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TTALES OF THE DESERT RAT
After the Equestria civil war between the two sisters most pony's did not want to follow the laws of the solar empire others want their old lives back before the war. But some few chose the life of a gunfighter author's note first time writing
anarchywolf18 · 11k words  ·  16  3 · 755 views

Read: Completed as of this review, 7,736 words, 3 chapters
Rating: 7/10
Recommendation: Read if you enjoy westerns.

Now this right here is a western. My favourite kind of western too; a good old spaghetti western, full of larger-than-life characters and over-the-top violence. Desert Rat is a bounty hunter who travels the nastier bits of Equestria, doing good with a variety of weapons and his winning personality.

I liked this one; I really did. However, I was obliged to read it. You, kind reader, probably aren’t. And that’s where I run into the first problem here: The writing isn’t great, especially in the first chapter. Starting off, Anarchywolf18 doesn’t have the greatest grasp of grammar and, while I’d argue that he is a good storyteller, he is certainly not the best writer. There’s a difference between thinking up a good story, with plot and characters, and putting the proverbial pen to proverbial paper. In much the same vein, the dialogue also struggles - character definitely comes through but its stifled through clunky speech.

In terms of actual plot, the story itself is a collection of short stories that each detail one of Desert Rat’s adventures. As far as I can tell, there isn’t really any continuity between them. However, Anarchywolf18 has done a decent job at worldbuilding here and the Equestria he portrays certainly seems believable, albeit deeply unpleasant to live in.

Of course, you’re probably not reading this for the characters or the setting. You’re reading this to see whose skull Desert Rat cracks next. And, in that regard, TALES, is serviceable - again hampered by mediocre narration, especially in the beginning, the action itself works just fine and the writer manages to make each encounter seem fairly unique. Of course some scumbag will get shot, or stabbed, or whatevered, but it's the journey that counts here and, here, it's pretty good.

Plot: 4/5. I can see why this is a book in universe
Characters: 3/5. Workable protagonist but forgettable supporting characters and mediocre villains
Style: 3/5. Amateurish, but it’s got heart
Execution: 3/5. Enjoyable spaghetti western
Overall Rating: 13/20 = 7/10

To Anarchywolf18: Keep this up but I’d definitely say that you should rewrite the first two chapters at some point. Being what most people read first, even in an anthology like this, they really ought to make the best possible impression. I’d also recommend for you to keep working on your grammar as that’s what’s mainly letting you down here. 

For something like this: Both myself and CuttleFishGod have tried our hands at westerns too; you might find something of interest in these.

Thank you for the review

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