.
209639
I've read it, and Applejack is so far out of character, it's not even funny. I get that she's in heat, but come on - she's not gonna try and get down and dirty with her own brother.
All I can say?
Twilight wouldn't do that, Luna is pretty good in character as far as Fics go, AppleJack isn't fitting it, and I sense a Molestia breakthrough.
dude this series is tooo cool and funny take my stars
Hey, first off- Yes I find it very humorous, interesting, and you should see through it till the end... and don't apologize if people find your work offensive, ever.
That said,
-Yes characters acting out of context. I was initially thinking you were going to keep Mac mostly silent, like in the show, which would of made his internal torment a lot more humorous. That said, despite the fact none of the characters follow their character bibles, the humor works... You just may in the future want to work harder at sticking to their characteristics more, challenge yourself.
-A good chunk of the first chapter is setting up explaining Luna's magic, ectera... This is something I feel you didn't really need, all it does really is pad out the story more and keeps us from getting to the plot- Reviewing the past days events to the point where the incest occurs.
-Not one to speak about grammar, but I did notice several starting paragraphs missing a letter at the beginning of a word.
But I did get a good laugh out of the first two chapters. Good job.
OK this is actually funny and keeps getting better. You were right about the "implied" sentences in there, and my mind is usually in the gutter so this stuff was weird
BTW if you need a proofreader then i can do it cause you seem to have a lot of misspellings and missing words in here
209287
Also dude, constructive criticism. Comment like your first post is just trolling.
Blatant Homosexual is gay?!!
I never saw that one coming... 
Please, please, please do finish this, its quite funny most of the time, and I don't give a S*%t about caracterization, still try to improve grammar, it makes me double-check the lines sometimes just to see if I get it right
209831
what he said
Ahhh wheres chapter 3!
This is just soooo bad, it became instantly good. Trolluna is just... Well, it's fun.
I don't really care for the completely oocness in here, sometimes it's just good to shut off your mind.
That said, I feel I shouldn't go encouraging trollfic xD but there's something in the writn that makes me overlook that, like it's so over the top that I just can't take it seriously.
the grammar errors make sense to me, like it's Luna willfully fast-forwarding and not caring to get silly grammar right.
Hm. This is an interesting fic. I like how you gave the character of Applejack a jacked-up(cheesy pun, I'm sorry XD) twist. Even if she might be somepony's favourite, it's still nice to explore those what-if plots. I mean, seducing Big Mac? I'm not a fan of incest, but that was a weirdly awesome turn. The regular+sensory detail and elaboration of sentences and scenes was good also. It gave me a clear mental image of what was going on. Now, onto the cons. The only real flaws I saw in this was technical, grammatical stuff. You missed a quotation every now and then, and I spotted many times where you missed a comma. Try indenting your paragraphs too. I was scared off a bit at first because of the dragging ones you have already. Many times I saw you miss the first letter of a word at the beginning of your "paragraphs". It's not too much, just stuff a little more time spent on editing and grammar checking. I'm intrigued with the fic, though. I can't really say anything more than it's and interesting plot(in a good way). Nonetheless I liked it.
(I'm trying to be constructive, btw. Helping you improve your writing. And, darling, there's no need for you to feel bad about writing this. Everyone's writing is special and important, and yours is no exception.
)
210430
Thanks. I never meant this to be serious so I''m glad you didnt take it to be
Also, that whole missing bits out at the start of paragraphs was the over shooting done by Luna when fast forwarding, y'know, accidentally mistimes pressing play!
210451
Can't wait to hear(or, read rather) more from this fic!
OOOOOOOOOH... that makes more sense XD I didn't realize that at first. Thanks for clearin' it up, hon.
Alright this story is funny and I did have a laugh or two or three or four while reading it, but I actually am from the south and my cousins from the "deep south" part of Texas strongly dislike incest, I myself don't like it, but when it comes to things like comedy and non-srs stories it is funny, but anyway, incest is no good, atleast in the words of Sonic the Hedgehog, but all in all, your grammar and the way you word your words is much better than mine, I have a large vocabulary but I can't arrange my words to sound intelligent enough even if it were to save myself from molestia
ANYWAY
I KEEP THROWING COOKIES AT THE SCREEN BUT NONE ARE GETTING TO YOU.
Then here, have an internet cookie *smashes cookie into the screen that magically turns into 5 stars, and a new follower, plus tracking*
...Assassin's Creed reference and all will be forgiven. Do it.
211365
I can try, although im not quite sure how this far into the story.
210970
Somehow, I never made the link between Applejack's southern accent and Southern America, so it never dawned on me that point about incest like that...
I laughed for 5 minutes straight at the names of the colts. Blatant Homosexual? Best. Name. Ever.
This story is hilarious: Ignore haters, write moar.
212953
Dont woory! i will! once i think of what else to right...
212257
Eh not to worry, as long as the stuff is funny and stuff then it's all good.
Plus I think everyone should have a good laugh or two once in a while, but in my case I am like a Texan Pinkie Pie
I have no clue how that works but it just does
Don't worry about these hyper sensitive people, they can get over it.
Otherwise, funny! Ready for ch 3! :P
Heart and Hooves day came out the same day as this, you have no excuse.
216230
I have no idea what you're on about...
(also, if you dont like it, you dont have to read this. its not compulsory)
216440 I just thought it was quite funny how Cherliee had a three shape Cuite mark. You will get what I mean if you watched the latest episode.
216605
Ah yes, i see what you mean now!
209639 Agreed.
209809 Fair enough.
Oh hello!
Umm... am i the only one still waiting for chapter 3?
228824
I dont think so... but yeah sorry for the wait, im trying to enter that writing comp so that's been taking up my writing time. hopefully i will get that done and return to writing my other stuff promptly!
I Hope!
Keep Up the good work!
209305 DONT YOU DARE TAKE THIS DOWN!!!
This is the funniest thing I'v read all week.
263543
Dont worry i wont take it down, and not just becuase i dont know how! But just to let you and eveybody else know, there is going to be a while before i add anything, my mind is finding it hard to concentrate on any single idea so i am currently writing 6 other things and have ideas for a few others, just to try and keep it going, so yeah... enjoy and go PONY!
209305 Noooooo. Keep this story up man I like it, it's funny and it also has bigmacxtwilight
This just panders to the Hollywood elite, nothing but gay cowponies eating pudding. It was also pretty funny.