I'm just some guy from Texas who likes My Little Pony.
Vegard, a high-ranking guards pony, gets a promotion, sorta. He quickly finds himself in a world of fast paced confusion and mystery after Celestia reassigns him to the very secretive ESP. The Equestrian Secret Police.
(This will be episodic writing, and I will only write when my other writing feels slow, do not expect frequent updates. Also, unlike my other works, this will more than likely remain unedited.)
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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I like the original idea behind the story as usual, albeit the issues I can see.
1st. Quite a few grammar problems, and I was never an expert in grammar.
2nd. Some awkward phrasings
3rd. Is the ESP more or less undercover operations group, or an intelligence and reconnaissance organization?
4th. If it is either, are there no non standard training exercises? Maybe, it is simply the movie era still holding it's over worked hand on the public's mind. But, wouldn't the most secretive group in Equestria want other means of handling situations, in other words more training?
"Unless a reviewer has the courage to give you unqualified praise, I say ignore the bastard."
- John Steinbeck
(If you wish)
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1. The grammar is worse than more normal due to me not running through my standard five different editors.
2. On the phrasing, your probably right, but I usually read over each of my five editors shoulders and correct that too.
3. Yeah pretty much why?
4. I tried to make it sound like there is usually a lot more, but because of his experience in the guard, combined with his natural talent and rushed first case he got to skip a considerable deal. Was that not clear? My bad.
I will never ignore comments. Well unless they are really stupid, or I get insanely popular. And knowing this community the way I do, neither are likely to happen.