Various people have made threads for cardifying stuff from the show, but what about sharing made-up cards unrelated to or only tenuously inspired by FiM? I think people should post that here. I'll start with something from my farming and gardening experience this summer:

Clinging Clivers 1GGG
Creature – Plant
Defender
Whenever Clinging Clivers blocks, you and the attacking player each put a token onto the battlefield that's a copy of Clinging Clivers.
Whenever a creature you control attacks, Clinging Clivers deals 1 damage to itself and to that creature unless you pay {2/G}.
At the beginning of your end step, each player puts a token onto the battlefield that's a copy of Clinging Clivers for each creature you control that attacked him or her.
1/3

Pretty sure the templating here needs revision. The idea is that whenever you attack someone, or when an opponent's creature attacks you, the spiny barbed weeds all painfully hook into the attacking creature's flesh, propagating the plants wherever the attacker goes.

Feel free to post your own!

This was a card I made as a submission to a contest held by Geeksmtg to name their van:

Gasatog {6}
Artifact Creature - Atog Construct
Discard six nonland cards: Gasatog gets +6/+6 until end of turn. This turn when Gasatog attacks or blocks, you may draw cards equal to its power.
Sixty miiles per hour.
Sixty gallons per mile.
1/2

Not a fully-realized card, but an art mod that I'm rather proud of. This came from a thread on Fblthp being totally lost, and editing him into other card arts. Meet Fblthp the Omnipotent!

3495546
Absolute Order 8 BBW
Enchantment

Creatures, Players, and Planeswalkers cannot take damage. Creatures cannot activate their effects.
A world without freedom, without imagination. This is what the Azarious strive for. This is what all the other Guilds fear

I can't make images, but it looks like an overview of Ravnica, but without life. Any life.

3496970
Two things:
1) You mention Azorius in the flavour text, but you misspell the name
2) B means black mana. Seems strange for a card that mentions what Azorius wants and has a very blue effect (Creatures cannot activate their abilities) to no use blue mana.

3497190 I thought the letter 'B' was for blue. And sorry aboit the misspelling.

3496970 First of all, blue mana is represented by the letter U. Second, templating:

Absolute Order 8WUU
Enchantment
Prevent all damage.
Activated abilities of creatures can't be activated.

You named everything for which damage is meaningful, so we can leave out the list. Creatures aren't autonomous, and "effect" doesn't have a definition in the Magic rules, so I had to guess what you meant for the second ability.

3498754 Okay. I just wrote the entire thing by nook onto there, hence the formatting. And yes, activated abilities. I get the terms mixed up with yugioh from time to time.

3498762 I just remembered/realized that "damage can't be dealt" is valid rulestext, and with a slightly different, more potent meaning compared to "prevent all damage". Also, my first version doesn't do anything about static or triggered abilities. If you want to disable both activated and triggered abilities, Absolute Order's second ability could be "whenever an ability of a creature is triggered or activated, counter it". If you want to nullify static abilities (like passive power/toughness boosts and most keyword abilities) as well, Absolute Order's second ability should be "creatures lose all abilities and can't have or gain abilities".

3498882 got it.

3497190
Actually, both of the abilities on Absolute Order are firmly in white's slice of the color pie. Preventing the activation of abilities (or removing the abilities entirely) can be seen on cards like Linvala, Keeper of Silence, Humility, Humble, Abeyance, Angel of Jubilation, plus taxing like Suppression Field and Oppressive Rays. There are blue cards that stop abilities (pretty much the Detain keyword, which is an Azorius ability that appears on some mono-U cards, and polymorph-type spells like Turn to Frog), but they're not the standard. Similarly, there are cards in other colors which stop abilities, like Xathrid Gorgon, Hand to Hand, Katabatic Winds, and Damping Matrix... but white gets the majority of ability-stopping cards.

Here's something the Simic might've produced:

Heritability {2/G}{2/U}{G/U}
Enchantment – Aura
Enchant Aura with enchant creature
Enchanted Aura has "whenever a copy of enchanted creature enters the battlefield, put a token that's a copy of this Aura onto the battlefield enchanting that creature".
The traits most sought-after by biomancers are those that propagate themselves.

How about some nice evil spells?

Cut Short 1UB
Instant
Counter target activated ability of a creature, then destroy that ability's source. Activated abilities cannot be activated while this spell is on the stack.
His message of warning died upon his lips.

Spell Bludgeon 3UR
Enchantment
U: Counter target spell, then its controller draws a card. Use this ability only when a source you control deals 3 or more damage to that spell's controller.
"Oh I'm sorry, were you in the middle of something important?"

Hunt Abroad B
Sorcery
Reveal cards from the top of your library until you reveal a creature card, then put that card on top of your graveyard and the rest on the bottom of your library. If you control a vampire or a zombie, repeat this process.
Buyback: Discard a creature card.
"Come now, he was a beggar and of another village. You should thank me for being so picky."

3977143 It's a blockquote, achieved through a "quote" tag. Like {quote}this{/quote}, except with square brackets instead of curly braces.
Your cards look neat, but I think Cut Short's destroy effect needs to read "then destroy that ability's source", since you targeted the ability, not the creature. EDIT: Never mind, I just thought to check Gatherer. Lo and behold, your original wording has precedent.

3977285 Ok, thanks!

Newbie Card Design 5U
Instant
Choose some text. Then, each other player may alter one word of that text. Put a colorless Instant spell on the stack under your control with the chosen text as its rules text.

3977400 You may win the game, then you may win the game, then you may win the game.

Done!

3978669

but... if I... with replacement... aagh!

3979562 Oh wait, I just realized you could counter my awesome plan by replacing "You" with your own name. So how about "Target creature gets +99/+0 and is unblockable until the end of the turn. Target creature gets +99/+0 and is unblockable until the end of the turn." You can only change one of the spell's targets or its effect on one of those targets but either one wins me the game and moving it to your creature does NOT win you the game because it's my turn. Heck, I don't even need two creatures since you make your changes before I declare targets.

edit: Or you could've replaced "You" with "Opponents"

I'm going to try something a bit weird.

"Vrondi's Eyes" 1U
Enchantment – Song
At the beginning of your upkeep, put a verse counter on "Vrondi's Eyes".
2UU, remove X verse counters from "Vrondi's Eyes": Transform "Vrondi's Eyes" and put X + 1 time counters on it.
The Vrondi search for magery; they are the Heralds' spies,
and nothing can elude their vigilant, unresting eyes.
////
Omnipresent Surveillance
(Color indicator: Blue) Enchantment
Vanishing (At the beginning of your upkeep, remove a time counter from this permanent. When the last is removed, sacrifice it.)
Hexproof
Spells your opponents control lose split second and can't have or gain split second.
Your opponents and permanents your opponents control lose shroud and hexproof and can't have or gain shroud or hexproof.
No mage can escape the Vrondi's eyes.

Feel free to question my sanity regarding costs; I've got no clue how to cost this thing other than knowing it should probably require multiple blue mana.

((Edited to change the YouTube link to a video that exists.))

4675873
Certainly an interesting concept. I think it works out well, and the vanishing means that the usual problem with hosers corrects itself eventually. My only suggestion is reformating one ability as follows:

2UU, Remove all verse counters from "Vrondi's Eyes": Transform "Vrondi's Eyes", then put X time counters on it, where X is one plus the number of counters removed to activate this ability.

Alternately, you could just transform it and give the other side "At the beginning of your upkeep, remove a verse counter from Omnipresent Surveillance. Then, if there are no verse counters on Omnipresent Surveillance, sacrifice it."

(And on a personal note, it's rather gratifying to see other people using the Song type.)

4675890 Both of those options are good ones (with a slight preference for the former, since counting down with verse counters seems wrong somehow). I only included the "+ 1" because I belatedly realized that vanishing ties the sacrifice to the removal of the last counter, rather than to failing to remove a counter like fading does: as I was originally going to word it, a player could've removed zero verse counters to have Omnipresent Surveillance with zero time counters, which they would never have to sacrifice! That would've been a big "oops".
So, incorporating FoME's feedback:

"Vrondi's Eyes" 1U
Enchantment – Song
At the beginning of your upkeep, put a verse counter on "Vrondi's Eyes".
2UU, Remove all verse counters from "Vrondi's Eyes": Transform "Vrondi's Eyes", then put X time counters on it, where X is one plus the number of counters removed to activate this ability.
////
Omnipresent Surveillance
(Color indicator: Blue) Enchantment
Vanishing (At the beginning of your upkeep, remove a time counter from this permanent. When the last is removed, sacrifice it.)
Hexproof
Spells your opponents control lose split second and can't have or gain split second.
Your opponents and permanents your opponents control lose shroud and hexproof and can't have or gain shroud or hexproof.
No mage can escape the Vrondi's eyes.

Also, it was directly inspired by a song! How could I not make it a Song? And the vanishing was pretty much the only way I could think of to make the effect I was imagining care about verse counters. Making it be not ridiculously broken was a welcome side-benefit.

4676092
Why not just use Fading instead of Vanishing in that case?

4715743 For compatibility with other Time Spiral-block mechanics, primarily. Fading uses a unique type of counters ("fade counters" instead of "time counters"), so you can't fiddle with it using Jhoira's Timebug or Dust of Moments, or use it to fuel a Rift Elemental.

(Edited to add Gatherer links.)

More Songs that actually are filksongs:

Gremlins Everywhere 1G
Enchantment – Song
At the beginning of your upkeep, put a verse counter on Gremlins Everywhere.
1G, sacrifice an artifact and Gremlins Everywhere: Put X 0/1 green Gremlin creature tokens with defender, protection from artifacts, ":T:: tap target artifact", and ":T:, sacrifice this creature: destroy target tapped artifact" onto the battlefield, where X is the number of verse counters on Gremlins Everywhere.
Feed us right, or fight and lose.

March of Cambreadth W{R/B}
Enchantment – Song
At the beginning of your upkeep, put a verse counter on March of Cambreadth.
{R/W}, sacrifice March of Cambreadth: Destroy up to X target attacking creatures, where X is the number of verse counters on March of Cambreadth.
Let not one damn cur pass by!
How many of them can we make die?

There isn't really anything Black about March of Cambreadth's ability, but the feel of the song is (in my opinion) almost perfectly balanced between White, Red, and Black.

"Little Fuzzy..." {U/G}{U/G}
Enchantment – Song
At the beginning of your upkeep, put a verse counter on "Little Fuzzy...".
G, sacrifice "Little Fuzzy...": For each verse counter on "Little Fuzzy...", choose one:
· Prevent all damage that would be dealt this turn by target creature with monstrous, or
· Target creature with power 2 or less gains deathtouch until end of turn.
1U, sacrifice "Little Fuzzy...": For each verse counter on "Little Fuzzy...", choose one:
· Counter target spell or ability unless its controller pays {1}, or
· Target player puts the top card of his or her library into his or her graveyard.

With no beats missed and no fucks given between "Little Fuzzy Animals" and "Little Fuzzy Characters", I had to get them both onto a single card. I think this is about as close as a Song can get to being a split card. The fact that both "halves" themselves have two options is coincidence.

Ultimate Sacrifice 1WU
Sorcery (R)
As an additional cost to cast Ultimate Sacrifice, exile a Planeswalker you control with 3 or more loyalty counters on it.
Choose one —
• Remove all poison counters from target player.
• Remove all -1/-1 counters from target creature you control.
• Exile target Planeswalker you control, and then return it to the battlefield under its owner's control. Loyalty abilities of that Planeswalker may not be activated this turn.
Venser may be gone, but his spark lives on in Karn.

An answer to Infect that meshes with storyline, doesn't screw up Limited, isn't completely dead against a non-Infect deck, and has a significant enough cost that it doesn't just make Infect irrelevant.

The last mode has interesting interactions with Garruk Relentless and Arlin Kord, and particularly interesting interactions with the Magic Origins flip walkers, especially the ones that would be easy to re-flip like Nissa or Liliana.

Oh right, this thread is a thing. This is timely; I came up with something interesting the other day.

Stagnant Hex 1B
Enchantment — Aura
Enchant permanent
Enchanted permanent can't have counters placed on it.
"Get used to it. It won't get any better."
—Tarena, vampire hexmage

This shuts down a wide swath of cards, protects against infect, disables planeswalkers' plus abilities, and occasionally does absolutely disgusting things with cards like Decree of Silence.

(...and I only just remembered that Tatterkite exists. )

As my first act on logging in to FiMFiction in years, I will post a card:

Hazardous Woodlot
Land — Swamp Forest
As Hazardous Woodlot enters the battlefield, you may sacrifice a creature. If you don't, it enters the battlefield tapped.
{T}, sacrifice Hazardous Woodlot or a creature: add BB, BG, or GG.

The name is a reference to Hickory Woodlot, but the idea of a Swamp Forest that demands a sacrifice comes from The Greenhorn Song:

One day, I thought I'd have some fun
And see how hooking chokers was done;
Since Duncan logging had begun,
I tackled a boss that night:
He said, "My chokerman's bit the dust,
His head is bashed in, and his legs are bust,
And though (with luck) he'll live, I trust
Of chokers he hates the sight."

We hit the river the very next week;
That Duncan country looked awfully bleak.
Of that, I will not even speak:
It's just a great big bog.
The mosquitoes are huge, and so are the fleas,
We only have rotten cedar for trees,
And every step, it's mud to the knees,
And that's where I learned how to log.

7270802
Interesting. There's an infinite combo here with Reassembling Skeleton, Intruder Alarm, anything that can turn the Woodlot into a creature, and either a death trigger, an ETB trigger, or any effect that improves the Woodlot's mana output. Still, "goes infinite with Intruder Alarm" is up there with "dies to removal" in terms of Magic criticism.

Also, good to see you again!