Gee, let me guess. The CMC try to help out Fluttershy with the animals, and they end up getting raped by them. This is going to get dark. Oh, and I bet Fluttershy's going to be "servicing" a bunch of ponies at once, probably against her will or some crap. Or maybe she falls in love with one of her animals. She also seems to hate her clit. If your letting the rabbit fuck you, you might as well enjoy it, Sluttershy. This is dumb.
lol actually the CMC aren't going to get anything sexual, nor is there going to be any genuine rape, or falling in love with animals for that matter.
But more importantly, if you don't like it, which you obviously don't, why'd you read it? And what strikes me even more as odd...is why comment? If you don't like the story, and have nothing decent to contribute, shut your mouth.
215041 I read the story for the same reason you read my comment. Don't like it, don't read it. And how was I suppose to know I hate something if I didn't read it? I usually read these kinds of things for a laugh, then maybe suggest someone to MST it. Although, I'm glad you clarified that nothing sexual is going to happened to the CMC. There was one fanfic that I was challenged to read. It involved Scootaloo... and a chicken. I thought it was going to be retardedly stupid, but it went *dark*. There being no genuine rape is also a plus. You'd be surprised on how many rape fics there are, and I would hate for a admittedly decent writer (you captured the characters very well, and have a very good flow with the story where you explain stuff, but you don't over explain where the reader is trapped) go down a *really* dark path. I mean, you're already halfway there, but your comment alleviated some of my fears. Although Fluttershy is still a slut. But she's also still adorable. I don't know how you did that, but kudos to you.
Well the story has a short description, lets you know what's in the story before you read so you can judge whether or not you'd want to read it or not. Your comment didn't, I read it not knowing what to expect. As for Fluttershy being a slut I'd have to disagree, a slut is someone who struts their stuff around like there's not tomorrow, practically begging to get attention and in turn getting themselves laid. Here Fluttershy is doing nothing like that, actually Camilo up there described it pretty well. "She thinks she's just helping the rabbit and he's taking advantage of her kindness." but anyway, thank for the small CC there, I appreciate it.
I like this, it's adoreable in its own strange way. Will be interesting to see what happens further. Your way of writing is very nice, I just came in here from reading your other current story. Pretty good quality of writing and characterization so far! Watched and tracked
215144 Many thanks friend. I just call it how I see it. That just seems to be the case. If you've noticed how Fluttershy goes above and beyond to be kind to anything with a pulse, you'll realize that somepony or something is eventually going to take advantage of that kindness. Angel Bunny being the most obvious culprit in my opinion.
Ah yes on a more writer to writer note. My only actual critique is near the beginning of the chapter. You have the word curtains twice when you only need it once. Here's the line. I'll highlight the offending word in red for you. Fluttershy lay soundly in her bed, the faintest glow of morning sunlight peering through her curtains green curtains that had draped her window. I believe you meant to use a descriptive word like Forest green or Spring green so I can't blame you. My mind tends to get a couple of words ahead so I have to re-read the story before posting it. Besides that I see no problem as I can't really call out spelling mistakes, being dyslexic and all.
static.aumojekoule.eu:443/images/articles/original/10-1328987355.jpg
212462
Whoops sorry I updated because of a few spelling fixes and forgot to republish it
209317
Oh you I already knew that
Gee, let me guess. The CMC try to help out Fluttershy with the animals, and they end up getting raped by them. This is going to get dark. Oh, and I bet Fluttershy's going to be "servicing" a bunch of ponies at once, probably against her will or some crap. Or maybe she falls in love with one of her animals. She also seems to hate her clit. If your letting the rabbit fuck you, you might as well enjoy it, Sluttershy. This is dumb.
212957
lol actually the CMC aren't going to get anything sexual, nor is there going to be any genuine rape, or falling in love with animals for that matter.
But more importantly, if you don't like it, which you obviously don't, why'd you read it? And what strikes me even more as odd...is why comment? If you don't like the story, and have nothing decent to contribute, shut your mouth.
215041 I read the story for the same reason you read my comment. Don't like it, don't read it. And how was I suppose to know I hate something if I didn't read it? I usually read these kinds of things for a laugh, then maybe suggest someone to MST it. Although, I'm glad you clarified that nothing sexual is going to happened to the CMC. There was one fanfic that I was challenged to read. It involved Scootaloo... and a chicken. I thought it was going to be retardedly stupid, but it went *dark*. There being no genuine rape is also a plus. You'd be surprised on how many rape fics there are, and I would hate for a admittedly decent writer (you captured the characters very well, and have a very good flow with the story where you explain stuff, but you don't over explain where the reader is trapped) go down a *really* dark path. I mean, you're already halfway there, but your comment alleviated some of my fears. Although Fluttershy is still a slut. But she's also still adorable. I don't know how you did that, but kudos to you.
215096
Well the story has a short description, lets you know what's in the story before you read so you can judge whether or not you'd want to read it or not. Your comment didn't, I read it not knowing what to expect. As for Fluttershy being a slut I'd have to disagree, a slut is someone who struts their stuff around like there's not tomorrow, practically begging to get attention and in turn getting themselves laid. Here Fluttershy is doing nothing like that, actually Camilo up there described it pretty well. "She thinks she's just helping the rabbit and he's taking advantage of her kindness." but anyway, thank for the small CC there, I appreciate it.
I like this, it's adoreable in its own strange way. Will be interesting to see what happens further.
Your way of writing is very nice, I just came in here from reading your other current story. Pretty good quality of writing and characterization so far!
Watched and tracked
215144
Many thanks friend. I just call it how I see it. That just seems to be the case. If you've noticed how Fluttershy goes above and beyond to be kind to anything with a pulse, you'll realize that somepony or something is eventually going to take advantage of that kindness. Angel Bunny being the most obvious culprit in my opinion.
Ah yes on a more writer to writer note. My only actual critique is near the beginning of the chapter. You have the word curtains twice when you only need it once. Here's the line. I'll highlight the offending word in red for you. Fluttershy lay soundly in her bed, the faintest glow of morning sunlight peering through her curtains green curtains that had draped her window. I believe you meant to use a descriptive word like Forest green or Spring green so I can't blame you. My mind tends to get a couple of words ahead so I have to re-read the story before posting it. Besides that I see no problem as I can't really call out spelling mistakes, being dyslexic and all.
NaturalGlitch
Yo bitchalatomas ever heard the term "if you don't got something nice to say, shut the fuck up"
So take heed of shut the fuck up
this is very very cute PonyXpress you are mister pimp
I dont care what other people say about your story ^ i loved it. I cant wait for the next chapter ^_^
Fluttershy should keep him more in check As well let him/it make up to her with the fun button