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To elaborate: I don't necessarily find it difficult writing about certain ponies physical attributes, it's just recently I have seen a lot of people go about it in a bad way. They explain it in a way with no effort what so ever, they give color of fur, mane, eyes etc. and move immediately to the next subject. I'm relatively new here, thus I'm having trouble finding good examples of how to describe characters, and I would like advice on writing about physical attributes in a way that doesn't sound lazy or rushed.

An example of this I have seen is something along the likes of: He is green, and his mane is a dark, velvety red. His eyes are a beautiful turquoise. *Moves on to main plot*

Give it away in the story.

(giving away fur color). "He rushed across the grassand hid in the bush, his dark green fur making him blend with the laeves arround him. Needless to say it war the perfect hiding-spot".
(giving away eye/mane color) "Staring into the pond in front of him, she saw nothing but her own azure eyes, and her marine blue mane. She sighed, and trotted away."

(giving away physical atribute. endurance) "Breathing heavily, she thundered down the street. The buffalo had been chasing her for several miles, and she was unsure if she could keep on much longer"
(another example. weak magic) "A dim yellow light was all that appeared when he attempted to use his magic. Desperately trying to make it work, he put more willpower into the spell, but in no awail. He would never be able to use magic properly"


The whole point is to bake it into the text. Personality is done in the same fashion, but usually then over long time.

From Two Ponies by Twilight Snarkle:

Copper Key was a delicate, almost frail earth pony. She had a dancer’s legs and a regal bearing, and her hazel eyes glittered with mischief. Her coat was a faint jade green, almost white. Her mane and tail were a deep forest green, worn long, but they were thinning - only a few hairs grew high enough on her neck to fall as a forelock, and her tail was more of a suggestion than a reality.

So, metaphors and brief description (beside colour).

I hope this helps!

Thanks guys, that was very helpful

920879
This is information I could use. My imagination can't 'picture' things, so I tend to gloss over physical descriptions. It shows in my writing; half the time, I'll be lucky to have more than a color. And even if I do cobble together something approaching a description, I can never find a way to neatly integrate it into the story. It's quite a pain.

Yeah, as dartmaul said, one way is to slip the description in while the character is doing things. If you're just giving the highlights of their description, that works beautifully. If you wish to give a fuller description, for instance if the details of their clothing are important, then the way I see most professional authors do it is simply to dump it when the viewpoint character gets their first look.

An example of the latter approach, from "The Hallowed Hunt" by Lois McMaster Bujold. The viewpoint character, Ingrey, has been sent to collect the corpse of a murdered prince. He is ushered into the room where the body lies covered with a cloth:

Ingrey could read little in the housemaster's reaction, except the obvious, that Ulkra was glad to be handing responsibility for this on to someone else. Uneasily, Ulkra folded back the pale cloth covering his dead master. Ingrey frowned at the body.
Prince Boleso kin Stagthorne had been the youngest of the hallow king's surviving—of the hallow king's sons, Ingrey corrected his thought in flight. Boleso was still a young man, for all he had come to his full growth and strength some years ago. tall, muscular, he shared the long jaw of his family, masked with a short brown beard. The darker brown hair of his head was tangled now, and matted with blood. His booming energy was stilled; drained of it, his face lost its former fascination, and left Ingrey wondering how he had once been fooled into thinking it handsome. He moved forward, hands cradling the skull, probing the wound. Wounds. The shattered bone beneath the scalp gave beneath his thumbs' pressure on either side of a pair of deep lacerations, blackened with dried gore.

This often annoys the hell out of me. I really want to put in descriptions of things, despite the fact that if I was reading it, I might gloss over it, and plus I don't really know how to put some of the stuff I imagine into words without resorting to verbal or visual blueprints.

My story was fairly straightforward with this, but I've gradually expanded on it.

Main character's good looks are alluded to, so he takes a look in the mirror. This is what we call a cliched framing device, and it should never, ever be repeated!

One of the leads is described when the main character sees her, but tries to remember her name, so he goes over the details one by one. This... isn't as bad.

The other lead is described up front when she first appears, but her eye color is left out until the person she's talking to goes out of her way look into her eyes ("eyes told the tale").

What have we learned from this post? What not to do.:twilightblush:
But, I'm sure another perspective is useful to someone.

923974 It may drive you nuts but that is really a common device. It is when some one is comtemplating another. As part of that through examination of a character, the author usually takes that oportunity to include a physical description as well as an esoteric examination of his/her personality.
It works espically well for narcissitic personality. (See movie 'Dereck Zoolander')

(sorry 'bout the bad spelling, I live for spell checker:twilightsheepish:)

If you look closely a lot of well-regarded or more literary writers don't bother that much with description, and let the reader imagine things him or herself based on the semantics of the scene or the personality of the character, only pointing things out when they're relevant to an action or to the atmosphere.

If a character has a shaved head and a tick of running his/her hand over it, that would be the time to mention that, or if a character is very fat or thin, the way their clothes constrict them or hang off them in an unflattering way would be the opportunity to describe that, since in real life that's the sort of thing that brings those traits to the forefront of our minds in the first place.

Some uniquely pony things you could do would be to mention a coat color in regards to leaving hairs or feathers on furniture, or the timbre of hoofsteps of the floor suggesting build, or being unable to see if his/her ears are moving because of an unusual hairstyle or hat.

Luminary
Group Contributor

920879
Depending on a character's importance to the story, that might be all you need, really.

If a character we're following only takes a quick glance of some unimportant background character, colours, cutie mark, gender and extremes of age and morphology are probably the more glaring things to notice.

If you pass some stranger on the street, and he, say, picks up something you accidentally dropped, how much are you going to remember about him in five minutes? Probably something along the lines of 'He was a dark-skinned guy, skinny as a post, with grey hair, maybe in his fifties.'

If the character is important to the story, yeah, some more description is probably warranted. You could always spread it out a bit, so it doesn't seem so artificial. Add in physical traits as passing mentions as people notice them.

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