5169720 The kind that has a talent for foresight, perhaps?

5170096
5170109

Imagine the school register:

"Rarity?"

"Present."

"Applejack?"

"Here."

"... That can't possibly be right. Okay, own up: who replaced the new filly's name with that awful thing?"

Deepthroat sighed. Here we go. "Teacher, please just get it over with, and say my name."

"...What"

"My name, Miss. It's not been altered. Please just say it."

"...What."

Deepthroat sighed again. "Please."

"...Deepthroat Cockslut?"

"Here."

5170175 I'd be raising an eyebrow and look at her in confusion

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5170096
5170109

Ahh, good ol' Deepy.

Been a while since I've seen this particular OC pop up in a story.

5170346 Is he rather popular? This is the first time I've heard of this OC...

5171212 He? With a name like Deepthroat Cockslut?

Nah Deepy is a mare. And I'm pretty sure she was intended as a joke OC. I only know of her because of Derpibooru.

Reviewing: The Life and Times of Deepthroat Cockslut

Read: All presented chapters

Status: Rejected

I can feel the disappointment and perhaps anger pouring through the webpage at this rejection, but hear me out.

First, I need to borrow a banner from Rage Reviews:

This character is the personification of the perfect male fantasy: a beautiful woman ( pony ) that will not only perform one of the most intimate acts upon a male, she lives for it. And I'm not saying that's a bad thing, far from it! I think it's great to have one's fantasies "fleshed out," as it were, especially such a common one. But there's a couple things wrong with this story that led up to my rejecting it.

(1) In the first couple chapters, "Deepy," as she's nicknamed, performs these acts while she is still a minor, first when she is eleven years old, and second when she's fifteen. I don't have a problem with sexually explicit portrayals in fiction, just so long as the parties involved are of age. Eleven is far too young to be doing such things, and fifteen is not much better. I realize I may be injecting my personal bias into this review, but let's just say I have my reasons why I cannot approve sexual content that involves children, even fictional children.

(2) I had a brief conversation with our leader, HapHazred, about this tale. I needed to know the Group's policy on porn, and this was his response:

If you can conjure up a reason outside of it being porn (good porn or otherwise) that might attract people, then it's all okay in our books. Back in the day we decided it'd be gnarly to have stories that were just porn and nothing else, but we're comfortable having stories that have porn in them, so long as there's other stuff to take away from the story, if that makes sense.

It's a bit wishy-washy, but that's how most artsy things are.

So that's the second reason for this rejection. Outside of some good characterization, there is nothing here to attract the reader except the explicit stuff. Everything in this tale is either porn or a set up for the same. You'd have to look long and hard ( pun intended ) to find better fap material, but that's all this is. Pure, explicit porn. It needs to be more than that to be part of this Group. Pass.

Reading: Run for the Roses

This is one of my favorite authors, so this should be awesome.

5183827
On the one hand: Run for the Roses by 8686 is getting reviewed for The Goodfic Bin approval status!

But on the other hand: I was kinda hoping that HapHazred would be the one to get around to reviewing this, partly because it takes place in a tavern, and partly because I already know you thoroughly enjoyed it.

5183827

I've yet to read any of this author's work. I will give this a try myself, I think.

5184165 Well, HapHazred has just been told by his team-mates that the motor that should have had an encoding shaft on the back end doesn't, in fact, have one, after a month and a half of me designing all the parts to not extend a motor shaft through parts just so I can slot an encoder on the end.

The end result means I have to play magician and conjure up space out of nowhere. I have, but now I need to reprint all my parts whilst also manufacturing everything else (which, by the way, brings me to another point: when I order silver-steel rods a metre long, I do tend to expect them to come in one meter lengths. Last I checked, thirty centimeters is not a metre) whilst doing other coursework whilst still finding time to indulge in my late-night alcoholism.

It's been a fun week.

5184304

Kinky.

Reviewing: Run for the Roses

Read: All

Status: Approved

Wow. Now THIS was a journey! Let me try to curb my enthusiasm and give a balanced, thoughtful review...ah, who am I kidding?! I can barely contain my glee for this tale! This author has crafted one of the most entertaining and emotional stories I have ever read. Let's begin with the characters:

Meet Single Measure, a singular unicorn barkeep who has seen his share of...let's say, "interesting situations" in his travels around Equestria. He has finally decided to settle in Ponyville, and he describes the inhabitants thusly:

Only thing left to tell you about are the customers, and more than anything it’s them that turn the Roses from being just another gin-joint into something really special. Because even though this is a drinking establishment, the folks here aren’t the kinds of ponies that come just to drink. You know the sort, I’m sure: the folks who live to see how much liquor they can stuff in their bellies like it’s some sort of contest before deciding that they need to cause some trouble to prove a point. I’ve dealt with my share of, shall we say, ‘difficult’ patrons in other places and, yes, more than once kicks have been thrown. But that just doesn’t happen here. In Ponyville the worst I’ve ever had to do is raise my voice to a yell and point sternly at the door. And the next day it’s all smiles, mutual ‘sorry’s and no hard feelings. Like the ponies in this town don’t even know the meaning of the word ‘grudge.’ It’s just... nice.

That short paragraph gives so much insight into this character's personality, and thus he has quickly shot up to the top of my very short list of favorite OCs. This is coming from a man who has "met" Bad Dude AND Batsy Fluffentuft, the Magnificent, Every OC in this tale is well-rounded and very likable, which is only a small part of this story's magic. Now we arrive at the tale itself.

This is a first person story told exclusively through the eyes of Single Measure. Through his perspective we meet all our beloved characters ( and some that aren't so beloved ) with a new focus. They're all recognizable, but it's like meeting them all for the first time. There's humor, sadness and disappointment, mixed in with worry and anticipation. Without giving away the plot, let me just say there's a serious incident with one of the Mane Six that turns the entire town into a panic. This tale was released one chapter per day, and each day felt like an eternity before I was able to find out more. If a hurricane had hit my town, I would have found some way to get online and finish this story.

But this is no mere bunch of words thrown together for a cheap grab at the feels, but an extremely well-crafted piece of art that one will not soon forget. I was especially moved by Pinkie's portrayal...that's all I can say about it.

In keeping with the theme of the show, friendship is at the heart of this tale, one where you'll make new friends and be reintroduced to your old ones. Not only is this approved, it's going in the High Quality Goodfics folder.

This story only four chapters long, but that's all it needed. Stop whatever you're doing and read this one. You will not regret it.

5191711

This tale was released one chapter per day, and each day felt like an eternity before I was able to find out more. If a hurricane had hit my town, I would have found some way to get online and finish this story.

This story only four chapters long, but that's all it needed. Stop whatever you're doing and read this one. You will not regret it.

I can vouch for both of these statements. Seriously, anyone who's reading this comment should be reading Run for the Roses instead.

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I know you're a bit too busy at the moment, but when you get enough spare time, let me try to add some extra incentive for you especially to read it: AppleDash friendshipping.

Story: Biomom, by MythrilMoth.

Rating: 9.25/10.

Status: Accepted.

This story is like the transformers in that it's more than meets the eye. Way more than meets the eye, in this case. I won't spoil it here, but I will say that the plot is wonderful, with a very interesting worldbuilding story to tell. The characters are well handled, and this story is actually quite funny, even if that's not a focus. The problem is, this story is focused very heavily on the parts I will not spoil, as the initial premise is only a portion of the total story. This makes it very hard to review in depth. As an added bonus, this story is not one of the crazy door stoppers that many multi-chapter stories turn into, clocking in much closer to normal books in size.

Reading: Sprockets in the North

Giving this one another go. I believe I've read enough of the preceding tale to get the gist of this one, so hopefully I can accurately review this story. Also, it's one of a few tales that have sat in this folder for far too long.

5191711

I concur. There is a lovely little mystery element to that fic, the conclusion of which was well done and rather satisfactorily. I shall be checking out the author's other work.

Reviewing: Sprockets in the North

Read: Four chapters

Status: Approved

Now this is indeed an Adventure, but definitely not a stand alone tale. I seem to remember approving the preceding tale, but I never finished reading it. That turned out to be unfortunate when I took on this one, for there was so much action and so many missing pieces the sequel was extremely hard to follow.

Even so, I was able to catch on to some previously unknown events, and by chapter two there were enough clues explained that made the rest of the tale understandable. It did not hurt that the writer does an excellent job of characterization, as all the players are well fleshed out, both OCs and original cast. Now for the tale itself.

This is the continuation of the adventures of Sterling Gears, a Human that not only turned into a pony but also switched genders from male to female. Maybe I missed something by not reading further in the preceding tale, Gears in the Void, but there doesn't seem to be any reason for the gender switch other than to fulfill the writer's self inserted fantasy. The things the character accomplishes, her interactions with others and the story itself does nothing gender-specific, so in the end it made little difference. Oh, and did I mention this is a Brony in Equestria fic? Yeah...

The only thing that saved this story for me is this truly is an adventure, and the Equestria the protagonist encounters is not a carbon copy of the show. I'm always intrigued when authors put forth some effort and defy our expectations by slightly tweaking the familiar settings, but not so much that they're unrecognizable. This is an Equestria that's slightly off-center, which just adds substance to the tale.

So again, read this one only after you've finished the preceding tale, if you wish to be less confused. OR, you can throw caution to the winds, steer into the skid and dive in head first, consequences be damned! The world needs more rebels!

(note to self: drink less beer when reviewing.)

Ah, hello there, folks. Not too sure on the process here, and whether or not it's bad form for me to leave a comment on what kind of, sort of looks like a backstage, organizational thread. Still, at the risk of shooting myself in the foot…

5211313

Though I said in the comments I enjoyed this story, I took some time to ponder why. In the end I came to a conclusion: I didn't enjoy the story. The only reason why I said that was because I wanted to agree with everyone else. The reason why I'm accepting it is because if I don't, I fear I will be making a mistake.

Are you certain you actually want to approve it, if all that's the case? At best, you make it sound like a situation where getting a second opinion might have been a good idea. Do things really get that changeable here…?

Also, I don't recall submitting that fic, or if someone else did it, I suppose they never told me. I guess I'm mostly just confused to be getting pointed towards a really lukewarm, mostly tangential review out of the blue like this.

5211482
Nah, it's not bad form at all. I'm just a regular member here to get some new reading material every now and then, but I've left a few comments in this thread and the group admins haven't yelled at me yet. (Also, I'm pretty sure that responding as the author to a review of a story is perfectly fine here, plenty of others have done it.)

Also, I don't recall submitting that fic, or if someone else did it, I suppose they never told me.

I'd bet on the latter, mostly because this thread is for stories from the "Submissions: Submit OTHER People's Work Here" folder.

5211514
That'd do it, I suppose. Danke schön.

5211546
You are most certainly welcome to reply to a review of your story, or any story for that matter, so long as the thread stays on topic.

Reading: Metamorphosis

Reviewing: The Witching Hour

Read: Four chapters

Status: Approved

There are many, many technical problems with this tale, such as USING all CAPS for EMPHASIS instead of italics. This piece would do well with a good editor and proofreader, to smooth out the other rough edges. Other than those issues, here we have a very original character that I first suspected was going to be our dreaded Alicorn trope, but surprisingly it is not. The author has taken Japanese mythology and ran with it, creating a unique character and giving her an interesting backstory. By the time I stopped reading the Mane Six had already made an appearance, and they all are for the most part in character. I thought Pinkie's portrayal was a bit over the top, but then I remembered her behaving in the same manner the first time she met Cranky Doodle. ( Actually, as an aside, that episode still bugs me, and if I had been Cranky I would have had her arrested. Moving on... )

What we have here is a very good Slice 0f Life tale that isn't too heavy handed in the feels. The protagonist has basically been searching for a place she can be accepted, despite her odd appearance. I can relate to this character's problems, for it is not easy moving to a new place and being welcomed, especially with her past experiences. That's the magic of this tale: one does become immersed, despite the technical errors, and for a grammar Nazi such as myself that's saying a lot. Still, a little editing wouldn't hurt.

Reviewing: For Queen and Country

Read: Four chapters

Status: Approved

This is a very rare case of acceptance, due to the rest of the story being original, as most of the first chapter was certainly not. Basically, the author copied the first few scenes from Skyfall, and I almost rejected this tale outright once I realized. But then I kept reading, and the writer showed his talent in actually writing, instead of copying.

Here we have the very absurd idea of Daniel Craig as 007 ending up in Equestria. Picturing the actor walking around Ponyville seemed altogether too silly, but it somehow works. I was a little disappointed the author took the easy road and had him understanding Equestrian ( even being able to read it ), but I suppose that would have complicated things. It would have been more interesting, and again, I wish more authors would deal with the obvious language barrier that would exist between two completely different species, but "if wishes were horses then beggars would ride."

As would be expected, there is a fair amount of intrigue in this Bond tale, and there are events happening off-screen that make for an interesting plot. It seems there was a nefarious purpose behind 007's extraction into Equestria, and so far it promises to be an exciting adventure. One thing is conspicuously absent for this being a James Bond tale: the absence of the Romance or Sex tag, which I have to say is a relief. This character has had it pretty easy once he's reached Ponyville, so having Bond do his usual number with the ladies would have cheapened the tale, IMO. However, I've seen enough already to indicate those easy times are soon drawing to a close.

Thankfully the tale is finished and even has a sequel, so I may very well come back and finish this one. James Bond meets My Little Pony. Now that's using one's imagination!

Reviewing: Sweet Nothings

Read: Five chapters

Status: Approved

Every once in awhile, I get completely amazed at the talent I find within this website. Who would think that a simple show about talking, pastel colored ponies could spawn so many spinoffs and engaging stories of their own? That's the case here.

Meet Lucky Day, a Pegasus on the run from his home for the crime of murder. The Equestria he faces is most definitely not the one from the show, but a barren wasteland. I have only read a few chapters of Fallout: Equestria, but it seems to me that's the world being portrayed here, especially with the mention of a "stable." Though this lacks the Crossover tag, that's really not a concern as any unfamiliar terms have been so far explained. But this is not a tale about settings, although the Wasteland is a character in its own right. Our protagonist has a very harsh transition from his "stable life" (see what I did there?) to the barren place in which he finds himself, where the tale truly earns its Gore tag. But the gore is not overdone, just...necessary.

From the few comments I read it seems a knowledge of the source material would make this an even better read, but as I mentioned it's not needed, as this story stands on its own. But it's not for the squeamish.

Before giving my review of this latest story, I thought it would be a good idea to first get the responses of the typical Brony on the street.

You sir! Excuse me, do you have a moment?

Who are you?! Get away from me!!

Okaaay...moving on. Excuse me, miss? Can I ask you to read a few paragraphs of this story?

I guess...what is it?

It's called The Many Deaths of Rainbow Dash

That sounds awful! Lemme see!

.....

Well? What did you think?

huuurrrrrrkk!

...my shoes...

Sir! Excuse me.

(creepy voice) Yeeeeeeessss?

Umm...could you read a few paragraphs of this story and tell me what you think?

Ssssuuurre...

....

What are your thoughts?

Heh heh heh...I like it when ponies get hurt...

And that's it for now!

What we have here is an extremely gory tale about magic gone awry. Think Final Destination meets Monty Python meets My Little Pony. Through an increasingly contrived set of circumstances, our cyan flyer finds herself unable to die but undergoes the most gruesome demises, each more graphic than the last. I was seriously glad I'd skipped a meal before reading this one, for my stomach rolled over more than once.

But then I entered a state of belief suspension and saw this tale for what it is: a very dark Comedy, even though it's missing those tags. I was reminded of this video (relevant part begins at 1:00 mark):

So there you have it. If Gore doesn't bother you, then this is a good tale. But if you're like me, and started laughing just to keep from crying, then give this one a miss. The only thing that saved this tale is it's very well written, and I ended up reading five chapters for this review, with the intention of finishing it. I'm going to Approve this one, only because I know there are some who may truly enjoy this tale.

Reviewing: The Mailmare and the Watchmaker

Read: All presented chapters

Status: Approved

This was really a so-so tale that I would have rather been excited about, but there's really not that much to it yet. This is one of my favorite ships, going back to the plethora of truly imaginative videos on youtube concerning the two. So I guess I expected more.

What we have here is a simple tale of Derpy meeting Dr Hooves Time Turner, becoming immediately smitten with him, and her machinations for him to feel the same way about her. It feels forced because it seems the author was already going with the presumption that they should be a couple, so there's no build up on Derpy's part. Give the reader time to adjust to the idea; let's see some ambivalence on Derpy's part or at least some background as to why she immediately likes him and wants to be with him. I see this problem in writing all the time: writers proceed from their headcanon, presuming their readers all understand the situation the same as they do. That's not always the case, and it rarely ends well for the story.

Then there's the sad fact this tale hasn't updated in almost two years. I really want to know how things turn out for the two, as Derpy is one of my favorites, and the story has stopped at a point where the situation is quite distressing for her. Perhaps this signal boost will encourage the author to continue. I can see where the writer is going, and I fully expect this tale to improve. But for now, it's building up steam, with only the promise of further intrigue.

5167378
So glad you appear to have enjoyed what you read so far, but, uh, did you ever get around to completing it?

5234818
Not yet, as I've been trying to review quite a few stories, and work on some of my own. But it's in my bookshelf.

5234720
I read your little review a couple of times before eventually realizing that I too feel the same way about the piece...

I'd very much like to finish it, and I have plans to, but it may not be happening for a little while longer. I have been out of the game for a while now, 2+ years almost, and I'm slowly getting back into fanfiction. I only have a couple of stories that I am willing to finish (or rather, have plans to finish) on this site, and once that is done I think I can leave with a sound mind.

In any event, I think you may have nudged me further into meeting this goal, and while I may not start writing immediately, the gears are beginning to turn again. I thank you, Solstice.

5235891
You're quite welcome, and I look forward to reading more of your work.

Reading: Eclipse

Okay, so, I actually read Keepers of Discord ages ago, and it's been in my favourites list for a while, so I figure I can get this one over quickly whilst I still have five minutes free in exam period.

Keepers of Discord.

Accepted.

Keepers of Discord is great, lads. To be fair, I think that if I read it more recently, I'd be a bit less enthralled by it simply by dint of my mental state slowly turning towards the black hole of grumpy that it's become, but I still really rather enjoy this story. It's straightforward, gets to the point, introduces the characters well (who are, for the most part, colourful and charming) and really gets you inside the mind of Discord. Turned to stone or otherwise, he's pretty fun to read, and seeing his appreciation of the Keepers change over time is endearing, subtle, and enjoyable.

It's a nice journey to see him go through. Considering the show takes him through a lot of ups and downs, it's interesting to see a much more straightforward and simpler take that's actually remarkable similar to his relationship with Fluttershy, despite the differences in context.

I remember this story being short, which is one of the reasons I finished it (I'm a notoriously slow reader) but it packs a surprising amount of punch and I can't recommend it more. At the very least, it's worth a read. I don't have much to say that I feel will make a difference, since Discord's journey and change alone is executed so nicely that there's not much that needs be said. If it did, I'd simply bring up the nice cast of OC characters that are all diverse and feel really rather tangible and real.

Story: Three Wishes: The Cutie Mark Crusaders Before They Changed The World, by Xepher.

Rating: 9.5/10.

Status: accepted.

I didn't actually read this so I could review it , and only started writing this sentence once I realized it had been submitted. No, I read this story because it was the prequel to a story in the featured box, and thought it sounded interesting. I've now read both stories and I'm not sorry I looked at either one.

Clocking in at just under 70,000 words, Three Wishes is about average when it comes to story length, but it packs quite a bit of character development and backstory into that space. The story itself is fairly simple: The CMC realize they're not exactly normal, we get a backstory for each one, and then they each discover their cutie marks. It's the execution that sells it here. These backstories and cutie mark tales are each lovingly crafted with expert skill, drawing on what made each pony special and bringing it out in unexpected ways. While Sweetiebot does sort of make an appearance, the other two Crusaders do not follow their respective memes, which makes for a nice change of pace. Of course, this is mere backstory for the real adventure, the sequel, but that doesn't mean it isn't good in its own right. Go check it out, I promise you won't be disappointed.

Reviewing: Eclipse

Read: Prologue plus five chapters

Status: Approved

I have a section in my bookshelves called 'Tales of the Sisters' for just such a story as this. Here we have a very poignant tale about trust, namely, Luna earning Celestia's trust soon after her return from banishment. This story thoroughly explores the emotions and motivations of each Sister, following Luna's unfortunate solution to what she deemed to be the reason Celestia doesn't fully trust her. And that's the problem, for the Celestia portrayed here is very much in canon, so she therefore holds no reservations about Luna; this begins as a problem of perception. Or should I say misconception, for it is as a result of the same Luna and Celestia end up traveling to Tartarus in order to retrieve something precious.

This author also makes excellent use of scenery and description, as every chapter was filled with such and it was quite easy to get lost in this tale. Not only that, all the OCs are intense and believable. The Dragon King Ragnarok immediately comes to mind, a truly unforgettable character.

My experience with reading this one was an interesting one, so I took my time. I felt that there was much more going on behind each paragraph, and I wanted to fully enjoy the tale. I believed if I hurried, I'd miss something vital. So I would read a chapter or two, then close the tale and consider what I'd read. I don't necessarily recommend every reader do the same, but that's how it worked best for me.

So sit back, grab a cup of your favorite beverage and put your feet up. Beauty like this needs to be given time.

5253476

The Dragon King Ragnarok immediately comes to mind, a truly unforgettable character.

It says something about the merits of this statement when several of the other comments on that story pretty much demanded a Ragnarok side story. Their wishes were answered.

Reading: Princess Celestia Gets Mugged

Reviewing: Princess Celestia Gets Mugged

Read: All

Status: Approved

Imagine yourself as a near-omnipotent being. You're loved, respected and admired, and you've been ruling for over one thousand years. Besides the many reactions you would have, one would surely crop up from time to time: BOREDOM. That accurately describes Celestia's state of mind in this tale.

Fed up with the constant bickering she must endure from the "nobles" Every. Single. Day she decides to finally take a day off. Disguising herself as a pegasus named Sunny Skies, she heads off into Canterlot to enjoy her time. And that's when the comedy ensues.

This is one of the best Comedies I've read in a long while. The author makes superb use of dialogue and scenery to weave this tale and even though all the OCs are not all sharing the same amount of screen time, one becomes deeply immersed in their plight, even though they brought it upon themselves. This tale also explores the relationship between the Two Sisters, and adds a depth to the story I found most surprising. I also very much like how the author portrayed the Sisters' royalty, something I've seen lacking with American authors.

To say much more would spoil the tale for any new readers, something I am loathe to do, so let me end this review by recommending this for anyone who wants a good, light-hearted chuckle as well as spot-on portrayals of canon characters.

Hey hey, I'm done with college for now. So Dapper shall be reading,
When an Angel Loses his Wings
for his grand return.

Reading: Sisters

This is part of a series, but there was no author's note indicating the other tale needed to be read first. Hopefully, that won't be the case.

When an Angel Loses his Wings
KingMoriarty
Drama

I can't lie that I'm quite fond of Blueblood fics, they always never turn out they way I expect them to. Sometimes he's a hero, other he's a royal prick that nopony will willingly stand beside because of his overbearing nature. So, naturally I was compelled to read this story since I read the one before it.

It wasn't an easy decision to make as I read this story, seeing how powerful the wordplay was and yet the bizarre absurdity the situation, from the reader's point of view, that we found Blueblood was in. My biggest peeve with this story is how long one scene did play out so obscenely long, granted this is only a one-shot chapter continuation but with how far everything went some parts felt a tad unnecessary to write about. Having details in a story is an amazing thing but going over the same topic over and over again can drive readers away. You have to be a dedicated BB fan to want to create so such an intimate tale (the part with the pirate Blueblood should be a story in its own right) to read through KM's Blue stories.

Now onto the positives. This is well written, no matter how much anyone wishes to criticize this work. Proper structure, adequate vocabulary and constant but not-to-rushed pacing kept this story in the green for me. It's evident how much effort was placed into this story and how much thought was given to how to make Blueblood have such a rich history. Without giving away the ending, Blueblood seems to have a deeper sense of longing and love in his life that in previous works hasn't been properly written yet.

Accepted Unusual, in a good way. Nowhere close to a serious story but one that gives you a new way to look at the spoiled prince.

Reviewing: Sisters

Read: Two chapters

Status: Rejected

I was hoping this tale wouldn't need the one that preceded it, but I suspect that's the case. There were too many things that just didn't make sense, the majority being the relationship between the two sisters. There was probably a further explanation concerning their rivalry in later chapters, but after struggling to read this story for almost a week I've had enough.

This story is also quite telly in nature and does not give proper lead-ins to the circumstances involved. For example, one of the sisters is named Cloud Blossom and she is missing one hind leg. This is something that probably should have been explained a bit further: was she born that way, or did she lose it in an accident? Like I said, it was probably covered in the preceding tale, as this one takes place thirty years after, but I still found it jarring.

But the biggest fault I have with this story is I was unable to become invested in the characters. It makes no sense to me that the two should actually hate each other, so much so they avoid even seeing their own mothers for years. The only clue I got was one was jealous of the other and in my experience sibling rivalry can lead to dislike, but something else has to be true in order for it to devolve into the level of hatred on display here. I suspect it was this author's attempt to illicit "da feelz" for this tale, but for me, the effort was wasted.

A proofreader and an editor would also help as there were instances of pronouns missing proper capitalization and quite a few run on sentences. Find that help, show rather than tell, and give better reasons for the emotions displayed.

Reading: Legionnaire

5277892

I loved that story. I was looking for a story with a weird title to read, and eventually, I found "Princess Celestia Gets Mugged". There were so many hilarious parts in the story, especially the part where the ponies who mugged her realized that the pony they kidnapped was actually Celestia herself! And Celestia's like, "Oh, hi" with a huge grin on her face.

5309259 Hey Winter, it's time for some cleaning. We've reviewed a whole bunch of stories that haven't been removed from the submissions folders yet. As I can't clear them out personally, could you please take of that for me? There's at least a dozen stories that have already been covered.

5319569
Certainly, I'll give them a look.

Reviewing: Legionnaire

Read: Prologue plus five chapters

Status: Approved

This one is a contradiction for me, for though it is very well written, it doesn't feel like an MLP tale. All the familiar MLP characters are Humans, with their corresponding names, but other than those names it seems they have very little in common with their pony counterparts. Twilight, Celestia and Luna are mentioned having wings, but I've yet to see any mention of horns. I did read one part where Twilight used offensive magic, but she did so through her hands.

The story could use an editor as well, for I noticed quite a few mechanical errors, such as improper dialogue punctuation, which is a pet peeve of mine. Also, the fifth chapter has odd tense shifts from present to the past, a matter which I wish the author would be consistent.

That's all the nitpicks out of the way, so let's dive into the story itself. What we have here is a sweeping epic involving superb world-building and invoking scenery. At this point in my reading, there exists a state of war between Equestria and the Khanate, a race of cat beings that I suspect were modeled after Larry Niven's Kzinti. Not that I'm accusing the author of plagiarism, I'm simply stating I recognize the resemblance. The title "Legionnaire" refers to the fact there exists a military unit within Equestria modeled after the French Foreign Legion, an intriguing concept. All the characters are well fleshed out and believable, which is quite impressive given their relatively short screen time: Celestia is stately and regal, Luna is mysterious and disciplined, Twilight is some what diffident, but learning. The OCs are extremely relatable and well-thought out as well. In short, despite the errors previously mentioned, this is an engaging and immersive adventure, and well worth one's time.

5319748 The following is a list of everything that's been reviewed in both submission folders but not yet removed. Just take them out for me, or better yet make me an admin and I'll take care of it for you.

From Pending Review:

The Ties That Bind Us, rejected.

Ab Initio-From the Start-Al Principio, Rejected.

Legionnaire, accepted.

Boarding School, Accepted.

From Submissions:

The Revenge of the Foal Sat, rejected.

I think there was a bit of overlap between the folders at some point, because about half of those stories were reviewed under Submissions yet still sitting in Pending Review.

Story: Apple Boom, by BlazzingInferno.

Rating: 7/10.

Status: accepted, barely.

I mostly read this one for the pun name, and frankly, that's the biggest draw. Looking back, I found it amusing, but not super interesting, and in the present I'm having a hard time coming up with reasons to care about it one way or the other. The story was written decently, and the concept is fairly funny, but something in the execution dropped the ball. It just didn't make me laugh. I'm not sure why, but something in the comedy was not up my alley. It's good enough to make it in here, since it is a somewhat original premise told in a way that doesn't suck, but it's far from one of my favorite's.

Story: It's Just Anatomy!, by eLLen.

Rating: 8/10.

Status: accepted.

EqG Rainbow Dash comes over to Sci-Twi's to study without letting Twilight know in advance (thanks to a texting error), and is surprised to learn that Twilight's entire family are nudists around the house. The rest of the story revolves around Rainbow Dash being super uncomfortable and trying to hide it, the Sparkle family not caring, and Rainbow's eventual adjustment to a new normal combined with a ton of innuendo based humor. This one is chuckle worthy, but again not super attention grabbing. The writing is good, but doesn't stand out, and while romance is sort of hinted at it's not explored. If the premise intrigues you, go ahead and check it out. If not, you can skip it.

5324489
I'd make you an admin already, but that's HapHazred's call. He's the one that does the hiring and firing here.

As far as the stories I'll get right on them. I went through them the first time you mentioned them, but I didn't delete any that I couldn't find a review for. I'll go over them again.

[Edit] I see the problem: some of the stories were duplicated in the Pending Review and the Submissions folders. As I usually only work the Submissions folder, they escaped my notice. Now I'd better go through both folders to correct that error.

P.S. I'll send Hap a PM about your promotion.