[All text is from this article by Rob D. Young. This is good advice and it's fitting to have it in "The Writer's Group."]

Creating powerful prose requires killing off the words, phrases, and sentences that gum up your text. While a critical eye and good judgment are key in this process, some terms almost always get in the way. Here are eight words or phrases that should be hunted down in your story and deleted with extreme prejudice.

"Sudden" means quickly and without warning, but using the word "suddenly" both slows down the action and warns your reader. Do you know what's more effective for creating the sense of the sudden? Just saying what happens.

I pay attention to every motion, every movement, my eyes locked on them.
Suddenly, The gun goes off.

When using "suddenly," you communicate through the narrator that the action seemed sudden. By jumping directly into the action, you allow the reader to experience that suddenness first hand. "Suddenly" also suffers from being nondescript, failing to communicate the nature of the action itself; providing no sensory experience or concrete fact to hold on to. Just … suddenly.

Feel free to employ "suddenly" in situations where the suddenness is not apparent in the action itself. For example, in "Suddenly, I don't hate you anymore," the "suddenly" substantially changes the way we think about the shift in emotional calibration.

"Then" points vaguely to the existing timeline and says, "It was after that last thing I talked about." But the new action taking place in a subsequent sentence or sentence part implies that much already. You can almost always eliminate your thens without disrupting meaning or flow.

I woke up. Then I, brushed my teeth. Then I,, combed my hair. Then I, and went to work.

"Then" should be used as a clarifying agent, to communicate that two seemingly concurrent actions are happening in sequence. For example, "I drove to the supermarket. Then I realized I didn't need to buy anything." Without the "then," it would be easy to mistake this as pre-existing knowledge or as a realization that happened during the drive itself. "Then" can occasionally be useful for sentence flow, but keep the use of the word to a minimum.

You almost never need the phrase "in order to" to express a point. The only situation where it's appropriate to use this phrase is when using "to" alone would create ambiguity or confusion.

I'm giving you the antidote in order to save you.

And after ten minutes of brainstorming for an example of a proper time to use "in order to," I haven't been able to come up with anything. Legitimate uses of "in order to" are just that few and far between.

Words are self-contained descriptors, and saying, "Think of tasty. Now think of more tasty" doesn't help readers develop a better sense of the meal or person you're describing.

Her breath was very cold chill as ice against my neck .

Mark Twain suggested that writers could "substitute 'damn' every time you're inclined to write 'very'; your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be." Another strategy is to find a more powerful version of the same idea or give concrete details. To say "It was very/really/damn hot" does little, but saying "It was scorching" helps. Even better?: "The air rippled like desert sky as my body crisped into a reddened, dried-out husk."

Is, am, are, was, or were—whatever form your "is" takes, it's likely useless. When's the last time you and your friends just "was'd" for a while? Have you ever said, "Hey, guys, I can't—I'm busy am-ing"?

The "is" verbs are connecting terms that stand between your readers and the actual description. This is especially true when it comes to the "is" + "ing" verb pair. Any time you use "is," you're telling the reader that the subject is in a state of being. Using an "ing" verb tells the audience the verb is in process. By using "is verbing," you're telling your audience that the subject is in the state of being of being in the process of doing something.

Take this example:

I was sprinting sprinted toward the doorway.

If the description is actually about a state of being—"they are angry," "are evil," or "are dead"—then is it up. But don't gunk up your verbs with unnecessary is, am, or was-ing.

Any action a person takes is started, continued, and finished. All three of these can be expressed by the root form of the verb. For example, "I jumped." The reader who stops in frustration, saying, "But when did the jump start? When did it finish?" has problems well beyond the scope of the content they're reading.

If you've been doing yoga for six years, you could reasonably say, "I started doing yoga six years ago." For you, yoga is an ongoing action with a concrete starting point. But when describing action in a story, there are few circumstances where "start" is effective.

Let's take this case and look at the potential fixes:

He started screaming.

Is it a single scream? Use "He screamed." Are you telling us his screams will be background noise for a while? Rather than clueing us in unnecessarily, show us the series of screams first-hand. Do you want to introduce a changed state, such as escalating from loud speaking into screaming? Show us the decibels, the gruffness of voice, the way the air feels to the person he's screaming at, and the hot dryness in the screamer's throat as his volume crescendos.

"That" is a useful word for adding clarity, but like Bibles on the bedstands of seedy motel rooms, the word's presence is often out of place.

When "that" is employed to add a description, you can almost always move the description to before the term and make a more powerful image.

Ireland was nothing but flowing green hills that flowed green.

In many other cases, "that" can simply be dropped or replaced with a more descriptive term.

I was drunk the night that your father and I met.

Many other uses of "that," such as "I wish I wasn't that ugly", can be enhanced with more descriptive language.

I'm not just saying that, like, you shouldn't, like, talk like a valley girl (though that too). Here's the problem: "Like" is used to show uncertainty. And you. Should. Not. Be. Uncertain.

Be bold. When making a comparison, use force. Use metaphor over simile. Don't let yourself cop out by coming up with a halfway description.

My eyes rested on the gun for a sliver of a moment. I snapped forward, grabbed it, and it was like the chill metal flowed from the gun into my veins.

One of the 36 articles by the infamously fantastic Chuck Palahniuk dives into the issue of like in great detail. It's well worth checking out.

As always, Orwell's final rule applies: "Break any of these rules before saying anything barbarous." There are instances where each of these words fills a valuable role. However, especially among inexperienced writers, these words are frequently molested and almost always gum up the works.

Apply these lessons immediately and consistently to empower your words. Then, with practice, you will suddenly realize that you are starting to naturally trim the text in order to create prose that is very powerful.

Thanks for that, I really needed this for upcoming chapters

I sometimes find metaphors misleading if overused.

I do use more metaphors than similes. But sometimes it seems necessary to use ambiguity to when perhaps there is not a direct comparison for the thing I am describing.

But thanks for the tips.

In a story I'm Writing I have sued the word 'started' to show the reader that the storm ( a big sand storm) has only just begun. It is not yet in full swing.

It makes a fair point in almost all cases, but I still hate this polemic style of naming and writing articles. It always feels as if they were accusing you of being an idiot.
Why not call it: "8 words you should use more consciously"? No, it has to have those buzz words 'seek', 'destroy', 'eliminate', 'kill' for people to read it in the first place. But I guess there is no time to think about what the words one writes down actually mean.

946861 I guarantee the author wasn't thinking of you.

I'm really bad about "suddenly" usage, and maybe a coupla these other ones. But, that's why I'm here, to learn from the rest of you'se guys. Very informative, thanks for posting.

Food for thought. I like.

Intresting post and good tips.

946806
Hey, you've earned a heart with this thread. To the Quick Ultimate of Important Thread Search with you. Please, keeping aiming to make magnificent threads so we may Q.U.I.T.S. in the future once more.

Live, Learn, Let go
~Cosmic

Suddenly, I started to read this thread because I was very curious like a curious person. I really began to like this thread, and then I was thanking you for helping me in order to improve my writing.

946806
I agree except for the absolutist attitude. While, yes, you should generally watch for these things, complete elimination is unnecessary and extreme. For example, some people might "break" these rules in conversation. Should you delete them if that's how the person/pony would actually speak? Of course not.

So yeah, good tips to keep in mind, not absolutes to live by. That's just limiting.

947224

As always, Orwell's final rule applies: "Break any of these rules before saying anything barbarous." There are instances where each of these words fills a valuable role. However, especially among inexperienced writers, these words are frequently molested and almost always gum up the works.

Not to mention that dialogue is allowed to break rules with impunity—people speak ungrammatically, after all, therefore so should characters.

So... yes?

Thank you for this. I try to be more descriptive without fully diving into the realm of purple-prose. This will help immensely.

Hmm this will help me alot thank you. ☺

Ah yes, I use these words all too often. While I typically iron such words out during editing, they still can crop up too many times in my writing.

I'm bookmarking that article

Thanks for posting it.

947308
Yeah, I saw. Point still remains, on the title and lead in. A lot of people see that and, regardless of what they read on the way through, it sticks with them past the end.

I suddenly realized that I use 'that' all too frequently; it's something I started doing in order to pad out my essays, then it crept into my regular writing like an infestation. This is very helpful. Thanks for posting!

There's definitely good advice in here, but it's important to not get so focused on eliminating unnecessary words that you neglect things like rhythm, timing, or the idiosyncrasies of actual speech. Part of turning a good phrase is knowing when to include some small "buffer" words to delay gratification or increase surprise.

I do use too many adverbs, though, and frankly it always really, truthfully, indubitably, factually helps to be reminded to professionally, dispassionately pare them down.

Hey. I'll use those words as much as I want! YOU'RE NOT THE BOSS OF ME!

No but seriously, there's a time and a place for every word, and I agree that some of these are often done wrong.

On the use of the word 'very'...

Thanks for this fella.
Now I understand the issues I have too resolve.
Thanks for posting.

946806
100% agreement on 'suddenly' and 'started' and 'then'.
'Suddenly' is used far too much, and feels really artificial, especially in past-tense.
'Started' is another one that feels totally unnecessary and artificial. There's not really any reason to use it, most of the time, as you showed in your example. Don't get me wrong, it has its place. Just... not so much right in front of a verb.
'Then'... yeah. All too often you see it used it to list a series of under-described actions.

All the rest... meh.
Mostly I don't see them ill-used. Or they're used to avoid overly purple prose. However, I see far less purple prose than utterly trashy prose. The kind where you'd see an overuse of the three I mentioned. After a bunch of those fics, it's positively refreshing to see overly flowery writing.

946806
Finally someone posting something like this,
That is the most over used word in the english language
9 times out of 10 it is totally superflous

947223 Thpectacular!

3598940
Why did you bump a thread that's over a year old?
Are you that starved for attention?

3598966 What is forum etiquette?

Good thing I won't be tarred and feathered, right?

3598966
Ha! Admittedly, he/she's pulling things from Cosmic's old the List of Important Threads.

So, um, kinda our fault for having one with such ancient links.

I guess that heart icon in all of them was edited into the thread titles by ol' Cosmic.
He's cute even when he's not around.

3598972
No tar -- just tree sap.

3598974
I guess that would 'splain it, Lucy Lumie...

"Suddenly" works just fine when something happens very quickly and surprises the characters, especially the protagonist. The problem is that it's not always used like that. It's especially jarring if used when the event isn't particularly sudden.

"Then" is useful to establish sequential temporal connection. It is important when the nature of a character's action or experience changes but one wants to show that the new event happens right after the previous one. Again, the problem is its over-use, not its use. Worst is a chain of "thens."

"I got out of bed then I showered then I dressed then I walked out my door" is completely unnecessary.

The reader who stops in frustration, saying, "But when did the jump start? When did it finish?" has problems well beyond the scope of the content they're reading.

You are, in fact, describing the intellectual problem that was eventually solved through the invention of calculus. The Paradox of Achilles and the Tortoise.

946806

I'm not just saying that, like, you shouldn't, like, talk like a valley girl (though that too). Here's the problem: "Like" is used to show uncertainty. And you. Should. Not. Be. Uncertain.

You should also not follow absolute extremes at all times.
This sentiment entirely precludes the use of "like" to liken things unto other things, like simile, entendre, and innuendo. Which, for the purpose of prose, accomplishes the same end as "not using very" which is the goal of not writing shit when you can write well phrased things. To strike "like" out of your language is more lazy than to use "very" because you are showing you can't be arsed to learn how to use it properly.
It also strikes an entire form of expression from your vocabulary: comparative symbolism.

From Ch 1 of To Cure Deception:
His mind was a track all a-race with questions that shook doubt from him like autumn leaves.

If you don't want to be uncertain, then don't be, but you can still use the word "like" in definite terms. Just as you can also use "like" in uncertain terms to illustrate a definite idea.
Basically, you're saying that people should remove "like" from their writing because they can't be trusted to use it properly, and you can't be arsed to correct them. There are plenty of times that the author may need to express uncertainty explicitly, as well as implicitly, and there are equally many times when the reader could benefit from that uncertainty.

Oh, I think I could add another couple:

--Just
"Twilight was just stumped with this problem."
"She just shook her head."
--Anything ending in 'ly'
"She walked quietly crept out of the library."

3599332
I think the hate on "ly" words is a little overblown these days. What if she did just walk quietly out of the library and didn't creep or anything?

They just need to be used sparingly and not every time the author is stumped for a word.

I feel like a lot of this advice is relevant more towards third person omniscient narration, which is supposed to be a little more distant and "clean", as opposed to first person and third person limited, where the narration is often colored by how the character thinks and views the world, which may determine some of the words being used.

Extraneous words are also a different matter in dialogue, as speech is imperfect. If using them fits the voice of the character speaking, then by all means.

3599448
Well, yes... but in general, it's better to use strong verbs and nouns rather than weak verbs and nouns bolstered by adverbs and adjectives.

Of course you can (and should) still use some... but most authors tend to use too many in the first draft where strong, vivid verbs could be used to better effect.

3599332

I know adverbs are considered bad form, but somehow I find myself curiously in favor of them. I mean, obviously it's a problem when they are badly overused, but seriously, sometimes a good adverb is exactly what you need.

3599747
Yes, yes. Sometimes.
Just, it's a good idea when you're revising to go through, find each one, and ask, 'do I really need this, or could I get rid of it if I used a better verb?'

946806

To say "It was very/really/damn hot" does little, but saying "It was scorching" helps. Even better?: "The air rippled like desert sky as my body crisped into a reddened, dried-out husk."

Y'know, I might have to steal interpret something like that...
Also, when I read the last sentence I didn't realize what it was at first. My honest thought was "that is very profound."
And my mind used that wording, too.
Darn you, mind.

3598966 One day, someone is going to bump the oldest thread in this group.

Going through the list, all I could think was, 'no hard and fast rules for much of anything, but a lot of that stuff certainly does get overused.'

I've been seen 'and', 'then' and 'and then' far too much lately.

3599076

"Suddenly" works just fine when something happens very quickly and surprises the characters, especially the protagonist. The problem is that it's not always used like that. It's especially jarring if used when the event isn't particularly sudden.

Quite a few people I've spoken with had the complaint that the word it'self slows things down, having the opposite of the intended-effect.

946806

I agree with 947224 here--as with anything, there's a time and a place. I have my own words I overuse (and when i identify them, I pay real attention going forward).

Still, it's worth paying attention to these tips, and thinking whenever you, like, write a lazy, uncertain sentence if it would be better--if it would tell the story better--if it were changed.