I have a shipfic written that is currently two chapters long. I plan on extending it, but before I do, I'd like some criticism on what I have so far. It's between my OC Deep and Luna. The link is here. If you could tell me every nitpick thing I need to improve, no matter how much of an asshole you feel like pointing it out, it would be greatly appreciated. Also, I am willing to trade critiques, provided your story isn't too long.