Good Start, Kratos is a bit tamer than i expected but still excellent read. Plus loved the centaur reference, that was class. And the bit at the end. Keep it up
2676493 Well, y'gotta think. He knows he cannot beat Celestia if he tried again, and he's sick, so it's even lower of a chance. And, following these 'rules' is the only thing that will return him to Olympus, supposedly. So he's trying not to break them... too much.
So I am reading this in a hospital waiting room and when he (Kratos) got to the orchard and sh*t went down, I was all like and all the other people were like .
Why were these necessary? What did they add to the story? If those are, as I assume, your own personal thoughts on events, that's great, but either keep them to yourself, or use the author's notes. Now, I don't know much about what's encouraged or frowned upon in writing fiction, so I did some research and the general consensus on having a personal, omniscient 3rd person narrator is that it's a bad idea. I think a used named Vertigo on writingforums.com put it best when he said,
Personally, I would say this is a bad idea at least as far as paradigms go. Your different characters are all entitled to their own views on the way the world works; you the author are really not. Your job in writing the story down is to explain the story and the world and the people to the reader- not to judge them or comment what you think of what your characters (or your readers) think.
One would think that with broken spine bones, he would be paralyzed. But miraculously, he wasn’t.
If I remember correctly, does not Kratos have some of Chronus' blood in him? If he does, that could explain why the more lethal injuries are not killing his mortal form. Like, I don't know, a broken spine, perhaps?
What was the change to the blades? You never specified.
Also, you seem to be having some trouble in giving the image you see to us readers. I can tell you have the full image in your mind, but translating it to te page seems to have made it lose most of its luster...
Good Start, Kratos is a bit tamer than i expected but still excellent read. Plus loved the centaur reference, that was class. And the bit at the end. Keep it up
2676493 Well, y'gotta think. He knows he cannot beat Celestia if he tried again, and he's sick, so it's even lower of a chance. And, following these 'rules' is the only thing that will return him to Olympus, supposedly. So he's trying not to break them... too much.
Nice read, I guess he is more tame but with good reason.
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WHAT?!
2679615exactly what I thought.
But very funny
So I am reading this in a hospital waiting room and when he (Kratos) got to the orchard and sh*t went down, I was all like and all the other people were like .
Please, tell me something.
Why were these necessary? What did they add to the story? If those are, as I assume, your own personal thoughts on events, that's great, but either keep them to yourself, or use the author's notes. Now, I don't know much about what's encouraged or frowned upon in writing fiction, so I did some research and the general consensus on having a personal, omniscient 3rd person narrator is that it's a bad idea. I think a used named Vertigo on writingforums.com put it best when he said,
If I remember correctly, does not Kratos have some of Chronus' blood in him? If he does, that could explain why the more lethal injuries are not killing his mortal form. Like, I don't know, a broken spine, perhaps?
The image isn't appearing for me. Other than that, brilliant.
"Bazinga!"
wait... when did sheldon cooper get here?
What was the change to the blades? You never specified.
Also, you seem to be having some trouble in giving the image you see to us readers. I can tell you have the full image in your mind, but translating it to te page seems to have made it lose most of its luster...